Xu zhimo's love for life and death

Love is a matter of life and death.

"What day is this! How heavy my heart is! Eyebrow, my eyebrow, what can I do? In an instant, between square inches, there are many kinds of things, with worries, worries, foresight and concern. What should we write? May, I'm scared. I'm really afraid that the world and we can't coexist. Either we destroy them and make us whole, or they destroy us and force us to die. Mei, I'm so sad, my chest hurts, and my eyes are full of tears. I want you, and I want you at this time. I can't have you. Oh, it's hard-love is painful, yes, Mei, there is no doubt anymore. Mei, I can't wait to die with you at once, because only death can give us the peace we long for and the mutual possession forever. May, I'll give you all my love, a warm truth, and I hope you will give me all your love. "

-Xu Zhimo

There is no pure love that only belongs to two people in the world, but there are also many people who pursue purity. Some people would rather fall in love with an illusion, while others pursue purity at the expense of death. Xu Zhimo doesn't seem to belong to either. His life is more complicated and unpredictable. what is love ? What is pure? If love is a matter of life and death, there must be Xu Zhimo among the men who are willing to die for love.

There are many descriptions about Lu Xiaoman, saying that she has an enviable oval face, carved eyes and ink-like eyebrows. Every gesture has its own charm.

Xu Zhimo described her eyes with poetry: "A pair of eyes are also talking, and the secret of the heart pops out in the eyes." Unlike Xu Shenru, the father of Liang Qichao and Xu Zhimo, Hu Shi has always liked Lu Xiaoman. He said, "Lu Xiaoman is a must-see."

Appearance will wither with the passage of time, but temperament will brew a rich fragrance with the passage of time. The eyebrow in Xu Zhimo's eyes (Xu Zhimo and Lu Xiaoman like to call her "eyebrow" when they are in love) is not only a beauty, but also a woman with both talents and looks.

Lujia has a daughter who has just grown up.

1903 September 19th of the lunar calendar is said to be the birth day of Guanyin Bodhisattva. Lu Xiaoman was born. She is white and tender, and her family calls her "Little Guanyin". I hope her birth will bring good luck to the Lujia family.

Lu Xiaoman's father Lu Ding was a juren in the late Qing Dynasty. He went to Japan in his early years and studied at Waseda University. He is a proud disciple of Japanese star Ito Bowen. While studying in Japan, Lu Ding joined the League and later worked in the Ministry of Finance of the Republic of China. He is the main founder of the savings bank of China. After Lu Xiaoman's mother, Wu Manhua, was also a noble family, it is not surprising that Lu Xiaoman grew up in such a family, and will be among the four talented women in the Republic of China in the future. Lu Xiaoman's parents are bent on training her daughter to become a famous person, so they have been giving her a new education. When she was in Shanghai, she went to kindergarten. She came to Beijing when she was 6 years old. Lu Xiaoman, who has reached school age, entered the primary school attached to Beijing Women's Normal University to receive a new education. When Lu Xiaoman was 9 years old, she went to Beijing Girls' Middle School to study. We should know that in such an era of war and turmoil, reading itself is the consumption of the rich, and women rarely receive secondary education.

Lu Xiaoman studied in Beijing Girls' Middle School until she was 14 years old.

Beijing Girls' Middle School was founded in 19 12. At that time, the courses offered were Chinese, Japanese, English, mathematics, physics, chemistry, gymnastics, biology, labor, painting, music, accomplishment, history, geography and martial arts. As far as the modern education system is concerned, women's secondary education at that time was very open and rich.

/kloc-at the age of 0/5, Lu Xiaoman was sent by his father to the Sacred Heart School run by the French. This is an aristocratic school and a celebrity school in China at that time. At that time, many precious daughters of Beijing's military and political ministers were studying at Sacred Heart School. Lu Ding also specially invited an English female teacher to teach her daughter English. Lu Xiaoman is gifted. At the age of sixteen or seventeen, he could speak English and French fluently. He also plays the piano well and is good at oil painting. She was dubbed "Queen" at school. Phoenix is not a phoenix tree. By chance, she came to the Foreign Ministry Street, where the Foreign Ministry of Beiyang Government is located. During the three years as a translator here, she completed the transformation from a female student to a social celebrity.

18 years old, Lu Xiaoman gradually became famous in Beijing society.

Lu Xiaoman is versatile, warm and polite, and her bright smile, light posture and soft voice have fascinated countless people. Gu Weijun (then Minister of Foreign Affairs) admired Lu Xiaoman very much. Once, he said to a friend in front of Lu Ding, "Lu Jiansan's face is not smart at all, but his daughter, Miss Lu Xiaoman, is so beautiful and smart."

A dissatisfied gentleman and a lady.

China has had the concept of belonging to the right family since ancient times, and this marital status has become an eternal "truth" under the influence of Confucianism. The marriage between Lu Xiaoman and Wang Geng was promoted under this thought. Why did Lu Xiaoman, who received a new education, readily agree to such a blind date?

1922, 19-year-old Lu Xiaoman reached the age of talking about marriage, and the Lujia couple finally chose Mr. Right-Wang Geng for her. At present, the conditions in Wang Geng are also quite attractive. He had a successful career when he was young. He graduated from Tsinghua University and went to study in the United States. He studied military affairs at West Point Military Academy, and was a classmate with American famous Eisenhower.

No wonder Lu Xiaoman's mother saw such a handsome guy as Wang Geng and betrothed Lu Xiaoman to him without hesitation. It took less than a month from engagement to marriage, which is simply a "flash marriage" in today's words.

This marriage was a typical upper-class gentleman-lady marriage at that time. Although Wang Geng is a successful teenager, he is a poor boy. The Lujia paid all the expenses for the wedding. The wedding was held at the then "Navy Gala".

This wedding is no less luxurious than the wedding of Prince William and Princess Kate. It is said that there are as many as nine bridesmaids in Lu Xiaoman, including Cao Rulin's daughter, Zhang Zongxiang's daughter, Ye Gongchuo's daughter, Zhao Chunnian's daughter and several English ladies.

Lu Xiaoman so pays photogenic married Wang Geng.

No matter how gorgeous the wedding is, there will be an end. After the sweet joy of the wedding, two people who don't know each other very well, just get along for half a year, will have a marriage crisis.

Wang Geng is a soldier, and his love is even more silent. When you are asleep, you put on a coat silently and do things that love you silently behind your back, but as far as Lu Xiaoman was concerned at that time, it was incomprehensible. She prefers roses and poems, which Wang Geng can't give. Some girls like Geng and think he has a sense of security, but this sense of security is insignificant in Lu Xiaoman's eyes. She is a good girl and used to luxurious food. If there is anything missing, it is vigorous love and adventurism.

Many people accuse Lu Xiaoman and Xu Zhimo of falling in love with a friend's wife for no reason, and Lu Xiaoman of being unfaithful to her husband's friend. Sometimes, we just meet the right person at the wrong time, which is helpless and even more unfortunate. If Lu Xiaoman had known Zhimo before marriage and Xu Zhimo had known Xiaoman before marriage, would the doubt have subsided? The answer is yes. Even if that person is not Xu Zhimo, Lu Xiaoman will fall in love with someone else, and that person will never be Wang Geng.

The wind leaves lingering, promised to take the leaves to see the outside world. The leaves hesitated and asked the tree for advice. The tree said, "I won't give up until you leave." One day, the leaves were blown by the wind, so I chose to drift with the wind.

The tree asked the leaves, "Why did you leave?" Gaoxing Ye said quietly, "Because I want to see the outside world." In fact, this tree loves leaves so much that it didn't keep them to satisfy their wishes. The wind asked the leaves, "Why do you want to go with me?" Ye said happily, "Because you gave me a fantasy and satisfied me."

In this marriage game, Wang Geng chose to let go.

1925 In September, Wang Geng divorced Lu Xiaoman and never got married again. He loves Lu Xiaoman so much that he is willing to forget someone all his life.

Loving you is a lifetime journey.

19261010.3 (the seventh day of the seventh lunar month) is the legendary day when the cowherd and the weaver girl meet. On this day, an entertaining and sensational wedding was held in Beijing Beihai Park, which affected all the big names in China cultural circles at that time.

The groom is the poet Xu Zhimo, the bride is Lu Xiaoman, one of the four talented women in the Republic of China, the witness is Liang Qichao, the host is Hu Shi, and the participants are all famous figures in the modern history of China.

He finally got his wish and married his beloved Lu Xiaoman. Looking at his shy wife, he finally held her in his arms and called her eyebrow. However, what is upright in his eyes is so unfair in the eyes of his teacher Liang Qichao. At the wedding, Liang Qichao said to him, "Xu Zhimo, you are impetuous and have learned nothing. It is also the failure of learning and being a man. If you divorce and remarry, you have no proof of love! " Lu Xiaoman, you and Xu Zhimo are both experienced people. I hope that from now on, you can follow the path of women and review your personality and behavior. Divorce and remarriage, it's all your character's fault. I hope you don't make a mistake again ... in short, I hope this is the last time you two get married in your life! This is my congratulations to you! I'm finished! "

These words embarrassed the newcomers present. When love meets marriage, it is no longer a matter of two people. When we are in idolize, don't forget that our feet are still covered with mud. After marriage, Lu Xiaoman had to accept the fact of meeting her in-laws.

Lunar calendar1September 9, 926, newly married Lu Xiaoman left Beijing with Xu Zhimo and returned to Xu's hometown Haining.

In Xu Zhimo's letter to Zhang Weici, he wrote: "We lived in Shanghai for more than a month. It was not until the week before that we officially went home. Very lively. Lu Xiaoman is simply a remake of The Bride, which is much more colorful than that made in Beijing. She kowtowed more than a hundred times, not to mention the noise in the new house. It's not bad for country people to see the bride. He will look at the past ten eight hours with dozens of dull eyes, and it will be funny for you to see Lu Xiaoman's embarrassment. Very noisy. It's noisy, but it's quiet. It's really quiet I can hear the sound of dropping a needle at home these two days. My father is in Shanghai, and there is only my mother at home. He gets up around 9 o'clock every day, eats for a whole day, and gets into bed at 8 o'clock in the evening. The man kept screaming cold. What can the master do, except snuggle up to her and catch fire on her, and the master is frozen stiff. Do you think this is fun or bitter? Our family is ok, and now the stove is on fire. "

This letter is full of joy for my son to take his wife to see his in-laws, but how can a staid and serious Xu Shenru really like the delicate-tempered Lu Xiaoman?

Before long, Xu Shenru finally made a decision that Lu Xiaoman could not accept. Because he didn't like Lu Xiaoman's manner, he arrived in Shanghai in advance. A few days later, he made an appointment with his wife to meet him in Shanghai, and then he left for Beijing to find Zhang Youyi. This is all the drama of parents-in-law running away from home for their son's ex-wife, but it really happened to Lu Xiaoman and Xu Zhimo. I don't know if it's acclimatized or depressed. Soon after, Lu Xiaoman contracted lung disease.

Without the strict supervision of parents, Lu Xiaoman felt that life was very easy, and he no longer had to be bound by this or that. There is always a silver lining behind the dark clouds! She and Xu Zhimo planted grass and flowers in this unique old house in Shi Xia, and lived a transcendental life of "fragrant grass, first-class people and purity".

Unfortunately, the good times did not last long.

1May, 926, the Northern Expedition began.

On June 6th, Zhejiang Governor Xia Chao declared independence.

1February, 927, the Eastern Route Army of the Northern Expeditionary Army launched the Jiangsu-Zhejiang War. On March 19, 2009, he occupied Hangzhou, and then pursued Sun Dajun northward along the Shanghai-Hangzhou line.

With the approaching of the war, Xu Zhimo and Lu Xiaoman had to interrupt the idyllic life of the newlyweds and were forced to move to Shanghai. Shanghai's singing and dancing, intoxicated by money, once again inspired Lu Xiaoman to be a rich girl, who loves money, likes playing cards, lives a luxurious life and is obsessed with opium. In Xu Zhimo's words, Lu Xiaoman lost all her passion when she fell in love after marriage, and it seems that she is no longer a spiritual woman. Such Lu Xiaoman is strange to him.

She gets up after noon every day, draws pictures, writes letters and receives visitors in the afternoon, dances, plays cards and watches operas in the evening. He often persuades Lu Xiaoman diplomatically, but she goes her own way. No matter how hard Xu Zhimo tries, he can't get his own fraction back.

He once wrote a letter to complain to Lin, complaining to the woman he once loved deeply, but now she married him. I wonder if Xu Zhimo, who wrote to Lin at that moment, will have another wave in his heart?

Lu Xiaoman once said to Yu Dafu's wife Wang Yingxia: "In principle, married life should be sweeter and happier than in the past, but this is not the case. Marriage has become the grave of love. Xu Zhimo is a romantic poet, and the love he yearns for is the best under unpredictable circumstances, which is an illusory love. Once you marry your beloved girlfriend, your fantasy disappears, your enthusiasm disappears, and life becomes boiled water and tasteless. " As a wife, Lu Xiaoman knows Xu Zhimo. He struggled for purity all his life. The consequence of not wanting to fall in love with the phantom is to watch the beauty that has been left in the memory disappear.

Xu Shenru was very dissatisfied with Lu Xiaoman, so he made a clean break with Xu Zhimo and his wife economically. Xu Zhimo had to attend classes at Guanghua University, Soochow University, Shanghai Law School, Nanjing Central University and even Peking University in Peiping. After school, he had to catch up on writing poems to earn money. Even so, Lu Xiaoman still doesn't know how to be thrifty and restrained.

/kloc-in the autumn of 0/930, when Lu Xiaoman celebrated his 29th birthday, Xu Zhimo simply resigned from his posts in Shanghai and Nanjing. At the invitation of Hu Shizhi, she became Professor Peking University and Professor of Beijing Women's Normal University. While Xu Zhimo himself went north, he also urged Lu Xiaoman to go north with him, dreaming that two people would go to Beijing to open up a new world. But Lu Xiaoman insisted on not leaving Shanghai. Xu Zhimo's lonely and hazy eyes reflected Lu Xiaoman's pipe on the table. He knew that she was smoking again. After looking at her again, Xu Zhimo went north alone.

Time flies. 193 1 year, Xu's mother died, and Lu Xiaoman hurried to Haining. This is her third visit to Haining. Xu Shenru refused to let Lu Xiaoman in, so she had to stay in a hotel in Shi Xia and return to Shanghai on the same day. Zhang Youyi attended Xu's mother's funeral in the name of his adopted daughter. This incident dealt a great blow to Lu Xiaoman. She thinks she has no position in the Xu family, so she is not as good as Zhang Youyi who has divorced Xu Zhimo.

Xu Zhimo immediately wrote to Lu Xiaoman, expressing his anger and helplessness: "If my family cheats you, it is bullying me. It is a fact that I can't protect my beloved wife or myself. I am so depressed that I have nothing to say. The source of grievances is my father. I contradicted him that night, and he went to cry. " A competent husband, between his wife and parents, should act as a diplomat, know how to mediate and know how to be measured. At this point, Xu Zhimo didn't do well enough, but Lu Xiaoman knew more about convergence and tricks.

This is the fuse of contradiction. 193 1 1 At the beginning of October, Lu Xiaoman, who was in financial difficulties, was unable to maintain ostentation and extravagance in Shanghai, and sent a telegram urging Xu Zhimo to return to the south. 165438+1October 1 1, Xu Zhimo flew to Nanjing by Zhang Xueliang's special plane and returned to his home in Shanghai on 13. Unexpectedly, the couple quarreled as soon as they met. According to Yu Dafu's memory, "At that time, Lu Xiaoman didn't listen to advice, lost his temper and threw his pipe at Xu Zhimo's face. Xu Zhimo quickly dodged, but fortunately missed, the gold-rimmed glasses fell to the ground and the glass was broken. " In a rage, Xu Zhimo ran away angrily.

193 1 year 1 month18th, Xu Zhimo arrived in Nanjing by the early train and lived in Hejia. Xu Zhimo originally planned to take Zhang Xueliang's Ford plane back to Beijing. Before leaving, Zhang Xueliang informed him that something had to be rescheduled. In order to catch up with Lin's lecture on China ancient architecture given to foreign guests in the auditorium of Peking Union Medical College that night, Xu Zhimo couldn't wait to get on the 19 postal plane and go to Beijing.

If Lu Xiaoman was more considerate of Xu Zhimo, he might not be in such a hurry to go to another woman. When a man is hurt by a woman, he will go to another woman to heal. What's more, the woman knew Xu Zhimo's Lin before Lu Xiaoman.

Before boarding the plane, Xu Zhimo sent a short message to Lu Xiaoman, which said, "There is heavy fog in Xuzhou, and I have a headache and don't want to go. I'm going back to Shanghai. " But in the end he left. Due to heavy fog, the plane crashed into a mountain and exploded near Dangjia Village in Jinan at noon 12: 30. The then "News" reported: "The plane arrived in Xuzhou at 10 a.m. 10, and continued northbound at10.20 a.m., when the weather was fine. Unexpectedly, the plane flew to the vicinity of Dangjia Village in Wuli, Jinan. Suddenly caught in a fog, unable to advance or retreat. As a result, it hit the top of the mountain, the fuselage caught fire, the oil overflowed, and the fire flew into a rage, which could not be stopped. The pilot Wang, Liang and passenger Xu Zhimo were killed at the same time. It is also a miracle that the three deceased were all 36 years old. " There were three people on board in Zhimo, Even Xu, and none survived.

That year, Lu Xiaoman was 29 years old.

Lu Xiaoman must have really regretted the bad news. A man who walked two places for her; The man who wrote countless touching love letters for her left; The person who accompanied her to the stage to sing opera left. When she wants to cherish and love, it is really too late. ...

No matter how she cries, the once glamorous man can never come back now.

1936, a great event happened in Shanghai literary world. On the occasion of the 40th anniversary of Xu Zhimo's birth and the 5th anniversary of his death in the 20th century, Lu Xiaoman, Xu Zhimo's widow, published Love My Eyebrows in memory of her lover Xu Zhimo, which made the unforgettable love between her and Xu Zhimo thoroughly known to the world and added a beautiful essay to the history of China literature in the 20th century.