Want a funny text message

1. Do you want to get rich? Do you want to get lucky? Do you want to be an official? Do you want to become famous overnight? Do you want to be young forever? Do you want people all over the world to be crazy about you? ——————————— Stop dreaming, wash your feet and sleep!

There are three small animals chatting in the forest. Piggy: Nicknames are popular now. You can call me Piggy in the future! Rabbit: Then I'll call it Rabbit! The chicken is unhappy: I have work to do, so I'll go first!

3. It's rainy and humid, and I feel so wet ... Every night, you just stare at the cold window. I came over and said to you gently, "Wang Cai, go in. The bone delivery man won't come today." .

This may be the last time I send you a text message. I'm hesitating to tell you that I'm going to America in the near future, and all the formalities have been completed. I can't help it, really Bush said he couldn't deal with Saddam without me.

5. Inspiration from finding a monkey: I lost a little hairy monkey. Features: dirty, runny nose, with a mobile phone, can read text messages. If I love monkeys, I will reply to my master quickly! Master misses you so much!

When I heard that you were trafficked, I was really scared. Although you grew up with dementia, it is harmless to society. Who is so bold as to dare to sell you? I'm worried about him. It's strange to sell it!

7. I told my mother: I like you! After spending so much time with you, I feel I can't live without you. I want you to come to my house every day to accompany me! But my mother didn't agree. She said: no dogs at home!

8. I changed my job and now I work in a bank, not far from you. Come to me when you have time, call my name at the bank, and I'll know! I changed my name. That's too vulgar. I'll call sister Qiang first.

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Funny SMS 1

You are very creative. It is your courage to live. Ugliness is not your intention, but God has a little temper. You have to live bravely. Without you, who can foil the beauty of the world?

6 When I met 9, I said: Take two steps and practice handstand. 0 meets 8 and says: If you are fat, you will be fat. Why should you wear a belt? 7 Meet 2 and say: Come on, I won't marry you if you don't kneel; I haven't seen breast augmentation for several days!

One day, Liu Hongtao met a foreign guest. He said, I'm Liu Hongtao, and the foreign guest said, I'm Fang Qi!

Abcdefghijklmnpqrstvwxz, do you know what's missing? Even if you don't have you, I want more happiness, my friend, for life!

Not every flower can represent love, but roses can; Not every tree can withstand thirst, but poplar can; Not every pig can read text messages, but you did. Congratulations!

In the vast sea of people, when you receive this sincere blessing, please try your best to hit your head against the wall-see? Countless stars in front of you are my infinite concern!

I wrote your name in the sky, but it was taken away by the wind; I wrote your name on the beach, but it was swept away by the waves; So I wrote your name on every corner of the street ... Shit, I was taken away by the police!

You are the sun in my heart, but it is raining; You are the moon in my dream, but it is covered by clouds; You are the most beautiful flower in my heart, but it has already bloomed; You are Chang 'e in the sky, but your face landed first. ...

Funny SMS 2

1, I have been friends with you for so long, and you have always cared about me, but I often give you trouble. I really don't know how to answer you. Therefore, in the next life, if you are a cow and a horse, I will definitely pull weeds for you to eat.

If you are a meteor, I will chase you. If you are a satellite, I will wait for you. If you were a star, I would fall in love with you. Too bad you are an orangutan!

Meeting you is the beginning of my heart. Falling in love with you is my happy choice; Having you is my most precious wealth; Stepping into the red carpet is my eternal motivation. Unfortunately-I sent it to the wrong person.

Because of you, I believe in fate. Maybe all this is predestined by heaven, and it is God who has brought us together. What I want to say now is-what crime did I commit in my last life?

Starting from tomorrow, the city has decided to drive away all the mentally retarded young people who are ugly and detrimental to the city appearance! Hurry up and pack your things, go out for shelter from the rain, and don't tell anyone that I informed you, remember! You are welcome!

6. God saw your desire and created water; God saw that you were hungry and created rice; God saw that you had no lovely friends and created me; However, he also saw that there is no idiot in this world and created you by the way.

7. It is a pleasure to miss you! Loving you is what I will always do! Keeping you in mind is what I have been doing! However, lying to you is how to return a responsibility!

8. According to statistics, more than 99.9% people who look like pig heads read short messages with thumb buttons! Hey, hey, don't change hands, it's too late, pig!

9. If it is a mistake to be beautiful, then I am all wet; If being smart is a crime, I have committed a heinous crime, and it is really difficult to be a human being. But you're fine. You are right and innocent. I really envy you!

10, if you burn incense for one year, you will encounter incense for three years, and it will take you 10 to cherish you. Therefore, for the happiness of my next life, I am willing to convert to Christ.

Funny SMS 3

1, freeze! Robbery! Hands up. Men stand on the left, women stand on the right, perverts stand in the middle, hey! I'm talking about you, pretending to look at your mobile phone! ?

Because your mobile phone is extremely ugly, Beijing Telecom has stopped it for you. Please stop the machine before the end of this month. ?

3. The four ideals of pigs: all the surrounding fences are removed, and the feed falls from the sky. The butcher of the world is dead, and the people of the whole country believe in Islam. ?

4. Being single is an understanding, falling in love is a mistake, breaking up is an awareness, getting married is a mistake, and divorce is a great realization! No lover is a waste, but many lovers are animals! ?

Two cows are eating grass. One of them said; "Recently mad cow disease epidemic. We will not be infected, will we? " The other end of the phone said; "No, we are kangaroos." Already crazy! ?

The hunter found a pig, raised his shotgun and killed it. The hunter approached the pig, but the pig stood up. Do you know why? Can't guess? The pig is also wondering. ?

7. A girl went to the pasture to milk, and everyone else squeezed a bucket. She only squeezed a little. She is in a hurry. Suddenly the old cow said, Miss, you are in the wrong place! ?

8. Rooster and hen hatch chicks. There is something wrong with this chicken's thinking. It doesn't eat, drink or rest. Cock hen observes stupid chickens. Silly chicken is not paying attention, looking down at the mobile phone! ?

9, please read aloud: lying plum smells flowers, lying branches hurt and hate low. Invited to smell the wet rubble lying in the spring green. ?

10, the eagle chased the rabbit, but fell down because of the rabbit's words and died. Do you know what the rabbit said? It shouted, you're not wearing a bra! When the eagle heard this, he quickly covered his chest. As a result ...?

1 1, four modern fools: go home from work and earn money for your wife to spend. Leave your phone number with the lady and order lobster at the hotel. ?

12, your smile is sweet, you look cute when you are angry, you are the most beautiful in my eyes, and you are the best in my heart. Is it very touching? You pig.

13, I had a dream last night, and you were the protagonist! I dreamed that you were panting after a pig with a kitchen knife. The pig suddenly knelt down and begged for mercy, saying, we are born from the same root, so why fry each other! ?

14, I wish you a fortune and set foot on Marlboro. Your career is in Hongtashan, your lover is better than Ashima, and your financial resources are all over Greater China. ?

15, I Kao! I took you there! ?

16, handsome, handsome, with a nest of cabbage on his head and a sack of kelp in his waist. He thinks he is Dong Fangbubai, but he is actually a failed God II! ?

17, a man raising a woman outside is called "the golden house hides the charming". Women raising men are called "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" outside. ?

18, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. I just want to cooperate with you, because you are too impulsive. Although I am not a gentleman, I will not take advantage of people's danger! ?

19, one center on the internet, two basic points: the personal situation centered on MM is basically shameless and basically untrue. This policy is most fully implemented among men. ?

20. Your five senses are all good separately, but they can be combined to distinguish animal images. ?

2 1. In order to test your Mandarin, please read aloud the following poems: dark stone green, dark pink, dark stone passing through Chun Lv, dark stone passing through Chun Zhu. ?

22. I heard that you quit your female secretary. What did she do wrong? "I told her I love you. She typed this sentence and asked me to sign it. " ?

23. The daughter asked her mother, "Was Dad shy before?" ? "If he wasn't shy, you would be at least four years older now!" ?

24. Sorry, it was sent by mistake. ?

25. "How much do you love me?" ? "Almost a dime." ? "Is that all?" "Isn't a dime ten dollars?" ?

26. I rode a motorcycle to the countryside one day and didn't want my car to break down. An old farmer came to help me with a mule cart. While driving, he said with emotion, "Motorcycles should be pulled by mules"? . ?

27. Mobile phone self-check warning: mobile phone has virus. Please delete all phone numbers and short messages in your mobile phone within 15 seconds, or your sim card will burn your mobile phone. ?

28. Although you don't have the appearance of a pig, you definitely have the temperament of a pig! ?

29. Take MM to the gym and show her all kinds of equipment. One of them is to practice latissimus dorsi rubber band. MM suddenly said, do you come here every night to pimp? I fainted on the spot. ?

30, boy, you say it! Is it a one-on-one fight or a group fight? Fight! We will fight you one by one! One-on-one, you choose us! ?

3 1, the mother mouse took the mouse out to steal things, and when she met a cat, the mice were frightened. As a result, the mother mouse learned to bark twice and scared the cat away. It proudly turned to the mice and said, "Children, from this incident, we can see how important it is to learn a foreign language well!" " ?

32. Men's four ideals: money falls from the sky, handsome guys are dead, and beautiful women's brains are rusty, vying for me to soak. ?

33. Is it easier to love someone than to raise someone?