Ask for a few routines to make your girlfriend happy (not QQ or WeChat chat)

Ask a few routines to make your girlfriend happy (not QQ or WeChat chat) and play a game with her. You can say, "Baby, let's play a game! I say an idiom, you say her second and third thing, quick! " Then she said, "Everything goes well ..." She made it up herself and said, "Very much in love." She would reply, "Kiss me." you can ...

How to make your girlfriend happy when chatting? Tell her some jokes, coax her more, be serious when there are many people, and you know that girls like such men when there are few people.

One day, the pig said to the bear, "Guess how many sweets are in my pocket?"

The bear said, "That's right. Can you give it to me?"

The pig must nod: "well, I guess I'll give it to you two!" " "

The bear swallowed and said, "I guess there are five pieces."

What are you eating?

Man: Honey, I'm back. Let's eat chicken wings tonight.

Woman: You still want to eat chicken wings. I just read a news in the newspaper that chicken wings are the place with the most hormones in chickens!

Man: Then eat pork.

Woman: Great. I still eat pork. Yesterday, I just heard that there are illegal traders selling fake meat!

Son: It's not good to eat vegetables without meat.

Woman: I heard that there are too many pesticides on food to wash off!

M: Then you can only eat rice.

Woman: Rice? How can there be rice without bleach now, huh? !

M: It seems that we can only drink the northwest wind.

Son: Yes.

Woman: Northwest wind? It is said that all the blowing is automobile exhaust.

Son: ......

Male: ......

One day, the rabbit was watching TV and went to a great place.

Suddenly I heard a knock at the door and went to open it, but there was no one inside.

"Hello, can I have some water?"

The rabbit found a snail at the door.

"no!" The rabbit kicked the snail away angrily with its foot.

A few years later, the rabbit watched TV at home alone.

The knock on the door rang again.

The rabbit ran to open the door,

The snail said, "Why did you kick me just now? !

Grandma educated her grandson: "Cover your mouth with your hands when you cough!"

Grandson: "Don't worry, Grandma, I just won't let my teeth fall out."

Let your classmates who laugh until your stomach hurts make sentences 1. Subject: When ...

The child wrote: He took off his clothes and put on his trousers.

Teacher's comment: Does he want to take it off or wear it?

2. Title: Among them

Children write: My left foot is hurt.

Teacher's comment: Are you a centipede?

3. Title: One by one

The child wrote: After work, my father went home one after another.

Teacher's comment: How many dads do you have?

4. Theme: Sadness

The child wrote: There is a ditch in front of my house, so sad.

Teacher's comment: The teacher is even sadder.

5. Title: Again ... Again ...

Children write: My mother is short, tall, fat and thin.

Teacher's comments; Is your mother a deformed diamond?

6. Title: Look.

The child wrote: What are you looking at? I haven't seen

Teacher's comment: I haven't seen it.

7. title: prosperity

Children write: bustling confession.

Teacher's comment: Don't watch too many series!

8. Title: Delicious

Children write: delicious fart.

Teacher's comment: Some things are inedible.

9. Title: Innocence

The child wrote: It's really hot today.

Teacher's comment: You are so naive.

10. Title: Sure enough

Children write: I ate fruit yesterday and then drank cold water.

Teacher's comment: Yes

1 1. theme: ... first, then ... example: eat first, then take a bath.

Children write: goodbye, sir!

Teacher's comment: Imagination exceeds the wisdom of people on earth.

12. Title: In addition,

The child wrote: a train passed by, besides, besides, besides.

Teacher's comment: forget it if I die.

There was a traffic accident and many people were watching it, but a reporter couldn't get in. He had a brainwave and shouted: I am the son of the injured, please get out of the way! As expected, the onlookers got out of the way. The reporter looked at it and it was a pig that was crushed to death!

When I first entered school, the whole class introduced themselves. A male student stepped onto the platform: "My name is Wang Peng, from Beijing. I love playing chess! "

Then I went down. The next one is a girl. The woman shyly stepped onto the platform and introduced herself with trepidation: "I ... my name is Shakuyaku ..."

There was a man who kept a god pig. He doesn't want it, so he wants to get rid of it and send it back to You Zhu! Once he sent the pig far away, and later he called his wife and said, "Is the pig back?"

The wife said, "I'm back!" "

He said, "Call the pig to pick me up. I'm lost. "

One day, the teacher asked Xiao Ming, "1+ 1=?" Xiao Ming said,' I don't know. The teacher or: "Ask your family.

He went to ask his mother, who quarreled again and said, "Bastard. I went to ask grandpa again. Grandpa was watching TV and said,' Gangster boss. I asked my sister again. My sister is singing the national anthem and says, "Forward, forward! I asked my brother again. My brother ate ice cream again and said, "How cool! I went to ask my sister who was singing children's songs and said, "Tutu, open the door."

The next day, the teacher asked Xiao Ming 1+ 1=? Xiao Ming said, "Asshole." The teacher said, "Who taught you that? Xiao Ming said: "the boss of the gang. The teacher said, "What are you doing?" Xiao Ming said, "Forward, forward! After class, the teacher asked how it was. Xiao Ming said, "That's cool! The teacher told Xiao Ming to shut up. Xiao Ming said, "Open the door, Little Rabbit. The teacher fell down."

Mother and son went to the zoo and came to the iron cage where the lion was kept. Mother said, "son, don't get too close!" " "

The son replied, "mom, don't worry, I won't hurt it."

"Little pig and mother go to a restaurant for dinner. Piglet wanted to eat "braised pork intestines" and was scolded by her mother. "Are you sick? Eat your own meat? -Waiter, let's eat jiaozi! "

"What kind of stuffing do you want?"

"Pork and green onions."

Ask for a few short messages to make your girlfriend happy, not quantity, but quality. Okay？ My father asked me what kind of life I wanted. I answered money and beauty, and my father punched me in the face; I answered career and love, and my father touched my head appreciatively.

The female spy reported to her boss: I have captured the son of an enemy general ... Boss: Where is it? I want to ask him. W: Not now. He's in my belly. I'll wait at least seven or eight months.

Teacher: "What's the difference between a parachute and a condom? 」

Xiao Qiang: "One protects the top and the other protects the bottom. 」

Teacher: "60 points! 」

Xiaocui: "One person is missing when the parachute is broken, and one person is missing when the condom is broken. 」

Teacher: "100! 」

Pig Bajie went to Korea for beauty and became a handsome guy, so he went to a nightclub to find a beautiful woman. After the break, Bajie asked the beautiful woman, Do you know how ugly I used to be? I'm Pig Bajie! The beauty is frightened: second brother, I am Lao Sha!

Marriage is a keyboard, too much order and rules; Love is a mouse and it works at all. Men are more important than their masters, and memory is the most important; Women are like monitors, they can see everything.

Two men are sitting outside the doctor's office. One asked the other, what's wrong with you? The other said, "There is a red circle on my penis. What about you? " "There is a green circle on my JJ." After a while, the doctor let the red circle go first. After a while, he came out and said that the doctor told him it was all right. The one with the green circle went in. The doctor examined him and said to him, "Your penis will rot slowly and you will die." "What? You told the man in the red circle that there was nothing wrong, but you told me that you would die? " "Oh, JJ has a lipstick and a moldy ring, but these are two different things!"

Reading today, I was depressed to see that Emperor Kangxi became the king of a country at the age of twenty-three. But when I saw that the Tongzhi emperor was 23 years old and had died for four years, my heart was balanced.

On Valentine's Day, I found the phone number of a girl I secretly loved in middle school and sent her a short message: If there is only one bowl of porridge, you should drink half a bowl first, and I will put the remaining half bowl in my arms to keep you warm. ...

I am in a bad mood today. Last night's short message let me know that the girl I secretly love has fallen, and even told me 400. ...

I was very sad at that time. I was sad and rummaged through my wallet: I had dinner and enjoyed smoking on the balcony. Suddenly, I saw a flash in the night sky, and I was excited: a meteor! So I made a wish at once ... I made six or seven wishes, opened my eyes and threw the cigarette out of the balcony. Suddenly I heard a girl's voice downstairs: "Wow! Meteor! Make a wish ... "

Women scream when they see men naked, and men whistle when they see women naked.

Most men, like Tang Priest, have n chances to get married in the process of learning the scriptures.

Women's * * * and nagging will make men powerless.

A woman's belly is knocked up by a man, and a man's belly is still knocked up by a man. The former is due to fertilization, and the latter is due to alcohol.

Because money is treated like dirt, flowers are always inserted in cow dung.

The division of labor is different: before a man goes to work, his wife wears a tie, and before going to bed, his lover unfastens his belt.

Doing one's best is malicious dumping, and refusing to marry outside is local protectionism.

Women have no news, which may be good news for men; No news of men is definitely bad news for women.

It is an idiom story that the old lady grinds the iron pestle into a needle, and it is an adult story that the young man grinds the needle into an iron pestle.

Kissing is a pastime for men, but an ecstasy for women.

Husband-in the eyes of his wife, it is a little higher than "heaven".

Men want to lock the zipper of women's wallets, and women want to lock the zipper of men's pants.

A woman with amorous feelings is a lighter, and a woman without amorous feelings is a fire extinguisher.

Go home early on business trip, call downstairs first, at least give them time to get dressed.

It is much more difficult to catch brain cells than egg cells. Organize the laughter SMS network

People are born to love, so if you want to learn to be a man, you must first learn * * *.

The purpose of installing a mirror in the bathroom is to let people look in the mirror when urinating.

I want to cry when I hear "I love you" for the first time, laugh when I hear "I love you" for the second time, and cry when I hear "I love you" for the third time.

C- A third party who intervenes in the feelings of Party A and Party B and causes one of them to leave.

Tears on the wound have the same effect as salt on the wound.

Life is like a play, filming can be ng, but life can't.

Junior artists are inspired by pain, while senior artists are inspired by happiness.

In the early days of love, men like to play the role of savior; At the end of love, women like to play the role of victims.

Honeymoon-a suspended sentence before the "wife" sentence.

I won't turn my back on love because I don't know anything, I will be cautious about love because I have a little knowledge, and I will refuse love because I know it thoroughly.

Robbing the rich and helping the poor is the gentlest way.

Ask for some jokes or puzzles that can amuse your girlfriend. In fact, I like the airport very much, especially the radio there. As soon as I heard it, I felt that I was in control of the world.

Passengers of flight ——“XXXXXX, please prepare to board the throne. 」

At home on holiday, I feel more and more like Hawking, the giant of science.

Every day, I lie in a chair or bed, tilt my neck, stare blankly ahead, and then occasionally use my fingers.

Of course, the brain hole gap is still too big. ......

The bus slipped. Based on the glorious idea that I am a party activist, I got off the bus and pushed it.

Then, then the car drove away. .

I have no faith since then.

In history class, the teacher asked Xiaoming, "Do you know what Li Shizhen's works are?"

Xiao Ming replied, "I don't know his works, but I know what his last words were."

The teacher was curious and asked him what he said. Xiao Ming: "Wow, this grass is poisonous ..."

One day, Xiaoming and Xiaoguang went to the seaside to tell jokes. As a result, they suddenly died Why? Because of the tsunami (laughs)

There is a steamed stuffed bun, walking, suddenly feeling very hungry, so I ate it myself.

There is a serious imbalance between male and female in a university of technology, and there is only one girl in grade 2004.

On the eve of graduation, a person from Qiukun Society mobilized the whole class of boys in 2004 to make a questionnaire survey with only one topic: "Did everyone go to primary school?"

As a result, the boy was expelled from school the next day. . . . . . (Girls are called primary schools)

Who can teach me some topics that make my girlfriend happy, talk about his favorite topics and tell him some jokes or something?

In fact, it is unnecessary to send a text message to tease your girlfriend in the morning. I have known my boyfriend for more than two years. In the past two years, our days together add up to no more than a week. At first, he was a soldier in the special police team. After he came back from the army this year, he was busy flying around looking for a job. He doesn't have time to come back once a month or two, only for one or two days at a time, dealing with company affairs during the day. However, our feelings are unexpected. In fact, the most contact between us is the mobile phone, so it has long been a habit to get up every day. The first and last thing I do before I go to bed is to send him a message, and so does he. The content of the message is very simple, just a greeting. It looks ordinary, but it makes us all feel very warm. Besides, I pay attention to the weather in Shanghai, Shenzhen and Beijing now ... these cities he often goes to, and then make daily records. In addition to telling him the weather at the first time, when I know where he is going on a business trip, I will tell him all the local conditions in recent days, let him know the situation in the past few days and the temperature changes in the next few days, so that he can be prepared. In fact, these are all accumulated by your heart. Sometimes a seemingly simple and mediocre sentence will be an emotion in the other person's heart. It is better to send something that is really useful to the other party than something that is beautifully dressed. Feel her with your heart and believe in yourself!

Humorous topic to amuse girlfriend. If all the pigs in the world are dead, put a song title.

The answer is at least you.

Woman: Your honor, I want to sue him for indecent assault.

Man: Wrong! I didn't touch her.

Judge: What did he do to you?

Woman: I've invited him to dinner several times, but he didn't even ask me to sign in. As the saying goes, it is impolite to come and not to be indecent.

Judge: Now the defendant is sentenced to reciprocate and meet the plaintiff's requirements!

Male: ...

To please your girlfriend's joke, you are beautiful, baby. I love you.