Fatal SMS story

1. What animal has the least sense of direction? Answer: Elk (lost)

2. What animal will never win or lose in guessing boxing? Answer: crab

3. What animal falls down most easily? Answer: cunning fox (slippery foot)

4. What chicken has no wings? Answer: Frog.

5. If there is a fire in the zoo, which animal will escape first? Answer: people

6. Farmers have raised 10 cows, with only 19 horns. Why? Answer: There is a rhinoceros.

7. What animal can stick to the wall? Answer: Seal (poster)

8. Let nine horses be evenly distributed in ten stables, and the number of horses in each stable is the same. How to divide it? Answer: Put nine horses in a stable and put nine rings on the outside of the stable.

9. There is a cow with its head facing north. It turns right three times, then turns back three times, and then turns right again. Where does its tail turn at this time? Answer: Face the ground.

10, water snake, python or bamboo snake, which is longer? Answer: green bamboo snake

1 1. Who is the king of beasts? Answer: the director of the zoo

12, there is a flock of chickens scurrying about in the vegetable field. Whose chickens are they? Answer: hen.

13, three trees escaped, ten horses were tied, and the single bolt was not tied. How many horses are tied to each tree? Answer: one, six, three trees! Of course, there is one tied to every tree!

14, what did you kill but it was still your own blood? Answer: mosquitoes

15, a cow and a cow, guess three words. Answer: Two cows.

16, a cow and a cow, guess five words. Answer: Still two cows.

17. There are ten birds in the forest. One of them was killed by a small bullet, but the other nine did not fly away. Why? Answer: Because it is an ostrich.

18, a sheep was eating grass, and a wolf passed by, but didn't eat the sheep. Guess an animal. Answer: shrimp

19. Another wolf passed by and still didn't eat the sheep. Guess an animal. Answer: prawns

20. The sheep passed by the wolf and shouted at the wolf. The wolf still didn't eat the sheep. Guess an animal. Answer: lobster.

2 1. What is the fastest way for a cheetah to run from Beijing to Shanghai? Answer: the road on the map

22. Who will be the first to reach the finish line in the race of two meters long runway, seven inches long red crab and five inches long black crab? Answer: black crab (red crab is cooked)

23. Two dogs race. Dog A runs fast, while dog B runs slowly. Which dog sweats more when running to the finish line? Answer: Dogs don't sweat.

24. Why can frogs jump higher than trees? Answer: because trees can't jump

25. A man ate a mouthful of watermelon and then stood outside the door and vomited. Why? Hit an animal. Answer: Rabbit (spits)

26. After drinking, you stand on the side of the road and yell at the earth. Guess an animal. Answer: Rabbit.

27. Dogs let cats guess animals. Answer: Panda.

28. A cat is an animal that can't guess. Answer: White Bear

29. The dog did guess an animal. Answer: bear.

30. Puppies often don't take a bath. Why doesn't it have lice Answer: Dogs only have puppies.

3 1. What animal doesn't sleep all night? Answer: Panda, look at its dark circles.

32. Why do geese fly to the south for the winter? Answer: Because walking is too slow.

33. Monkeys can break a corn every minute. How many corns can a monkey break in the orchard in five minutes? Answer: No. There is no corn in the orchard.

34. There are ten fish in the fish tank, and one is dead. How many? Answer: Ten, a dead fish is also a fish.

35. What kind of thief can be executed immediately after being caught? Answer: squid

36. A hungry cat walked past a fat mouse. Why did the hungry old cat leave without looking at the mouse? Answer: Because it is a blind cat.

37. What kind of animal is as big as a cat and looks like a tiger? The answer is: Little Tiger.

38. You stand with a pig and guess an animal. Answer: Yes.

39. The wolf dragged away the ewe. Why does the lamb follow quietly? Answer: The lamb is in its mother's belly.

40. Animals in the Arctic have two peaks on four legs. Guess a five-word animal. Answer: the lost camel

4 1, the teacher said that earthworms can be regenerated after being cut into two parts. Xiaodong did as the teacher said, but the earthworm died. Why? Answer: Because he cut it vertically.

42. Choose a dog and beat an animal in the dog training field. Answer: cats

43. The pig ran out of the pigsty. What should I do? Hit a Taiwan Province male singer and a Hong Kong male singer. Answer: Wang Leehom, Hacken Lee

44. There are two apples on the apple tree. Now there are three little monkeys. How many apples and monkeys are there on the tree in 10 minute? Answer: There are two apples and no monkeys.

45. Chicks, puppies and kittens recite together. Which one of them will the teacher ask to recite first? Answer: Puppy (Wangwang Xianbei)

46. Why does Doraemon like to help others? Answer: lend a helping hand.

47. An ant accidentally fell off the plane and died. How did you die? Answer: I'm starving

48. A hunter went hunting in the forest. He only brought three flying knives. He firmly believes that nothing in the world can escape his three flying knives. He walked and met a gorilla who could eat people. The gorilla pounded his chest and approached him. He threw the first flying knife, but it was caught by the gorilla's left hand. He threw a second flying knife, but it was caught by the orangutan's right hand. Finally, he threw the last flying knife; Suddenly flying sand and stones, flurry, it's over! The last flying knife was actually held in the mouth by the hateful beast, and the brave hunter was desperate; The hateful orangutan barks and growls proudly; The ending is-the orangutan is dead. Why? Answer: Orangutans beat their chests and feet with both hands when they roar, killing themselves.

49: What is Garfield's favorite dog? Answer: hot dogs.

50. A male gecko and a female gecko are afraid to fall in love on the wall. The female gecko said a word, which is a reduplication. Then, with a bang, the male gecko fell to the ground and asked, What did the female gecko say? Answer: hug.

5 1, a prairie (plant) answer: plum blossom

52. Another prairie (plant) answer: wild plum blossom.

53. Here comes a flock of sheep (fruit). Answer: strawberries.

54. A pack of wolves (fruits) are coming. Answer: Yangmei.

55. A group of lions (sports stars) came. Answer: Lang Ping.

56. Two people are 50 meters apart. One of them took a dog. When people start walking, dogs start running back and forth. When he meets someone, he will run back. When he meets that man, he will run back. Repeat this until the two meet. How many meters did the dog run? Answer: 50 meters

57. An old man selling pigs drove a group of pigs to the market to sell pigs. The first man bought half the pigs, the second man bought the remaining half, and the other man bought the remaining half. At this time, the pigs have just been sold out. How many pigs did the old man sell? Answer: 7

58. There are three wolves on the mountain. The hunter killed one with a gun. How many? Answer: one

59. Why do hens have short legs? Answer: laying eggs will not break.

60. Why did the frog lose to the dog in freestyle? Answer: Because frogs can only breaststroke.

6 1, a bird, wearing a bulletproof vest, is dancing happily in a big tree. At this moment, a hunter came and killed the bird with a bang. The bullet hit the bird in the heart. Q: How to kill a bird when dancing in a bulletproof vest? Answer: I did a striptease.

62. A group of animals ran a race ... After running to the finish line ... all the other animals were panting ... Only the sheep didn't breathe (to use an idiom) A: Hold your head high (the sheep didn't breathe).

63. How many elephants should I put in the refrigerator? Answer: Three steps: open the door, install the elephant and close the door.

64. If you had a pair of wings, what would you do? Answer: Go to the hospital quickly.

65. A bear came from a distance to play an idiom. Answer: Come prepared (Bear English)

66. What is more annoying than crows? Answer: crow's mouth

67. After the princess got married, she stopped hanging mosquito nets. Why? Answer: She married the frog prince.

68. Companions are like tigers (killing animals) Answer: dinosaurs.

69. Some people say that eating fish can avoid myopia. Why? Answer: Because I have never seen a cat with glasses.

It takes an hour for a bird to fly 20 kilometers on the earth. How long does it take the bird to fly the same distance on the moon? Answer: Without air on the moon, that bird can't live on the moon.

7 1. In the zoo, the elephant has the longest nose. What is the second longest? Answer: Elephant.

72. How to make the sparrow quiet? A: Press it (mute).

73. What is smaller than bacteria? Answer: the son of bacteria

74. Who dares to stand on the tiger's head? Answer: lice

75. Is black-bone chicken more powerful or white chicken more powerful? Why? Answer: black-bone chicken, because black-bone chicken can lay white eggs, but white chicken can't lay black eggs, right?

76. Ten sheep, nine squatting in the sheepfold and one squatting in the pigsty. Answer: cadence (a sheep is squatting wrong)

77. In Walk with Me, what happened after Liang Shanbo and Zhu Yingtai became a pair of butterflies? Answer: give birth to a pile of caterpillars.

78. The city gate is on fire (guess an animal) Answer: Tropical fish.

79. Why do two tigers have to fight to the death and never give up? Answer: Because no one dares to stop this battle.

80. Under what circumstances can two tigers fit in one mountain? A: A man and a woman.

8 1. What does the elephant's left ear look like? Answer: Right ear

82. What is that there are no fish in the sea? Answer: Cihai

Kangaroos compete with monkeys in the high jump. Why did the kangaroo lose before it started jumping? Answer: Kangaroo jumped up with both feet and fouled.

84. There is a pig. In order to lose weight, he gets up and runs every morning. One day, it ran very fast. At this time, there is a tree in front of it. It saw it, too, but it hit a tree and was killed. Do you know what this is about? Answer: Because pigs can't make sharp turns.

85, a small white+a small white =? Answer: white rabbit

86. What happened when Kirin flew to the North Pole? Answer: ice cream.

87. What chicken runs fast in the world? Answer: KFC Nuggets

88. What chicken runs slowly in the world? Answer: Nicole Kidman

89. Dog bites dog (guess idiom) Answer: The teeth are staggered.

90. A man was chased by a tiger. Suddenly a big river appeared in front of him. He can't swim, but he passed. Why? Answer: I passed out

9 1. Lions and cheetahs run a 100-meter race on the grassland. If they start from the same starting point, when the lion runs to the end of 100 meters, the cheetah only runs to 90 meters. Now let the lion start from the starting point and walk back 10 meter, so who will reach the finish line first? Answer: the lion

92. Hunters can only shoot from a distance of one meter with shotguns. Why did he kill a rabbit when he was 100 meters away? Answer: The gun is 99 meters long.

93. What are the panda's two wishes? Answer: Take a color photo and get rid of dark circles.

94. Why don't good horses turn grass? Answer: Because the back is eaten up.

95. How black and white is the panda? Answer: much whiter.

96. A caterpillar crossed a river without a bridge. How can it cross it? Answer: Become a butterfly and fly there.

97. What will solidify when heated? ? Answer: eggs

98. What should you do if you have a hen that lays golden eggs? Answer: wake up and stop dreaming.

99. From a distance, animals look like cats. Answer: Tiger.

100. What's the difference between being bitten by a crocodile and being bitten by a shark? Answer: No one knows.

10 1. What's the use of egg shells? Answer: Protect egg whites and yolks.

102. A dog stopped barking after crossing a wooden bridge. Guess idioms. Answer: Never forgets anything.

103. Cows were called calves when they were young. What should rabbits and turtles be called when they were young? Answer: Son of a bitch, son of a bitch.

104. How many duck eggs are there in a dozen? Answer: it broke after a dozen times.

105, Xiaomei keeps a fierce German shepherd, but why does it never bite fat people? Answer: It only eats lean meat.

106. What became of the mermaid princess after she married the prince? Answer: pot-bellied fish

107. How can a tiger tied by a 10 meter rope eat grass 20 meters away? Answer: Tigers don't eat grass.

108. What is the biggest difference between an elephant and a flea? Answer: elephants may have fleas, but fleas will never have elephants.

109. Why do bats hang upside down? Answer: Because of its gastroptosis.

1 10, who wants to be stood up? Answer: Pigeons

1 1 1. What mice love to be clean? A: Ministry of Environmental Protection.

1 12. Why do a healthy couple give birth to offspring without eyes? Answer: Because it is an egg.

1 13. Which animal can see red, white and black? Answer: blushing zebra

1 14. Why did the tortoise suddenly "have two big heads"? Answer: Because the tortoise is thinking about this question.

1 15. What's the difference between a cat and a pig? Answer: One is a pet and the other is food.

1 16. There are three geckos crawling on the wall. Shortly after one gecko fell, the other two also fell. What happened? Answer: Because the other two applauded, they also fell down.

1 17. Are "silkworm ants" ants or silkworms? Answer: Silkworm.

1 18. Why are rabbit eyes red? Answer: The tortoise and the rabbit lost the game and cried their faces red.

1 19. What can a rabbit absolutely beat a tortoise? Answer: Sit-ups.