Thinking

-01-

The school’s summer assignment a few days ago required interviews with alumni. I planned to interview a senior whom I have admired for a long time over the phone.

After listing the questions for the interview, at noon or 12 o'clock on a working day, I called the senior's phone number.

"Hello, senior, I am Tian Yuchen, grade 16, from the Accounting Department. We currently have a summer practical assignment, and we have to interview an alumnus. Senior, do you have time for me to ask you a few questions?"

The senior seemed to be very busy. After a few simple conversations (I can’t completely remember the middle dialogue, I won’t write it down to avoid information distortion), the senior said: “I’m working, why don’t you talk in advance? Send a text message?" and hung up the phone.

When asking for help, sending a text message before calling is a sign of respect for other people's time, especially for people who are already working. In the past, the people I contacted by phone were all classmates and teachers. They were all direct contacts and I was accustomed to it. As a result, I didn't notice anything wrong when I contacted people at work directly.

I learned later during our dinner date (of course the senior chose to forgive me~) that when working, the senior does not answer the phone or receive messages unless the calls and messages are related to work. Moreover, he was dealing with a very difficult problem at the time, and he only answered the phone because of a strange call. My call just interrupted his work. Furthermore, according to the book "Self-Control", when people are in a state of high pressure for a long time (the senior is in a consulting company), the temper is easy to get bad, which made the senior a little angry at that time.

Fortunately, the person I called this time was a senior (a senior with high emotional intelligence), and his slightly impatient tone let me know that this was actually inappropriate. If you call an important leader in the future, and the reason for the call is that you have something to ask for, you can imagine the impression left on the leader.

Sometimes our unintentional and unintentional actions may cause inconvenience to others, and we are not aware when others have a bad impression of us.

-02-

There are many similar things.

Before, I didn’t know that when taking the escalator, you should stay on the right side so that people in a hurry can pass quickly on the left side. It was only when I took the escalator with a girlfriend for the first time and she reminded me that I realized how much inconvenience I had caused to others by my unintentional behavior (standing in the middle or on the left side of the elevator).

And later on, whenever I saw someone standing on the left side of the escalator, even though I knew I had been like this before, I still had some negative impressions of these people (I am changing this, for the following reasons) Speaking of).

Apply the same principle to other common "inappropriate" phenomena.

Why are there always healthy young people occupying the love seats on the subway? One reason is that they may be really selfish and uncaring, and do not want to help people with limited mobility and sacrifice the opportunity to rest; another reason is that they do not know that this position is reserved for the old, weak, sick, disabled and pregnant. They do not realize that And no one reminded them that they unintentionally caused inconvenience to others and were regarded as lacking quality.

Similarly, migrant workers from remote areas may spit everywhere, but can this behavior really be attributed to lack of quality? It's possible they didn't realize it.

In rural areas, the roads under their feet are dirt roads and gravel roads, and spitting on the ground is directly absorbed and filtered by nature. When we come to the city, the soles of our feet turn into hard concrete, and the phlegm we spit on the ground cannot penetrate into the earth.

The road that migrant workers take has become harder and easier to walk than in the countryside, but no one tells them that they can't spit and why they can't. They came to the city, but they never integrated.

-03-

Everyone’s long-term environment and experiences are different, resulting in different behaviors.

Most students who were born in Shanghai know that you have to send a text message to show respect before making a call to ask for help, and you have to keep to the right when taking escalators; I, who come from a capital city in the south, know that you have to give in when taking buses or subways. Love public seats, don't spit or throw garbage when walking on the road.

Migrant workers may not know any of the above, but:

This does not become a reason to have a negative impression of them.

There is such a sentence in "The Great Gatsby", which is very appropriate here: "Whenever you want to criticize anyone, remember that people in this world are not everyone. Everyone has the advantages you have.”

This kind of unconscious inappropriate behavior cannot be simply attributed to the level of quality, because they have no opportunity or conditions to realize the inappropriate behavior. . People with different life situations cannot be judged by uniform standards. They may behave inappropriately, but they are kind at heart.

I moved to my dormitory today. At 7 o'clock in the morning, I saw some porters downstairs riding three-wheelers and charging 20 yuan a time to help carry luggage. When I walked into the elevator of the new dormitory building, I saw a porter with silver hair and wearing faded and ripped clothes, carrying his luggage and following a classmate in.

The classmate said: "Please help me bring in the remaining things outside."

Maybe it was because he was afraid that the elevator door would close after getting out of the elevator, so the porter hurried out to get the leftovers. As he unloaded his luggage, he said, "Remember to give me the money." His voice was urgent but not threatening.

After he moved the remaining things into the elevator, a bunch of classmates poured in behind him. The aunt in the elevator said to him: "Follow him up and help him move his things."

The mover didn't complain, but I was worried for him. To be honest, if he blocked the elevator door at this time and asked his classmates to give him 20 yuan, and he could get out in time, I would never feel unhappy at all.

Maybe as soon as the elevator goes up or down, he will miss the order of 20 yuan, and he is too kind to say no.

This afternoon, at 4 o'clock, I saw him downstairs in Lingyi's dormitory, waiting for the next 20 yuan on a tricycle.

If someone causes inconvenience to me next time, I will not be angry. This only means that he needs time to adapt to the current environment. In order to avoid causing inconvenience to others next time, you should pay attention to observation and actively correct yourself when someone corrects you.

-end-