Excuse me, who has the latest humorous short messages to share?

What if the pig jumps out of the pigsty? Guess a male singer. Answer: Wang Leehom; What if You Zhu jumps out of the pigsty? Guess the name of a female singer and the answer is: Han Hong.

A bean fell. It's discouraging and frustrating. What can encourage it to stand up? The answer is "you"! Because there is something called "pigs encourage beans".

Who is Amy's mother? It's a flower because of peanuts! Who is Amy's father? It's butterflies because discs love flowers! Who is Amy's grandmother? This is a great pen! Because wonderful pen makes flowers!

You're a book, I'm a bag, you're a mouse, I'm a cat, you're wood, I'm glue, you're pork, I'm a knife, we have such a good relationship, dinner tonight is your treat!

Girls are so cute, just like Chinese cabbage in winter. Eat you every day, no exception, no exception. Everyone sees it and everyone loves it.

The new three obedience and four virtues: the wife should follow when she goes out, obey her orders and blindly follow her mistakes; The wife has to wait for makeup, remember her birthday, be willing to spend money, and endure beatings.

Excited heart, shaking hands, I propose a toast to the leader. The leader will give me a bite at will. I didn't leave until the leader drank this glass of wine, so he knew what to do next.

With 998 in his hand, he looks like a big fool. Ericsson is in hand, and it's boring to mix. With the new Samsung, I'm already crazy. Siemens in hand, no paper.

God said he could grant me a wish. I took out my globe and said I wanted world peace. He said it was too difficult. I took out your photo and said I wanted this person to look good. He said I would take another look at the globe.

You look peaceful, you look hard, you look clever, you look hard, and you look selfless.

There are many women around me, all of whom are elder sisters. Occasionally there are exceptions, and it's also a bad date. Looking around the world, where is my grass?

How satisfied I am to know you, like a sow climbing a buttonwood tree. How lucky I am to meet you, like a chicken feather growing on a duck's ass.

I want to be an emperor, but I'm afraid of verbosity; Want to be an official, afraid of many things; Want to eat, afraid to brush the pot; I really want to beat you up, but I'm afraid of getting into trouble.

Give a little sunshine and you will be brilliant, give a little flood and you will flood, give a little warmth and you will rot, give a little wine and you will make trouble, and give an eyebrow eye and you will add chaos.

A riverside and a Jiang Tao, one mountain is higher than the other. Send a message to the straw bag. The straw bag must take out his mobile phone. Take out your mobile phone and look down, and find yourself an idiot!

It's hard to love someone! It is fun to love two people! Love three people is so annoying! Love four people bullshit! Love five people to capsize! Love for six people is completely over!

The sky is gray and wild, and the hope for this year is too slim. The water is curved, the road is long, and the days without money are too long. The building is tall and busy, and I can't wait to rob the bank at once.

The laid-off male foreman did not return, holding two big axes; Shout when you meet rich people, and do it when you should.

There are many grasses in the sea. Why do you see a grass? As long as you look hard, there is always a better one than her!

I think you are cute. Lovely enough for everyone to love, flowers bloom and fall, and the coffin opens after a brief encounter!

You are a phoenix in the sky, I am a hungry wolf in the ground, you are a crow in the sky, I am an underground toad, you fly in the sky, and I drool in the ground.

Young girls are precious, young women are more expensive, and if there are rich women, they can both be thrown away.

Give you some sunshine and you will be brilliant, give you some flood and you will flood. I'll make the old lady wear a red mouth and give you some color to see see.

Eat very fat, pretend very badly, fat head, big ears, strong limbs, bring a pen, can't settle accounts, buy a computer, can't surf the Internet, sleep at night, and definitely pee on the kang.

Nothing I can do on the Internet can dispel my worries. I can chat to get rid of my troubles. Suddenly, I saw a beautiful girl waving, nodding and closing other windows. In the end, it was an old man from the north, disgusting!

If you mess with me again, I will economically block you, politically isolate you, mentally torture you, physically destroy you and abandon you in life.

Holding a lover's hand is equivalent to returning to eighteen ninety-nine; Holding the hand of a female classmate, I regret not doing it that year; Holding my aunt's hand, I found that I had held the wrong hand before.

Why is it so dark? Because cows fly in the sky, why do cows fly? Because you are blowing on the ground.

From a distance, the toilet was smoky. Looking inside, it was spectacular. I got off three times, but there was no paper in my pocket.

The exam was so focused that countless candidates stayed up all night. Cherish Qin Huang Hanwu, too timid, Tang Zong Song Zu, had to copy. A generation of Tianjiao, Genghis Khan, finally handed in a blank sheet of paper.

Perfect husband: A strong man does housework, cares about his wife like a nurse, counsels children like a doctor, at least has a wallet like an elegant gentleman, and treats himself like a missionary when listening to nagging.

Look at the green mountains and green waters from a distance, and grin at a close look! Look at the green hills from a distance, but look at freckles from a distance!

There is a tacit understanding called tacit understanding; There is a feeling that it is wonderful; There is a yearning, called longing; There is a kind of fool who will finish reading the text message.

Pay attention to your health during this week's rest, and you must strengthen your exercise during this time. Objective: Sit quietly for 2 hours below zero without abnormal reaction, and keep smiling!

You can better reflect people's shortcomings than a mirror, more knowledgeable than Zhuangzi, and more resourceful than a grandson, so everyone affectionately calls you the grandson of Jingzhuang.

Good news! Our company has American President George W. Bush for sale! Taking hegemonic ideology as the feed, as long as you feed it regularly, you can be strong and arrogant, the price is fair, and you are innocent!

The former money is now called t, the former taxi is now called honey, the former profiteer is now called broker, and the former trick is now called creativity.

Do you know what I want to do most now? Is to pull you to the bedroom, turn off the lights, close the curtains, put you on the bed, cover you with a quilt and say to you: my watch is luminous.

I want to see the sea with you, but I can't grasp the unpredictable future. I want to climb the mountain with you, but I am full of confusion about my future ideal; I wanted to go shopping with you, but the police refused. He said: Don't walk the dog!

You are very creative. It is your courage to live. Ugliness is not your intention, but God has a little temper. You have to live bravely. Without you, who can foil the beauty of the world?

You are the sun in my heart, but it is raining; You are the moon in my dream, but it is covered by clouds; You are the most beautiful flower in my heart, but it has already bloomed; You are the Chang 'e in the sky, but you landed on your face first.

I have always been by your side, and I have been worried about you again and again. Are you full today? Did you sleep well? Will it be cold late at night? I always knew you couldn't take care of yourself. Every time I walk away, you jump out of the pigsty.

Are you wronged? Are you lonely? Do you think you don't understand? Don't be sad. Even if the whole world abandons you, my door is still open for you. This is a state-owned pig farm.

The sea is full of water! Good horse, it has four legs! Chili, it's really hot! Idiot read the message, it's grinning!

Some people say that you are an ass, and I seriously criticize him: What a shame! You can't just say what people look like!

Please read the following poem aloud and seriously appreciate its artistic conception: dark stone green, dark stone powder, dark stone penetrating Chun Lv, dark stone penetrating Chun Zhu.

I'll give you a gift with the heaviest amount of feces since there was feces. You will eat a catty and be full. If you feel that the amount of feces is not enough, please help yourself!

I live like this every day: playing ball with Jordan, boxing with Tai Sen, playing chess with Wei Ping, chatting with Clinton, bombing buildings with bin Laden and sending messages to pigs.

Not every flower can represent love, but roses can; Not every tree can withstand thirst, but poplar can; Not every pig can read text messages, but you did. Congratulations!

Because of thirst, God created water; Because of darkness, God created fire; Because I need friends, God sent you to me, so God lost that bucket of rice!

Sister, sister, I love you and sing you a love song. Whether it is cold or warm, it is happy or sad. I miss you in the toilet, so send a message.

Snowflakes are floating in the cold sky, ice stubbles are hung on green trees, and beautiful shoes show your feet. You are a fool.

You are so elegant and charming. No wonder everyone says you are ... bloated!

It's not good to look at you fiercely. It's better to look at you carefully.

Enlightenment from marriage: the art of love-only the art of human body. Outstanding appearance-white fat. Cars and houses-cheap factories outside the outer ring road, second-hand Alto in the unit.

Wave when you feel happy, stamp your feet when you feel happy, and shake your head when you feel happy. Have a good time .............................................................................................................................................................................

When you were away, everyone praised you as a lover and a leftover in love.

God saw your desire and created water; God saw that you were hungry and created rice; God saw that you didn't have a lovely friend, so he created me; God found that there is no fool in this world and created you by the way.

Your chest is like a roller, your hips are like a bulldozer, your arms are like a hook machine, your figure is a beautiful flower pole, and your eyes are charming anemometers.

If you must compare with a pig, I think you are different from it in at least two aspects: 1. You can eat more than it. 2. It is smarter than you.

Mobile phone maintenance experience: 1 Always clean with distilled water. Use ice water to cool when charging. Sterilize in microwave oven regularly. 4 block the receiver to prevent dust.

Incidence of love: unrequited love depression, stuttering at the beginning of love, ADHD at the end of love, amnesia during extramarital affairs, lovelorn mania plus intermittent self-mutilation.

Internet time is too long, please pay attention to eye hygiene. Do as I say: Please turn your head 360 degrees, bite your ears with your teeth and aim your eyes 20 times.

Do you want to have good teeth? Here are three lessons for you: first, rinse your mouth after meals and brush your teeth in the morning and evening; Second, go to the hospital for a dental examination every two years; Third, mind your own business.

If you are a star, I will chase you. If you are a comet, I will wait for you. If you were a meteor, I would ignore you. But why are you an orangutan?

Recently, there was chaos in the Wulin, and it was the dragon slayer who reappeared in the Jianghu, and the blood flowed like a river. Wulin chivalrous men compete to tell each other that they want you to use your face as a shield to save all the people from fire and water!

Dude, do you know why I was scolded that day? Seeing the underlined words on the clothes on the pretty girl's chest, I couldn't help reaching out and clicking.

How painful it is to be apart. Your leaving will make me feel at a loss. I really want you to live with me, but ... Mom said, "There are no pigs at home!" " "

I miss my days in the country very much. You trotted happily in front of me, humming a tune, and everyone in the village praised you for being clean and beautiful! Also praised me: I came out to release pigs at such a young age.

The vast sky makes you fly high, beautiful stories are played by you, kind girls have to chase them, and humorous messages are sent to the little turtle!

According to the survey,' 80% of homosexuals use their thumbs to check news, and it's too late to change it!

Honey, I miss you again. My love for you is increasing sharply every day, because someone told me that "pork has gone up in price and can be sold at a good price!" " "

Let me quietly blindfold you, gently put a watermelon skin under your feet, and then watch you step on it happily.

No matter how high the sky is, how deep the sea is, how hard the steel is, how strong the wind is, how long the feet are, how wide the river is, how strong the wine is, how cold the ice is, how hot the fire is … I just want to tell you that these are none of your business!

When you walk into a deep and narrow canyon with a bow and arrow on your back, you find a wolf in front and a ghost behind. Excuse me: Do you shoot wolves or ghosts?

I dreamed of you last night: we walked by the river and snuggled together. You looked up at my eyes and spit out three words affectionately ... woof woof woof.

I am a person who has a crush on you. The first time I saw you, I decided that you were the only thrill in my life, but my only regret is that. ......................................................................................................................................

I called your mobile phone the other day, and there was a voice prompt saying: The owner is streaking, please redial later. I'll call your mobile phone later, and there is a voice prompt saying: the owner has rushed out of the service area!