What are your sad memories?

I still remember that it was also such a late autumn season. I came back from the company, walked here, and received a call from you. You asked me to have a drink tonight. I know you are always busy and rarely have free time, but whenever you have something on your mind, you always come to me to have a few drinks and talk about the sorrows and sorrows hidden in your heart. I thought you were going to be late for a long time, but I didn't expect that you came much earlier than usual. When I arrived, the table was already full of dishes. You looked up at me and gave me a bottle of Xiaolang wine. Pour a full glass. I looked at the several bottles of Xiaolang wine placed next to me and felt slightly surprised. I knew that you were not the kind of person who was addicted to alcohol. You must have encountered something big like this today. But if you think about it for a moment, you may not be able to find anyone or anything other than her who can make you drown your sorrows in drinking.

I held the cup and touched it gently with you. You drank half of the cup in one gulp. I looked at you drinking and felt a little dazed in my heart. After a while, I drank half of the cup. You took another bite of food and started eating, but I didn't have much appetite. I looked at you eating happily and waited for you to speak.

"I submitted my resignation application today, and I will leave Sichuan once it is approved." You took a piece of paper to wipe the oil stains from the corners of your mouth, and gently clinked the wine glass I had held for a long time. Another sip, and the remaining half glass of wine went into your stomach. I looked at you blankly, as if I was having a nightmare. When I came to my senses, I drank the wine in the glass. Looking at you, waiting for you to explain.

As if you didn’t intend to tell me, you opened the wine and gave each of you a glass. You showed a hearty smile and said, "Junior brother, in all these years, I have never been able to have a good drink with you. Today Let's not go home until we get drunk, okay?" You said, the smile on your face gradually became more and more serious, "Just this once, don't drink too much in the future!"

It's me this time. I drank half the glass in one gulp and asked you: "Is it because of that woman? Just for her, are you so discouraged? Are you worthy of everyone's expectations of you?"

The way you shook your head and muttered to yourself made me want to stand up and give you two slaps. How could the senior student in my mind who was once tall, capable, and good at studying look like this, "You didn't Fall in love with someone, so you don’t understand, you can’t understand the pain when you love deeply and have to choose to let go, you don’t understand!”

“I really can’t hold on! There have been too many quarrels, endless quarrels, and endless reconciliations. I am tired and don’t want to continue like this. But I’m afraid that I still can’t restrain myself from going back to find her. I have no choice but to leave and get out of here. Only by cutting off this thought of myself can I be freed. You won’t understand..." "Don’t bet all your love on one person in the future, otherwise you will be the one who will be hurt the most..." " Haha, I thought my relationship management was pretty good, but I didn’t realize that I was so incompetent in dealing with the conflicts in our relationships. I just wanted a love that would last forever from the beginning, but the reality is too cruel. Maybe you really don’t know how to love someone.”

I drank a lot that night, and I vaguely remember the last words you said were: “She doesn’t have many friends, so don’t do it because of me.” I alienated her for some reason, so you can help me by doing something!” I found out when I went to work the next day that you had already received your resignation letter, and the drink last night was the last farewell drink. When I called you, you had already boarded the train out of Sichuan. I knew that everything was irreversible. Those who want to leave will eventually leave. I can only wish you a smooth future.

A few days later, late at night, she suddenly sent me a message, asking what you said when you left. I told her the last sentence, but she didn’t say anything, she just told me something else. There was news that she was going to teach in a mountain primary school in Wenchuan for three years.

I sent her to the station and watched her get into the car. Suddenly I felt so emotional that I went to a strange place just to escape the familiar warmth of the place I was in. You obviously put each other in the most important position in your heart, but I can't figure out how you ended up like this!

When she left, autumn was deep and the leaves of the ginkgo trees had fallen off.

I called you and talked about this matter. You were silent for a long time. When I listened to the empty phone call, I felt a pain in my heart. I didn’t understand how the gap between two people who loved each other could be overcome. Don't go there.

At 14:00 on May 12, 2008, the earthquake shook me out of my summer sleep. I ran downstairs in panic. There were people talking about it everywhere. After a while, the news came that it was Wenchuan. I called up the familiar number and dialed it over and over again. The silence on the other end made my heart suddenly sink. All I could do was pray over and over in my heart, hoping that she would be safe.

A few hours after you heard the news, you asked loudly on the phone if she had changed her number and why the call couldn't be connected. I don’t know how to answer you. You know the answer better than me. After all, you still couldn’t stand the torture of waiting in your heart and decided to buy a ticket to enter Sichuan. But martial law was already in place at that time, and it was so easy to buy a ticket to Sichuan there.

I kept dialing her number every day during work breaks. I often received calls from her in my dreams, but when I woke up there was nothing. Looking at the numbers that keep refreshing every day, I can only ask people everywhere to ask for information about her, her old school, her family, and ask them every day. I will still call or send you messages every day these days to tell you the latest situation.

When you finally buy a ticket and enter Sichuan, it will be eight days later. In fact, we no longer have extravagant hopes in our hearts, but you insist on coming. Apart from adding sadness, I really can't find any reason to dissuade you. I saw you at the station, and tears suddenly fell from your tired eyes. You suddenly sat on the ground, crying so hard that tears flashed in my eyes.

You handed me the phone, and I saw the text message at a glance: "I can't hold it anymore. If I can come back alive, can you marry me."

In the bustling street, I held you, and the two of us cried wildly.

Because of the communication interruption caused by the earthquake, it was already the fifth day after the earthquake when you received it.

You have always said that if you had not left, she would not have gone back to teach, and she would not have left.

However, there are no ifs in life!