Selected ambiguous and funny short messages

1, I looked at your sexy body that day, twisted in front of me and stroked your skin. I can't resist your temptation: boss, I want this fish!

2. You are happy because I am happy, I am happy because you are happy, I am sad because you are thin, I am thin because you are sick, I smile because you are strong, and I am rich because I sold you to ............ Pig!

I was very nervous at the first time. He always let me relax gently, and then he stuck me in my body. There is blood, and the pain is speechless. Only then did I understand ... blood donation is like this!

I held you that night and asked you to put that thing on your ear. It's cool that you don't wear it. It's the safety period, there's nothing ... What should the traffic police do without a helmet?

I have a crush on you. The first time I saw you, I thought you were the most suitable person in my life, but my only regret was .............. Sorry, I sent the wrong person.

6. I was in pain when you left me silently. I don't know what to do. I hate myself when I watch your back go away. It's all my fault ... I got up early and caught the bus.

7. Do you know? I miss you every day and every night. I want to eat, sleep and work, and I really want to tell you that ............ will pay back the money soon.

8. I really love you, and I don't want to leave you. I am so deeply hurt by you. If you really don't want to upset me, please hurry up ... the stock market.

10, you are as kind as a cat, as loyal as a dog, as lovely as a bird, as well as a horse, as excellent as a butterfly, as hardworking as a bee, and you are all the same. No wonder everyone calls you the Beast of .............

1 1, the first time I saw you, I said to myself: You are my goal in this life, I want to pursue you and hug you. I want to announce: I love you ... RMB.

12, life is uncomfortable without you. I hate that hateful third party taking you away. Do you have a new relationship with him? I really want you to come back to me-wallet

13, don't ask me why I am crying, my tears flow for you and my heart is broken for you. I hate that man. Why did he take you away from me ... you thief!

14, shy, always afraid to confess to you. Today, I finally got up the courage: When will you invite me to dinner?

15, if there is no wind, the clouds will not move; Fish can't swim without water; If there is no sun, the moon will have no light; If it weren't for you ... stupid people wouldn't exist.

16, Diner: How much is a night's sleep? (How much is a bowl of jiaozi) Attendant: Rogue! (Sixty cents) Businessman: Sixty cents? Too fair. I have been here for three nights.

17, because of too many times (sometimes twice a day), your hair is all messed up, and there is no * * * *, so let's break up. ...

18, when I was down and out, you were by my side; You were by my side when I was sick and injured; When I am frustrated in love, you are still by my side ... It's really unlucky to be with you.

19, "Is it tight?" "Never mind!" "Can you go in a little more?" "Be careful, it should work!" "Does it hurt?" "It doesn't hurt! It feels so cool! I want this pair.

20. Looking at your streamlined body, I burned myself, opened your unopened seal, inserted my own stick, and sucked up your crystal liquid. Cool! Ghosts; Sprite

2 1, I thought about it. Two itchy patches. Take a stick and stick it in the middle. This stick is too short. Two diapers have stopped itching and I don't want to ... Are you addicted to smoking again?

22, late at night, a person walking in the cold street, lonely heart, helpless, always thinking about you, thinking about you, looking forward to you, really want to say loudly to you ... invite me to dinner?

23. How many times have your delicate body clung to me, and that kind of gentle and considerate caress made me enjoy a burst of * * *, but after enjoying it, you became thinner and thinner ... inferior soap.

24. I have always been by your side, and I have been worried about you again and again. Are you full today? Did you sleep well? Will it be cold late at night? I always knew you couldn't take care of yourself. Every time I walk away, you jump out of the pigsty.

25. You gently lean on me, touch my tender skin with your slender hands, and suck my body fluids with your gentle mouth until you are satisfied and float away! Oh, damn mosquitoes!

26. You flashed by, making my blood boil and my heart surge. Looking at your back, I really want to keep you. I told myself that I couldn't let you leave again, and I would never ... catch a thief!

27. A man rode a bicycle and ran into a traffic policeman at a fork in the road. The traffic police shouted to him: good palm. The man replied happily: comrades have worked hard!

28. I dreamed of you last night: we walked by the river and snuggled together. You looked up at my eyes and spit out three words affectionately ... woof woof woof.

29. The hot girl called a taxi. Miss, what will you wear in the future? Spice Girl: Red miniskirt! Recipient: Then where to go? Spice Girl: It's thighs!

I'm hungry, I can't resist your temptation. When I was in close contact with you, you gave me an indescribable feeling that the earth was spinning. I really want to have a big fight with you, but I'm afraid of getting pregnant ... dear beer.

3 1, in the vast sea of people, my heart is broken for you. You seem indifferent, but you make me feel boring. Your indifference makes me afraid to confess, but I can't extricate myself. Now I hope you understand this ... you are stepping on my foot.

32. I dreamed of you yesterday. Really, the sky is so quiet, the sun is so bright, and the sea is so boundless. You stand by the blue sea, and I will stab you with a stick. Hey, this little bastard has a hard shell.

I like crawling around on you, touching every inch of your skin and lying in your arms. I can't live without you for a moment. I love you.-sofa.

On the journey of our friendship, sometimes you can't see me by your side. It's not that I forgot you, nor that I let you go alone. But I choose to walk behind you. When you accidentally fall down, I will run up and step on it.

35. The next time I meet you, I will definitely pull you to the bedroom, lock the door, quickly push you down on the bed, cover your head with a quilt, and extend my big hand ... Look, my mobile phone is blue.

36. I have always had a soft spot for you, and your face has always appeared in front of my eyes! But I am too poor to expect, and now I have money! You can say loudly: boss, cut that pig head in half for me!

37. I've been wanting to say three words to you for a long time, but as an ordinary friend, I'm afraid I can't even do it, but I have no choice. I still want to say: borrow some money!

38.ah! Your skin is so shiny and your fragrance is so irresistible. Let me bite you hard, dear-braised pork.

39. How can I bear to see you leave? How many warm and happy times we spent together, but today we are going to break up! Looking at your sad eyes, I shouted: wait a minute, I'm not selling this dog.

40. Someone saw you today. You are still so charming. You walk slowly in a plaid vest. You look so detached. It is really cute. I don't know how you beat rabbits in those years.

5 1, we are all angels with only one wing. We came to this world to find our other half, so that we can be complete and soar. I wonder if you found it.

52, you gently fell on me, slender hands stroking my tender skin, gentle mouth sucking my body fluids, until you float away contentedly! Oh, damn mosquitoes.

53. I dreamed of you last night: we walked by the river and snuggled together. You looked up at my eyes and spit out three words affectionately ... woof woof woof.

54. Life becomes uncomfortable without you. I hate that hateful third party for taking you away. Do you have a new relationship with him? I really want you to come back to me-wallet.

55. I held you that night and told you to put that thing on your ear. It's cool that you don't wear it. It's the safety period, there's nothing ... what if the traffic police don't wear a helmet?

I really love you, and I don't want to leave you. You got me into such a deep hole that it broke my heart. If you really don't want to upset me, please hurry up ... the stock market.

57. You came to my side and brought me the fragrance like fresh air; You came to my side, like a deep ocean, and I gently rippled in the embrace of the ocean. You are like the air in the water, and I am a fish in the water.

I can't resist your temptation because I'm hungry. When I was in close contact with you, you gave me an indescribable feeling that the earth was spinning. I really want to have a big fight with you, but I'm afraid of getting pregnant ... dear beer.

Don't ask me why I am crying. I shed tears for you and my heart is broken for you. I hate that man, why did he take you away from me ... thief.

60. Looking at your streamlined body, I burned myself, opened your unopened seal, inserted my own stick, and sucked up your crystal liquid. Cool! Ghosts; Sprite

6 1, with gentle melody, looking for traces of roses, when you are by my side, you are everything; When you are not with me, everything is you.

62. You are happy because I am happy, I am happy because you are happy, I am sad because you are thin, I am thin because you are sick, I smile because you are strong, and I am rich because I sold you … pig!

63. If possible, I would like to accompany you through all the journeys in heaven, earth and underground with my whole life's feelings and love. Until there is no escape.

64. I like a life with only pure hope and only steady and slow growth. I like the colors that have been rinsed by years, the songs that I sing with my heart, and I am more willing to be a lifelong companion with this person who reads short messages.

65. Oh, when you scold me, there seems to be a lot of * * *. If you want to enjoy this feeling every day, marry me!

66. I don't have enough colors to describe your beauty, and I don't have excellent literary talent to express my affection for you, but I have a sincere heart. It beats for you, shares happiness with you and shares sorrow with you.

67. All my existence, all my possessions, all my hopes and all my love always flow to you in a deep secret.

If you can find someone who loves you more than I do, I will love you all my life. If you can't find that person, then that person who loves you is me!

69. The road comes out step by step. Love is bought bit by bit. Life is like this, page by page, really live! I cherish my life and cherish you more!

60. When words travel through time and space, they bring Valentine's Day wishes. Let every word dissolve into your heart quietly! I am silently blessing your smile, so write down my kind expectations.

7 1, you are no longer an audience, from the day I met you; I am no longer fearless. When I fall in love with you, I just want to tell you that I will never let go! Somehow, I only like you.

72. I dreamed of you yesterday. Really, the sky is so quiet, the sun is so bright, and the sea is so boundless. You stand by the blue sea, and I will stab you with a stick. Hey, this little bastard has a hard shell.

There are more important things in life, such as our meeting, such as the first time I stared at you, and the moment I fell in love with you was the most important thing in my life.

74. In the familiar crowd, I can only turn a blind eye to you, but in my heart, you are the whole field of vision. You are my biggest secret, and I can't share the sweetness and pain with others.

75. Your love is like a glass of hard liquor, which makes me ecstatic. I am willing to never wake up and indulge in my perfect world forever! Just like a cup of coffee, it is bitter and sweet.

76. Please don't waste your feelings. Maybe it's not true love, but how do you know until you try? I will let you enjoy the feeling of being loved and spoiled! ..... Would you like to be my savage girlfriend?

77. I was very nervous the first time. He always let me relax gently, and then he inserted me into my body. There is blood, and the pain is speechless. Only then did I understand ... blood donation is like this!

It is hard to forget that when I first met you, you were as cold and dazzling as the morning light. When I see you again, you are as warm and bright as the sun. Now, your arms keep me warm all my life.

79. How many times have your delicate body clung to me, and that kind of gentle and considerate caress made me enjoy a burst of * * *, but after enjoying it, you became thinner and thinner ... inferior soap.

I want to tell you that no matter what happens, I will wait for you at the original meeting place, and you are the only one in my life.

8 1, life is endless, and I love you more than that. I believe this true love will stir every corner and every inch of air in your life journey, which is better than the warmth of romantic sunshine in the moonlight. Let's meet every romantic time in life.

82. I don't like beautiful but illusory rainbows; I like you, you are so real, you are like a jumping stream, clear and bright, clear and bottomless.

83. Let the last contact between your hands be as gentle as a flower in the night.

84. Let's play a game-guessing coins. If you lose, give me one of you and be my boyfriend. If I lose, I will give you a me to be your girlfriend. It's fair to you and me.

85. Sitting alone in a lovesick chair, holding a lovesick pen, looking at the lovesick moon, thinking of you and writing a lovesick letter, every lovesick word is a lovesick tear. The sky is blue and the sea is deep. I think you are true!

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