Are there any jokes that can't be reached by phone?

Without the beauty company and the money to buy food, several buddies in the dormitory are lonely and bored. Boss Cao, the first tough guy in the dormitory, had a brainwave somewhere, saying that he wanted his brothers to show their magical powers and call the famous China Mobile Communication 1860 artificial service desk in China. No matter what means are used, swearing is not allowed, and the lady at the service desk must be amused. Whoever laughs first will invite him to dinner in partnership. I am a scholar and can't talk.

The first contest: Cao Lao Da VS3323 operator (Cao Lao Da Northeast accent)

Hello, what can I do for you? The female telephone operator speaks gentle and standard Mandarin.

Hey! Hey!

Hello!

Hello, operator? Is that my cell phone?

Yes, what business do you need to consult? sir

I said, do I have to pay for this call?

Your consulting business with us is free, and you don't have to pay any fees!

Oh, no money! That's good! I'm from the northeast and I'm doing business outside, you know?

Do you have anything to consult, sir?

Yes, of course! I want to surf the Internet! Do you think I can surf the Internet?

That depends on whether your mobile phone supports surfing the Internet!

Support is definitely support, that is, my mobile phone is expensive, 40 chords, can I sing or color screen?

What kind of internet access function does it support, WAP or GPRS?

What the hell is G (meter) P (fart) R (si) S (silk)?

There was silence. I think the operators are helpless and depressed. The brothers here are clutching their bellies and blushing with laughter.

Hey! Mr. Ober! Hey!

Sir, that's an online function. Without it, you can't surf the Internet. Not G (meter), P (fart), R (fart), S (silk), but GPRS!

Is GPR (Si) S (Ness)?

Standard English

GPR(si)s(nais)

rare

Miss r (si), don't correct me. I have been studying si since school. What features do you think I support?

I don't know, sir, because I don't know what mobile phone you are. You can go to the business hall. When you arrive there, our staff will open it for you and bring your ID card.

What! I still have to go there. Can I meet you there?

Sir, we are just the reception desk, we can't!

Then it will cost me 6 yuan money to get there. Can you tell me what I can do online first?

Turn on the internet function and you can download ringtone pictures to play games!

What? ! You can also play games!

Yes!

Can you play CS?

(The other party is silent again. It is estimated that the operator was laughing wildly, but he didn't hear the sound and failed ...)

Can't! Do you have any other business to consult?

Yes!

Go!

I just want to ask how to surf the internet!

The opponent hung up and didn't hear the laughter of the operator, so the contest ended in failure. )

The second contest: Dong Laosan VS 1 127 Operator (knowing the accent of a child)

Hello, what can I do for you?

Hello, sister!

Hello, what can I do for you?

Sister, I I want to send a text message!

What's wrong with texting?

I won't send it!

You can ask your parents to teach you how to do your hair!

No, I want my sister to deliver it for me! I sent it to the girls in the next class. My parents can't know, and my sister can't tell them!

(The other person is silent and thinks he is laughing. )

Sister, are you ignoring me?

Son, we can't help you, because we are just consulting business!

Then you can't teach me!

Do you know Pinyin?

Yesterday, I just learned AOE in our big class ... I can understand it, sister. I can read it all.

There was another silence, then the other side hung up and the second game continued to end in failure.

The third contest: Wei Laoba VS 102 1 operator (Wei Laoba just picked up a male operator and hung up, then dialed 102 1, and the last woman spoke. Old Bayi speaks pure Hebei local dialect, but never speaks Mandarin)

Hello, what can I do for you?

Hello, how are you? Do you understand what I mean?

Sir, you can do it!

The one who just said can't understand me!

Not bad now. What business do you need to consult?

Are these four (yes) standard word?

I can hear you clearly, sir (the operator smiles and catches his breath). Could you please tell me the business you want to consult?

Can you abbreviate (say) four (yes) standard word? I listened to Zhou (this) and stopped! I just want to ask you four questions. This short message package is (how) to reply to four questions!

SMS package is a monthly SMS service after you handle it!

No, four. Give me a bag.

Don't! (Operator exhales with a smile) No!

Oh, why don't you give me a backpack?

Don't!

They shrink (say) the SMS package and send a message to a package!

Don't!

I thought about giving it a bag. I will have a holiday soon. I don't have enough bags. I thought about giving it a bag!

Don't!

It touches (how to) a monthly subscription method!

What about this? You need to deal with it. It doesn't matter if you don't handle it. It's not for school bags!

Oh, no, four!

Do you have any other business to consult?

Yes, my four-dynamic site card and my chassis listen to me. Can I surf the Internet?

That depends on your mobile phone support! Is there GPRS function?

I don't know!

Then read your mobile phone manual!

I didn't, didn't shorten (say) my name Sue (book)! My four (yes) four-handed mobile phone is used to buy old places.

Then you can go to our business hall and bring the owner's ID card!

Oh, I have to go there again, damn it! It's far away from me, I can't go to my four villages! Do you need money to surf the Internet on Thursday?

Opening this service is free of charge. You can collect traffic by downloading the content, 1KB3 cents!

KB four, what the hell?

This is a noun, which represents how much you downloaded!

Oh, I don't know yet! Then I'd better not open it!

It doesn't matter! Do you have any business to consult?

Yes, this mobile phone card is four things. Is there a mobile phone or a land card first?

(The other party skillfully taps the keyboard and gives out helpless laughter. )

This problem is not within the scope of our service!

Oh, not Fan Weizi! Then they told me that my mobile phone has Bluetooth four (four) touch (how) to reply four (things)?

Bluetooth is a function of your mobile phone itself, which can transmit information!

Oh, to be clear, do you have green teeth?

Oh, no, sir. If you have nothing else, please hang up. We only allow 10 minutes to talk. It's 9 minutes 18 seconds. If you don't understand, please continue to call later!

Oh, that's very kind of you, miss. Goodbye! Your smile is so sweet! (Hang up)

(With great effort, I finally laughed ...)

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In addition, this is also widely circulated on the Internet ... The following is the video viewing address:

/watch/366436.html

Responder: Crayon Xiao Yi o-Assistant Level 3 7-26 00:27.

& ltb> Mobile User: Hello, I want to ask a question.

Attendant: Be my guest.

Mobile user: I have a card, which was eaten by my cat. Can I use it if I take it out? br & gt

Attendant: Then you can only try plugging in your mobile phone. If not, you can only change your card in the mobile business hall. < br & gt

Mobile user: No, you have to tell me in advance whether I can use it or not. If I can, I will kill my cat and get the card. If I can't use it, I will waste my cat, right?

Attendant: Hello, in that case, I suggest you don't kill yourself. Then you can take your ID card to the mobile business hall and get a replacement card.

Mobile user: The problem is that my card is

Mobile user: 50, bought by my cat 30 yuan < br>.

Attendant: But if you want a replacement card, you need 40 yuan.

Mobile users: reissue cards? & ltbr & gt

Attendant: Yes, the number remains the same.

Mobile users: the number remains the same.

Attendant: Just go to the mobile business hall to get your ID card and fill in the original number. If you change another card, that card won't work. < br & gt

Mobile user: Do you think my cat will have any adverse reactions? br & gt

Attendant: Hello, I'm not sure about this. Then you need to take the cat to the doctor. br & gt

Mobile users: Then ask your colleagues.

Attendant: Hello, I'm sorry, you dialed the mobile phone service information desk, and the phone number is 1860. As for the cat, we can't help you deal with it here.

Mobile user: My cat, his name is M-Zone.

Attendant: Yes, that won't do either.

Mobile users: Why not? I named the M-Zone.

Attendant: Even if his name is Jay Chou, I can't help you with it. You can only take a look for yourself. Then there is something wrong with your card. Our mobile business office and 1860 can help you solve it. Of course we can't help you solve the cat problem. < br & gt

Mobile user: Question: He is a mobile card.

Attendant: (takes a deep breath) Hello, sir. Do you think this makes sense? & ltbr & gt

Mobile user: No, I just want to know what you mean.

Attendant: Nothing. Hello, I didn't mean anything. Do you think you mean anything? Then you can tell me the details of this cat ... < br>

Mobile users: No, no, don't worry, speak slowly.

Attendant: You said this cat ... < br>

Mobile users: Drink water when you are tired.

Attendant: Hello, first of all, what is your cat? We can't handle this for you.

Mobile user: I know you can't handle it. I am asking you to give me some advice. So what should I do? < br & gt

Attendant: Hello, I suggest that you apply for a replacement card in the mobile business hall with your ID card now. < br & gt

Mobile users: Then consider the cat's < br>

Attendant: Cats can't help it, so I just ... < br>

Mobile users: there is no way, life, that is a.

Attendant: Hello, then I can't help you. Then take it to a pet hospital or something, which you will deal with in the future. < br & gt

Mobile user: Then why don't you tell me Jay Chou's phone number and I'll call him?

Attendant: Hello, do you have his phone number 1860? & ltbr & gt

Mobile users: Aren't you partners? & ltbr & gt

Attendant: But we don't have his phone number here either. br & gt

Mobile users: There must be.

Attendant: Hello, sorry, no.

Mobile users: deceptive. It is a lie that you are with such a beautiful girl.

Attendant: Do you have any other business to consult? & ltbr & gt

Mobile users: Yes.

Attendant: Be my guest.

Mobile user: What about my cat? br & gt

Attendant: Hello, sir, if you ask me this question repeatedly, I can't answer your question.

Mobile users: I won't repeat it. Where's my card?

Attendant: Just go to the mobile business hall and get a replacement card.

Mobile user: Take the cat away and let him dissect it for me. Take out the card

Attendant: (takes a deep breath).

Mobile users: Really? & ltbr & gt

Attendant: Hello, do you think this is possible? Will the staff in the mobile business hall help you with this? & ltbr & gt

Mobile users: What do you say? I am in a hurry now. First of all, I don't need this card. Second, I am afraid that the cat will choke to death. What did you say?/Sorry? I have my hands full right now.

Attendant: Hello, if so, please take ... < br>

Mobile users: Don't always "hello, hello", just "hello". I'm sorry to hear the news. br & gt

Attendant: We can't do this to show our respect. br & gt

Mobile user: You don't have to respect me. I'm a rotten person, so there's nothing to say. br & gt

Attendant: There is no other way. If you have no other questions, please hang up.

Mobile user: still ... still ... still let me hang up. What kind of service attitude do you have? br & gt

Attendant: Hello, this is what I should say here. I must have told you.

Mobile users: I tell you, it's all your responsibility. Who made your card so beautiful that the cat had to eat it? br & gt

Attendant: Well, you didn't keep it well. Then you can take care of your cat. So if it eats something else, can we all handle it? & ltbr & gt

Mobile users: Nothing else is as good as that card. You know, it's all your fault that your card looks so good. br & gt

Attendant: Then you can make it look bad.

Mobile user: Hey, what, cut it with scissors? & ltbr & gt

Attendant: Hello, sir. I wish you wouldn't talk to me about such things again, okay? & ltbr & gt

Mobile user: What are you talking about? I'll talk about this problem now, and I won't talk about other problems with you, will I? The problem now is that your card is so beautiful that my cat took a fancy to it and accidentally ate it. < br & gt

Attendant: So where are you going? That means where are you going.