When asking someone to do something, is it more important to have a relationship or to give a gift? Tell me about your experience?

Before 2021, both relationships and gift-giving are important, and gift-giving can even be higher than relationships. But after 2012, relationships are definitely more important. Because even if you have money, if you give gifts, do you think others will dare to ask for them? Is it okay if you want your tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands of dollars to be doubled again? I have seen too many examples of this in the system, which has led to people in the system not wanting to do things or accepting gifts, yet they still end up in peace and have a peaceful life.

A few years ago, I had a fellow deputy mayor who worked in the system here in Qingdao. A boss wanted a piece of land for construction, so he went directly to me, a fellow villager, hoping to help. My fellow countryman didn't think much about it. Based on his original intention of serving the people, he did his best to handle it. The matter was done very successfully, and more than ten acres of construction land were obtained. In order to express his gratitude, the boss directly gave me a gift of 50,000 yuan. My fellow countryman actually accepted it. Later, because of the boss's other affairs, my fellow villager was involved, and the boss gave up all of them. Finally, the incident came to light, and my fellow villager was directly raped. My fellow countryman actually got double-deducted for a mere 50,000 yuan. It’s so sad to think about it!

A few years ago, I met a top leader in the town. When I first arrived, I met a battlefield owner. The boss of this battlefield is very bad and likes to set traps. When he gave the top leader 100,000 yuan, he actually had a voice recorder in his pocket. Just like that, under the guidance of the battlefield boss, the town leader said everything he should say and shouldn't! After he came out, the boss of the battlefield went to report the leader the next day, and he was shot twice. He eventually died of depression.

In the past two years, I have known a deputy director of a certain bureau. The company asked him if he could get back the lack of incentive and subsidy funds, and he agreed. 2.4 million in bonus and subsidy funds were recovered for the enterprise. Although these should have been given to the enterprise, they could not have been obtained without the coordination of the deputy director. The company also thanked the deputy director at that time and gave him 400,000 yuan. Unexpectedly, in less than half a year, the company reported the deputy director, and ended up with a double-opening.

Finally, let’s talk about me. My relative's child graduated from a junior college and has been unable to find a good job, so he asked me to find one, preferably in a state-owned enterprise, and promised to give me 100,000 yuan. I chuckled and thought to myself: Do you think if I give this 100,000 yuan to the chairman, he will dare to ask for it? If you don’t have an acquaintance or middleman to introduce you, who dares to ask for it? If someone takes 100,000 yuan from you and you report it or talk about it everywhere, will they worry? In order not to take this risk, they just don’t do it! Besides, is 100,000 yuan a lot for the chairman? Not much at all, not worth it!

To sum up, when asking for help nowadays, relationships are definitely more important! Things are different now. In the past, it was enough to have money, but what about now? Without introductions from acquaintances or intermediaries, it would be difficult to get things done.

Finally, I would like to talk about the process of asking for help: first find someone to invite the middleman out for a meal and play the relationship card, and then ask the middleman to find the person you want to work with. It is best to be led by a middleman. I'll let you go and express your intention. As for how thin or thick it is, you can weigh it yourself based on the size of the work to be done. After things are done, you must thank them again, or treat them to dinner or express your gratitude again.

To be honest, it’s quite tiring to ask for help. It's okay if you can find connections if you have money, but if you have money, you won't be able to find connections, and rich people won't help you. How many people in society are carrying a pig around looking for someone to get you, but they can't get it!

Fate is very important, and if the fate is sufficient, it will be successful.

Nowadays, when asking for help, you still need to give gifts based on your relationship. You are so out of date. If you can handle things now, he must do it for you right away, and you must do it well; if you can't handle it, you must be sincere, and the policies must be explained in place. As long as you don't like him, you can complain to him. Whether it works or not is another matter. At least give him a break first. Despite him, he was still angry. So when I'm doing things now, and then looking for connections with acquaintances, I'm asking for trouble. I'm just taking advantage of the acquaintances, and I still can't say some slightly inappropriate things. I always call directly to ask first, and my attitude is always good. Of course, if you want to be opportunistic and take advantage of policy loopholes, then we don’t understand it and have never done it.

Asking for help from others, I feel that giving gifts is more important. It’s not that ‘you can travel all over the world with politeness, but you can’t move forward without being polite’. It’s true what I said, no one from the past will be deceived! If you have a relationship, you can give less gifts, but you can't give no gifts. It doesn’t matter, give more gifts and move around frequently. China is a humane society, which values ??reciprocity and reciprocity. It is considered disrespectful to avoid reciprocity.

When asking for help, relationships come first. Without relationships, gifts will not come in.

Don’t be reluctant to ask for help when you can spend some money. It is much easier than using any connections [呲呲]

Unless it is immediate family members.

When asking people to do things, Guan Shi is important, but giving gifts is also important, because Guan Shi is established by giving gifts in daily life.