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Can extramarital lovers still be friends after breaking up?
I often hear my brothers ask their teachers, "Teacher, I have done everything I should. I have sincerely expressed my apologies, saying that I will definitely change, telling her that I will cherish her twice in the future, but she just doesn't believe in herself, is unwilling to help me seize the opportunity, or is very persistent in breaking up with me. What should I do? " What the teacher wants to tell you is: in the case of retaining, maybe you only emphasize your own experience. For you, your retention is to save her as much as possible and reduce our differences. However, from her point of view, everyone has broken up and still has to bear your pressure. She has to choose to reject you and get worse step by step.
Because after breaking up, you want to get rid of her idea of breaking up and save this relationship; For her, she is trying to get out of this relationship. If at this moment, all you do is desperately deny breaking up and refuse her to get rid of this emotional behavior, of course, it is not easy to gain her approval, causing her work pressure, causing her resistance and dissatisfaction, and even adding you to the blacklist immediately. Therefore, judging your girlfriend's breakup will test you. Please stop all tangled personal behaviors after breaking up!
However, the breakup has already become a fact, and she is extremely rejected. Then simply listen to her feelings and immediately agree to her breakup rules. Naturally, this is only a temporary countermeasure, playing hard to get, not always leaving. I just want to give you a chance to accept and tolerate you again in order to make a better connection from rejection to remission, and then from remission to wanting to hear your speech. Below, we will tell you how to understand a woman's feelings step by step according to a simple example, and skillfully use the retention method and chat topics to save feelings.
First, the example of students
Can extramarital lovers still be friends after breaking up? My name is Xiao Zhi, and I am 28 years old in 2020. I'm a bank clerk, and I met her quietly through social software. Think of the first time together, we have the same interests, the three views fit together, and occasionally there is a little friction, which is also sweeter than bitter. But after only half a year together, I also feel that there is something wrong with my feelings, and she has gradually alienated me. Silent anomalies make me even more uneasy. I also want to communicate with her, but her mentality makes me really helpless. She ignored me, because I didn't want to ignore her, so everyone gradually became cold and violent.
After a period of cold violence, I found her and turned a blind eye. In order to make her happy, I bought her a brand bag of several thousand yuan on Tanabata, and I even tried my best to maintain the relationship with her relatives and friends. However, our relationship is getting better and better. Her basin friend advised me to have a better attitude towards one thing and keep a straight face. She secretly thought that I got rid of other people's intercession and lost my temper with me. I used to plead, but I only complained occasionally. After so many years of feud, we had a fierce debate several times, and finally broke up quietly and clearly. I was very angry at that time, and then I scolded her on the phone, but only after I became sensible did I realize that I couldn't keep this fragmented feeling without her.
Second, the analysis of students' problems
According to Xiao Zhi's emotional situation, this paper analyzes several problems that led to their breakup:
1, the emotional instability is serious, the desire for control is too strong, and it lacks the use value of men.
Don't be too dependent on communication. On the one hand, it will give the other party work pressure and endanger communication comfort. On the other hand, it also shows the lack of self-use value, exposure and self-confidence, as well as the decline of male elegance. After a difficult communication, it is normal to feel uneasy, but if you want to push each other through manipulation, you will definitely lose more than you gain. As you can see in this example, after every conflict, students are not good at solving difficulties, but just blindly prevent conflicts and even idle problems of cold violence. In fact, students have a lot of negative emotions about the overall goal, and only choose the backlog of inventory, which greatly reduces their control. In the middle and late stage, their emotions are out of control and they continue to quarrel, which is even more unacceptable and leads to the breakup.
If you don't understand women's emotions, you can't keep them cold for a long time.
After the mystery, the feelings will be flat and the differences will be highlighted. If we don't pay attention to our own construction, our style of work will be reduced and there will be subtle changes between us. The stimulation of chemical substances can only produce temporary excitement and cannot make up for the lack of psychological needs. If she keeps saying that she doesn't know her, it means that her psychological needs have been met.
3. Low-structured communication, unbalanced emotional investment and incorrect reservation.
Quietly, I have long been used to students' input, and I feel normal, even taken for granted. However, in the communication, middle school students have the correct guidance to women's investment, resulting in the feeling that the other party's cost of breaking up is too low and they will pull out. When the other party clearly proposes to break up, the students mainly show obvious unwillingness, loss of reason, reprimanding and pestering the other party, incorrect retention and tension.
Third, the whole process retention analysis.
1, the period of intensification of contradictions, moderate breakup, and enhanced attraction.
After breaking up, the entanglement has produced rejection, and the connection has entered the opposite side, which cannot produce effective communication. Don't be stubborn, break up quickly and completely fade out of each other's field of vision, so as to ease contact and prevent differences from worsening. Some defectors from Assassin's Creed are worried that the other party will really break up with them or have new feelings. Complaining directly is caused by negative emotions after breaking up. You need to understand that a moderate breakup is an abnormal behavior, but it can attract the attention of the other party and bring a certain sense of loss to the other party.
Make full use of students' break time to guide their study and training. If you are serious, grasp this fast learning method, fully grasp the emotions of women, master the communication skills of boys and girls, and change the status quo, you can make the retained practical operation, even the communication in the middle and late stages, gain a firm foothold. It is essential to keep the brand image updated in the early stage. On the one hand, it enhances self-confidence, on the other hand, it brings new visual effects to the other party, laying the foundation for the infrastructure construction and invitation to meet in the middle and late WeChat circle of friends.
2. Relevance mitigation period, approaching Germany again, dealing with key issues and changing the relationship between people.
There is no need to be self-centered in retaining. If you don't understand empathy, your desire for control and emotional instability will be exposed anytime and anywhere. This example only needs a week of cold violence. According to the situation of the other party's WeChat circle of friends, the teacher analyzed the opportunity to reach Avengers Alliance 4, assisted Xiao Zhi to write the composite information content and sent it to the other party (the mobile phone WeChat has already been added back), recognized the breakup relationship, and used hard words to alleviate the rejection. Put an end to the previous entanglement, and the overall goal mentality has entered a period of relief.
Brothers, remember that only if you have your own use value and life will a woman think you are elegant and worthy of her love. "The first choice is second best", the more you show concern for her, the more she has to, the more she ignores you and gives you the cold shoulder. On the other hand, everyone creates interactive communication and contact with low requirements, which makes her feel that you are no longer willing to manipulate each other, but it is very easy to arouse her curiosity. If you want to take the initiative to ask you out. Therefore, in view of the overall target psychological state, we have formulated a set of steps for Xiao Zhi to attract WeChat friends.
3, related to the rising period, focusing on secondary attraction to achieve recombination.
To achieve the second attraction, we must first look back at the previous attraction, that is, your eternal and timeless style, and be the truest self. You don't have to change completely according to women's rules, and you don't have to try to make yourself the person the other person wants to be. That's not you, and in most cases, you can't do it. Constantly improve self-use value (with your own preferences, interpersonal communication, work, etc. ), correct your attitude in love (independence and self-confidence), and gain the attention and recognition of the other party. In the whole process of secondary attraction, we should moderately distance ourselves from her. Most breakup problems are not the disappearance of feelings, but the decline of mystery. Long-term relationship allows you to maintain your attraction and rebuild your mystery reasonably, which is also a great way of long-term communication.
On the sixth day of Xiao Zhi WeChat circle of friends, we quietly praised it. Let's seize this "reserved dialog box" to chat, add some spit and attention, and solve the previous embarrassment and differences. According to the WeChat chat record, the teacher can tell that the degree of attraction is qualified, and can set aside the "heart anchor" to correctly guide the other party to achieve the compound type. Students ask for help from each other on the pretext of stomachache (I quietly know that Xiao Zhi has gastrointestinal problems, and recently students really have stomachache, which is just _ particularly serious), so everyone designs a plan and students contact each other by phone.
How much of the method of electricity _ is because male girlfriends broke up? It can mean that things can't wait, and the tone is more conducive to the display of sensitive aspects. This design scheme of calling only implies that there are provisions for the other party to take care of themselves. It is also important to control the key points. The overall goal worked, and I did come back to deal with it. I stayed with Xiao Zhi for several hours and cooked a bowl of fried noodles for Xiao Zhi. That night, the two untied the knot and exchanged ideas. First, Xiao Zhi sincerely treats his own problems and understanding, and emotionally admits his own problems without considering Xiao Zhi's experience. He expects that he will never relax each other again this time, and the two embrace each other affectionately.
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