Funny version of the host speech of the party

Chapter 1:

Hello everyone!

I'm a member of the Central Ballet. (The blogger laughs at himself.) I heard someone laughing in the audience. Are you a ballet dancer? You really have a good eye. I used to be a cook in the Central Ballet, but now I'm practicing sumo. (Laughter) Although I am not very artistic, what I want to tell you is that I was born in a musical family, and our brothers are all artists. My brother has four people: my eldest brother is Li Shuanghai, my second brother is Li Shuangjiang, and my third brother is Li Shuanghe. I am the youngest, and my name is Li Shuanggou. (Laughter) My mother didn't give me a good name, so I often went to the ditch to sing. (Laughter)

Recently, my second brother, Li Shuangjiang, found me an agent and was preparing to package me. My agent is sitting in the audience, and he is also the familiar leader of Zhao Ruirui. Some time ago, he specially took me to Britain to sign a contract, and I will sing the theme song of the next Olympic Games. Like Domingo and Song Zu Ying, my partner is the sister of Diana, the late former British princess, named Kangaroo. Ruirui's leader is not only an excellent leader, but also an excellent entertainment agent. In order to keep pace with Diana's sister Kangaroo's name, the leader specially gave me a stage name called Fat Bear. (Laughter)

There are so many friends and guests here today, and it's my good friend's restaurant opening. I'm going to sing the theme song of the next Olympic Games here in advance, so please do a good job of confidentiality, and please cooperate with friends at the scene: no audio recording, no video recording, please turn off your mobile phones and take the batteries to the table. The theme song of the next Olympic Games will be sung in the languages of the five permanent members of the Security Council. Because all the people sitting here are Chinese, I will sing for you in Chinese. In fact, the worst thing I sing is Chinese, and you can feel it before I speak Mandarin fluently. If I can sing well, please applaud to show encouragement; If you think I'm calling everyone, please clap your hands, too. Anyway, I get excited when I hear applause.

Music, Li Shuangjiang's "Red Star Follow Me to Fight".

m: the house price has turned the corner, the stock market is at a low ebb, and the management of Class 972 is still firm!

female: Saddam Hussein was twisted, Gaddafi was pushed down, and Class 972 was still intact!

M: Today, we are here to welcome the reunion of Class 972 after graduation for 1 years. This is a grand gathering that attracts worldwide attention. It is a gluttonous feast that connects the past with the future.

female: here, we would like to express our heartfelt thanks to the male students who have devoted themselves to this party and stayed up at night!

m: I would like to offer my heartfelt wishes to the female students who forgot to do laundry and cook for this party, and forgot their husbands and children.

together: I wish you every year today, every year has today, the Yangtze River is rolling eastward, and your wealth is soaring!

M: This get-together is exclusively sponsored by Sanlu milk powder. At the same time, we have received strong support from many manufacturers of Sudan red, poisonous leek and plasticizer. Here, I would like to express my gratitude!

female: yes, in order to get together again for the tenth anniversary of the graduation of Class 972, our students in Beijing, who are in dire straits, actively prepared and listened to their opinions and suggestions, and finally achieved the exciting moment when all the students in Class 972 got together today! Let's welcome Mr. Pan, our old monitor in charge of Class 972, to give a speech. Let's applaud!

Chapter 2:

Male: CCTV

Female: Wulanchabu TV Station, Inner Mongolia

Male: Folks at the scene and in front of the TV

Together: Good morning, everyone

Female: What you are watching now is the 2 broadcast simultaneously by CCTV Integrated Channel, Chinese International Channel, Yimeng International Channel and Umongol International Channel.

M: In addition, CCTV also joined more than 1 websites in China, such as China Lily, Marriage, Sohu, Turkey, Pork Bone Stewed Sauerkraut and Yam Dan, as well as sponsors such as tanning beauty club, tired overtime company, and information crushing enterprise, to simultaneously broadcast our party of eating, drinking and having fun to the Chinese in the village.

Female: On this cloudy and windy morning, I wish all the audience friends at the scene

Male: I wish my compatriots in Gonggou Special Administrative Region, Rose Camp Special Administrative Region and Bayin Special Administrative Region

Female: I wish my compatriots who want to get on the road as soon as possible, overseas Chinese outside the village, and ordinary compatriots in Jining City-good health

Male. I can't hit it!

female: hello, I'm a charming male host-sunshine.

male: I'm a charming female host-Chen Fang. Ok, dear fellow villagers, this year, we can watch the get-together of eating, drinking and having fun by mobile phone, and the way is very simple. You just need to turn on the camera of your mobile phone and face us, or edit the short message "I love sunshine" on your mobile phone and send it to 186 to get 2 cents. If 186 cannot be cashed in time, please take the initiative to collect it from Mr. Liu Kunyang, the sponsor of this get-together. We will send joy and blessings to everyone, please release your blood in this morning when mosquitoes are flying all over the sky!

W: With the opening of the beer and skittles party, the "Selection of my favorite beer and skittles show in reinforced concrete cups" organized by Gonggou TV Station has also begun. First of all, I want to tell you that you only need to send your favorite program name or actor name to 521314!

m: remember, it's 521314.

Female: Audience friends who send SMS messages have the chance to win our lucky audience award. The prize is a kiss provided by Ms. Tian Ruifang, the organizer of the event. You are welcome to participate in the voting.

M: Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to come here. I hereby wish all the boys and girls present

female: boys and girls

a happy life! Drink it! Have fun!

W: Let's have today's get-together without rules, discipline, leadership and discipline with excitement!

Chapter 3:

A dead vine and an old tree crow, a small bridge and a flowing family, an ancient road and a thin horse, heartbroken people are in the end of the world. (heavy, emotional reading) (pause for 3 seconds. ) Dear children's shoes, (here is a sudden turn, cheerful, SHOW off in an ostentatious manner) Here is the annual large-scale show party of "International JCWY Group" sponsored by Yuetai Lizhen TV Station, co-organized by Xiguan Main Street TV Station and hosted by CCTV-China Good Voice. I am Xiao Pang, the host, and I am Chen Chen, the host. This large-scale party was broadcast under the title of Jiaduobao herbal tea. I was afraid of getting angry. I used to drink Wang Laoji, but now I drink Jiaduobao. Children's shoes can log on to Tencent Weibo, Sina Weibo and Netease Weibo to express your support for this activity. Weibo users can edit # Good Voice # and add what you want to say, so you can participate in our interaction. This evening, three guests who actively participate in Weibo's interaction will be selected, and we will send out our mysterious prize. The prize is exclusively provided by Miss Gou Yanjiao, and the children are innocent. This evening, we would like to thank Mr. Chao Xinfeng, a special correspondent of China Yuetai Lizhen TV Station, for providing us with full-time video and follow-up reports. Thank you very much for your arrival, because of your arrival, this place is full of splendor, because of your arrival, it is radiant, and because of your arrival, it will become a pigsty. The party will be divided into two parts, Sing AND Show. Children's papers will not only show their voices, but also show their dancing. Ladies AND gentlemen, boys and girls: Use our songs to strengthen their ears, and use our dance to blind their eyes (read by both hosts). Let's shake and shake together. (The two hosts will sing this sentence together) China is good at herbal tea, and China is good at singing now! Please remember our slogan tonight: Nobody shall sleep.