Humorous and eloquent classic quotations

Quotations refer to a record of a person’s speech, generally used in formal style, usually to illustrate the sentences and language features that someone said during a period of time. Below are the classic quotations about humor and eloquence that I have collected for you (selected 155 sentences). You are welcome to read them. I hope you will like them. Humorous and Eloquent Classic Quotations Part 1

01. You should always be grateful to all the sentient beings who have given you adversity.

02. You are calm because you are not afraid of death. I am calmer than you because I am not afraid of your death.

03. Forgive me! I know I was wrong. If you can't forgive me, then keep calling me and scolding me! I am willing to be scolded by you until I grow old!

04. I not only have a car, but also a bicycle...

05. I firmly believe that there will be a man who came to this world to be tortured by me.

06. I wore a cotton-padded jacket because it was cold; I held an umbrella because it was raining; I texted you because I was wrong. Can you forgive me?

07. Use the blues spirit of hip-hop to live an erhu-like life.

08. A Dutch travel agency published an advertisement: "Please fly to the North Pole for your honeymoon! The local night is 24 hours long."

09. Celebrities will become more famous if they take off a little more. , I took off all my clothes but was arrested!

10. People who are not blessed enough will often hear right and wrong; people who are blessed enough will never hear right and wrong.

11. This wind is so obscene, it kissed me all over my mouth.

12. Young people should replace our elderly. Youth should carry our flag to the end of victory.

13. Don’t compare or be jealous. As long as we do our best, shine brightly, and have a clear conscience, even though there is still room for improvement in our situation and we have the confidence to improve it, we will feel content. Learn to be humorous and laugh at yourself.

14. Life cannot be like cooking, where you have to prepare all the ingredients before cooking!

15. Human desire is like a kite. It must be flown but also controlled.

16. The reasons why a woman is willing to pay the bill: 1. She is his wife; 2. She just received an expensive gift from a man, so her conscience found out and she took profits; 3. He is her She wants to show off to him that she lives a better life than he does; 4. This man wants to pursue her, and she wants to frustrate his self-esteem; 5. If a man and a woman are fighting to pay bills, they cannot be lovers.

17. Flowers don’t always bloom, and youth doesn’t always last. Fall in love while you are still young.

18. New book advertisement: The author of this book is a millionaire and unmarried, and the object of his desire is the heroine described in this novel!

19. Trust is like a delicate snowflake, never play with it with your hands.

20. It’s not my fault that I eat secretly, it’s the loneliness of my mouth.

21. I don’t know how long the shooting stars can fly, whether it’s worth pursuing; I don’t know how long the cherry blossoms can bloom, whether it’s worth the wait; but I know that our feelings can be as beautiful as fireworks, like stars As eternal as it is, it is worth keeping in my life

22. Arrogant people can be saved, but people with low self-esteem cannot be saved.

23. The physical education teacher in junior high school said: Whoever dares to wear a skirt in my class again will be punished by making her stand on her head.

24. Don’t blame the dog for following you if you look like a bun!

25. Half of my life is unlucky, and the other half is dealing with unlucky things.

26. The reason why I am noble is because you are kneeling below!

27. Bajie asked Wukong to introduce his girlfriend. Wukong said: If God can give you another chance, you will say three words to that girl. Bajie: I love to eat!

28. If you say good night to me, I will visit your parents the next morning.

29. Friends support each other and pack each other's baskets.

30. Boss: Friends are meant to be used; brothers are meant to be betrayed; boss, that’s how I got around.

31. Format yourself just to delete you.

32. I don’t want to know that you are sick, so don’t make it so obvious.

33. On the road of love, I always stop and go. My mother said that my legs and feet are not good.

34. Even if you want to cry again, you must smile and say: Your uncle!

35. On Qingming Festival, buy flowers to commemorate the dead love.

36. I have passed by a person countless times. My clothes were all torn and there were no sparks.

37. Don’t argue with a fool, otherwise others will not be able to figure out who the fool is.

38. It doesn’t matter if your head is empty, the key is not to get wet.

39. Protect yourself, love others, and please don’t come out in the middle of the night to scare people.

40. Knowing that you are not doing well makes me feel at ease...

41. The person riding the white horse may not be a prince, he may be Tang Monk.

42. The one with wings is not necessarily an angel, he may be a birdman.

43. Wear other people’s shoes, walk your own path, and let them find it.

44. I am not a casual person. I am not a casual person.

45. There is no such thing as decency in women, decency is because they are not tempted enough. Men don't care about loyalty. They are loyal because the stakes for betrayal are too low.

46. Smart women deal with men, and stupid women deal with women.

47. Don’t stay up late often, you know? I can’t afford to raise a national treasure.

48. If the water is extremely clear, there will be no fish; if the people are extremely humble, they will be invincible.

49. The minimum goal of college students: farmers (farmer women), mountain springs, and some fields.

50. Go your own way and let others take a taxi.

51. Don’t be obsessed with your brother, your sister-in-law will beat you.

52. The mood of going to work is heavier than visiting the grave.

53. Don’t say I’m arrogant, it’s just that I refuse to deal with animals!

54. It is said that women are like clothes, and sisters are brands that you cannot afford.

55. Brother, don’t be lonely. Because I am lonely with my brother.

56. My sister never speaks human words, what she always talks about is myths.

57. The good and the worst create history, while the mediocre breed the race.

58. Only mother is good in the world, and father is also good.

59. When you don’t take it seriously, everything will get better.

60. Before I had a chance to touch the flowers, I was plucked out.

61. You are my Yulemei, so I can throw you away after drinking.

62. Tall buildings rise from the ground, and glory can only depend on oneself.

63. I just wanted to turn around gracefully, but unexpectedly I hit the wall!

64. Sorry, the user you dialed is married.

65. You born in the 90s have the heart of the 80s and the face of the 70s...

66. I am L'Oreal Paris, you deserve it!

67. A lion will not look back just because a dog barks.

68. You do art, and I do you. This is called in-depth art.

69. The farthest distance in the world is not between life and death, but when I am invisible and you are online, and when you are online, I am invisible.

70. Secret love is a successful pantomime, but speaking out becomes a tragedy!

71. I am crazy and you are stupid. We have become a family in a daze. Come home quickly after get off work and say you love me again!

72. Walk your own way in someone else’s shoes, and let others find your shoes!

73. If you get off the chariot and make chopsticks, you won’t be alone!

74. When you know the confusion, you are not pitiful. When you don’t know the confusion, you are the most pitiful.

75. All harmony and balance, health and fitness, success and happiness are generated and caused by the upward psychology of optimism and hope.

76. Practice one breath inside and one breath outside.

77. A man’s words are like an old lady’s teeth. How many of them are true? !

78. Those who do not have medical insurance and life insurance should not act bravely after dark...

79. Without forgiveness, life will be controlled by endless hatred and revenge. I really didn't mean to hurt you, and I really want to make peace with you. Please forgive me.

80. Question: What do you like about me? Answer: I like you to stay away from me!

81. Maintain an optimistic attitude. Don’t pay too much attention to the ups and downs, joys and sorrows in life, and don’t be too demanding, let alone blame others. Because there are so few things in the world that everyone pays attention to.

82. The more people I know, the more I like animals.

83. Give me a pair of chopsticks. I could eat the entire planet.

84. Nowadays, many blond, blue-eyed and pretty aristocratic daughters from across the ocean are crying and clamoring to get Chinese green cards, risking their lives to fall into the arms of unmarried men in the CCTV Spring Festival Gala.

85. Being mean is also an art. Let’s improve this art together!

86. There are no ifs in life, only consequences and results.

87. Mathematics makes me very tired, and physics makes me wrong again and again. Studying really made me haggard, and I was about to have a mental breakdown. Only by surfing the Internet will I not fall behind!

88. The more you learn, the more you know. The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. Why do you learn?

89. I haven’t seen you for a while, but I really miss you! How are you over there? Did the tiger bully you? Do lions scare you? Have tourists thrown anything at you? Are you used to holding your phone with two little hooves and reading text messages?

90. Marble brand insoles are shameless for your feet.

91. Cherish life - if God lets you live, then he must have his arrangements.

92. Going to school is really hard, why not play on the computer at home.

93. If you choose to look up at others at 45°, don’t blame others for looking down at you at 135°.

94. Some things, in an instant, have already deteriorated.

95. Please do not harass, I am harassing others. Humorous and eloquent classic quotations part 2

1. It is said that women are made of water, but the water pollution is so serious recently

2. People inside the wall want to think about it, and people outside the wall Wanting to go in, I stood on the wall and looked around.

3. Donor, put down your butcher knife, decide to become a Buddha, and shave your head.

4. You can only convince other people’s ears with your mouth, but you can conquer other people’s hearts with actions.

5. Living in the coldest water, trying not to drown.

6. Hey, don’t show your worthless face in front of me, thank you.

7. You dress like this. Are you dissatisfied with this world?

8. I have made so many mistakes that I don’t even know where I went wrong now.

9. How do you know what is best if you don’t miss some crooked melons and cracked dates?

10. Every time I miss you is like a grain of sand, so there is Sahara in the world .

11. You are not Lin Daiyu, so don’t imitate other people’s sadness.

12. There are hot and cold jokes. Who doesn’t know humor?

13. At this age, the only thing I can afford to hold and put down is chopsticks.

14. What is money? It’s something I don’t have.

15. If your mind is not as big as the sea, how can you have a career as big as the sea?

16. A heart can only pretend to be one person. If you pretend to be two people, then you are not a human being

17. What makes people crazier than falling in love is - falling out of love .

18. Don’t be afraid of temptation. If you resist it, it means you are a good person; if you fail to resist it, it means you were a good person.

19. Don’t grab things from me, even though I don’t I can act coquettishly, but I can do wrestling.

20. I dedicated my best years to compulsory education

21. Women have two mouths, one mouth talks about right and wrong, and the other mouth can eat people.

22. Being stared at by a beautiful woman requires more psychological quality than being stared at by an ugly girl for a day.

23. Beauty can only be used to deceive men, and intelligence can be used to deceive the world.

24. You say you are my friend, but in fact I know that animals are indeed friends of humans.

25. Be very careful when brushing your teeth in the future. Don’t swallow mouthwash again. Classic humorous eloquence quotes Part 3

1. I don’t intend to be different, but I have outstanding taste.

2. When others praise me, I worry that they don’t praise me enough.

3. Apart from love, there are also radishes in other people’s fields that you can’t extricate yourself from.

4. Don’t be afraid of enemies like tigers, but be afraid of teammates like pigs.

5. Not everyone can live a low-key life. The basis for being low-key is that you can be high-profile at any time.

6. I got married because I liked it, but later I got divorced because I chose it wrongly.

7. Low-key! That’s the best way to show off!

8. The sea is vast and the fish can jump, and the broken drum can be beaten by others.

9. The night gave me a pair of black eyes, but I used them to roll my eyes.

10. Be happy while you are alive, because we will die for a long time.

11. Fate is responsible for shuffling the cards, but it is ourselves who play the cards.

12. A man’s brain likes a woman’s heart, but his eyes like a woman’s appearance.

13. A grievance that can be expressed is not a grievance; a lover that can be snatched away is not a lover.

14. Women like bad-looking men, not bad-looking men.

15. Sighing is the most time-consuming thing, and crying is the most energy-wasting behavior.

16. The journey of exploration is not about discovering new continents, but about cultivating new perspectives.

17. Love means being mean, and it is still being mean again and again. Whenever you stop being a bitch, a woman will come!

18. Don’t say love to others easily, don’t stubbornly open the door to others’ hearts, and then leave with a joke

19. If you don’t fall asleep in class, get drunk at the wine table. .

20. When you put on the wedding dress of love, I also put on the monk's cassock

21. The fewer enemies or consciences, the safer it is.

22. It is virtue for a woman to have no talent. I must be too wicked.

23. There is true love in the world, and I love all beautiful women.

24. Wounds are the shame given by others and the illusion that you persist in.

25. I will not bend down if money falls from the sky, because even pies will not fall from the sky, let alone Money dropped.

26. Angels and devils always like to play tug-of-war with my soul.

27. I don’t know whose wife is on my bed. I don’t know whose bed my wife is on!

28. I can’t find my tie again. Did you not find the rag yesterday?

29. If I thought too much, I would grow old together with you

30. I only drink pure water and pure milk, so I am very simple

31. Summer is just not good. When you are poor, you can’t even drink the west winter wind.

32. I only believe in two people in this world, one is me and the other is not you.

33. A true warrior dares to face his face without makeup

34. Love is art, marriage is technology, and divorce is arithmetic.

35. Love is always holier than marriage, and marriage is always more affordable than love.