A letter to her ex-husband

Dear teacher Zhang, I thought about it for several days before I decided to write this letter to you. We haven't had a good chat for a long time, and we quarrel if we disagree. So is divorce. Many times, I just miss my son, but you are so heartless. You are still immature. Maybe I let you down too much. But it's been so long that I forget everything. Why not? Now that I'm not in your life, you can be normal in the future. I just really miss my son, and I don't want you to look back. Although I love you and care about you, I have never thought about getting back together because I am tired.

In the first few days of my divorce, I felt no different from the original, because we had been arguing for more than a year, and I had long been used to life without you. What I wanted most that year was to leave you and live quietly alone. Because I didn't want to quarrel with you, and I didn't want to face your straight face, I forced you several times and finally we divorced.

I have been divorced for half a year, and suddenly I often think of you, because I understand that you are a man who really treats me. I will dream of you at night, too. People who often see you in the street think they have your shadow. Some people dress like you, some people have hairstyles like you, some people have backs like you, and some people have cars of the same style as you.

The last time, I was on the bus, at a traffic light intersection, there were two father and son riding an electric car, and the child behind was about ten years old. I think maybe next time we meet, maybe my child is so old. Suddenly, my heart felt bad, and tears are not obedient's son came down.

These two months, I miss you very much. I thought maybe you would contact me. I don't want to get back together I just want to prove that you still love me, and you will regret your original decision. But I know that I really hurt you too much this time, and you will never forgive me as before.

On the day I planned to leave Yunnan, I thought about it, but I sent you a short message. I said I wanted to see my son. Can you send him to my place of work? In a few hours, you can reply to me. Who the fuck are you? I'm not angry or sad. I said to myself, I deserve it. But there is still a little bit of luck in my heart, and you will definitely send me a message, because after so many years together, I know your character very well, and you always say that I have no patience. Actually, we are all the same. You've been like this all these years together. Whenever I need your help, you will scold me and think quietly, but every time you think of a way, I solve the problem. This time, too, when I received your reply again, I had already left Yunnan 13 hours. I woke up on the train at seven o'clock that morning, turned on my cell phone and saw your message. You said that if one day I turn over a new leaf and work hard, you would say I love you, but what do you love me for? Do you have the ability to solve this problem now? No, but I won't argue with you like before. I said, ok, wait for me 156780. But I won't come back for you, because I was like that four months ago. You came to my hotel before I left, but you didn't ask me to stay. Your mother called and you went back. The next day, I took the train all day, and you sent me a message saying that you would come back to work together. I'm a stranger in Guangzhou, so I ran into a wall when looking for a job. I thought of my son. I bought a ticket and went back to Yunnan. After more than 20 hours, I returned to Kunming. I thought Yunnan was better. Yunnan has my lovely children and you.

I said I was back, but you never contacted me. I arrived in Kunming and you didn't meet me at the station. I found a hotel to stay in. You didn't come until midnight, and we started quarreling again. You got up and left, and then you called me half an hour later and asked me if I would eat. I said no, you said you would go back, and I said you would.

The next day, you gave me a red envelope of ten dollars, and you said I would go to you by car. You didn't have time to pick me up, and I said no, because you opened a shop with your friends. Now I am so competitive, how can I go to your store to face your friends? A WeChat friend gave me advice. He asked me to go to a place in Kunming to find a job. I washed my face and went out after seeing the house. Then I looked at the recruitment information and thought about my own conditions. I have no education and no image. I feel that my salary is low when I do basic things. I really don't know what else I can do. It's all the same when you go out and come back. I thought about everything I have experienced in recent years, and I wanted to die for that minute. I'm afraid that if I don't die, I won't even have medical expenses. Then I thought of a man, the dead man who lied to me, and I was going to die in his company. So I sent a message to your mother, saying that she wanted to go home for dinner, and your mother didn't call me back. I know she must have called you. After more than half an hour, I received your message, and you told me to leave your family alone. At that moment, I realized despair. What it feels like.

I went back to the hotel and sent a message on the WeChat drift bottle. I bid farewell to this beautiful world. I want to be reborn as a happy person in my next life. A stranger replied to me and asked me what was going on. I can't do anything stupid. His words gave me hope. He said that your previous failure was only because you didn't know how to make money, but that doesn't mean you were wrong. Hearing this sentence, I felt that at least one person could stand on my side this minute, so I talked with him for three hours and told him all the recent events. My mood is getting better. After chatting with him, I watched some inspirational movies and didn't go to bed until after four o'clock.

Get up the next day and pack up. I decided to live a good life, but I didn't know what to do. I only have 180 yuan in my wallet. I sent a message to my friend. She said she had nowhere to go, so she went to her house. However, her family asked for more than 200 yuan in travel expenses. I reasoned about it. I still need to find a job where I can eat and control, so that I can tide over the difficulties. I don't want to disturb my friends. I pulled my suitcase out, which is very important. This is a food factory. I called, and the boss said I needed someone else. I take the subway. I sent you a message when I arrived at the factory. I said I found a job, and I sent you the address. You came here at night without giving me any encouragement, and you scolded me for looking for a job so far away. If it's close to you, we can do something early after work. You don't think I want to? You turn the car around and look at your distant back. I deleted your WeChat again and hacked your phone.

I just learned a few days ago that this place only makes Mid-Autumn moon cakes for two months. I can only make it first, and then make plans two months later. It was also in these two months that I understood some truth. I saw my own life and the shortcomings of others. The boss's son-in-law has the same life as mine. No one in my mother's family respects him. People say I saw my past in his life, and that's what I did in your house. Nobody respects me. Your brother Zhihu is my name. Your parents never say that your brother is wrong. Your mother inherited everything from me. So at that time, I wanted to prove that I was not bad.

There is also a college student who experienced life during the holiday and just started school last month. She is quiet and full of books. It's warm to watch her. She is very kind and can chat with anyone. I see myself in her, I have no confidence, so I am a hedgehog. I use external thorns to protect my inner inferiority.

What I respect most is Sun Xiao. She says she can't read, but I think she is very virtuous. She cooks delicious food. Every day, the dormitory is clean. Besides cooking, she also makes moon cakes with us. She said that her mother-in-law was very nice and dressed more fashionably than her. She said that her mother-in-law took care of the children at home, so she worked in a supermarket. She can sleep naturally when she is resting, and she doesn't worry about anything at home. I remember that when I first gave birth to my son, it was difficult for him to take care of him three months ago. He sleeps during the day and cries once an hour at night. I couldn't sleep all night. I wanted to hug him, and he cried until six in the morning. I just slept until seven when your grandfather called me. I told your mother that my son didn't sleep at night, and she didn't believe me. She said her son was so good during the day. Later, I asked her to take care of him at night, and I did it myself. The child didn't sleep at night. I told my friend, and she said she slept backwards. She asked me to try on clothes for the children in turn. I just need to try. I bought a bigger T-shirt at the vegetable market for 10 yuan and gave it to my son in turn. He didn't cry that night. The next night, your mother said that she would continue to do this, because she understood it herself, so she believed me. Sun Xiao's husband's brother runs a clinic. Before that, his brother bought a big house and the two families lived together for seven or eight years. Her family just bought a house this year, and her brother also lent her a loan to buy a house and a car. I envy her family very much. They live in harmony and everything goes well. But the two of us, I married you without anything, and there was no wedding. When we got married, I lived in the electric car storage room, you slept on the sofa, and my son and I slept in bunk beds. This life also made your five-year-old brother kick us out. He said this was his home, not ours. Because of this, I wanted to make money and own a house, but I didn't become the woman who made you proud. Your mother and I are the same. She is not a good mother-in-law.

I also see ways and means of doing business and interpersonal communication in my boss. I understand that shopping malls are like battlefields, and I can't do business for a fool like me, so it's inevitable to go today. For two months, I have been looking forward to your coming to see me every day. You will pick me up before the Mid-Autumn Festival. Whenever there is a car in the factory, I wonder if you will come to see me, but I am disappointed again and again until we finish the work.

After coming out of the food factory, everyone went home for the New Year. I was homeless because I didn't want to wander the streets, so I rented a house for 200 yuan. On the night of Mid-Autumn Festival, I couldn't help adding your WeChat. I changed the micro signal. You ask me who I am and what I can do for you. I said I was the person you hated the most. You replied and I left. I said yes.

After the Mid-Autumn Festival, I began to look for a job. Four days later, I found a new job and barely got food and shelter. One day, I received your message and you sent me a string of numbers. You said it was my son's QQ, so I added it. If I miss my son, I want to talk to him. I said yes, you took my son to play on National Day, and my son also opened a video with me. He said he went to play with his father and friends. When I have nothing to do, I watch QQ quietly. When I see the Internet, I feel very practical, as if I have been with you all the time. But a few days later, you said let me pull the black, you don't want to see me, I said yes.

After working here for a few days, my heart began to fidget again. I'm fed up with this life. Calculate the money. When can I get ahead? I really wanted to go to another city, so I resigned. When I left, I wanted to meet my children, so I sent you a message. I said, can you send my children to my place of work? You can reply to me again. Who the fuck are you ?

Your problem is solved, because you have a mother, she is capable, and you have a family and children. Although you work harder, you may get up early in the morning to send your children to school and do your own laundry after work, but you are everywhere, but I am different. You and I grew up in different environments, and you will never understand my suffering. I don't understand why I took this road. I just want to have a home.

Now I have nothing, my son is still young and knows nothing. But I will wait for him to grow up and tell him everything, everything about my mother. Now, I will leave your world completely. I put it down, too, because I had no choice and I was in pain. This is the only way I can choose now.

I know you are working hard now, but you are happy. I can see my parents alive and my son's lovely smile every day.

As for me in another city, I got the punishment I deserved. I abandoned all my friends, was branded a liar, and even dared not go out. I am burdened with heavy mental shackles, nightmares every day, and heavy debts, which will be repaid with the rest of my life. I can't see my lovely child, he is my only hope to live. Many times when I wanted to die, I looked at the lovely photos of my son, but I still wiped my tears and lived bravely. Because I will tell my son everything when he grows up. I also know that death can't solve the problem. Twenty-six years ago, my father ended his life with a rope. He was released. It is the living who suffer, so I can't let history repeat itself.

Now that I think about it, I am grateful for all this. Maybe this is the same as what Zhang Defen said. All suffering is a gift from God, but some gifts are ugly. I will open it patiently, and I will find the beauty hidden inside. Yes, because all this tempered my will, I thank my master, who taught me how to look at the world and get to know these friends around me. I thank those who cheat me. He made me leave the circle completely. I am very grateful to you. You gave me a lovely son.

Now I can't get sick, I can't buy what I want to eat, I can't buy the clothes I want. When winter comes, I will look at the specials in Taobao and the shopping cart, and finally decide to buy the cheapest one. The hard-earned salary every month will be paid off when it arrives.

You must have a successful career and solved the problem now. Everything is still there. You want a lover to accompany you. You said you would love me, but you are still immature. Do you think I can go back with you now? I love you, but living with you is very tiring. We are not fit to live together. Let's keep this last bit of affection in our hearts. When I think of the old days, I'm really scared. It's better to live a lifetime like that than to be comfortable alone. I'm afraid of your family. I saw your parents' married life, showing no respect or care for each other. I don't want history to repeat itself I admit that I still care about you and can't let you go, but I don't think it's necessary to get together again. Life will not wait for us in the same place. I will let you and my children go, and I will bravely pursue a new life. Maybe I can get through all the difficulties alone, but that day will be a long time. By the time it was over, I had exhausted all my energy. I just wanted to be with my son.

Honey, I went the wrong way, but you'll never know how I got there. I will never forget how we moved out with our son. You are not me, you can't understand the feeling that I have no home since I was a child. When I fall in love with you, you take me home. Your sister said I was too ugly. Do I have money? Did you marry me for my money? So I just want to fight to prove that you are good at getting a wife, but I am stupid and naive. I thought my efforts over the years would make me proud, but I didn't become what I wanted.

In the past three years, I have never been able to return. I know I can't. I need your help, but you never care about me. Just a year ago, my master appeared. He is very talented and willing to help me. But when everything was planned, my mother got terminal cancer, which upset all my plans. Perhaps, my suffering is not enough, and I don't deserve to be rich.

Teacher Zhang, our story has passed and there is no turning back. I just hope you meet the woman you like and love her. What will never change is that I am the mother of the child, which will never change. I will try my best to make it up to him. I feel sorry for you because I don't want to be your wife. Being your wife is tiring. I will protect you from afar. Maybe in the future, when you need it, I will definitely extend my hands to you. For the sake of the children, I can make it up. For my parents, there is no chance. For friends, I can only use time to prove it.

I'm only 35 years old, but I've been through too much. I have experienced the death of many relatives. My grandmother, my uncle, your grandmother and my mother all left me when I was most helpless. There is nothing I can do but watch them leave this world. I don't want to face all this anymore. I'm so tired. I just want to watch my son grow up. You have the care of your parents, and you can't understand my childhood sufferings. No matter what happens to you, your parents will never ignore you. I have to rely on myself since I was a child.

Teacher Zhang, I've been thinking about whether you can invite your children to visit me in Suzhou during the Spring Festival, but I understand that it's impossible, because your mother won't agree, and I can understand that you can't make your mother unhappy. Stay with them. I'd better work hard and try to get back to my children as soon as possible.

I have always regarded you as the closest person in my heart. You are young, and you can have a better life. I will always bless you.

I am fine now, I have made new friends, and I am not tired in my new job.

I changed my name, Ruoxi Wang,

It means that if you are in good health, there will be more hope.

Good night, Mr. Zhang.