A gay Iranian couple finally got married after going through all kinds of hardships

If Ramin Haghjoo and Nima Nia still live in Iran, they will get married if nothing unexpected happens. Although they are attractive enough to attract women, they may not provide their wives with the most basic "sexual blessings." And for themselves, like other Iranian gays, they can only spend their lives in a state of depression, fear, loneliness and avoidance.

Instead, Haji and Nia were lucky enough to eventually get married in the United States, announcing in a joyous ceremony in August this year that they would be together for the rest of their lives. The couple fled Iran as refugees several years ago, went to Turkey, and finally came to the United States. In America, everything is so open and free, and they have enough space to love each other. As they said themselves: at least they are still alive, they are married, and they boldly disclosed that they are gay. But Haghjoo and Nia also find themselves in an "extraordinary phase" - the US president is trying to ban new refugees from Iran and several other Muslim countries from immigrating to the United States as refugees, and many have even been deported and detained. The President of the United States considers such people from the Middle East to be a threat to the security of the United States. They want Iran to change so that people like them can be accepted and treated more fairly. They hope that the United States can also change so that they can be fairly accepted and provide a certain living space for gay refugees from Iran.

The story of Ramin Haghjoo

31-year-old Haji grew up in a relatively open family in Tehran, but his life was not smooth. At 19, he came out to a nurse. The male nurse urged him to tell his family about the incident immediately. After some ideological struggle, he spoke up. Fortunately, his parents and most other family members accepted him. But except for one younger brother, the mother later told the younger brother that if he wanted to publicize his brother's affairs and oppose his brother, he would not get any family property. In the end, my brother reluctantly gave up his objection. Since the Iranian military is extremely repulsive towards same-sex sexual orientation, homosexuals will be exempted from the right to join the military that all Iranian men should enjoy. The Iranian military considers this a mental issue. He is afraid that his sexual orientation will be known to the government because Iran is a hell for LGBTQ people. Homosexuality is illegal in Iran and sex between two men is punishable by death. Other actions, such as kissing or even just acknowledging homosexuality, can result in severe penalties. Although there are many clandestine websites for LGBTQ people, many of them have encountered great personal safety threats online and even in life. But Haji also wanted to be honest about who she was and avoid military service.

The danger doesn’t stop there, in June 2009 during the Iranian Green Movement (which called for then-President Ahmadinejad to step down), he warned an old lady to be careful because Armed men in military uniforms pointed their guns at her. Unexpectedly, the armed men aimed their guns at him and fired. The bullet passed through the right side of his abdomen. He had intestinal surgery to remove a section of his intestines and stayed in the hospital for nearly a week before gradually getting better. Haghjoo spoke about the experience of filming a documentary about gays in Iran, only to later discover that the filmmakers planned to focus on his story. He was afraid of attracting the attention of the government, so he decided to flee to Türkiye. The documentary aired a week after he left Iran. Afterwards, he wanted to go home, but his mother, fearing for his safety, warned him not to come back.

Nimania’s Story

In 2006, 29-year-old Iranian Nimania received a text message from an unknown phone number. It said "Happy Valentine's Day" and was sent by Mianeh from Iran, who was getting ready to go to school. At first, he responded to the text message. Thought it was just from someone in an LGBTQ chat room. But in the end he was more stupid and stopped and kept texting. Another message soon followed, threatening to call him. Then his home phone rang. The man on the other end said he knew Nia was gay.

One day, the man called again and said he was near Nia's house. Nia smiles during her outdoor wedding. After months of harassment, Nia met another man who worked as a security guard at the bank and told him what had happened. Security contacted the man who had threatened Nia, and the calls finally stopped. But when Nia starts dating the security guard, he encounters new problems. The security guard became indifferent and at one point threatened Nia and his parents. After two months, Niya finally decided that he couldn't stay in Iran, even though he was about to graduate from college. He fled to Türkiye, leaving behind him both his life and his art.

Adapting to the United States is not easy. In Philadelphia, Nia worked a few jobs he hated, including in a Walmart warehouse. He was unable to make a living using the skills he learned at art college because America gave him no opportunities. His life in the United States began to lose hope. After all the hardship comes happiness. Last January, Nia proposed to Boston's Haghjoo. It was such a surprise, Haghjoo knew that their friend was busy preparing for his birthday party. Nia made a video using photos of the two of them, with Leonard Cohen's "Dance 'Til End of Love" playing in the background. He then presented Hager with a cake decorated with photos and a photo that read "Marry Me." They think differently in some respects. Nia said she would be bored hanging out with people like him. He loves that his husband is kind to everyone and has a sense of responsibility towards those around him. The two were married on August 26 at the Airy Mansion in Upper Marlborough, Maryland, a short drive from Washington. The only family member attending the wedding was one of Nia's sisters, who also lives in the United States. The other sisters and most relatives did not support their marriage, even though Haji's family was generally open to his sexual orientation. Even if his Iranian family wanted to come, it would be impossible. Because it is impossible for the President of the United States to give them the opportunity to enter the United States.

"Imagine that there is someone waiting for you, giving you the strongest support when you want to cry the most" (lyrics: translated from Persian). "He is the person you see in your dreams, the person who understands the depth of your pain. He is the most different person in the world. He knows that life is so tumultuous. He knows that life has difficulties, but sitting with you Next to that, he forgot about all the bitterness! “They want to share their stories so that other gay people living in fear around the world right now know how wonderful it is to have the courage to come out and live your life—even though, most likely, you have to leave. Everything you have. "I left the money, I left my car, I left my home, I left my friends," Haghjoo said. "We left a lot of things. He continued: "Now, I want to use his love to create a new life, an amazing life." "Sometimes I would say, Nima, he is my money, he is my parents, he is my brother, he is my old friend and my family. He is everything to me, why would I abandon it, later Then I realized that the so-called "possessions" in the past are just a burden. As long as your family who loves you still loves you, there is nothing you can't let go of!