Happy Smile Classic Short Joke

1. Types of pigs: Domestic pigs are kept at home, wild boars are born in the mountains, and those who read this message are stupid pigs. If they are laughing, they are stupid pigs. If they are angry, they are stupid pigs. No. The reply message is a dead pig.

2. The thief was caught by police when he came to the store to steal things for the second time. ** asked: "Don't you know you are going to be caught?" The thief said: "I know it says 'Welcome again'.

3. My dear, let me tell you, age is not a problem, height is not a problem. It’s not distance, weight is not pressure, and money is not ability, so we must be together forever!

4. I miss you when I’m lost, and I want you when I’m lonely. Endless happiness, you are the love of my life! But you left when I was poor, come back!

5. I dreamed of you last night and sent you home. , we walked to a beautiful building, you said, ran in, I looked at your figure, and saw it said mental hospital.

6. I haven’t received your message for a long time. When I thought about dying, I cut my veins with potato chips, hit my head with tofu, and hung myself with noodles, but I didn't die. Just treat me to a meal and let me die.

7. Mountains and seas can separate each other, but they cannot separate my thoughts; distance can separate you and me, but it cannot separate our true friendship; time can forget the past, but it cannot forget eternal friends.

8. Women - —Before engagement, like a swallow, it can fly as much as it wants. After engagement, it is like a dove, which can fly but dare not fly far. After marriage, it is like a duck, which wants to fly but is unable to do so.

9 , The guests are as proud as drunks, and the beauties are smiling and crying. How sad are they? The night is long and the sky is always dark. The stars are so lonely that all the thoughts are gone, and the waning moon flows to the west! >

10. The sky is blue and the sea is salty. My heart for you is not fake! The land is wide and the trees are long. I love you for more than just winter and summer. But why do you leave me? And what about it? Prosperity!

11. In the past, Jiang Youjun was just teasing you; later, you were ruthless and attacked with green onions; now, although prices have risen, friendship has become more popular. Don't belittle me, I have nothing to do, I am teasing you without any discussion!

12. There is so much fun in life, it is not too old to live until 80. It is still very early to be 30, so don't be too busy and worried. Bake, relax and take a bath. I wish you a happy day!

13. I created this poem on a whim. This poem is known to many people in the world. If you are not famous, you are afraid of being strong. For a fool, you will not care about success or failure. You know, if you don’t believe it, you will definitely be a fool reading this poem.

14. The cat warmed the frozen mouse. The mouse said: "Benefactor, you are so kind, you will be rewarded well." The cat replied: "Thank you! It's been cold recently. It's too hard to freeze and it's not good for your teeth!"

15. Your round face is so white, your curved eyebrows are so slender; your watery eyes are so bright, and your affectionate voice is so sweet: Woof! Woof! Woof!

16. Roses are my passion, candy is my taste, stars are my eyes, and moonlight is my kiss. I give them to you together, my love, Happy New Year! In my heart you are the most beautiful.

17. Wife: Boss, a bottle of rice wine, for my husband. Boss: Is one bottle enough? Your husband is famous for his heavy drinking. Wife: It may not be enough for drinking, but it should be enough for smashing a bottle.

18. Urgent reminder: There is a fear of tornado weather in the near future. Be sure to carry two 10-kilogram dumbbells with you when you go out to avoid being swept into the west by the strong wind. Those weighing less than 50 kg must double the weight.

19. On the first night when I moved to my new home, a man broke in in the dark. I was unable to resist. He stole all my belongings... Damn tomb robbers, they didn’t leave the coffin when they left. Cover well.

20. Mobile phones can be charged by exposing them to the sun, soaked in water to prevent aging, and placed in the toilet to prevent radiation. These are little-known secrets, and I don’t tell most people!

21. Daughter: Dad said that domestic flowers don’t have the fragrance of wild flowers. Mom, aren’t you jealous? My mother replied: How can I be so petty? House flowers and wild flowers are relative terms, and I am also a wild flower in other people's eyes.

22. There are gold arrows, iron arrows, and bronze arrows, but you have to learn silver arrows! It is said that there are 360 ??moves in 18 types of martial arts, but you wanted to learn Drunken Arrow, so soon you appeared on the world: Drunken Silver Arrow!

23. I spent 150 to get a haircut today. After returning to the dormitory, my roommate criticized me strongly. At this time, the classmate who was silent for a long time concluded: This hairstyle is cost-effective. It only cost one hundred and fifty to get a haircut worth two hundred and fifty.

24. You stood on the side of the road waiting anxiously, I rushed towards you quickly, and you seemed to have closed your eyes happily! I said excitedly and apologetically: Sorry! My headlights caught you!

25. A diner deliberately made things difficult for the store owner and ordered a scrambled duck egg. I only heard the waiter shouting loudly towards the kitchen: "The guest officer who is sitting next to the door facing north and reading text messages on his mobile phone is a bastard?

26. Are you obsessed with me? I have spent all day I don’t feel tired when I look at you, I can’t even blink my eyes, I always look at you and stay with you, I’m so happy! - My favorite mobile phone!

27. For fat moms! When I asked for the membership card, it said: I am now 29 years and a few months old... The staff looked at it and said suspiciously: How many months old? The fat mother struggled for a long time and said: 066 months old.

Monday, hold hands. Thursday, love. Saturday, romantic "kiss." 29. The hot summer is coming, and the wonderful memories of the past turn into lovesickness, and the gentle breeze turns into blessings, soothing your busyness. I just want to say to you: be happy!

30. I am afraid of the dark and I want your comfort. I am haggard and want your comfort. I cannot sleep without your care. I cannot face tomorrow without you. I will never learn without you!

31. The falling raindrops are tears of longing, and the falling snowflakes are frozen tears. My friend, no matter when or where I am, I will never forget you who sucked your fingers and wet the bed. < /p>

32. There is a reason why the second elder brother, the fourth elder brother and the eighth elder brother all like Yang Mi, because they are the first power, the second power and the third power of two respectively. They can learn mathematics, physics and chemistry well and travel all over the world. Don’t be afraid!

33. I went to Beidaihe and saw you that day. Really, I couldn’t believe my eyes. You were standing on the blue seaside and I stabbed you with a stick. Hey, this Little bastard, your shell is quite hard!

34. Since you have been hit by youth, I wish you: be hit on the head by happiness, stepped on by happiness, and be searched by health. I was kicked and kicked by Good Luck.

35. The big bad wolf committed rape and was sentenced to 10 years in prison. He asked the beast to give it to the judge. Bag of shit, it was announced the next day that the Big Bad Wolf was sentenced to half a year in prison with a suspended sentence

36. Someone asked Picasso: "Why can't I understand your paintings?" Picasso asked him: "Have you ever heard birds singing?" "I heard it." "Does it sound good?" "It sounds good." "Do you understand?"

37. Drinking tea and wine, gathering with good friends. They chatted about love and played mahjong with each other. TV and movies were playing, and we were living a romantic and unrestrained life. Good taste, good taste, good life, I wish you happiness.

38. Valentine’s Day wish: Be a koala and lie down on a big eucalyptus tree and sleep soundly. I am a koala and you are a eucalyptus tree. Amen! I will stick to you, love you, and need you all my life!

39. The next time I meet you, I will definitely pull you to the bedroom, lock the door, quickly push you down on the bed, cover your head with the quilt, and stretch out my big hand... Look, my The phone has a blue screen.

40. Banana had a cold and went to the doctor. The doctor said: Take off your clothes first! Banana lifted up his clothes. After seeing the doctor, he clapped his hands and said, "You have a cold? You clearly have a curvature of your spine. Go buy a back brace!"

41. Work is boring, making money is hard, but ideals are lofty. When we have money, we will drink soy milk and eat fried dough sticks. If we want to dip our hands in white sugar, we will buy two bowls of soy milk and drink one bowl. , pour a bowl!

42. GSM Mobile users: Due to network debugging recently, if your mobile phone signal is poor, please slam your mobile phone on the ground as hard as you can, and the mobile phone will return to normal after several times.

43. I searched east and west, south and north, up and down, but I couldn’t find my heart. Suddenly I understood. It turns out it has been stolen by you.

44. A middle-aged couple was taking a break and chatting. Wife: Husband, I heard from the news that an 18-year-old boy jumped off a building recently. It’s so puzzling! Husband: Do you think those born in the 1990s are just joking?

45. A: Let me tell you good news. After a period of hard study, one of my essays was finally adopted by an evening newspaper. B: What article is it? A: A missing statement.

46. Those who make furniture are wood, those who understand poetry are scholars, what everyone thinks about is money, what is being cultivated is talent, what women want is body, those who send messages are geniuses, and the one who is reading text messages is Idiot.

47. Plant a wish and harvest a hope; plant a sincerity and harvest a love; plant a seed and harvest a bud, but there is you next to you—— Straw bag.

48. Two cows were eating grass on the grassland. The white cow asked: What does the grass you eat taste like? Hei Niu answered: Strawberry flavor. The white cow came to eat it and said, "How can it taste like strawberry?" Black Cow: I mean, grass is tasteless!

49. I want to send you a text message every day to harass you and warn you not to forget me. You must think of me every day and give you a hint that you think of me. If you are willing to invite me to dinner, I will send him a text message blessing every day.

50. The departure of autumn takes away a ray of coolness; the arrival of winter brings a ray of coldness. No matter when, the friendship is still there and I wish you far away to wear more clothes and take care of your health.

51. I heard that your mobile phone does not have text messaging function, so I sent this text message to test it. If you receive a text message that is confirmed to have text messaging function and is mine, please reply: I got it, it’s yours!

52. When her husband is on a business trip, the good wife affectionately gives her husband a pack of condoms: Remember to wear condoms if you really can’t bear it outside. My husband said excitedly: My family is not well off, but I still use theirs!

53. You drink wolf wine and walk like a dog all day long, sing love songs and walk on mountain roads, comb your lovelorn hair, walk passionately, have a pair of rag-picking eyes, and always Looking for the rain and dew of love.

54. Singles’ Day is here. Birds are in love, ants are living together, flies are pregnant, mosquitoes have miscarriages, butterflies are divorced, caterpillars have remarried, and frogs have given birth. What are you waiting for?

55. Embark on the road to happiness, and it will become wider and wider; light the fire of wealth, and it will burn brighter and brighter; jump into the sea of ??happiness, and explore wider and wider; cultivate the tree of friendship, and grow greener and greener. . May you be happy for a long time, my friend!

56. Big news: A strange thing happened in this city recently. Someone discovered that the IQ of piglets turned out to be as high as that of adults. They do everything humans do, such as read text messages.

57. I admit that I can’t catch you, there are so many people chasing you! Some things can't be forced. Give the opportunity to others. Anyway, whoever catches you will do harm to the people. If you still run, you're a dead rat.

58. You are so cute—poor no one loves you. You look really nice - it's really not your fault that you look like this. You are a genius - a born fool. You are very temperamental - stingy and neurotic.

59. We were once destined to be together, but today we are on separate sides. Looking back on those years, I have a lot of memories. In your hometown, looking into the distance, brothers, don’t forget to add some clothes. Good health, happy family, and happiness year after year!

60. I would like to be an umbrella to protect you from the wind and rain. I would like to be a charcoal fire to keep you warm in the cold. I would like to be your shadow to accompany you all my life. The people of Beijing know my heart. Do you understand?

61. Angel’s message: In order to purify the earth’s bad atmosphere, everyone must take it. One part miss, two parts miss, three parts miss. This medicine is specially designed for the heartless people, and it can remind you to take medicine in the form of text messages.

62. Your child is called Face, and my child is called **. Later, I lost my face on the street. Five years later, you came to my house and said with emotion: If I had lost my face, I would be as old as you now! Why!

63. Three unlucky men. He is a fool when it comes to cooking and cooking, but he is not a fool when playing mahjong. The political achievements are not outstanding, the work is not outstanding, and the spine is outstanding. He doesn't speak in general meetings, he doesn't speak in small meetings, and his prostate is inflamed.

64. Stimulate the domestic demand of longing, promote the employment of greetings, maintain the growth of concern, stabilize the happy people's livelihood, overcome the difficulties of distance, adhere to the scientific development of blessing, and wish you great success in your career.

65. White clouds floating in the blue sky are the sound of romance; birds chirping in the branches are the sound of freedom; children playing around are the sound of happiness. May you always have beautiful voices around you.

66. I will love you for ten thousand years, exaggeration! I have loved you for five thousand years, hopelessly! Loving you for a thousand years is ridiculous! I've loved you for a hundred years, which is too long! I have loved you for 70 consecutive years. As long as I am healthy, that is my strong point!

67. I took my little daughter with me on the subway and there was no room. When I saw a girl, I said to my daughter: Ask my sister, can I sit on your lap? The daughter asked the girl: Sister, can you let my dad sit on your lap?

68. Urgent notice: Polygamy will be restored from now on. Men who are still monogamous after two weeks will be sentenced to fixed-term imprisonment of not less than six months and not more than three years, and fined heavily.

69. Do you have a TV there? Look at the CCTV. The White House in the United States was bombed. The entire building collapsed. The police have cordoned off the entire Washington. People are dead, injured and missing. People are deceived!

70. In life, I wish you: 100% passionate, 90% elegant, 80% smart, 70% agile, 60% funny, 50% gentle, 4 close friends, 30% bold, 2% reserved, 1% Very romantic.

71. I was passing by the dormitory building and something floated on my head. I raised my head and looked around the entire building, only to see tears streaming down my face. Um? Braised flavor. Depend on! Who is so immoral and pours soup after eating instant noodles!

72. I dreamed last night that you were swimming in 100-degree boiling water. I was so scared that I broke into a cold sweat and called you to come ashore, but you looked back and smiled: A dead pig is not afraid of being scalded by boiling water. I fainted! I wish you happiness every day!

73. Colleagues went shopping and saw a shrew swearing at everyone they saw. Colleague A: Why are you biting people like a dog? Colleague B: Look at her, she’s not an ordinary dog, she’s a Tibetan Mastiff!

74. Men are born guilty and should not be afraid of getting tired when doing things. Of course you pay for dates, but sweet words must be memorized. You have to turn in your monthly salary, don't expect anything in return, any mistakes are your fault.

75. Busy life can easily kill people's enthusiasm and lose interest in anything, so occasionally you have to stop and think carefully about whether you should pee with a far-sighted attitude.

76. You look at me for a while and look at the ground for a while. I feel like you are far away when you look at me, but very close when you look at the ground. Alas, you can chew those bones as long as you want. Taking you out for a walk is really a headache!

77. When I was poor, you were by my side; when I was sick and injured, you were by my side; when I was frustrated in love, you were by my side. You are so unlucky to be together.

78. Honey, if girls are divided into five levels according to their appearance: beautiful, temperamental, cute, patriotic, and obeying traffic rules, you will only be ranked between being patriotic and obeying traffic rules.

79. One day I saw a beggar begging with two hats. After giving him a dime, I asked the beggar why he was holding two hats. The beggar replied, "Business has not been very good recently. I opened another business."

80. Happiness is when cats eat fish, dogs eat meat, and Ultraman fights little monsters. But for me, happiness is about raising you to be fat and healthy, and then Slaughter it, haha, little piggy.

81. The husband asked his wife: I don’t look very good, but why do you always say that I am so cool? Wife: I said you are so cool. is the abbreviation, and the full name is "It looks too cruel and should be pulled out and killed" 82. Did you receive a text message on this day last year that remains fresh in your memory? If you received this message, it would prove that you were. Your phone is infected with a virus. Please put your phone in water and soak it for a day.

83. My belly is a little bigger, my neck is a little thinner, my head is a little shorter, my hair is a little less, and my teeth are a little yellow. The thighs are a little shorter and the muscles are a little less, but other than these, you are 100% handsome.

84. The clouds are floating, the wind is blowing, and we don’t need a reason to meet each other; when the sun rises and the sun sets, we are together. It’s not just day and night; love between heaven and earth, justice in the world, always, I wish you good health!

85. After working, I got to know more and more people, but I discovered that there are more and more people. True love is getting less and less. I suddenly thought of you, so I bought you your favorite food, seafood-flavored dog food!

86. The moment I turned around and left, you were with me. The helpless crying and heartbreaking pain behind me made me realize in an instant how much I love you. I turned around and hugged you: I won’t sell this pig.

87. Beggar: Sister-in-law, I haven’t eaten for two days, can you give me some cake? Sister-in-law: Cake? I only have rice here. Beggar: Forget it if it’s normal, but today is my birthday!

88. If you have nothing to do, I will send you a text message. I wish you good health and energy, delicious meals, good things happening every day, your salary doubling every year, your hands cramping when you count money, and all in all, you are blessed. Son!

89. That day I called you a pig, and you said, "I am a pig." From then on, I called you a pig. Finally, you couldn't bear it anymore and shouted at me in front of many people. "It's strange that I'm not a pig"!

90. Some people say that the best doctor is yourself, the best medicine is time, the best exercise is walking, and the best mood is tranquility. I hope you can walk more and maintain a peaceful mood!

91. I understand that every text message I send you will be unforgettable for you! I understand that every word I write to you makes you sleepless and forgetful of food! But I want to know, when will I pay for the meal I owe you?

92. A woman went to the army to visit relatives. When filling out the registration form, she did not know what a "relationship" was, so she filled in "three times a week." The soldier on duty pointed out that she was wrong, so she had no choice but to fill in "seven times a week." ".

93. Without you, I feel anxious; with you, I feel upset; looking at you every day, I can’t sleep all night! You are not the kind of wish I long for. Hey, life is so difficult, what should I do with you - fake money!

94. I have always wanted to say three words to you, but you know its weight. I am afraid that once I say it, we will not even be friends. But I couldn't control my feelings and mustered up the courage to say to you: You are a pig!

95. In my longing, I asked the swan geese and the bright moon and the spring breeze a thousand and ten thousand times. May the swan geese bring my attachment to you; may the bright moon bring my greetings to you; may the spring breeze carry me I send you my concern!

96. "nhz! hom" means you can't guess or understand it. If you look carefully, you still can't see it? Do you know pinyin? There must be a limit to your stupidity. Turn your phone upside down and look at it.

97. I know you care about hygiene. You wash your hands every time you go to the toilet, and wash them very carefully. Suddenly you didn't wash your hands. I was surprised: Why didn't you wash your hands? You replied: I brought paper this time!

98. I miss you so much! Oops, I accidentally sent it by mistake. I sent it anyway. If you accept it, just save it. If you don’t accept it, please send these four words back to me. Thank you!

99. Hand over all your wages, including unplanned ones; contract all leftovers, including sour ones; do all housework, including those at your mother-in-law’s house; report your thoughts every day, including those that occur in a flash.

100. A bean fell down and became discouraged and depressed. This bean is me, what can encourage it to stand up? The answer is you! Because there is something called "Pig Encouragement Beans".