Friends funny feature SMS

1, the golden rooster descended to earth, a Spring Festival was celebrated all over the country, and compatriots on both sides of the strait were reunited. In the past 30 years, guests and friends from all corners of the country have gathered together to celebrate their sixtieth birthday for seven days, which is a complete year!

The bell rang all over the world, and the New Year train started on time. It has been an unforgettable year, and another hot year has come. I wish you a happy new year, all the best and all your wishes come true!

3. Mr. Lu Xun said that there is no road under your feet, and more people will become roads. I also want to say that friendship does not exist, but frequent contact has produced friendship. I wish you a happy Spring Festival, and don't forget to keep in touch!

4. Stars in the sky, praying with my Christmas Eve; Beating candlelight, swaying the wish of Christmas Eve; The long bell conveys my New Year wishes, and gently sends a greeting: I wish you happiness, peace and happiness.

At this time of year, my blessing comes to you like the sea. I hope my blessing will be like a canoe, riding the wind and waves to reach the other side of success! Happy new year to you all! Everything is fine! Happy family! Rich! Congratulations on getting rich!

6. A wonderful life is carefree because of friends, proud of achievements, warm because of family, happy because of lovers, excited because of hope and enriched because of health. In short, I wish you all the best and a happy Spring Festival!

7. Fame is given by everyone, status is spelled by brothers, and the Spring Festival is coming. On behalf of friends in the Jianghu, I wish you a happy holiday! I'll arrange for them to send all the text messages you received in the future. I keep a low profile. Don't be polite to me.

8. Don't get angry if you are bored tomorrow; Don't frown when you are bored; Don't cry when it hurts; Do not allow sadness; Loneliness is to find friends, trouble is to find happiness; Don't ask me why, Spring Festival is for fun. Happy spring festival!

9. Tomorrow is a brand-new beginning. No matter how the world changes, no matter how time and space flow, my blessing will never change: Happy and healthy New Year! Hehe, happy Spring Festival!

10, silently thinking deeply, silently missing each other, silently blessing the truest, silently caring for forever, silently waiting for the arrival of the Spring Festival, silently wishing the Spring Festival a happy, reunion and joy!

1 1. I heard that you have been awesome recently. Putin will help you get off the plane, Bush will be your driver, Madonna will accompany you up the stairs, Kim Hee Seon will roast your chicken, Andy Lau will take out the garbage, and even I will send you a text message. Happy National Day!

12, I thought I knew you the first time I saw you. I have never said anything so certain. You may not believe it, but it's true. You really look like my ... lost pig! Haha, happy National Day!

13, listen! I want to chase you! I thought you were! I have been looking for you! I will seize this opportunity! I must catch up with you! Dead flies! Happy National Day!

14, I dreamed of you last night and sent you home. We walked towards a beautiful building. As you said, you ran in. I looked at your figure and saw that it said mental hospital. Happy National Day!

15. On our friendship journey, sometimes you can't see me by your side. It's not that I forgot you, much less. But I choose to walk behind you. When you accidentally fall, I will run ... step on my foot! Haha, happy National Day!

16. Standing on the balcony that day, you enjoyed the drizzle and thought about the rough life. Your face is wet with sour, bitter and salty taste. Is it rain or tears? You look up at the sky. Wow, whose mop? Happy National Day!

17. Beggars beg along the street with monkeys. He told monkeys to laugh when they should, cry when they should, bow when they should, and read text messages when they should. Hehe, happy National Day!

18, Wukong, you clean the glass; Friar Sand, mop the floor. Bajie, the master knows your situation very well, and after careful consideration, he decided to give you a chance to show it-after reading this message, hurry to clean the girls' toilet. Happy National Day!

19, on this full moon night, Chang 'e said to me: She will go down to find you, give you a beauty treatment, and let you restore your original beauty! Are you ready? Pig, stop texting and ask you a question! Happy Mid-Autumn Festival and National Day!

20. Thank you for your acquaintance in this life. I'm fascinated by you. I am sure that you are the love of my life. Without you, my life is bleak. How much I need you, come back to me: RMB! Happy National Day!

2 1, the importance of learning, your understanding is not deep enough, I have a deep understanding. I heard that you are often absent-minded and doze off in class, which can't be done! Look at me, I have never dozed off in class since I was crazy!

22. Yesterday, "pointing the deer at the horse" and today, "flattering", often "single-handedly", occasionally "recruiting", abandoning "childhood friends", making friends who are neither donkey nor horse, "mentally" going to work and "being a dog and a horse" after work, is simply "blind"

23. During the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period, you were the commander in chief, wearing a pot cover, carrying a sack, hanging a plastic bag around your waist, holding a can and two Chinese cabbages. You were so cute when you rushed in and shouted, who has broken bottles to sell?

24. From a distance, you are a beautiful woman who smiles shyly in the wind. On closer inspection, it turned out that the old demon was playing tricks; From a distance, you are a handsome guy who dances gracefully, but from a close distance, it is difficult for Bajie to have a complete face. It's the weekend, don't scare me to sleep!

25. The meaning of your life is: eat well and sleep well; Your regrets in this life are: you didn't lose your body fat; Your greatest contribution in this life is: you can't have stewed vermicelli on the dining table! Humans will always be grateful to you!

26, beautiful you are cute, love to eat meat often drops, fat you and I still love, you save is glorious, waste is shameful. Everything in the bowl should be dripped after eating, but there is no need to lick the bowl clean every time!

27. Mo Wen, a hero since ancient times, said that no matter what age hooligans are in the world, life may be hard to be confused and all kinds of dreams have long been numb. Friends for many years deserve to be cared for. I'll tell you my true feelings. Dude, don't always get up in the middle of the night and climb trees.

28. A puppy whispered to a mouse, Do you like me? The mouse said affectionately, I really like you. You can read text messages and pretend to be human.

29. The cockroach met an angel, and the angel said to the cockroach, What wish can I help you realize? Cockroach spoke his mind: I want to get my favorite, which is this pile of shit reading materials.

30, you are really not smart enough, and your nose is like an old fritter; Eyes like red pepper; Eyebrows are like two knives; Walk on both sides; Like a crab, still drunk.

3 1, I heard that your model of mobile phone is extremely radioactive, and I just want to inform you that people with IQ below 20 can't use it. Go use it! So congratulations, you don't have to worry about anything.

32. I can't see clearly, not because of poor eyesight, but because the pixels in my eyes are too low. Listening to the sound is very vague, not because of poor hearing, but because the eardrum is not well penetrated. There is little daily contact, and the signal is not good. I'm afraid you can't stand frequent harassment! Dude, what's going on?

I gave you my phone number. Why don't you understand my mind? You should charge me some phone bills if you have nothing to do.

34. I have been married to my wife for more than ten years, and the romantic period has been very long! In the morning, I suddenly said to my wife, "Let's talk about love again. You pretend you don't know me." The wife said, "All right!" I said to her, "Hi! Little bitch ~ "Who knows this product slapped me as soon as it raised its hand, and cursed:" Dare to harass my aunt, I'm tired of talking to you! "

35. Today, my girlfriend and I had a quarrel ... very fierce. Later, I went online and stopped arguing with her. She gave a good scolding. I silently opened tb and found the dress 1200 yuan that she always wanted to buy. I asked her to come over after placing the order. Seeing the computer, the naive girl immediately froze: Uncle, I was wrong! Epiphany! ! ! A woman's mood is three points doomed, and seven points depend on shopping!

I told my boyfriend that I would buy him a pair of trousers. He joked that Armani's pants were only 999, and they were limited-time discount. Don't miss it ~ I said calmly, it's almost the same to look at Armani backwards. . . .

37. Q: When a woman asks how many girlfriends you have, what do you say? A: Five ~ the first one loves you ~ the second one is you now ~ the third one is my child's fucking you ~ the fourth one likes to lose his temper with me during menopause ~ the fifth one helps you with me ~

38. My best friend is very independent and has a small chest. She often calls herself her brother. One day, when her boyfriend asked for a bath, she thought for a moment and said, "We took off our clothes and stood together, which is the Haier brothers. Do you think there will be feelings? " After hearing this, my boyfriend silently walked into the bathroom …

39. My girlfriend suddenly called me: Honey, I'm pregnant. I am: in all kinds of excitement ... She: I'm sorry that the baby is not yours ... I: Fuck you, she: it's ours ... Then she hung up, and now she knelt outside and asked for forgiveness. ...

40. My wife and I have a cold war. In the evening, she went to bed angrily. After I went to bed in the dark, a pair of super cold feet covered my legs and * * *. All right, I'll put up with it. But remember, there is no lower limit for a married man to be angry with your wife. After a few minutes, when these feet are warm, give me a decisive push and give me a "go away"! ~

4 1, I can't resist your temptation. When I was in close contact with you, you gave me an indescribable feeling that the earth was spinning. I really want to have a big fight with you, but I'm afraid of getting pregnant ... dear beer.

42. Men's comments: Miss Pao should be elegant, hold the bed with hardness, undress pants with length, touch the humidity carefully, * * * pursue depth, want to master the speed comfortably, increase the strength, and * * * keep the temperature!

43, new female motto: hard work and plain living, * * * underwear! Polite, no bra! Five stresses and four beauties, open your thighs! Learn from Lei Feng and betray your husband! Keep pace with the times and get it done at any time! Running towards a well-off society is * * *!

44. A woman urinated in the toilet, and a drunk went by mistake. Hearing the sound of urinating, she said, don't pour it, I really don't drink it! The woman was so frightened that she didn't dare to pee any more. She couldn't hold back and farted. The drunkard said, * * *, why open another bottle!

45. Career is like an airplane, work is like a wedding night, success is like a child's penis, wealth is like a growing income, and people are like an old lady.

46. I am the oak tree in front of your window, the book at hand when I shed tears for the first time, the candle you watch in spring night, and the bright clothes you wear in autumn (it's cold, don't freeze)!

47, if there is no moon, I can not miss you; If there is no sun, I can not care about you. But how can I forget you because of the reincarnation of the sun and the moon!

48. Rice is a mother and a flower because of peanuts. Amy's father is a butterfly because she likes flowers recently. Amy's grandmother is a wonderful pen, because wonderful pen gives birth to flowers, and Amy's grandfather is popcorn, because he reported Amy holding flowers. Who is Naomi's husband? (Mice, because mice love rice)

49. I looked at your sexy body that day, twisted in front of me and gently stroked your skin. I can't resist your temptation: boss, I want this fish!

50. You are happy because I am happy, I am happy because you are happy, I am sad because you are thin, I am thin because you are sick, I smile because you are strong, and I am rich because I sold you. ............................................................................................

5 1, I was very nervous at the first time. He kept telling me to relax gently, and then he stuck it in my body. It's bleeding there, and I can't cry out in pain. Only then did I understand ... blood donation is like this!

52, zero, bar, he exchanged eyes with her. At one o'clock, in the bar, they exchanged business cards. At two o'clock, in the hotel, they exchanged bodies. At six o'clock in the morning, I left the hotel and found that my wallet had also been changed.

53. Xiao Lv asked the old donkey: Why do we eat hay every day, while cows eat concentrated feed? The old donkey sighed, we can't compete with others. We eat by running errands, and others eat by breasts!

54. Couples met in the street, and the woman flew over and hugged the man and said, Hurry up ... The man panicked and said, Are you embarrassed? In front of so many people! The woman said: Are you embarrassed? Zip up your pants in front of so many people

55. A boss sleeps with his lover. The phone rang, and the lover answered: The subscriber you dialed is drunk! When I came home the next day, my wife swore: How much wine did you drink yesterday? Even the mobile company knows.

56. fall in love! Happy! Spend a lot of money from now on! Get married! Cool! From now on, someone is in charge! Divorced! Free! Say something about spending money! Aids! Be silly! Lie in bed and die!

57. In literature class, the teacher called a sleepy classmate to answer questions. The classmate was in a daze and couldn't say anything ... The teacher said, "Is that okay?"? I won't scream either! " Classmate: "Cheep."

58. You look very abstract! You look hazy! You look fuzzy! You look very ... strange! Give me a break. I really can't describe you. I have never seen a ghost.

59. Women are big meals, and the temptation is irresistible. Once you move the chopsticks, you will be trapped from now on! A woman is a mobile phone. Once she has it, she not only needs to charge, but also has a signal, and most importantly, she has to pay the phone bill!

60. Life is like playing mahjong. Love at first sight is tian hu, free love is Woody, and the media agreement is Pinghu. Seducing men is called grabbing bars, giving birth to children is called flowering, lovers are called hanging, and no lovers are called whiteboards!

Finishing: zhl20 1702