How would you handle it when someone with whom you have no friendship suddenly informs you to attend his child's wedding?

I have encountered such invitations three times. The first time was when a fellow from a province whom I had heard of but had never met invited me to attend his son’s wedding with an invitation. As soon as the person who sent the invitations came in, I saw that he was holding a large stack of invitations in his hand. He told me with a smile, "Lao Zhang invites you to drink." I asked him which Lao Zhang, and he said it was from a certain organization. Lao Zhang. As soon as I heard the name, I flatly rejected it. I said, I have never seen what his old man looks like. He doesn’t know me and I don’t know him. How could he invite me? Has he never seen money? The person who sent the invitation blushed. Because it was he who provided my information to that fellow villager.

The reason why I refused to attend this person’s son’s wedding is not only that I have never met him, but also that although we are from the same province, his hometown and mine are more than a thousand miles apart, and even their accents are different. Not much of a fellow countryman. With a simple life, who would go to the wedding of a stranger’s son?

The second time was with a fellow from the same county, but I had only met him once in the Northeast for more than 30 years and had not spoken a few words. If he hadn’t called Come to me, I can't even remember this person. One day, I suddenly received a phone call from a stranger. He spoke Mandarin with a southern accent and a northern accent. I heard that it was the accent of our fellow villagers who cannot speak Mandarin well. I asked him who he was, and he said he was Sun Moumou. Although I had an impression of his name before, it became too unfamiliar after a long time. I said, why is your name so strange? He took the initiative to introduce that he was from my hometown, eighty miles away from my hometown, and which unit he worked in. Then he told me very enthusiastically that his daughter was getting married and he hoped I could attend. As fellow villagers, we can understand each other only if we move around each other and have regular contact. On the day of his daughter's wedding, when I appeared in front of him, he had no idea who I was. After I introduced myself, he grabbed my hand tightly and said thank you several times. Later, we started to communicate.

The third time, it was a colleague who was my workplace thirty years ago and a competitor. In the competition for one position at a time, he used despicable means to steal and destroy my professional qualification certificate, causing me to lose a chance for promotion. Although I didn't do anything to him, I was determined not to have anything to do with him again. Therefore, there was no contact for nearly thirty years. One day, I suddenly received a strange phone call. He said that he was Yang XX. As soon as I heard his voice, I became angry, but I didn't have an attack at that time, so I still held the phone and listened to what he said.

He told me that his daughter was going to join the army and wanted to get together with some old comrades. Moreover, he also told me that it was the most exclusive hotel in the city. We had not interacted with each other for thirty years and hoped to rekindle our old friendship together. I asked mentally, what old relationship do I have to talk about with you? Apart from the bad things you did, I really can't remember any friendship between you and me. Even though I had no intention of going in the first place, I didn’t say no on the phone. I responded to his invitation with just a few "oh"s. On the day of the party, I didn't go at all.

Eight months later, I heard that he was ill and hospitalized. I heard from others that just because I didn't go, he was so angry that his throat was swollen and he couldn't speak. I said, why is he so angry? I have no friendship with him, so why does he value this invitation so much? If we had known today, why bother in the beginning? Did he ever think about the bad things he did that would hurt me?

Someone with whom I have no friendship suddenly notifies me to attend his child’s wedding. I have two ways to deal with it. One is a person in my life with whom I have no close friendship, maybe just having a meal together. , in this case, I will refuse. Another situation is that among colleagues in a unit, in many cases, they can only choose to share the money without being present.

Once when I was having dinner with a friend, during the middle of the meal, a friend of my friend happened to be eating too. Out of politeness, my friend asked him to sit down. Through my friend’s introduction, we were also included. We got to know each other. During the dinner, he once mentioned that he was going to get married. At that time, I thought he was just saying it casually. However, what I didn’t expect was that within two days, he actually called me. , asked me to go to a wedding banquet. I agreed on the phone because of my friend’s face, but on the wedding day, I chose not to attend because I felt that the friendship between us was too shallow and it was just a drinking party. Sometimes I feel that such people are really thick-skinned, and they can talk about such a friendship that lasted only a year. Of course, maybe they are more hospitable!

Facing people from different departments in the same unit, we often encounter such embarrassing situations. Even though we can’t say a few words in a year, we always have to talk about weddings and funerals at home, etc. Followers, and because there are many people and many things to do, they need about several thousand yuan every year. Some people are transferred away, and some people are transferred here. Unfortunately, maybe this is the sophistication of Chinese people. These people cannot pay. Maybe it’s really hard to tell!

Therefore, I think this kind of thing should be treated as it should be. If the relationship is deep enough, you will go without being invited. If the friendship is very shallow, it is okay not to go.

I once encountered a very embarrassing gift-giving incident.

A former colleague whom I had not contacted for a long time said that she was getting married. We worked together for only about three months, and then she left her job and we have not socialized with her since.

I went to her wedding with my three-year-old child that day. When I arrived at the wedding venue, I greeted her politely, gave her a red envelope, and after saying a few words, I prepared to take my seat and waited for the banquet to begin.

While we were still chatting, an elder suddenly came over and gave my child a red envelope with a smile on his face. The child accepted the red envelope and said happily, "Thank you, grandma!"

At that time, the colleague immediately lost her temper. She said, "Mom, that's my former colleague." Her mother immediately said, "Ah." I just stood there, it didn't matter if I returned the red envelope, it didn't matter if I didn't return it, it was so embarrassing that I didn't want it.

Later, I only made an excuse, saying that I had something to do and might not be able to have a banquet. She didn’t even politely try to persuade me to stay.

I really don’t know if I wanted to attend her wedding because I wanted the money, or if I sincerely wanted to share the happiness with all of us.

After this experience, I have become very indifferent to the marriage of friends or colleagues with whom I have not been in contact for a long time. Generally speaking, it depends on how I was invited.

Usually when people notify me in this way, I usually say my best wishes to the other person first, and then check to see if they have time. After a few days, I will give an excuse and say I don’t have time. I won’t follow the money.

There are a lot of things to do in planning a wedding. Maybe you didn’t meet me when you sent the invitations to me, so I asked my colleagues to help with them. In this way, I usually follow the rules and give as much as everyone else gives. I won't go to the wedding reception either.

In this case, I usually go to her wedding. There are actually friends or colleagues who have restored contact because of such an opportunity.

In fact, everyone will feel baffled by the sudden "red explosive", but there is nothing they can do about it.

If you don’t think it’s necessary, and you’re not that familiar with it, don’t waste your money, as there may not be any intersection in the future.

But some friends got along well with you when they met, but later drifted away, so go and bless them. After all, we all know each other.

For such an incident, it depends on what you think.

, there is no friendship, and it often happens that we give gifts after receiving invitations.

More than 20 years ago, by chance, I went to Shenzhen to work for four years. After getting some money back home, I bought land in the town and built a three-story house. . This was quite good at the time, and had a certain sensational effect in the village of about a hundred households. After the house was completed, guests were invited. Young people of similar age in the village were among those invited.

It should be noted that I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. I originally planned to invite only some of my close friends to participate. After I finished writing the invitations, I re-examined it and felt that people in the same village spent their hours reading, playing, and We grew up wearing open-cut trousers together, so we can’t favor one over the other. Based on this consideration, I finally wrote all the invitations. But on the day of drinking, two friends who were close friends on weekdays were not there. What was surprising was that three elementary school classmates from the next village who had no friendship and did not send invitations came to join in the fun. There were many other people...

After careful analysis afterwards, I felt that there was some truth in it. When receiving the invitation, those who did not attend the wedding banquet also had their own considerations. When the new house was completed, two close friends from the same village did not come to attend. There were probably some reasons: First, they felt that they were okay at the time. , I never expected that a loser like me would become so prosperous in just a few years, surpassing them, and actually build a small building in the town! It’s hard to accept, and I’m totally unconvinced. Secondly, it shows that they have low self-esteem, because their parents are better than my parents. One is an accountant in the brigade, and the other is a famous carpenter in our area. And my parents are old farmers who are honest and can't make a living with three shots and don't say a word all day long... Various reasons have caused them to feel unbalanced, feel that they are at a disadvantage, and feel inferior! There were also three elementary school classmates from the next village who came uninvited, which really flattered me. They also had a lot of money with them, which was a sign of "attachment". They unilaterally thought that I was getting rich, and they used this to get closer to me. Maybe you can get some benefits from me...

I actually have a hard time telling you that I was forced to build a house in the town. It turned out that the land area of ??the adobe house was small, and the land at the door was less than 30 square meters. The dirt house is not only ventilated on all sides, but also has a roof that is close to collapse. Every spring and summer when it rains, "the bedside is wet and leaks, and there is no place to dry, and the rain is like hemp on the feet." The wife has to bring ten pots of bowl every time. He confessed with a sad face that to build the house this time, his wife borrowed 20,000 yuan from his brother and Shumei, who were civil servants. In order to pay off the debt, after my wife built a house, she went to Shenzhen to work alone for two consecutive years. She didn't even come home during the Spring Festival...

It seems that I went a bit far, maybe I thought too much, but having said that, through The exchanges of rituals in rural areas can provide a glimpse of all living beings in rural society, and reflect the fact that the warmth and coldness of the world are indisputable...

Life flies by so fast. Over the years, the young people in those days are now in their fifties. Middle-aged and elderly people with gray hair. The situation has changed fundamentally over the past twenty years. Of those two friends, one now owns a restaurant in the county town and the other works as a construction foreman. They both bought houses in the county town and are living a comfortable life. When their children got married, invitations were sent to them. After reading the invitations, my wife said: How can I be so embarrassed to send invitations now that I have not been polite to each other for so many years? ! Although it was true, I still accepted the gift in the end. One moment, another moment! Friends from the same village can't stay away from each other forever!

What I particularly want to confess is that three elementary school classmates from the next village who came to give me uninvited gifts discovered my true situation within a few years after my house was built, and they never interacted with me again. I have no interaction. They may think that it is nothing more than a short-lived wealth! No need for deep friendship! And I often feel a little apologetic, after all, I owe others a gift!

I met a comrade this year. I just got in touch with him a few years ago when his eldest child got married. I went along with the ceremony. He was a village official, and in order to circumvent the eight-point rule for party members, he divided the banquet over several days. We went there on the same day, and another comrade treated us to a simple meal, and he was also in the restaurant at the time. He didn't even come to offer a toast. In the afternoon, when he was in charge, I immediately told him that something happened. This year I asked another comrade to send a text message (unsigned group message) saying that his second child was getting married, and I was determined not to give him a hard time. It's irritating to think about it. He is from Wuhan (Xinzhou), and I am from Wuhan (I am the only Wuhan soldier in the company). He organized a gathering of comrades from my company in Wuhan and didn't notify me? Later, other comrades informed me that I rushed there and brought a car to pick up people for the party. I also shared the cost with everyone (our soldiers from Hubei are the host, and those from other places are free). But he only wanted other comrades to treat him and a few of them to go. , he thought of me when he wanted to treat guests and needed to share beach fees. Is it great for you to be a village official? I don’t care if you take care of me. Besides, we have several comrades from Wuhan who have been in contact for so many years since they came back and we get along like brothers. It’s not surprising that I’m missing you.

My child just got married. After seeing the gift list, I may have some insights.

It all depends on the person and their financial situation. One of my classmates is in a very poor financial situation. His wife is gone and he has two children. When my child got married, he received a gift of 200 yuan. I think it is more precious than 500 yuan. I have known the father-in-law of a relative of mine for a long time, and we have this relationship. When his wife died, I accepted the gift and helped for a day. When the child got married, he didn’t come. Later, I heard from a friend that he didn’t get invitations from anyone else. After all, his elders have passed away, his children are all married, he has nothing to do, and he no longer pays out. The leader of my work unit whom I was not very familiar with heard that his child was getting married and sent him a gift. I felt very grateful to him. I know so many people now, but I didn't know them at the beginning. From following the gift to asking them to follow the gift, I want to be absolutely equal, but it won't happen. There will always be losses. If you don't treat someone you don't know well, you can do whatever you want. If you don't, you'll be cut off forever.

I married my brother, and apart from relatives, we are also our friends. When we get married, we have to discuss with him how many seats we need to reserve. He has a lot of friends, and he was quite famous in society when he was young. We all know each other, but my father, the head of the family, is the boss. I was very afraid of him. After asking several times, he said no, no need to stay. Then my brother and I decided to reserve a table! The cost for a table is 3,000, so it’s a pity to leave too much. As a result, he sent a group text message the day before the wedding. The next day, 4 to 50 friends came, which made my brother and I bored. He didn't even know he was hiding from the mahjong shop. The uncle who came yelled at me, "What the hell is your father doing? Why don't you send a text message to your child when he gets married?" Brother, the groom, I am in charge of the wedding. In the countryside! It’s exhausting to contact me right away to deliver food and tables. Finally got through it. Later, when I got married, I asked him how many tables he wanted. He still said no one would come. I'm considering 2 tables! In the end, none of them came, which was a big loss for me