Joke Daquan laughs till his stomach hurts.

1. When I was ten years old, my PE teacher said to me, "Exercise for one hour every day, and as long as you persist for fifty years, you can live to be sixty."

2, today's exam, just two minutes after handing out the paper, my roommate handed it in, and I was bored. I have to copy this for 20 minutes. When I came back, I asked him, how did you hand it in so soon? My roommate said, "I read it once, but I'm sure it will pass, so I'll hand in my papers and leave."

I bought a refrigerator. As soon as I entered the store, I said, "Haier! Haier! " Hearing this, the waiter said stupefied, "Father, father, what do you want?" The waiter is also very hard!

When I come home at night, my wife wants to smell my clothes as soon as she grabs them. I was frightened and quickly explained, "I had dinner with my friends today, and I definitely don't smell like a woman!" " Unexpectedly, she slapped me in the face and said, "It smells like hot pot. You don't even invite me to eat hot pot! "

5. Two turtles chat: "Why do some animals become sperm after thousands of years, but we haven't become sperm for thousands of years?" "We are experts." "Really, why didn't I know?" "You idiot! Can you talk before you become sperm? "

6. A couple in our class quarreled. That woman is very beautiful, arguing not to sit with that male classmate. The man said: you change, you change, don't sit down. The woman cried and shouted to him, "even if I sit with the ugliest in the class, I won't sit with you!" "Then he came up to me.

7. Girls are small and fresh in front of relatives, quiet in front of outsiders, neurotic in front of acquaintances, and female hooligans in front of girlfriends.

8. People who have girlfriends are called New Year's Eve, and you can stay up all night at most.

9. Once I was stared at by a big dog on the road, I ran, and the more I ran, the more I chased. At this moment, the dog owner behind me shouted: Get down! I wonder if the dog is afraid of people squatting down, so it squats down. Sure enough, the dog didn't catch up. Turn around and the dog crouches behind. The dog owner smiled and said, I'm sorry, young man, I said the dog.

10, driving out to play with some friends, suddenly a dog ran in front of the car, scaring the driving friend to brake quickly. He suddenly put down his glass and shouted at the dog, asshole, I'm your mother. At this time, another friend in the car said leisurely, it tastes really heavy.