Funny comic dialogue script

Selling Spring Festival couplets (Peak, 10th Anniversary Edition of Yunping in Lu 'an)

G: Thank you for your guidance and wonderful introduction.

Luan: Great.

G: Fish farmers talk to drivers. Among the drivers, I think your cross talk is good.

Luan: What's the next sentence?

G: In aquaculture, my level is OK. Anyway, what the headmaster said is not as good as what I said.

Luan: He won't.

G: It's all true. Just now, the two young actors played very hard and showed superb skills.

Luan: It is not easy.

G: But this thing is also natural. This has his natural factors. The early conditions are good. People who speak cross talk are like this. They must have certain conditions. First of all, they must be smart.

Luan: That's a must.

High: quick response,

Luan: sensitive,

G: I have to make it clear, but these conditions are all said by the comedian standing here. How's this? What I say is either confusion or our image. Do you think it's okay to stand inside? Right? Otherwise, there is something wrong with your leg. Get in the way. Come out and show everyone.

Luan: You have to learn a Z book to learn to drive.

G: stepless speed change is possible.

Luan: The picture of Ouriou you just said is really confusing. They are all crosstalk performers from other places.

Oh, and you?

Luan: I'm different, I'm smart!

G: You are better than all of them?

Luan: Yes,

G: But it depends on who you look at. Look here. Look at me. You're finished. You are worthless.

Luan: You are better than me?

G: Better than you? I went to see someone with you. There was a corner in the opera house just now.

Luan: Who?

G: Zhu Gouming,

Luan: Zhuge Liang, you didn't use this word in the play just now.

G: Zhuge Liang, do you know this man?

Luan: Why don't you know?

G: Do you accept it?

Luan: Here.

G: Take Zhuge Liang for example? It's over. We're through. If you take Zhuge Liang, we will be finished.

Luan: What's the matter?

G: You see me as if you saw him.

Luan: Really? Are you Zhuge Liang?

G: I'm Zhuge Liang. Why? I am more capable than him!

Luan: You are more capable than Zhuge Liang?

G: that's right. This is the ability. We are more capable than Zhuge Liang. What does Zhuge Liang know? And Yang know gossip, Xiao Qimen knows how to hide armor. Isn't it like this when you are strategizing and winning thousands of miles away?

Luan: It's not easy.

G: We can do it. Here we are. Besides, I can be smart with one hand, but I can't. Can you prove that we are more capable than him?

Luan: Listen, look,

G: Listen, we will, well, he won't.

Luan: What did you say?

G: It's called a trip to the Monument. Listen to this word,

Luan: This is an allusion, you know? There is such a monument on the roadside, riding a fast horse, and the horse went over and wrote the inscription.

G: Oh, I wrote an inscription as soon as the horse passed by. That's hard. This can't be compared.

Luan: The rider wrote an inscription. What's the use of writing down horses?

G: Ma Ji! Oh, the man on horseback wrote the inscription, and we are more capable than him.

Luan: You?

G: Let me ask you something. Is the train fast? Is the horse fast?

Luan: Of course the train is fast.

G: This train is very fast. We can see the monument by train.

Luan: You?

G: Don't take the local train, take the express train! From Beijing to Tianjin, we get up at 9: 20 in the morning, and the intercity express takes 74 minutes to go directly to Tianjin Railway Station. We sat on the train, next to the window. The train went forward and there was a monument by the roadside. The train passed by and the inscription was written down!

Luan: What does the inscription say?

G: Langfang.

Luan: What do you mean? That word is bigger than you!

G: We know its past, Lang Fang.

Luan: What is the upside-down message?

G: Can you believe it?

Luan: What should I bring? Didn't you see Yang Cun?

G: This is for the toilet.

Luan: Oh, what do you have here?

G: Don't look down on me. It's too exaggerated. It's true. I learned a lot, read a lot of books, learned a lot of words and learned a lot about Si Er.

Luan: What do you know?

G: Si Er, I haven't learned Pinyin. Silk, silk (two voices), silk (three voices), Si Er.

Luan: Silk, silk, silk, Si Er? Many things are also from Si Er.

G: I know a lot of things, but there is nothing else in my stomach. It is all knowledge. I have books in my stomach, and we have special features here.

Luan: What are the characteristics?

G: I can feel it. How are you? Do you believe it?

Luan: Not really.

G: no, I can't. Touch it, (holding Luan's hand)

Luan: (behind the handle) We don't know how much this thing of yours costs.

G: of course,

Luan: Voluntary? Come on, then,

G: Touch, touch, say this is a combination of Chinese and English. Touch, step?

Luan: You said, I don't understand this.

G: Ah, did you touch it?

Luan: I touched it.

G: What?

Luan: ribs.

G: Yes, yes, yes. What are the ribs for?

Luan: Isn't this one-sided?

G: Is this single-edged? One book at a time.

Luan: Is there a bookshelf?

G: Hardcover books, not bookshelves, are stacked together, one by one, you know?

Luan: The size is quite uniform.

G: Hi, Sister Ma.

Luan: Is everything here?

G: What you said is not true. Come on, Oulu,

Luan: I know Si Er very well, but who wants to work in our country?

Gao: Romance of the Three Kingdoms,

Luan: No.

Gao: Water Margin,

Luan: No.

G: Journey to the West,

Luan: (shaking his head).

G: The story of A Dream of Red Mansions. Where did you buy all the books? Next time, you can buy some genuine ones. Hey, do you have five classics?

Luan: No,

G: four books?

Luan: (waving) No.

G: No, no, you have feelings. Your eyes tell me.

Luan: Did I see you? My eyes?

G: Touch fourth uncle again. Touch fourth uncle well.

Luan: No,

G: Touch your fourth uncle again.

Luan: (hands in the air) Touch your second uncle.

G: Don't make friends like this. Too bad, you know? Put your heart here.

Luan: Who is bad? You used me,

G: Who takes advantage of whom? Who takes advantage of who?

Luan: You touch fourth uncle,

G: Let me introduce you to the knowledge in my stomach. What fourth uncle? Five Classics and Four Books. Learn Aria. University, the golden mean, going to the Analects of Confucius, going to the Analects of Confucius, going to Mencius and going to Mencius are six books. Together, they are called four books. You got it? I'll let you touch my knowledge, but you can be good (put Luan's hand on your head) and touch Mr. Zhong on your specialty.

Luan: Where? Make a copy, right? You are not in pain!

G: That's what I mean. This is what I hate.

Luan: Have you read those books?

G: Tell me something about my knowledge. I can't even cough when I walk.

Luan: What?

G: As soon as I cough, I pop out of my nose and eyes.

Luan: Your nose and eyes are too big.

G: What do you care? Flexible, I jumped all over the floor that day, and the comprehensive law enforcement officers copied it for me. He thinks I sell pirated books. Never mind that, objective facts prove that we are knowledgeable and best at poetry, especially I am best at poetry. I have written many poems, which is not easy.

Luan: Can you write this poem?

Hey, compose, write, direct, act,

Luan: Until I went blind,

G: Is there a problem? Rehearse and perform on the stage.

Luan: Can you still sing this poem? It's hard.

G: What are the difficulties?

Luan: Poetry,

G: What poem? What? Which hymn? Which hymn?

Luan: slutty?

G: After three levels, this person sings, sings, sings. On the edge of the mouth, there is a saying that today, you can be a singer and sing as a poem, understand? Xu Gao: What about Deliang? How capable you are,

Luan: From Peking University,

G: Seeing this, I give up. He can't, stand aside,

Luan: Can't this Peking University work?

G: Although he was expelled from Peking University,

Luan: What do you mean by dismissal?

G: anyway, that's how it came about.

Luan: I graduated, really,

G: I'm from Peking University. I am a fish farmer here. Let's do it with gestures.

Luan: You can definitely win by competing in the water.

G: Write. Did it snow one day last winter? It snows heavily. It was after eight o'clock in the morning. As soon as I saw it, oh, it was snowing. This is a beautiful scene. I can't waste it. Come on, put the paper on the table, pick up the pen, turn on the desk lamp and start writing.

Luan: Hey, wait a minute. It's eight o'clock in the morning. Why are you still turning on the light?

G: I live in the basement, and the conditions of literary writers are very poor. You know, truly capable people can't make money.

Luan: You are writing in the basement.

G: I wrote in the basement, turned on the light, wrote, and wrote a poem, Ode to Snow. I heard that this name is very elegant.

Report | 2007-09-19 reply at 09: 35

Luan: Yes,

G: how are you? There is another biggest feature of my poetry,

Luan: What are the characteristics?

G: praise the snow.

Luan: This is very difficult.

G: It's called Ode to Snow, and it's about the snow scene, but there is not a word of snow in the whole poem, and it's very deep.

Luan: It's too difficult.

G: Of course,

Luan: What format do you have here?

G: I have a seven-character quatrain.

Luan: Seven-character quatrains,

Do you understand quatrains? What do you mean?

Luan: seven words are quatrains, seven words are one line, one * * * four lines,

G: that's right. Seven words is one sentence, four sentences, four words, more than ninety words. Conceptually speaking,

Luan: What do you have in mind? More than ninety words are still conceived? Four, seven, twenty-eight words,

G: Yes, four, seven, three, eight,

Luan: Your ears are still not good. Let me tell you something.

G: 4,728 words. My idea is too clever to come here for nothing today. On the occasion of the 10th anniversary celebration, I will read it out and dedicate it to Degang Guo and his disciples.

Luan: You read aloud,

Gao: seven-character quatrains, the first sentence, it's dark,

Luan: It really didn't snow.

G: It was cloudy and cloudy before it snowed, and it's going to rain soon.

Luan: No five. That's not right. You've forgotten all eight words.

G: Really? Wait a minute (counting with your fingers, it's dark and rumbling), right, eight-character quatrains,

Luan: Eight-character quatrains? I heard wrong,

G: What I told you was a four-character quatrain, 489 16.

Luan: four eight three two,

G: No matter how many, eight words are quatrains.

Luan: In a word,

G: elegance is like throwing white flour down.

Luan: It didn't snow either.

G: elegance is like, like white flour around, wow,

Luan: You still have seven words.

Gao: (count your fingers and throw them down gracefully like white flour) Yes, seven-character quatrains,

Luan: Isn't this a quatrain?

G: Who told you that? Seven-character quatrains, as elegant as white flour, are just right?

Luan: Your third sentence?

G: In a word, the tomb is as big as steamed bread.

Luan: Not this time. Too much. The grave is as big as steamed bread. Huh, how much money you got there? Otherwise you can sell it quickly.

G: Wait a minute, Grave. I don't count. It must be different from that. How many words?

Luan: You lost thirteen words.

G: The thirteen-character poem mentions a person, do you know? Xin Qiji wrote ci in ancient times.

Luan: Everyone is here.

G: Do you know this man?

Luan: Yes,

G: He has this book.

Luan: What book?

Do you know Jia He's short sentences? We should learn from others, and we should make long and short sentences.

Luan: Please pay attention to my eyes.

G: I don't care. This is called a word. Your knowledge, you don't know this,

Luan: What about typesetting?

G: But the fourth sentence must be as long as the third sentence.

Luan: Really? What about these four sentences?

G: The well is a big hole.

Luan: You go there for a walk, these five words.

G: Nonsense, I'm not finished yet. Can it be as long as usual? I hate this man. I have not finished my words yet. After that, the well is a big hole. No, the well is one of them. Tell me when you have enough time. This well is a big black hole.

Luan: That's enough. What are you doing here?

G: That's the design.

Luan: It's useless.

G: Who said that? Our knowledge is reflected here, and there is another major.

Luan: What are your specialties?

G: Yes, I am. Do you agree with anyone I arrest?

Luan: You are so tall, you will be killed, Yi Deng Quansheng.

G: I can write couplets, Spring Festival couplets and couplets, which is my best. I have another characteristic,

Luan: What are the characteristics?

G: improvise, no matter who has a topic. At that time, I wrote a pair of couplets, five here, five there, ten here, ten there, fifty here, fifty there, one thousand six hundred here and one thousand six hundred there.

Luan: This couplet doesn't have 1,600.

G: Generally, there are many words. What are their names?

Luan: horizontal batch,

G: I am kind to this son, but I am the most particular about this horizontal batch.

Luan: Can anyone give me a question? I'll give you one

G: I write couplets. Come on,

Luan: pancakes,

G: what's this?

Luan: Pancakes, for the pancake seller.

G: I can't write pancakes. Where will he post them after I finish writing? Stick it on pancakes? I can't eat,

Luan: Don't worry about it, that's the topic.

G: When listening to couplets, you have a round face and a thin face.

Luan: What do you mean?

G: Pancakes are spread with props. They are usually round and thin. If you screw a spoonful of noodles on the bracket, take that thing and call it a grate or a scraper. When it is scraped, it is a big pancake.

Luan: Are you downloading this?

High: more onions, less sauce, long rolls,

Luan: Tell me more about this.

G: You don't have to tell me. More onions, less sauce, onions are mostly for flavor, less sauce is afraid of salty, put crispy ones inside, such a roll, a big roll, this long word is a pun, that is, the length is long and the taste is tasted.

Luan: How clever.

High: more onions, less sauce, long rolls,

Luan: Horizontal approval?

G: The more you eat, the shorter it will be. (sideways, make pancakes with a fan, eat, and the fan comes out of the back of the head. )

Luan: Now that you're out, this silver gun stings your throat. The more you eat it, the shorter it gets.

G: Who said that? He eats more and more,

Luan: What?

G: snakes.

Luan: Oh, it must be Nokia's.

G: Of course, the more you eat, the longer it takes.

Luan: OK, please give one to the bathroom.

G: I let my couple hang up in the toilet.

Luan: Don't think so much. This is a topic.

G: Can I buy one in the toilet? In addition, people's toilets used to be right, so I'll write it again to gild the lily.

Luan: Is there a pair in the toilet?

G: of course. Haven't you noticed? Let me tell you something about the men's room and the women's room. I don't know. Please stand forward when urinating and squat in the pit.

Luan: Horizontal approval?

G: I came and went in a hurry.

Luan: You criticized more than the couplets. This is a slogan. You have to come again next time and do it yourself.

G: I grin when I hear the couplets.

Luan: What does this mean?

G: Why do you want to explain? Hold back, (learn to move)

Luan: nice! What is the bottom line?

G: Go out and see Shu Mei.

Luan: Horizontal approval?

G: keep secret and release oil.

Luan: Don't explain,

G: It's great that everyone knows.

Luan: My master made all this.

G: I explained it without explanation. I stood in the toilet with a fan and wrote four words "hide secrets and drain oil".

Luan: You give one to the audience.

G: Parents, this is a matter of course, but because of the time, we only need to write couplets to the audience, and we don't need to criticize them horizontally.

Luan: Oh, no, that's what I heard.

G: Listen to the online link first and invite you to have a good time here.

Luan: Downward?

G: Listen to our cross talk and have a good laugh.

Luan: Horizontal approval?

G: Cross-examination is good for both life and death.

Luan: How can this be so good?

G: because I'm afraid of being beaten,

Luan: You are also a reasonable person. Give yourself one.

G: After listening to online couplets, I was born with a scholar spirit. If I stop here, I will be a learned man with a book in my stomach. Feel it if you don't believe me.

Luan: I believe it! What about the next link?

G: I have learned a lot about economics. I am so knowledgeable that I dare not cough when I walk. When I cough, I spray my nose and eyes and jump out of the book.

Luan: You said it again.

G: I didn't hear those who just came in.

Luan: Audience. Say it again?

G: Don't you have to say something to stand here alone?

Luan: Do you criticize horizontally?

G: Horizontal reviews are popular with everyone. How practical it is,

Luan: You are so good now. Give me one.

G: I'll give you one about your cross talk.

Luan: Stop writing cross talk. I'm getting married soon.

G: Oh, it's a good thing to write about your marriage. After listening online, 100 many guests and friends congratulated you.

Luan: Well,

G: More than 100 relatives and friends sent congratulations.

Luan: Yes, this is your logoff?

G: The bride has two or three children.

Luan: Why are you still here with your children?

G: My horizontal batch is good.

Luan: What is horizontal approval?

G: be a father.

Luan: Fuck you!