What does the sentence "three surnames in one family" mean? Why did the ancients say that?

Every time I see families talking and laughing on the roadside, when everyone's face is filled with happiness, they will be infected by this happiness. A happy family will make every member feel loved and loved.

The ancients once said, "There is no room for three surnames in one family". What are the three surnames here?

There is no room for three surnames in a family.

Literally, this sentence means that in a family, family members cannot have more than three surnames, otherwise, many contradictions will arise. The "three" here is not a specific number, but represents three or more.

The earliest origin

In fact, it dates back to the Qin Dynasty. During the reign of Qin Shihuang, he issued a housework order. It is stipulated that "father and son cannot live in the same house".

The reason why Qin Shihuang did this was to increase the national tax revenue, because at that time, the tax revenue was based on each family. Therefore, after the separation of brothers and fathers, taxes will naturally increase accordingly.

Secondly, it is also to distinguish the customs of Yiddish. Let Qin people connect with the Central Plains, so as to improve the cultural quality of Qin people.

Jia Fu in A Dream of Red Mansions

Friends who have seen A Dream of Red Mansions must know that Jia Fu is a noble family with outstanding achievements, but with the passage of time, the strength of the family is declining. Why is this?

One of the most important reasons is the contradiction between family members. The contradiction between master and servant, the contradiction between big room and second room, the contradiction between main room and side room, and the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

Among them, Feng used the identity of the housekeeper to secretly keep accounts with public funds, and unconsciously put the interest she gave birth to into her pocket. When Jia Rong and Jia Qiang built the Grand View Garden, they were responsible for hiring teachers in Gusu and buying girls' clothes and musical instruments.

At this moment, Jia Rong whispered to Xi-feng, "My aunt asked me to write an account and give it to Brother Qiang to buy it according to the account." Besides, Rong Qiang doesn't know how much he spent on this opportunity.

And Xifeng and Mrs. Xing. They are mother-in-law, but Xifeng never takes Mrs. Xing seriously. Because Xifeng and her aunt are both surnamed Wang, they have been secretly cooperating.

In fact, these are one of the reasons that accelerated the decline of Jia family. Although the Jia family is surnamed Jia, the girls and daughters-in-law who later lived in the Grand View Garden are all surnamed Jia. A group of people from different families and surnames live together, and infighting will naturally increase. This will lead to family disharmony, and there is no way to live a good life.

Why can't a family have three surnames?

1 family reorganization

To put it bluntly, it is a second marriage family. Maybe it's normal for people to get married twice today. Nowadays, many second-marriage families take their children with them. At this time, there will be three surnames in a family.

In fact, this situation is very embarrassing. After all, he is a child who is not related to himself, but he has to take care of his emotions and life. Many people still have some contradictory emotions.

Especially for women, stepmother is not so easy to be. It's too tight. Say something about bullying children. Being a man is too sloppy and too difficult. In fact, the harmony between husband and wife is not good, and it will also cause irreparable harm to the children.

Therefore, this requires both parties to have enough patience, tolerance and understanding for each other after the family reorganization. Only in this way can we maintain this family and let the children accept themselves slowly.

2. Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live together

The ancients used to say, "an honest official can't break housework", what's more, it's between two women. This test is not only the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but also the son caught in the middle.

A little misconduct will make you not a person inside and outside. The wife will think that you are a "baby boy", and the mother will think that you married your daughter-in-law and forgot your mother. Therefore, there will inevitably be some contradictions between the three surnames of son, mother and wife.

Since ancient times, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been a headache for everyone. In this triangular relationship, the daughter-in-law will feel that the husband should love himself and take care of his feelings when he marries himself. The mother-in-law will think that her son is born by herself. She is an old man with rich life experience and should listen to her more.

At this time, conflicts will occur, and once this contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law occurs, it will take a long time to get better. Even there are some contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Once they cause trouble, they will last a lifetime. The man became a sandwich cake, caught in a dilemma and suffered indignities at both ends.

So the best way is for my son to move out by himself after marriage, which is the most appropriate and rational way. Of course, sons should also play the role of a bridge in the middle, playing the role of husband and son. Communicate more and find a good balance.