If the high beam is not straight

There is an old saying in China: fish begins to stink at the head. I didn't have a deep understanding of this sentence at first, but I have a deep understanding of this sentence since I visited a relative two days ago. My relative is a retired teacher in his seventies. He has four sons, so let's give them the eldest and the second. Among his four sons, the eldest divorced the second and got married for the second time. Third, although there is no divorce, it is also Tang Huo legally, and there is an aboveboard mistress outside. Now, Lao Si is getting a divorce, and it's a big fight.

In the previous contact, I always wondered why his four sons made marriage and family so complicated. Two days ago, I finally solved this puzzle that has been bothering me for many years. And his fourth child. He and his wife have a pair of children. My daughter goes to junior high school and my son goes to the second grade of primary school. He started a decoration company, and it is said that his business is good and he earned the first bucket of gold in his life. Laosi opened a farmhouse restaurant with the money he earned. Then, an old story happened. The boss called the young manager of the restaurant. Later, because the boss only cared about having a relationship with his lover, the restaurant closed down because of poor management, and the lost money also involved the decoration company. In such a vicious circle, Lao Si not only lost his family property, but also owed more than 600,000 foreign debts. When the lover ran away, the wife was disheartened and did not file for divorce. For a pair of children, she went out to work alone to support her family.

But it happened that dramatic changes have taken place. Old four hooked up with a divorced woman with a beautiful rhapsody in July. The woman also said that as long as he divorced and married her, she would help him pay off more than 600,000 debts and then make a comeback with him. He filed for divorce with his wife with little consideration and hesitation. His wife refused, saying that as long as the two Qi Xin worked together, the foreign debt would be paid off soon, but he had no room for manoeuvre, so he had to leave and said that she could not repay the debt for the rest of her life. At this time, something wonderful happened. The retired teacher actually came forward to scold the daughter-in-law of Old Four, saying that she didn't understand the effect, didn't think about her husband, couldn't pay his debts, bullied him, held him back, and prevented him from marrying a woman who could pay his debts, and so on. The father and son changed their faces and insulted her, posing as if they could not leave marriage and never give up. The poor woman finally gave in and agreed to divorce.

When the retired teacher told me all this, she was still gnashing her teeth and filled with indignation. She always emphasizes to me how bad the fourth daughter-in-law is, how excessive she is and so on. He also said: she has no ability and will only work like an ox. If our fourth child doesn't leave her, she will never be able to pay her debts. I didn't interrupt and didn't know what to say. Silence is the best attitude. Who is right and who is wrong seems to be a problem that needs no in-depth discussion. Justice is in people's hearts, and everyone with a discerning eye knows it. But these, I obviously can't tell him, one is that he is an elder, and I can only be stupid, and the other is that it is difficult for an honest official to decide on housework, and I don't have the luxury to take care of his housework. However, I really want to know, as a teacher, how can he reverse black and white and right and wrong so much?

Is it because the son is his own and the daughter-in-law is someone else's daughter? It is obvious that his son did something wrong, but he also rightfully cursed and ruthlessly forced himself to give birth to a daughter-in-law of a pair of grandchildren.

Looking back on the glorious history of his family over the years, it seems easy for me to understand that fish begins to stink at the head can only educate such a son with such a father. His boss has a decent job in the fire brigade. His wife is a doctor in the People's Hospital. When my son was a freshman, he divorced and remarried. The second runs a furniture store. After divorcing his original wife, he married a girl of 17 years old, that is, his father-in-law, who was two years younger than him. The only old man who hasn't divorced, relying on his eldest brother's relationship in the fire brigade, opened a fire equipment store. It is said that only the fire-fighting equipment bought in his shop can pass the inspection. The third daughter-in-law works as an accountant in a big store, and she can't bear to break up the family, so she can only live with her third child. Although the four sons dare not say that they are the people's dragons, they all have their own achievements. Who would have thought that the big family that outsiders are proud of is full of holes behind it? One son's divorce is accidental, and all four sons are accidental. Is this the inevitable result of the failure of family education? This may be a matter of opinion.

However, from the issue of the fourth child, it is not difficult to see that retired teachers, as the head of the family, also have problems with their moral values. In his eyes, the responsibility of marriage, the concept of family and the bond of affection are not the most important. The most important thing is that at a critical moment, when they need money, whoever can pay is the savior of their family. As a father, he not only failed to educate his sons, but encouraged them to care about the mutual affection between husband and wife, putting money and interests first, which led to the disintegration or change of the family. Although the love life of his four sons is beyond his control, it has a lot to do with his moral concept and family education. Don't underestimate the power of osmosis. The ancients said that the adoptive father was improper. Father's behavior has a great influence on children in childhood. Educated by this mercenary father who has turned all beings upside down since childhood, can four sons be indifferent to fame and fortune? In the face of interests, wives can abandon and children can abandon, which is their truest portrayal.

I just don't understand that this father, as a retired teacher, is also a knowledgeable and literate person. How can he not tell right from wrong? Don't, in his eyes, in addition to money, can't see anything else? Oh, I don't want to. Anyway, there are still many things I don't understand, and this is not bad.