Joke Collection Website - News headlines - Ten of the strongest jokes in history and 19 of them make you cry.

Ten of the strongest jokes in history and 19 of them make you cry.

Ten comprehensive jokes: 1. One day, my friends and I were hiking in a local scenic spot. When we were resting by the roadside, we met two beautiful women from the client company, greeted them in the past and talked nonsense for a while. When I turned to leave, I heard two beautiful women behind me asking, "Who is this person?" . . . . . . 2. One day, I took the stage to receive the award on behalf of my unit, standing on the stage in high spirits and enjoying the scenery brought by the flashing flash. Suddenly, I found a colleague I knew pointed to me, as if implying something. Is the medal upside down? I looked down. No, everything was fine. After stepping down, he passed the position of that buddy, and he quietly said something that almost fainted on the spot: "Brother, your pants are not zipped!" " 3. At the wedding celebration, the master of ceremonies "interviewed" the father-in-law standing by: "Are you always satisfied with your daughter-in-law?" My father-in-law smiled and nodded again and again and said, "Satisfied, a hundred satisfied." The MC then asked, "So, do you want your daughter-in-law to give you a grandson or a daughter?" Without thinking, my father-in-law said, "Everything is fine, everything is fine." 4. Someone sent a wreath to his friend who just died. The ribbon said, "Rest in peace, goodbye." Afterwards, he felt that his meaning was still unfinished, so he called the funeral home again: "Please add' in heaven' before' goodbye', if it can be squeezed." At the funeral the next day, the ribbon of his wreath read: "Rest in peace, see you in heaven, if it can be squeezed." I have money, and I don't know how to spend it. I went to buy leather shoes. I joked to the waiter, "Is there anyone with leather?" The waiter was angry and said, "Are you sick? There are ghost skins, do you want them? " Later, I spent more than 1 yuan to buy a pair, and I took it back for someone to look at, and God knows what leather it is! 6, playing QQ fun fighting landlords, because I forgot to prepare, I was asked out of the room by a blue diamond level 3 player. Tencent immediately popped up a web page, which is a channel for all kinds of blue diamonds to open. I closed it with a little smile! Am I that mean and vicious? 7. My buddy's wife said that no matter how expensive the house is, you have to borrow money, and you have to wear clothes and shoes. My buddy said, what if you have no money to eat? His wife said, "I'd rather starve to death beautifully!" " 8. A woman felt that she was too stupid, so she went to the doctor in the hope of getting some medicine to make her smarter. The doctor charged her 5 yuan and gave her the medicine. Three weeks later, the woman came back and said that the medicine was useless, and the doctor immediately doubled the dosage. A month later, the woman came back and said to the doctor, "Doctor, I always feel cheated. Your medicine doesn't work at all!" " Doctor: "How come it doesn't work! Now you're not smart? !” 9, Mid-Autumn Festival slogan country slogan: Mid-Autumn Festival home, everyone's responsibility! Beauty: It turns out that the moon can be more round! CCTV: The moon cake is as big as the heart! ! Calcium in calcium: It's Mid-Autumn Festival now. Its mooncakes are expensive. One piece is worth five pieces. It tastes terrible! Look at me, I've been vomiting for five days, and I still can't stop! Bai Jiahei: Last year, I spent the Mid-Autumn Festival alone and didn't fall asleep. I went home for the Mid-Autumn Festival this year and slept soundly. Traffic slogan: a glass of wine in Mid-Autumn Festival, two lines of tears for relatives! XX brand moon cakes are nutritious and teeth like them better. 1. Have a three-day holiday: the first day is Teachers' Day, the second day is the 1th anniversary of September 11th, and the third day is Mid-Autumn Festival. Thank you, teacher, bin Laden and Chang 'e!

Seek the strongest and funniest joke in history

There is a family. The father has a son named Pan Xin Shau, a daughter named Chi Pan Shi, a grandson named Pan Liangzi, and a granddaughter named Pan Futing. Later, when his father died, they invited a scholar to read his name at the funeral, but the scholar was poor and didn't know those words. He thought, forget it, read while you are. So, he read aloud: "The dutiful son struggled." The dutiful son was taken aback and thought, "Is there such a habit here? Do the dead want to somersault? " He had to do a somersault. The scholar read again: "Filial piety, yes." He didn't know how to pronounce' Shi', so the filial daughter called, "I want to translate, too?" At this time, the scholar thought of the pronunciation of the word' Shi' and said happily, "Shi." The filial daughter reluctantly turned a somersault. When the scholar saw it, he thought it was the habit of this village, and the dead also had to somersault and said with a smile, "The people in this village are really strange." So he continued to read: "filial piety, twice." Filial piety sun also reluctantly turned over two. Granddaughter saw it and thought, "Wow! One is worse than the other. I'd better hurry now. " Just as she was about to leave, the scholar shouted, "Don't run, filial granddaughter, it's not convenient!" !” .

The most classic joke in history

The most classic joke in history:

1. When the old couple went to take pictures, the photographer asked, "Grandpa, do you want side light, back light or full light? "My uncle said shyly," I don't care. Can you leave a pair of underpants for your aunt? "

2. Two jiaozi got married. After seeing off the guests, the groom went back to the bedroom and found a meatball lying on the bed! The groom was frightened and asked where the bride was. Meatballs said shyly: hate, you don't know people when they take off their clothes!

3. Four mice brag: A: I eat rat poison as candy every day; B: I feel itchy if I don't step on mice for a day; C: I don't go to the street for a few times a day. D: It's getting late. Let's go home and hug the cat.

4. A group of ants climbed up the elephant's back, but were shaken down. Only one ant clung to the elephant's neck. The ants below shouted: strangle him, strangle him, small sample, it's fucking backwards!

5. A puppy climbed onto your dining table and crawled towards a roast chicken. You were furious and said, If you dare to do anything to that roast chicken, I will dare to do anything to you. As a result, the puppy licked the chicken's ass and you fainted. The puppy said, Let's see who is cruel.

6. The mouse was particularly depressed because he didn't have a girlfriend. Finally, a bat agreed to marry him, and the mouse was very happy. Others laughed at his lack of vision. Mouse: What do you know? She is a stewardess at least.

7. The ant is lying lazily in the soil, stretching out a leg. What is your friend asking you? Ant: Later the elephant comes and stumbles him.

8. A woman is ugly and can't get married, hoping to be trafficked. Finally, my dream came true, but I couldn't sell it for half a month. The kidnapper sent him back, and she insisted on not getting off the bus. The kidnapper gritted his teeth and stamped his foot: Go, don't want the car.

9. Frog and toad became brothers. Toad said: I am the eldest brother. Frog said: no, you see the zit on your body is still there. I must be the big brother!

1. A real estate agent advertised "Buy a house, give furniture" to promote the house. Someone bought a new house, decorated it and went to get the furniture. Real estate agent: Where is your furniture? We'll deliver it for you!

Ten of the strongest jokes in history

1. I believe that everyone has encountered a sign saying that deaf people are asking for donations. Once the landlord met it, he directly replied, I am also deaf.

2. A parent found a teacher and said that his child's grades have dropped recently. He used to get about 25 points in the exam, but now he gets 2 points. The teacher explained it clearly in only one sentence: they are all multiple-choice questions. It used to be four choices, but now it has changed to five.

3. After the college entrance examination, I envy the couple who entered the same school hand in hand. The girl is high-spirited, the boy is valiant, the girl is ingenious, and the boy is excellent in character and learning. The girl reported the pastry and the boy reported the auto repair.

4. My father and I decided to repeat the college entrance examination. At this moment, my grandfather couldn't hold back and shouted, "If you don't do well in the exam, you won't do well in it. Why take poison!"

5. When the passenger plane crashed into the sea, the flight attendant asked the passengers to go into the sea from the slide, but the passengers did not dare. The flight attendant turned to the captain for help, and the captain quickly took care of it. The stewardess asked him why, and the captain said, Tell the Americans it's an adventure, tell the British it's an honor, tell the French it's romantic, tell the Germans it's a rule, and tell the Japanese it's an order. The captain also said: China people are too easy to handle, just tell him it's free.

6. When my friend went up the mountain today, a marching monk saw us digging bamboo shoots. He said, bamboo shoots are delicious. Go home and have a bamboo shoot to fry meat! Then my sister asked, how do you know that bamboo shoots are delicious and you don't eat meat? The monk said: I was not born a monk.

7. "Do you know why apples are red and blue, and the two sides are different?" "Oh, that's because of the sun. The side that basks in the sun turns red, and the side that can't bask in the sun is green. " "So that's it. The skin of that watermelon is green and the flesh is red. It must be that the sun has got in!"

8. A girl came to the class and introduced herself: "I may not be the smartest, I may not be the most beautiful, I may not be the best, I may not be the most humorous." Everyone in the class praised her modesty. After class, I saw her name before I knew that her name was Wei Bihui.

9. Watching the Romance of the Three Kingdoms with my wife, I said smoothly: What do you think I can do in the Three Kingdoms? The wife said leisurely: Tie it to the grass boat and borrow the arrow!

1. The wife suddenly asked her husband, "Do you love me?" "Love, of course!" The husband answered without hesitation. The wife thought about it and asked, "Are you afraid of hurting me?" The husband quickly said, "No, no, I said it because I was afraid of hurting me."