Lighthearted and humorous copywriting

I'm not fat, I'm swollen because I'm allergic to life.

I'm lazy and I don't have any special skills, but it's good to stay up late to cook.

You don't say "roll" in the future, just change it to "The world is so big, you should go and see it".

It is useless to have eyes when you are blind.

Don't dare to take a female driver's car next time. First time in a car accident. I covered my eyes and didn't step on the brakes.

Six. Five years ago, you said that if I didn't marry, if you didn't marry, we would be together. Five years later, I am still unmarried, but you are married and remarried.

7. Acute gastroenteritis was hospitalized. It almost killed me. My dad came to see me and told me anxiously: why can't this stupid hospital even connect to a WIFI!

Eight. People nowadays are too cold. A person who hasn't contacted for a long time suddenly sends you a link, asking you to vote for him, which shows that people at least remember you in their hearts. How long will it take you to vote for his opponent?

9. Every time I don't want to study, I tell myself in the mirror that if I grow up like this, I must study hard, otherwise others will say that that person has nothing but beauty.

I asked my girlfriend, "Of all the outstanding boys in the world, why did you choose me?" My girlfriend said, "Because excellent boys look down on me."

An employee bought a cup with "I want a raise" printed on it. Point these words at the boss at every meeting. Finally one day, the boss also bought a cup, which said "fuck off"!

12. When we are young, we all make mistakes. We always call girls in their twenties aunts and boys uncles, so now we get what we deserve. We'll pay it back sooner or later if we mix together!

13. Also rolled trouser legs, some boys, rolled ruffians, from Shuai Shuai; That's right, it's just curled up like a bear transplanting rice and fishing for fields.

14. If I ride a horse, you can call me a groom. If I drive, you can call me a coachman. If I am in charge of accounting, what should you call me?

15. I hate the slogan "It is shameful to waste food" in the canteen. How dare you say that others are shameless when you have cooked so badly the food that farmers' uncles have worked so hard to grow?

Sixteen years old. Now the man, what qualifications and elder sister say grow old together? I'm bald before my gray hair grows.

17. I just found out that the way to attract a man is to make him not get it; The way to attract a woman is just the opposite, that is, to satisfy her.

18. I went shopping with three classmates. A clerk at the counter kept watching us laugh, making our hearts tremble, so he went forward and asked, "What are you laughing at?" The salesman said, "A thief just took out your mobile phone, looked at it and probably thought it was too old. He shook his head and put it back in your pocket! " "

19. Now the underground parking lot is designed like a maze, and it takes a long time to find that you don't have a car.

20. I have always thought that I am a soldier and can face all difficulties and obstacles. I didn't give up the idea until my girlfriend took off makeup! 2 1. If marriage is the grave of love, then blind date means showing feng shui to the grave, confession means digging the grave, marriage means double suicide, empathy means moving the grave, and a third party means robbing the grave!

22. Commitment is like farting. It was earth-shattering, and then it was pale and powerless. Fortunately, I am ugly and have never experienced your love and hate.

Twenty-three What TV says is: I'll give you tens of thousands and keep my daughter. The reality is: give us tens of thousands, or leave my daughter.

24. Modern people's favorite mode: three minutes of love, one hour of chatting, two hours of confession, success together, unsuccessful listening to a few Netease cloud folk songs, sad songs, and looking for it from the beginning.