The authorities are "clear" and the onlookers are "fascinated"

we often say: the authorities are fascinated, but the bystanders see clearly! This sentence is also deeply imprinted in my mind, and I have never doubted it. When we have problems, we always want to ask others to help us solve them. The reason is that the authorities are confused and the onlookers see clearly! With the growth of children, after puberty, I have a certain understanding and change of this view!

When children reach puberty, there are many problems that we can't imagine. We are confused, confused and helpless.

? Once, my family came home from my mother-in-law's house, and we argued with our children on the way home. When we took a taxi to the bus stop, he didn't get on the bus with me, so we had to let him go with his mother first. I'm going to walk to the bus stop. After they arrived at the bus stop, the children resolutely refused to let their mother wait for me and left directly by car. On the way, I suddenly found that they had taken all my wallets away. When I called my daughter-in-law and said that I had no money, they had already left by car. I decided to walk home in a fit of pique and let the children experience the price of not letting me get on the bus. It would be worthwhile if I could move this matter. In this way, it took me only 4 minutes to travel 25 kilometers by car, and I walked for more than 6 hours. I thought my self-punishment could touch his heart, but I didn't expect the child to say why I didn't go to my mother-in-law's house to take the money and ride. I was surprised that I didn't show much emotion!

It turned out that he was so cute, and he studied very well in primary school. After junior high school, he was restless every day, often crying, and he was unwilling to do his homework while watching TV on weekends, which never happened in primary school. Why is it like this now? We are so anxious that we are so powerless that we have to pretend to be dead and run away. Like a headless fly, we tell our children's faults when we meet our family and relatives, and we can only get their comfort that the children are still young and take their time! Since then, children don't want to see their families and relatives. They always unconsciously ask him how he is now.

For this reason, we thought of a psychological consultation institution. When the teacher said it was best to let the children go with us, he didn't go at all! Inadvertently met a psychological counselor, cleverly let the children go to the teacher's home, and the children liked it at that time. Later, when he was asked to go again, he was unwilling! I have no choice but to invite the psychological teacher to our home. Every time I state my child's performance to the teacher, he basically agrees and says that he is willing to correct it. In fact, there is a certain improvement. The last time I thought it was a truthful statement, he bowed his head and wept. While I was still telling my story, the child ran into the bedroom directly in front of the teacher and locked the door. It feels as if it has become a criticism meeting for children!

can the problem be solved by external force? In fact, while doing this work, we also consulted several family education institutions, and the answer was that our parents want to change, and change requires parents to learn, thus driving children to change. I am confused: Do we need to change? Don't children need to change? At first, I also participated in the study of an educational institution, and all I said was slogan words, and I didn't know where to start. Later, I was lucky enough to get to know the wings of happiness. It was she who brought me changes and started to awaken me from the outside to the inside!

changing yourself is the only way to change others! Family first, personality second, knowledge third! Family education lays a solid foundation for children's life! How to cultivate children's self-confidence? -Four-step method of ability formation, 341 affirmation method, and ladder diagram of spiritual growth. How to manage our emotions? -awareness, acceptance, expression and transformation. These studies are like a spring breeze. When these thoughts and contents gradually have a certain consciousness in my mind and can be understood slowly, it is like an awakening. I woke up from a muddled dream and had a certain self-knowledge. It turned out that I really ignored my family! Under the banner of love, I fell into the control triangle.

"It's better to read thousands of books than Wan Li Road, and it's better to read countless people than Wan Li Road. It's better to read countless people than to be guided by a famous teacher, and it's better to understand by yourself when a famous teacher guides.". At this time, I understand the true meaning of this sentence. I have read a lot of books, traveled a lot, and met many famous teachers. These are the wealth that led me to grow up, but these have not turned into my own understanding! It turns out that understanding is the most important thing. I understand the truth that "the master leads the door and the practice depends on the individual"!

It was the study of the wings of happiness that made me aware, learned introspection and began to examine my past, thus making me listen to my inner voice slowly! It suddenly made me understand the truth that "the authorities are confused and the bystanders are clear". I want to change myself-try to be a person who is "the authorities are clear and the bystanders are confused"!

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