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Collection of Cannibal Jokes 1. Two cannibals applied for a job at IBM. The company's human resources director knew that these two people cannibalized people every day, so he warned them: "If you dare to eat people in the company, If you are alone, you will be fired immediately!" The two cannibals agreed quietly, saying that they would never eat people in the company. Two months have passed and the company is safe and sound. Suddenly one day, the company discovered that the cleaner responsible for cleaning the company was missing. So the HR manager was very angry and called in two cannibals to reprimand them and fired them on the spot. After leaving the company gate, one cannibal immediately complained to the other: "I keep warning you not to eat people who are working, but you just don't listen! We have been eating a manager every day for two months, and no one has noticed. Look now They found out immediately after eating the cleaner! " 2. Three explorers from the United States, Japan and China were caught by cannibals during their expedition in Africa. The cannibal chief decided not to Eat them, but you must fine each of them 100 big boards and allow them to each make a wish. The first was the American: "Please put 6 cushions on my butt." The chief agreed to the American's request. However, the seat cushion was relatively thin, and by the time we hit the 70th board, the seat cushion was already in tatters. The American muttered in a daze: "No matter what, our nation is the most creative..." and then passed out. . It was the Japanese's turn. He witnessed the miserable situation of the Americans and asked, "Please put 6 mattresses on my butt." The chief agreed to the Japanese's request. After the Japanese were beaten 100 times, they stood up with a smile and said: "Our nation is the nation with the strongest ability to imitate!" When it was the Chinese's turn, the Chinese asked with a smile: "Please put that Japanese devil in front of me." "On the butt!" 3. African virgin forest, traveler and local tour guide... Traveler: Is it safe here? Could there be cannibals? Tour guide: Don’t worry, it’s safe here. There are no cannibals in Africa. Traveler: But what if there are a few cannibals left? Tour guide: This is impossible, the last cannibal was eaten by us last Monday. 4. The world in the eyes of cannibals Apartment: food shelves Hospital: bad food exchange center Train: sausages Pregnant woman: meat buns 5. Fruit Three men were captured by cannibals, and they begged the cannibals to let them go. The cannibal leader said: "If you can find some fruits, I will consider letting you go." So the three people went to look for fruits separately. The first man came back with some grapes in his hand. It turned out that the cannibal leader just wanted to tease them. He ordered the tribesmen to stuff grapes into the man's anus. The man suffered terribly. The second man brought back oranges. Of course, he could not escape his bad luck. When the two men, who were sweating profusely and groaning in pain, saw the third man rushing back, they couldn't help laughing. It turned out that the third man was holding two huge coconuts in his arms. 6. Male Soup and Female Soup When the cannibals traveled abroad and came to a restaurant, they looked at the menu and were very surprised. It turns out that there are two dishes named men's soup and women's soup in the menu. The cannibals thought to themselves: Are there also cannibals here? So the cannibal asked the waiter in the restaurant what the male soup and female soup were. The waiter said: "The men's soup is 'ball soup,' and the women's soup is 'scallop soup.'" 7. The power of the Bible An atheist came to an undeveloped island in order to find evidence of evolution. To his surprise, he discovered that the local indigenous people were reading the Bible. "There is no God in the world. God does not exist. Do you understand? I am here to prove this." "Oh? Really? But without the restraint of God, you would have entered my belly long ago." 8 , Cannibal Recipes When Chu Fengtou was traveling in Africa, he accidentally broke into the territory of the cannibals and was captured by the cannibals.

The head chef of the cannibal tribe put the tied-up Chu Fengtou in front of the oil pan and asked, "What's your name?" Chu Fengtou asked back, "I'm about to die, what's the use of knowing my name? !" The chef was furious: "How dare you speak so hard! I don't know your name, how can I write a recipe?" 9. Braised Hunter: 15 Yuan Fried Lady: 25 Yuan Sheng Mixed Politician: 1,000 Yuan Someone asked, why is "raw mixed politician" so expensive? The answer is: 1. Politicians are too cunning and the hardest to catch. 2. Politicians have the tenderest meat. 3. The flesh of politicians is so dirty that it is most difficult to wash it. 10. The British, Americans and Japanese were on the same flight; it accidentally crashed and landed in Africa (an area where cannibals are said to be sometimes infested). Unfortunately, the three of them were picked up for dinner before they could escape. While they were watching the cannibals doing the Hugaga dance with gloomy expressions, they saw the chief coming to inspect the three fat dinners... The three of them had a glimmer of hope and tried to communicate with the chief. (Of course not using Kuaiduo!) They used body language to express their request to the chief to let go of his life...; the indigenous chief agreed, but he came up with a test question to embarrass them (of course it was not like this) It’s a question from the joint entrance examination!) His question is: three people are asked to take out the words and measure them. If the total adds up to exactly 19cm... let it go! At this time, the British volunteered to take the lead, wow! It’s 7 centimeters! Next comes the American 10 centimeters. Finally, the Japanese have two centimeters (ha!) Please do the math: 7+12=19, right? ! True to his word, the chief let them go. The three of them ran and crawled out of the cannibal village, fleeing for their lives! ! Walk! Walk! The Japanese let out a big sigh and said: Phew! Good luck. When I was measuring the length just now, I suddenly became excited for some reason! otherwise. 11. When a cannibal walked into a Japanese mixed-sex bathhouse, he said happily: "Okay, rice is nutritious and delicious!" 12. A woman was chased by a cannibal and ran into a dead end. Frightened, the woman wet her pants. Upon seeing this, the cannibals cursed: "What a damn pity! The soup has been spilled!" 13. After a cannibal woman gives birth to a child, she must first give the child to her husband, and politely say: "Eat it while it's hot!" " 14. The rich man who bless the cannibals took his son to travel abroad. On the plane, the son asked his father: "Why are there so many people on the plane? " The father replied: " God always bless us. " Son: That plane can also do it. Want to eat? Father: An airplane is like a lobster. You have to peel off the skin and eat the meat inside. 15. A bumper harvest. When the French World Cup football was in full swing, the cannibals came to the football stadium and saw the overcrowded scene. They couldn't help shouting: "It's a bumper harvest this year!" 16. An explorer went on an adventure in the Amazon Basin and was accidentally killed by the cannibals. Caught. The explorer suddenly discovered that the chief not only spoke English, but also graduated from Cambridge University. He breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that he had finally escaped. He asked the chief: "I guess the education of your tribe must have improved a lot..." The chief replied: "Of course, we cannibals have started to use knives and forks." 17. A cannibal chief and his son went outside. In search of food, they hide in thick haystacks and wait for prey to arrive.

Not long after, a thin boy passed by, and the patriarch's son asked his father, "Dad, how do you like this?" The patriarch replied, "No, this kid is too thin and tastes tasteless!" Not long after, a fat man passed by, and the patriarch's son asked Dad: "Dad, what about this fat man?" The patriarch replied: "No, this one is too fat. Eating it will raise cholesterol!" Not long after, a graceful beauty passed by, and the patriarch's son asked his father: "Dad, what about this beautiful woman?" How? "The patriarch replied: "Wow! Great, let's take this beauty home!" The patriarch's son asked his father: "Do we have something to eat?" The patriarch replied: "Yes, let's cook your mother. ! " 18. An explorer traveled to Africa alone and accidentally encountered cannibals in the wild. The explorer was surrounded by cannibals. In desperation, he shouted to the sky: "Oh God, please help me! , If this continues, I will die!" At this time, a voice came from the sky: "Don't worry, don't worry! You may not be dead yet, hurry up and throw a stone at the chief!" The explorer followed God's instructions and picked one! The big stone was thrown at the chief, and the chief was killed. The other cannibals were stunned for a while, and then started to glare at the explorer! Another voice came from the sky: "Now, you are really dead!" School Jokes 4 1. Teacher, teacher, your parents are here to take you home! ! I thought about a mother. She used to be a kindergarten teacher. Their kindergarten was a weekday school, and they would go home once a week. So every Friday, the students would be very excited and wait for their parents to pick them up. They usually started waiting when they got up in the morning. At the door of the class, whoever’s parents are coming will shout: So-and-so, your father (or mother) is here to pick you up! ! Then the child who is picked up will be picked up in the envious eyes of everyone. That Friday, I went to pick up my mother from get off work with my brother. Before I even got to the door, I heard a child shouting: Teacher, teacher, hurry up, your parents are here to take you home! ! My brother and I have black lines all over our faces... 2. A group of classmates are awesome. Our biology teacher is a girl who just graduated, and she looks very nice! When our class took the first place in biology after our section exam, she was extremely ''happy''...................... ........... One day during evening self-study, she told us that the Master's blood type classmates were too naive! Teacher: Which of you has blood type B? Students: I......................! Teacher: Which of you is born in the year of Ox? Students: I......................! The teacher raised her thumb and shouted, "Then these students are awesome!" I fell in love on the spot............. 3. Reading like a bird, a sculpture was built in the new building of a university: a girl holding a book in her left hand, In his right hand he holds a dove, which symbolizes peace. The school publicly solicited names from students, and many people's slogans coincided with each other - studying is useless! 4. Children are innocent... When he was in junior high school, a boy wanted to copy a girl's homework. He was afraid that she would not agree, so he went through her schoolbag after she left the classroom, and found out a sanitary napkin. He said in surprise. : "Wow! What a big band-aid!" 5. Are the two keys pressed at the same time? When I first went to college, I was very stupid. Once again, the teacher asked me to do a ppt presentation in class. I had never used it before. It happened that I was the first to give a lecture. I turned on the computer for a long time and the projector did not respond. The next few buddies shouted to press F2, press F2! So I hesitated and asked: Are the two keys pressed at the same time?