A famous drunken joke

1. Colleague Fan Xiao invited everyone to drink. One of his colleagues was too drunk to get up at his desk. I was worried that he would get sick, so I poured him a cup of warm water to drink. He drank it all at once and muttered, "What kind of wine is this? It smells like water. This boy is a bitch.

A man drank in a pub all night, and finally the bartender told him to close up. So he got up and left, but fell face down with a plop. He struggled to stand up and sat down again. He thought that if he climbed out and got some fresh air outside, he might be more awake. As soon as he went out, he stood up again, but fell down with a plop. He climbed into the house, onto the bed and fell asleep. The next morning, as soon as he woke up, his wife stood in front of the bed and shouted to him, "Did you go drinking again last night?" "What makes you say that?" He defended himself with an innocent face. "The bar called and said you left your wheelchair there."

3. One day, an alcoholic went to someone's house to drink and was in a good mood. He said to the guests, "You have a long way to go, so go back first and don't accompany me anymore." When the guests heard him say this, they all dispersed, and only the host accompanied him to continue drinking. The man said to his master, "You have a long way to go. Go home first and don't accompany me." The host said: "I am the host here, and now I am the only one to accompany you." You must go back to your bedroom to sleep. I slept on this wine table today.

4. There is a man who is addicted to alcohol and never leaves all day. He turned a deaf ear to his friend's advice. Once, a friend saw an article about the harm of drinking in a book and showed it to him at once. The drunkard saw the article written like this: "Drinking too much will cause many problems and shorten life." Surprised, I made up my mind: "I made up my mind this time!" " "The friend said," Look, you should have made up your mind earlier! "The drunkard said," No, I mean make up my mind never to study again! " "

A drunk walked into the bar with his feet up and his hands up, and shouted, "Give me a good brandy, man." The shopkeeper was very surprised and asked, "Why are you walking like this?" The drinker replied, "My wife made me swear last night that I would never go into a bar again. I want to keep my promise. "

6. "When I drink, everyone can drink!" A man in the hotel is calling everyone together. He drained the whisky in his glass and shouted, "I want another glass." Everyone can have another drink. "So everyone had another drink with gratitude. The man drank the second glass of wine, took out a $2 bill from his pocket and slapped it on the counter. "When I pay the bill," he roared, "it's time for everyone to pay the bill! "

7. Someone ordered two glasses of wine in the hotel and drank one glass after another. The waiter said, "Mr. Good Wine!" The man said, "No! A glass of wine represents me and a glass represents my seriously ill friend. " The next day, the man went to the hotel again and only had one drink this time. The waiter asked, "Your friend ... is dead?" He said, "No, I gave up drinking."

8. In a small bar, many people get together. One of them asked his neighbor, "Do you have many friends who drink?" "Yes, before my money runs out."