Who knows the lines of last year's Spring Festival Evening sketch "Hotline"?

Li Yuyang: All my friends like cross talk very much.

Classmate: That's right.

Li Yuyang: Because cross talk can bring you joy.

Classmate: I am very happy.

Li Yuyang: Well, I'm glad.

Classmate: Right.

Li Yuyang: I feel happy after hearing it.

Classmate: Yes.

Li Yuyang: Hey, speaking of happiness, I want to ask you.

Classmate: What did you ask me?

Li Yuyang: Tell me, what do you think is the happiest thing?

Classmate: What is the happiest thing?

Li Yuyang: Yes.

Classmate: Hehe, count the money!

Li Yuyang: Counting money? Count money wherever you go.

Classmate: How beautiful!

Li Yuyang: Let's say you get off the bus.

Classmate: Yes.

Li Yuyang: Find a secluded place.

Classmate: The fewer people, the better.

Li Yuyang: Take out your wallet. collide

Classmate: Huh?

Li Yuyang: Give the money away. Poof-wow!

Classmate: Count well.

Li Yuyang: Bi, Bi, Bi, Bi, Bi, Bi, Bi, Bi, Bi. After counting, you just put the money in your pocket and throw away your wallet, and you will disappear into the darkness.

Classmate: Am I a thief?

Li Yuyang: Do you still feel happy?

Classmate: Happiness? ! If you catch me, you should go to jail.

Li Yuyang: Didn't you say that counting money is the happiest thing?

Classmate: I count my own money, not others'.

Li Yuyang: My point of view is different from yours.

Classmate: What do you think is the happiest thing?

Li Yuyang: I think health is the happiest thing for people.

Classmate: Oh, health.

Li Yuyang: This health is divided into physical health and mental health.

Classmate: Two aspects.

Li Yuyang: It is not easy to achieve mental health!

Classmate: Really?

Li Yuyang: Don't be angry, don't be angry, don't sulk, and keep a good attitude.

Classmate: Huh?

Li Yuyang: It's easier said than done.

Classmate: What's so difficult?

Li Yuyang: No, I was annoyed by something the other day.

Classmate: What makes you angry?

Li Yuyang: Because I often write, this cervical vertebra always hurts.

Classmate: Oh, occupational diseases.

Li Yuyang: I want to consult an expert.

Classmate: Solve it!

Li Yuyang: It's too much trouble to go to the hospital.

Classmate: What should I do?

Li Yuyang: I just called a hotline.

Classmate: Hey, that's convenient.

Li Yuyang: Convenient? I was delayed with the switchboard for more than two hours, and nothing was solved.

Classmate: You are stupid enough. This will take two hours? Ten minutes, I can handle it.

Li Yuyang: Brag!

Classmate: We can try!

Li Yuyang: Come on!

Classmate: Don't you just make a phone call? What's the big deal?

Li Yuyang: Listen (four tones) Step! Listen (4) Step, step, step, step, step, step, step!

Classmate: What is this?

Li Yuyang: The phone is connected.

Classmate: Oh, this is the waiting tone! I thought the allegro singer was here.

Li Yuyang: Hello, this is the consultation hotline for treating all diseases. Please dial the extension directly. Please dial 0 for the phone number.

Classmate: Hey, that's very clear. Dial 0.

Li Yuyang: Hello, please press 1 for English service, 2 for Japanese service, 3 for Portuguese, 4 for Hindi, 5 for indigenous language and 6 for bird language.

Classmate: Bird language?

Li Yuyang: Press 7 for Persian.

Classmate: Hey, I speak Chinese.

Li Yuyang: For Chinese service, please press 8.

Classmate: If you say 8, it's over. Please press 8.

Li Yuyang: Hello, this is the Chinese service. Press 1 for Shanghainese, 2 for Chongqing, 3 for Cantonese, 4 for Hunan and 5 for Tangshan.

Classmate: Why are there dialects?

Li Yuyang: This is a consultant who satisfies the people all over the country.

Classmate: Oh, that's very thoughtful. Hey, I can speak Mandarin.

Li Yuyang: Please press 8 for Mandarin.

Classmate: Oh, it's also 8.

Li Yuyang: Hello, this is the Mandarin service. Press 1 for the office, 2 for the talent center, 3 for the labor department, 4 for the administrative department, 5 for the registration office and 6 for the parking room.

Classmate: Where to park?

Li Yuyang: Please press 6 for the parking lot, 6 for the parking lot and 6 for the parking lot. ...

Classmate: Why do you only say this sentence?

Li Yuyang: Sorry, there is something wrong with the computer. Please press * to return to the previous unit.

Classmate: Hey, ok! This must be returned. All right, all right, go back! Go back!

Li Yuyang: Listen and step! Listen step by step!

Classmate: Allegro singer hasn't left yet!

Li Yuyang: Hello, this is the consultation hotline for treating all diseases. Please dial the extension directly. Please dial 0 for the phone number.

Classmate: No need to look up the number. I'll press 8.

Li Yuyang: Hello, this is the Chinese service.

Classmate: I also press 8.

Li Yuyang: Hello, this is the Mandarin service.

Classmate: I press 8.

Li Yuyang: Hello, this is the morgue.

Classmate: Eh. Huh? Why did you push the morgue?

Li Yuyang: This hotline has maintained long-term cooperation with the mortuary.

Classmate: Really?

Li Yuyang: Please press 1 to pay tribute to the remains.

hum

Li Yuyang: Please press 2 to order the shroud.

Classmate: this ...

Li Yuyang: Please press 3 to receive the inheritance.

Classmate: Hey, I don't want a morgue!

Li Yuyang: Who told you to press it randomly?

Classmate: I am looking for an expert.

Li Yuyang: Please press 9 for expert consultation.

Classmate: Press 9 quickly.

Li Yuyang: Hello, this is the expert consultation hotline.

Classmate: It's not easy! Li Yuyang: Dear friend, have you ever worried about being fat? Have you ever worried about the lack of a charming figure? Our exclusive diet tea will bring you good news.

Classmate: This mobile phone has advertisements!

Li Yuyang: This product is made of croton, rhubarb, castor oil and other precious medicinal materials.

Classmate: It's all diarrhea.

Li Yuyang: After taking it, the effect is obvious and there is no toxic side effect.

Classmate: Oh!

Li Yuyang: Please listen to Miss Li's feelings after taking it.

Classmate: Another Miss Li.

Li Yuyang: Hello, everyone. Maybe you don't believe it.

Classmate: What's the matter?

Li Yuyang: I was really fat.

Classmate: How fat is it?

Li Yuyang: At that time, my measurements once reached120/130/120.

Classmate: The whole tank. What is this?

Li Yuyang: I'm really upset.

Classmate: Oh!

Li Yuyang: Later, I was introduced to eat slimming tea as soon as I drank it. (Suddenly loudly) Wow!

Classmate: What do you mean?

Li Yuyang: A miracle really happened!

Classmate: What miracle?

Li Yuyang: My measurements were reduced to 38/38/38 in one month.

Classmate: Ah.

Li Yuyang: Now all my friends affectionately call me Sanbapo.

Classmate: Wow! (Hai) You are 38 years old!

Li Yuyang: I really appreciate drinking tea to lose weight!

Classmate: Ah.

Li Yuyang: Now I am happy! I had a great time! I'm so happy!

Classmate: You hate it! Why is this advertisement endless?

Li Yuyang: Hello, this is the expert consultation hotline.

Classmate: Ah.

Li Yuyang: For male patients, please press 1.

Classmate: OK!

Li Yuyang: For female patients, please press 2.

Classmate: Yes.

Li Yuyang: Please press 3 for neutral patients.

Classmate: Are there any neutral patients?

Li Yuyang: Please press 4 for manual service.

Classmate: Let's have an artificial one. Please press 4.

Li Yuyang: Hello, the line is busy now, please wait a moment.

Classmate: Oh, it will take a while.

Li Yuyang: Sister, by boat! !

Classmate: What does this mean?

Li Yuyang: This is a song on standby.

Classmate: Oh, you scared me.

Li Yuyang: Enen loves love, and the strings swing leisurely!

Classmate: No time to listen to music. Press 2 to try.

Li Yuyang: Hug hug, hug, wow, put my sister in the sedan chair. ...

Classmate: Wait here, too. Please press 3.

Li Yuyang: Sister, go ahead.

Classmate: I press 4!

Li Yuyang: Silly sister, silly sister,

Classmate: Why are they all sisters?

Li Yuyang: How many good sisters do you have? Why, um ... (Suddenly there is no sound)

Classmate: Why is there no sound?

Li Yuyang: Sorry, the standby time is too long. Please press * to return to the previous unit.

Classmate: I'm wasting time again. I don't believe it today.

Li Yuyang: Listen and step! listen to ..

Classmate: Can you get rid of the Allegro singer?

Li Yuyang: Hello, this is the consultation hotline for treating all diseases. ...

Classmate: I press 8 for Chinese service!

Li Yuyang: Hello. ...

Classmate: I press 8 in Mandarin!

Li Yuyang: Hello. ...

Classmate: Expert consultation, I press 9!

Li Yuyang: Hello. ...

Classmate: I press 4 for manual service!

Li Yuyang: Hello. 54 188 at your service.

Classmate: What is this wicked number? Finally someone answered!

Li Yuyang: What can I do for you?

Classmate: I am looking for an expert!

Li Yuyang: What are you looking for?

Classmate: Find an expert!

Li Yuyang: Would you speak louder?

Classmate: My voice is getting louder. I'll get an expert!

Li Yuyang: What are you shouting?

Classmate: I'm too noisy again.

Li Yuyang: Which expert are you looking for?

Classmate: I ... where do I know? Who are you?

Li Yuyang: We have four professors Zhao Qiansun.

Classmate: Oh, then I'll find Professor Zhao!

Li Yuyang: Professor Zhao has made a house call.

Classmate: Then I'll get the money, Professor!

Li Yuyang: Professor Qian is on a business trip!

Classmate: Then I'll find Professor Sun!

Li Yuyang: Professor Sun has gone abroad!

Classmate: Then I'll find Professor Li!

Li Yuyang: Professor Li went to the funeral!

Classmate: Hey ... Funeral?

Li Yuyang: His fourth aunt died and went to the funeral.

Classmate: Well, nobody. Hey, I said, what kind of service is this?

Li Yuyang: If you are satisfied with our service, please press 1.

Classmate: Huh?

Li Yuyang: Please press 2 to send the banner.

Classmate: Fa. ...

Li Yuyang: Please press 3 for verbal praise.

Classmate: I still praise you? I want to complain to you!

Li Yuyang: Please call 3. 14 155897932 for complaints. ...

Classmate: I can't remember this number! Ouch. I see, after all this time, you are not virtuous at all. I know, you just want to delay my call and waste my money. I tell you, you found me an expert today, and nothing happened between us. If you can't find it, I'll sue you at the Consumer Association! I accuse you of fraud!

Li Yuyang: Oh, why are you in such a hurry?

Classmate: Find someone for me quickly!

Li Yuyang: Then we only have one intern expert here. Are you all right?

Classmate: Don't worry about the internship. Tell him to come to me.

Li Yuyang: Wait for me to call you.

Classmate: Let's go! This is so boring. I tell you, the soft ones are afraid of the hard ones, and the hard ones are afraid of the horizontal ones. People have to have a temper. Dogs bite when they are in a hurry, don't you think?

Li Yuyang: Which dog wants to bite?

Classmate: Hey, it's me. Ah, bah! What's the point?

Li Yuyang: If you bite, you should get a vaccine! The incubation period of rabies is very long!

Classmate: Huh?

Li Yuyang: Up to 20 years!

Classmate: What do you mean?

Li Yuyang: Didn't you say that mad dogs want to bite people?

Classmate: Oh, no, I'm asking something.

Li Yuyang: Oh, is that you?

Classmate: Right, right, right.

Li Yuyang: Not a dog?

Classmate: Hey, don't mention the dog, okay?

Li Yuyang: What are you consulting?

Classmate: I have a bad cervical vertebra. Do you think there is any way to treat it?

Li Yuyang: It's simple!

Classmate: What's the matter?

Li Yuyang: You've been sitting for too long!

Classmate: You are an expert. You hit the nail on the head.

Li Yuyang: Your stool is very hard. That part of you is always rubbing against that stool. How can it not hurt?

Classmate: Wait a minute, expert, wait a minute! I asked about the cervical vertebra, not the coccyx! Why did you return the stool?

Li Yuyang: No, where is it?

Classmate: Cervical vertebra.

Li Yuyang: Cervical vertebra?

Classmate: Right.

Li Yuyang: Which part is the cervical vertebra?

Classmate: Hey. Hmm? You don't know?

Li Yuyang: How could I not know? I don't know. Can I answer the phone here?

Classmate: Then explain it to me.

Li Yuyang: You don't understand what I told you.

Classmate: Oh, you said.

Li Yuyang: Cervical vertebra, neck is neck and spine is spine. These are two completely different concepts.

Classmate: No, what's the difference?

Li Yuyang: Of course! Neck, commonly known as neck. The neck is the language of life!

Classmate: Oh, oh. ...

Li Yuyang: For example, if you go to the vegetable market, you have to tell people that you bought a chicken neck.

Classmate: Huh?

Li Yuyang: I'll get you a chicken neck. But when you tell people that you bought a chicken neck, they don't know which part!

Classmate: I have never heard of buying a "chicken neck"!

Li Yuyang: Speaking of this chicken, I want to focus on one point.

Classmate: What are you talking about?

Li Yuyang: A lot of chickens were killed this year (referring to 2004). Why?

Classmate: Bird flu!

Li Yuyang: No! That's because this year is the Year of the Monkey.

Classmate: No, what does it matter?

Li Yuyang: Kill the chicken for the monkey!

Classmate: Show it to the monkey.

Li Yuyang: So you have to have a look!

Classmate: What am I looking at?

Li Yuyang: You see a doctor. what are you reading?

Classmate: No, what you said has nothing to do with me!

Li Yuyang: Don't worry, I just told you about the vertebrae under the neck!

Classmate: What about the spine?

Li Yuyang: The spine is the cavity bone in your neck.

Classmate: The chicken is finished. It's time for You Zhu to play!

Li Yuyang: The cavity bone is the language of life!

Classmate: Ah.

Li Yuyang: For example, if you go to the vegetable market,

Classmate: Why did I go to the vegetable market again?

Li Yuyang: You have to tell people that if you buy a pig cavity bone, they will get it for you.

Classmate: Ah.

Li Yuyang: But when you tell people that you bought a pig spine, they don't understand!

Classmate: What is this? What is this?

Li Yuyang: So this vegetable market-

Classmate: I said expert, expert, can you come out for a moment? You went to the vegetable market twice in such a short time! You've been talking about dogs, You Zhu and chickens for a long time. You must be a vet, right?

Li Yuyang: Yes!

Classmate: What?

Li Yuyang: What! Let me give you an example through this animal!

Classmate: What does this have to do with me?

Li Yuyang: You are also an animal!

Classmate: Hey. Hmm?

Li Yuyang: Oh no, you are an advanced animal!

Classmate: You didn't talk like that!

Li Yuyang: I'll tell you about cervical vertebrae through animals!

Classmate: What's the matter?

Li Yuyang: Let you know that the neck is the neck and the spine is the spine. You shouldn't treat your neck as a spine and your spine as a neck. There should be a spine in the neck, and a neck in the spine.

Classmate: Yes, I understand. ...

But the neck cannot represent the spine, and the spine cannot represent the neck.

Classmate: Ah, right, right, right.

The neck is the neck and the spine is the spine. If you don't know what a neck is and what a spine is, you don't know which is a spine and which is a neck. Classmate: No. ...

So, cervical vertebra, cervical vertebra, cervical vertebra, this cervical vertebra, do you understand?

Classmate: Expert, did you eat too much pig cavity bone tonight? Huh? How can you help me cure this disease by walking around like this?

Your illness is only four words.

Classmate: What are those four words?

Bone hyperplasia.

Classmate: Here is some music.

That's why this shoulder, arm, chest and front part will hurt!

Classmate: That's the symptom.

Li Yuyang: Of course you are reluctant to spend money.

Classmate: Ah.

Li Yuyang: If this disease drags on, there will be sequelae.

Classmate: Really?

Li Yuyang: When the time comes, your hands and feet will be numb, your muscles will atrophy and your limbs will be paralyzed!

Classmate: Oh dear!

Li Yuyang: How old are you this year?

Classmate: I am thirty-six.

Li Yuyang: Soon!

Classmate: What is fast?

Li Yuyang: I'm paralyzed!

Classmate: Huh? This is paralysis?

Li Yuyang: After you were paralyzed, your wife took your child away, and your wife separated!

Classmate: OK, I'll make a phone call. Our home is ruined. Hey! I said, expert, what medicine do you suggest I take now?

Li Yuyang: I am reluctant to spend money. What medicine do you take?

Classmate: How about I do a traction?

Li Yuyang: Don't bother.

Classmate: Why don't I have acupuncture treatment?

Li Yuyang: Don't think about acupuncture.

Classmate: Then what should I consider?

Li Yuyang: First consider whether your salary this month is enough to pay the telephone bill!

Classmate: I still get paid.