Reading Notes for "Speaking Out the Key Points When You Open Your Mouth"

The main essence of "Speaking of Key Points" is: how to explain the most important things clearly in one minute.

The author of this book, Saito Takashi, is a famous communication master in Japan. He graduated from the University of Tokyo Law School and works at the Faculty of Liberal Arts of Meiji University. It is said that all the students he teaches are very eloquent. Saito Takashi has published many best-selling books on speaking skills, such as "Super Chat", "Stress-Free Conversation", "The Power of Asking", etc. Among his many works, the most popular one is still "Speaking and Speaking" "Tell the important points". Simply put, this book teaches us "how to explain the most important things clearly in the shortest time."

The author named it the universal "River Mode". This is a speaking skill that can quickly establish effective communication with the other party, and many difficult problems can be communicated using the River Mode. There is no such thing as obstacle. ①So what is river mode? If you and another person are on opposite sides of a small river, in order for the other person to reach you from the other side, you need to place a few stepping stones in the small river to facilitate the other person to cross the river smoothly. We can think of the above scenario as a communication between you and your audience. The river here can be understood as the knowledge gap between you and the other party, and the stepping stones are the knowledge base that allows the other party to successfully establish communication with you. To give a specific example, if you teach Einstein's theory of relativity to someone who has never studied physics, if you want him to understand the theory of relativity, you need to set up a few stepping stones in the middle. These stepping stones are a step-by-step explanation of physics knowledge. , if you directly talk about what the theory of relativity is, then the other party will definitely be confused. For another example, if you ask a first-grade primary school student what 1 minus 2 equals, he will definitely say that your question is wrong because there is no concept of negative numbers in his mathematics textbook, so you must first explain the concept of introducing negative numbers. Only then can he understand this question. In this example, the concept of negative numbers is a stepping stone to crossing the river of "1 minus 2". ②So, even if sometimes what you say is the key point, but you fail to make the other party understand, that means communication has not been established. No matter how important the content you say is, it is meaningless. What the river mode does is training in this area. ③Now that we know the importance of placing stepping stones during communication, we need to know how to place stepping stones. First, draw the river you are facing, which is the knowledge gap that needs to be overcome before you can establish communication with the other party. Then clearly mark the stepping stones in the river, and then fill in the content of the stepping stones in the graphic. The biggest advantage of doing this is that it activates the brain. Our brains tend to respond more clearly to visual content. Filling in the content of the stepping stones in order can clearly show: "Only by walking here can you get there." , and at the same time, the brain will continue to think logically, "As long as you take this step, it will become like this." Therefore, continuous practice of such operations will cultivate the river model into one of our thinking habits. To a certain extent, the river Patterns are a universal communication technique. ④When speaking in the river mode, if you can transform all abstract content into visual images, the other party will be more interested in the content. River mode is a visual description. We can also replace the river with an island, and replace the stepping stones with little monsters on the island. Only by defeating these little monsters can you get the treasure, and the treasure is your final conclusion. Get The treasure is understanding your conclusions. This behavior sounds a bit childish, but it can increase people's interest in the content and gain a sense of accomplishment through interlocking and progressive communication methods. Only with high-level speaking content can the listener get more inspiration than the content.

When we attend class, attend lectures or hold meetings, there is often a question-and-answer session. Every time we come to this stage, we always feel that we seem to understand something, but we don’t know what questions to ask. This actually means that the ability to ask questions is insufficient, and the ability to ask questions can be cultivated through practice.

The most effective way is to take notes. When the other party talks, record it as simply as possible in a way that you can understand. When you encounter something that you don’t understand or have questions about, mark it so that you can answer questions when asking questions. Only then will your problem become clear. In addition, before asking questions, you need to prioritize and narrow down the scope of the questions in advance. If you think of five questions, you need to prioritize them so that even if you don’t have time to ask the next questions, the most important questions have already been answered. A question is limited to 10 seconds, and content such as self-introduction must be as concise as possible. Before formally asking a question, you can tell the other person that you want to ask a few questions. Because the people asking questions are usually people with higher skills, knowledge, or abilities than ourselves, and these people are usually busy, so we must consider how to ask the most valuable questions in a limited time.

The training of negotiation skills is not to enable you to make good suggestions when others come to discuss with you, but to improve your negotiation skills with others and achieve the purpose of negotiation quickly and effectively. A method is used here called "framed communication". The method is very simple. You and another person are in a group, and then assume that you want to discuss something, such as how to arrange work for subordinates, how to save performance decline, etc., and you must do it in a Explain clearly within 1 minute. When doing it specifically, you can use a piece of paper and a pen as props. Please pay attention to a detail, this detail is very important. You two need to sit on the same side of the table, side by side, never across from each other. Doing this is a psychological suggestion. If two people sit face to face with their eyes facing each other, it is easy to become emotional; if two people sit next to each other, they have established a kind of dependence and tacit understanding mentally before communicating. You put a piece of paper between the two people. You can write the content on the paper while speaking. The person listening also writes the answers and suggestions on the paper. This kind of structured communication can make the conversation go straight to the topic. He doesn't beat around the bush and can easily keep things organized. When this kind of training reaches a certain level, it will be very helpful in improving our communication efficiency. It is possible that problems that were originally very confusing can be easily solved during discussions. 4. How to apologize effectively?

For example, if the work is not completed on the specified date, except for some force majeure factors, we will all have to bear the error and responsibility, and give a specific timetable. If you make a mistake at work, you need to express your apology as soon as possible, review the occurrence process of the problem, analyze the problem and provide a solution, and determine whether the error is rectifiable and how to rectify it. Therefore, things like apologizing actually happen very often, whether in our work or in our lives, and we may need to apologize many times. This book specifically summarizes the following principles of apology: First, establish an attitude of "clear apology" from the beginning. No matter what happens, you must apologize first and then explain the situation. Second, skills are also required when explaining the situation. No matter what the facts are, avoid saying: "Because you did what you did, I did what you did." This is tantamount to attributing the premise of your mistakes to the other party's behavior. Instead, you only need to explain the smallest spark that caused the misunderstanding, that is, The divergence point of the error is enough, for example, "because I made a mistake about this time", "because I misunderstood this sentence", etc. This is enough. Communication errors happen every day. When apologizing, you don't need to specifically accuse the other party of their mistakes, which will ruin the mood of both parties. If you slightly change the statement, the other party's response will be completely different. Third, in business negotiations or when interests are involved, special attention should be paid to the way you apologize. In the case of business apologies and interests involved, if you are the only one to apologize, it means that you have to bear all the losses, because this will involve the issue of compensation, and it may also cause the other party to push forward and demand excessive compensation due to excessive apology. . If it's all your fault, of course that's okay, but if the other person is also at fault, you need to deal with it tactfully. At this time, whether you need to apologize in the first minute depends on your grasp of your relationship with the other party.

Excerpts of golden sentences

1. Usually the key sentences that can establish a relationship are only the ones that impress the most

2. Watching the passage of time, you can Makes people want to complete the work faster

3. When practicing, be sure to make sounds

4. We must observe the other person's small movements, attitudes, expressions, and sightlines, and adapt accordingly based on these reactions. Change or stop the topic

5. When using English, you must have a clear outline and master the essentials in advance, otherwise it will not be used smoothly

6. You can finish it in 1 minute, which means you have mastered it. The structure of the content is eliminated, and a conversation with a clear structure and clear focus is easy to understand even in English

7. When speaking, imagine that there is a river between you and the listener, so that the listener can reach the other side. , you need to set up several "stepping stones", and the important information point is whether the "stepping stones" can be placed appropriately, which is the key to determining whether the communication is smooth

8. Of course, a river that no one has ever successfully crossed means it cannot be crossed easily. But as long as someone succeeds and discovers the secret to crossing the river, others can barely cross the river based on the secret. This is inspiring communication.

9. The order of expressing opinions: ①Explain the current situation ②Reflect on the current situation compared with the past, and specify the reflective point of view ③So it will become like this

10. Many people will I forget all the knowledge I learned in class because it has nothing to do with my own experience

11. Get used to thinking from the other person’s perspective and find out what the person in front of you needs

12. When inputting, be sure to process at the same time

13. Take notes in advance and re-output the knowledge within 1 minute, and the knowledge will leave an impression in a "mature way"

14. Talking is the best way to remember. Collecting basic information, reorganizing it into a one-minute conversation, and then telling it to others is an effective way to attract the core of knowledge

15. Think about the causal relationship and priority between each sentence, and develop the ability to establish a logical structure

16. If you want to use 1 minute to talk about the key points, the premise is to completely structure the content in your mind and filter the essence

17. Your boss is very busy and very smart. He doesn’t need you to spend 15 minutes explaining the proposal in detail. You only need to state the proposal’s appeal in one sentence and the biggest advantages and disadvantages, and he will understand. , and this only takes 1 minute. At the same time, don’t forget that there must be a sentence that arouses his interest in the proposal

18. Be sure to add slogans worth noting to the speech

19. The key is to convey the message "I have thought carefully" in a 1-minute conversation

20. The most terrifying thing is to approve a proposal without knowing its shortcomings

21. If you want to express your message concisely and contagiously, the TV commercial of "One inch of time, one inch of gold" can be said to be the best teaching material. At the same time, finding someone to imitate is also a way to get twice the result with half the effort

22. You only have one chance to listen to others, and you only have one chance to ask questions. Don’t give up easily

23. Asking questions The target is usually someone with higher technology, knowledge or ability than ourselves, and these people are usually busy, so we must constantly think about how to ask the best questions in a limited time. Take 1 minute to ask questions! ① Take notes and write down questions while listening to others. ② Prioritize problems and narrow the scope. If you think of five questions, at least the top two ones won’t be stupid questions. ③One question is limited to 10 seconds. Self-introduction, summary, etc. must be as concise as possible. ④ Before actually asking questions, tell the other person that you want to ask a few questions.

24. Apologize at the beginning, and then explain the situation. 25. If you know the pattern of your mistakes, you can know how to prevent them. 26. Use 1 minute to teach! ① Let the other party recognize the current situation. Identify what the other person lacks and what they are not good at. ?Propose rules for the other party to improve, that is, "training projects." Prepare short and incisive suggestions such as "Think clearly before running." ③Clearly propose the “end point”.

Propose a successful case and tell the other party what benefits there will be after success. Finally, deliver a "Problem Solution Card" and hope that the other party will achieve their goals.

25. Give instructions in 1 minute ■ During the planning process, keep thinking about "what to give next" ■ When you want to propose solutions to problems, it will be simpler to submit a report. ■Make a step-by-step list and hand it over to your subordinates. This is especially important during handovers. It can also be helpful to secretly write down a working understanding within the scope where the other party can find it.

26. Use 1 minute to build a good relationship! .Look at the person’s business card, accessories or clothing to find a starting point for the conversation. ■"What good TV programs have you watched recently?" "What good TV programs have you watched recently?" TV-related topics are safer. If a certain degree of relationship is successfully established, coupled with follow-up emails, it will deepen each other's impression.

27. Use 1 minute to scold!

① Simply focus on the facts, write down the bad points on paper, and make a "warning memo". ② Talk to the other party based on the "Warning Memo", guide the other party to explain the reasons, self-reflect, write them in the "Warning Memo", and then identify the key points for improvement. ③ Use a red pen to circle the most important points in the "Warning Memo", use a blue pen to circle the countermeasures to avoid making the same mistake again, then write the date and the names of the two people, and give it to the other party for safekeeping.

28. Not wasting other people’s time is the best courtesy

29. Reduce stress, improve work efficiency, and even achieve a relaxed and leisurely life

30. Environmental protection The problem is not limited to carbon dioxide. I think too much nonsense is also an environmental issue in human social life