Joke Collection Website - News headlines - Excerpts from 5 to 10, the selected articles are limited to short and pithy, and the abstract standards are inspirational, reasoning, affection, human feelings and the way to be a man.
Excerpts from 5 to 10, the selected articles are limited to short and pithy, and the abstract standards are inspirational, reasoning, affection, human feelings and the way to be a man.
Buddha Miller is enthusiastic and happy, so many people come, but he doesn't care about anything, and his accounts are improperly managed, so he still can't make ends meet. Although Wei Tuo was a cook in charge of accounts, he was unhappy all day, which was too serious. He made fewer and fewer friends and finally died.
Buddha found this problem when he was looking for incense, so he put them in the same temple. Maitreya was in charge of public relations and greeted all the guests with smiles, so the incense was flourishing. And Wei Tuo is impartial, he will be better than others, so let him be in charge of finance and strictly control. In the division of labor and cooperation between the two people, the temple flourished.
In fact, in the eyes of the master of employing people, people without waste, like martial arts masters, can hurt people by picking flowers and flying leaves without expensive swords. The key is how to use them.
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(2) A person went to buy a parrot and saw the front sign of a parrot: This parrot can speak two languages, and the price is 200 yuan. In front of another parrot, it was written: This parrot can speak four languages, and the price is 400 yuan. Which one should I buy? Both are shiny, very flexible and lovely. The man turned and couldn't make up his mind. Suddenly I found a parrot with a tooth missing. Its coat color is dim and messy, and its price is 800 yuan.
The man quickly called the boss: Can this parrot speak eight languages?
The shopkeeper said, no.
This person is strange: then why is it so old, so ugly and so incompetent that it is worth this number?
The shopkeeper replied: because the other two parrots call this parrot boss.
This story tells us that a real leader is not necessarily strong in his own ability. As long as he knows how to trust, how to delegate and how to cherish, he can unite forces stronger than himself and thus enhance his value. On the contrary, many people with very strong abilities are too perfectionist and hands-on, and no one can match them. In the end, I can only be the best researcher and sales representative, but I can't be an excellent leader.
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(3) A. As a white-collar worker in a joint venture company, I feel that my ambition has not been appreciated by my superiors, and I often think: If I can meet my boss one day, I will have a chance to show my talents! !
A's colleague B has the same idea. He went one step further and asked the boss when he got to and from work and figured out when he got into the elevator. He also took the elevator at this time, hoping to meet his boss and say hello.
Their colleague c went further. He learned about the boss's struggle in detail, made clear the school where the boss graduated, his interpersonal style and his concerns, carefully designed a few simple but weighty opening remarks, took the elevator at the calculated time, and greeted the boss several times. Finally, he had a long talk with the boss one day and soon won a better position.
Fools miss opportunities, wise men seize opportunities, and winners create opportunities. Opportunities are only given to those who are prepared, and the word "preparation" is not just talk.
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(4) A psychology professor visited the madhouse and learned about the living conditions of lunatics. After all, it's an eye-opener to think that these people are crazy and act unexpectedly.
Unexpectedly, when I was about to return, I found my tire dropped. "Some madman must have done it!" The professor thought angrily and began to get the spare tire ready to install.
This is serious. The man who got off the tire actually dropped all the screws. You can't get on without screws and spare tires! The professor was at a loss. Just as he was in a hurry, a madman jumped up and sang an unknown happy song. He found the professor in trouble and stopped to ask what had happened. The professor ignored him and told him out of courtesy.
The madman smiled and said, "I have an idea!" " "He removed one screw from each tire so that he had three screws to install the spare tire. The professor was pleasantly surprised and very curious: "How did you come up with this idea?" The madman smiled and said, "I am a madman, but I am not a fool!" " "
In fact, many people in the world, because they find pleasure in their work, always show different fanaticism from ordinary people, which is hard to understand. When many people laugh at them as crazy, others may still laugh at him as a bookworm.
Stupidity and cleverness are especially a good attitude in China.
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(5) A doctor is assigned to a research institute and becomes the person with the highest academic qualifications. One day, he went fishing in the small pond behind his unit. It happened that the director and deputy director were around him and were fishing. He just nodded slightly. What are these two undergraduates talking about?
After a while, the director put down the fishing rod, stretched himself and walked briskly across the water to go to the toilet. The doctor's eyes are about to fall off. Floating on the water? Really? This is a pond. When the director came back from the toilet, he also floated back from the water. What's going on here? Doctoral students are hard to ask, he is a doctoral student!
After a while, the deputy director also stood up, took a few steps and floated across the water to go to the toilet. Now the doctor almost fainted: no way, go to a place where Jianghu experts are concentrated? Doctoral students are also very anxious. There are walls on both sides of this pond. It takes more than ten minutes to go to the toilet opposite, and it's too far to go back to work. What should I do?
Doctoral students don't want to ask the two directors. After holding back for a long time, they got up and stepped into the water: I don't believe undergraduates can pass, but my doctoral students can't. The doctor fell into the water with a bang.
Two directors pulled him out and asked him why he had to go into the water. He asked, "Why did you walk there?" The two directors smiled at each other: "There are two rows of stakes in this pond. Because it rained these two days, the water just rose below the surface. We all know the location of the stake, so we can step on it. Why don't you ask? "
Education represents the past, and only learning ability can represent the future. People who respect experience can take fewer detours. A good team should be a learning team.
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(6) A said to B, "I want to leave this company. I hate this company! "
B suggestion: "I raise my hands in favor of your revenge!" " ! This broken company must give it some color to see see. But now is not the best time for you to leave. "
Ah q:?
B said, "If you leave now, the company will not lose much. You should take advantage of the opportunity in the company, try your best to attract some customers for yourself, become a unique figure in the company, and then suddenly leave the company with these customers, and the company will suffer heavy losses and be very passive. "
A thinks what B said is very reasonable. So he worked hard and got what he wanted. After more than half a year's hard work, he has gained a lot of loyalty. /FONT & gt;
When we meet again, B asks A: It's time to jump, so hurry up!
A smiled indifferently: the boss talked to me for a long time and was going to promote me to be the assistant to the general manager. I have no plans to leave for the time being.
In fact, this is also the original intention of B. A person's job is always just for his resume. Only by paying more than you get, and letting the boss really see that your ability is greater than your position, will you be given more opportunities and create more profits for him.
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(7) Once a small country came to China to pay tribute to three identical gold people. The golden wall was brilliant and the emperor was very happy. However, this small country is not kind, and at the same time a question arises: who is the most valuable of these three gold people?
The emperor thought of many ways to ask the jeweler to check, weigh and watch the work, all of which were exactly the same. What shall we do? The messenger is still waiting for a return. A vast country, you don't even understand this little thing? Finally, an old minister who abdicated said that he had an idea.
The emperor invited the emissary to the main hall, and the old minister confidently took three straws and inserted them into the ear of the first gold man. The straw came out of the other ear. The straw of the second gold man fell out directly from his mouth, and the straw of the third gold man fell into his stomach without any noise. The old minister said: the third gold man is the most valuable! The messenger was silent and the answer was correct.
This story tells us that the most valuable person is not necessarily the most talkative person. God gave us two ears and one mouth, which was supposed to make us listen more and talk less. Being good at listening is the most basic quality of a mature person.
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(8) Before a master performer took the stage, his disciples told him that his shoelaces were loose. The master nodded his thanks and squatted down to tie it carefully. Disciple turned his back and squatted down to untie his shoelaces. A bystander saw all this and asked inexplicably, "Master, why did you untie your shoelaces again?" The master replied, "Because I play a tired traveler, I can loosen his shoes after a long journey and show his fatigue and haggard through this detail."
"Then why don't you just tell your disciples?"
"He can carefully find that my shoelaces are loose and enthusiastically tell me that I must protect his enthusiasm and encourage him in time. As for why I untied my shoelaces, I will have more opportunities to teach him to perform in the future. I can talk about it next time. "
People can only do one thing at a time, and only by grasping the key points can they become real talents.
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(9) Chen Atu is a farmer in Taiwan Province Province and has never been far away. After saving money for half my life, I finally joined a tour group and went abroad. Everything abroad is very fresh. The key point is that Chen Atu joined a luxury group and lived in a standard room. This makes him novel.
In the morning, when the waiter knocked on the door to deliver breakfast, he shouted, "Good morning, sir!" "
Chen Atu froze. What does this mean? In my hometown, strangers usually ask, "What's your name?"
So Chen Atu shouted, "My name is Chen Atu!"
If so, for three days in a row, it was the waiter Chen Atu who knocked at the door and said "Good morning" loudly every day, and also replied loudly: "My name is Chen Atu!"
But he was very angry. This waiter is so stupid that he asks his name every day and tells him that he can't remember. Very annoying. Finally, he couldn't help asking the tour guide, "Good morning, sir!" " What do you mean? The tour guide told him, oh, my God! ! That's a real pity.
Chen Atu practiced saying "Good morning, sir!" This word allows you to deal with waiters with dignity.
Another morning, the waiter knocked at the door as usual. As soon as the door opened, Chen Atu shouted, "Good morning, sir!"
At the same time, the waiter shouted, "I'm Chen Atu!"
This story tells us that interpersonal communication is often a contest between willpower and willpower. Either you influence him or he influences you. If we want to succeed, we must cultivate our own influence. Only those with great influence can become the strongest.
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(10) There was a rich boy who loved jiaozi very much and ate it every day. But he is very cunning. He only eats stuffing and throws the tips of his skin into the river behind him. The good times didn't last long. When he was sixteen, a big fire burned his whole family, and his parents died in anger. I'm penniless now, so I'm embarrassed to beg. The neighbor's sister-in-law is very nice. She gives him a bowl of mushy noodles for every meal. He studied hard and came back after three years. He must thank his neighbor's sister-in-law
Sister-in-law told him: Don't thank me. I didn't give you anything. I put away the jiaozi tips you lost in those years, dried them and put them in sacks. I wanted them to plan ahead. I gave it back to you just when you needed it.
Big officer person thought for a long time, for a long time. ...
There is a famous March 8 theory: eight hours of sleep and eight hours of work, everyone is the same. The difference between people lies in how to spend their spare time. Time is the most affectionate and heartless thing, and everyone has the same thing, which is fair. But people with resources may not be successful, and those who make good use of resources will be successful. Living during the day and developing at night are the requirements for talents in 2 1 century.
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(1 1) Three people are going to be put in prison for three years, and the warden gives each of them a request. Americans love to smoke cigars and asked for three boxes of cigars. The French are the most romantic and want to be accompanied by beautiful women. The Jew said he wanted a telephone to communicate with the outside world.
Three years later, the first person who rushed out was an American, with a cigar in his mouth and shouting, "Give me a fire, give me a fire!" " "It turned out that he forgot to make a fire.
Then the French came. I saw a child in his hand, a beautiful woman holding a child in her hand and a third one in her belly.
Finally, the Jews came out. He held the warden's hand tightly and said, "I have been in contact with the outside world every day for three years." My business has not stopped, but has increased by 200%. To express my gratitude, I send you an old Schleswig! "
This story tells us that what kind of choice determines what kind of life. Today's life is determined by our choices three years ago, and today's choices will determine our life three years later. We should choose to get in touch with the latest information and understand the latest trends, so as to create our own future better.
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Two men met a big tiger in the forest. A quickly took off a pair of lighter sports shoes from the back and put them on. B was so anxious that he scolded, "What are you doing? Changing shoes can't beat the tiger! "
A said, "I just want to run faster than you."
2 1 century, no sense of crisis is the biggest crisis. Especially after China's entry into WTO, telecommunications, banking, insurance and even civil servants, which we think are very stable and secure, will also face many variables. When more tigers come, aren't we ready for running shoes?
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(13) Father and son live on the mountain and drive ox carts down the mountain to sell firewood every day. The old father is more experienced, driving in the town, the mountain road is rugged and curved, and the son has a good eye. He always reminds him when he wants to turn: "Dad, turn!"
Once my father didn't go down the mountain because of illness, and my son drove alone. At the corner, the cow refused to turn, so the son tried every means to get out of the car and push and pull, lured by grass, and the cow did not move.
What the hell is going on? My son is puzzled. In the end, there is only one way. He looked around to see that no one was there. He leaned close to the cow's ear and shouted, "Dad, turn!" " "
The cow responded and moved.
Cows live by conditioned reflex, while people live by habit. A successful person knows how to cultivate good habits instead of bad ones. When more good habits are accumulated, there will naturally be a good life.
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Five-year-old Hank went to work in the forest with his father, mother and brother. Suddenly it began to rain, but they only brought a poncho.
Dad gave the poncho to mom, mom gave it to my brother, and my brother gave it to Hank.
Hank asked, "Why did my father give it to my mother, my mother gave it to my brother and my brother gave it to me?"
Dad replied, "Because dad is better than mom, mom is better than brother, and brother is better than you." We all protect the weak. "
Hank looked around and ran to spread the poncho on a delicate flower swaying in the wind and rain.
This story tells us that the real strong man is not necessarily powerful or rich, but how much he helps others.
Responsibility allows us to accomplish things, and love allows us to do things well.
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(15) A scholar went to Beijing for the third time to catch the exam and lived in a shop where he often lived. Two days before the exam, he had three dreams. The first dream is that he grows cabbage on the wall. The second dream is that it is raining. He is wearing a hat and an umbrella. The third dream is that he is lying naked with his beloved cousin, but his back is to his back.
These three dreams seem to have some profound meanings, so the scholar hurried to find fortune-telling dreams the next day. Hearing this, the fortune teller patted his thigh continuously and said, "You'd better go home. Think about it, isn't it futile to grow vegetables on high walls? Isn't it unnecessary to wear a hat and an umbrella? Isn't it impossible to lie naked in a bed with my cousin, but back to back? "
Hearing this, the scholar was disheartened and went back to the store to pack his bags and prepare to go home. The shopkeeper was surprised and asked, "Isn't there an exam tomorrow? How did you go back to your hometown today? "
When the scholar said this, the shopkeeper was happy: "Hey, I can interpret dreams, too. I think you must stay this time. Think about it, isn't it high to grow vegetables on the wall? Doesn't wearing a hat and an umbrella mean that you are prepared this time? Lying naked in bed with your cousin doesn't mean you should turn over? "
Hearing this, the scholar made more sense, so he took the exam happily and got a flower exploration.
Positive people, like the sun, shine wherever they shine, while negative people, like the moon, are different on the fifteenth day of the first month. Ideas determine our lives. What kind of ideas, what kind of future.
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The little camel in the zoo asked his mother, "Mom, mom, why are our eyelashes so long?"
Mother camel said, "When a sandstorm comes, long eyelashes can make us all see clearly in the storm."
The little camel asked again, "Mom, why are our backs so camel and ugly!" " "
Mother camel said: "This is called hump, which can help us to store a lot of water and nutrients, so that we can endure it for more than ten days without drinking water or eating in the desert."
The little camel asked again, "Mom, why are our soles so thick?"
Mother camel said, "This can prevent our heavy bodies from sinking into the soft sand, which is convenient for long-distance travel."
The little camel was very happy: "Wow, we are really useful!" " ! But mom, why are we still in the zoo and don't go hiking in the desert? "
I was born useful, but no one uses it now. Good mentality+successful teaching materials+infinite stage = success. Everyone's potential is unlimited, and the key is to find a stage where they can give full play to their potential.
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(17) Once seven people lived together and shared a big bucket of porridge every day. Sadly, there is not enough porridge to eat every day.
At first, they drew lots to decide who would share the porridge, one serving a day. So every week, they are full only one day, that is, the day of porridge sharing.
Later, they began to elect a noble person to share the porridge. Power will lead to corruption, and everyone began to try their best to please and bribe him, making the whole clique filled with smoke.
Then everyone began to form a three-person porridge Committee and a four-person selection Committee, attacking each other and wrangling, and the porridge was cold in their mouths.
Finally, I came up with a method: divide the porridge in turn, but the people who divide the porridge have to wait for everyone else to pick up the last bowl left. In order not to eat the least, everyone tries to distribute it equally, even if it is uneven, you can only admit it. Everyone is happy and kind, and life is getting better and better.
The same seven people, different distribution systems, will have different ethos. Therefore, if a unit has bad work habits, it must be a mechanism problem, and it must not be completely fair and open, and there is no strict reward for diligence and punishment for laziness. How to formulate such a system is a problem that every leader needs to consider.
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(18) What kind of people do I want to cooperate with?
Someone once interviewed Bill Gates about the secret of his success. Bill Gates said: Because there are more successful people working for me.
Chen Anzhi's super success theory also mentioned: first work for successful people, then cooperate with successful people, and finally let successful people work for you.
There are many successful people, but I have never known them in my life and I can't work for them. Let successful people work for me. At this stage, I don't have the strength.
Only cooperation is what I like and appreciate most. I also try my best to cooperate fairly with more people with a relaxed environment and active team, and run an anti-risk career for myself in the future. My favorite partner should have the following characteristics:
First, I don't want to. 2 1 century, the biggest crisis is that there is no sense of crisis, and the biggest trap is satisfaction. People should learn to see the world with binoculars, not myopia. Think about finding a way out for yourself in prosperity, and know how to find a way out for yourself in adversity.
Second, strong learning ability. Education represents the past, and learning ability controls the future. Know how to learn from any detail and everyone, and know how to draw inferences from others. The most important thing is that learning is actually learning, learning. Learn once and do it a hundred times before you truly master it. Learning, doing and teaching is a complete process. Only when we reach the level of teaching can we really understand. And more often, learning is an attitude. Only modest people can really learn something. The sea is a sea because it is lower than all rivers.
Third, strong action. Only actions will have results. Different actions lead to different results. Knowing not to do it means not knowing, and doing it without results means not doing it. If you don't make mistakes, you will make mistakes, because those who don't make mistakes must not try. It doesn't matter if you are wrong, you must be good at summing up and then do it until the correct result comes out.
Fourth, we should know how to give. If you want to be outstanding, you must pay first. A man who haggles over every ounce has only two pounds in his life. Without dedication, it is impossible to start a business. Let others know that your value is greater than what you get, and others will pay a higher price.
Fifth, have a strong sense of communication. There is no limit to communication. It is more an attitude than a skill. Of course, a good team must have the same vision, which can't be achieved in one day. Need to communicate all the time, from goals to details, even to family and so on. , are the contents of communication.
Sixth, sincere and generous. Everyone has different positions, so it is impossible to ask for the same interests. The key is that everyone should be frank and clear, and don't compromise. Believe that honesty is the best cornerstone of cooperation.
Seven, have the most basic moral values. Once a reporter was writing at home, and his four-year-old son clamored for him to accompany him. The reporter was very angry, so he tore the back cover of a magazine and said to his son, "You put the world map together first, and dad will play with you." After less than five minutes, my son came to hold his hand again and said, "Dad, I finished spelling, please play with me!" " "
The reporter was very angry: "It is understandable for children to play, but it is not good to lie." How can you spell out the map of the world so quickly! "
The son is very wronged: "but I really fought!" "
When the reporter saw it, it really happened: No? There are prodigies at home? He asked curiously, "How did you do it?"
The son said: On the back of the world map is a person's head. I spell backwards, as long as this person is good, the world will be complete.
So be a man in advance. If a person does well, his world will be good.
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