How to write a family announcement

XXXXX (surname) must do five things every day: report for duty, do tasks, raise a semi-luna park, water the sacred tree at home, feed the cows, surf the Internet three times a week, do not swear, contribute more, and contribute 1 000 yuan per week (10 RMB = game currency), which is not very demanding. Please join us actively.

Can you understand? If you can understand this announcement, your family will be welcome.