Copywriting jokes

Copywriting paragraphs (selected 78 sentences) 1. Cold on Monday, braised on Tuesday, steamed on Wednesday, fried on Thursday, stir-fried on Friday, plus happy seasoning, paired with leisurely wine, on the weekend I will prepare a blessing meal for you, and hope you enjoy it happily. 2. Three drunkards came to admire the moon. Drunk A said: "There are two moons in the sky." Drunk B said: "There are three moons in the sky." None of them agreed with the other, so they invited Drunk C to be the referee. Drunk C said slowly and leisurely: "Which line of business are you talking about?" 3. The sleep talk meeting in a boy's dormitory lasted until three o'clock in the morning, and he suddenly wanted to discuss a question: "What should you say first when you meet a beautiful girl?" A certain gentleman woke up from his dream and said: "Stop talking, let's go to sleep!" 4. One day my husband asked me: "What will you do if I die?" I said: "Go shopping and eat with your best friends and continue to have fun." Then I asked him: "What will you do if I die?" He said viciously: "Go shopping and eat with your best friend and have fun." 5. Your lover should be as gentle as water and as sweet as honey, and your colleague should be hard-working. If you want to be a loser, my friend will choose someone with a pig head and a dog's brain and a runny nose. So, my dear, wipe your nose quickly during the Chinese New Year and celebrate the New Year cleanly! 6. Yesterday, my friend invited me to eat hot pot in his dormitory. When I entered, I saw a group of young men gathered around a large basin with various hot pot ingredients and vegetables! There are 2 sticks inserted in the basin and it heats up quickly! Should I admire your creativity or your courage? 7. My friend got married, and the host invited me to the stage and said, "Today is your good brother's wedding day. Can you come up and say something?" I was a little excited: "Then order sweet and sour carp and braised pork ribs. " 8. The company worked overtime until midnight, and everyone's eyelids were fighting. One girl lamented: "I really want to be like a 'cause' now." When everyone asked why, the girl said: "It's just a person lying on the ground with all four limbs." "On the bed." As soon as he finished speaking, a male colleague next to him muttered: "Sleepy." 9. It's very difficult for a man: If you know how to make money, you're afraid of having a second wife; if you don't make money, you're afraid of weaning your children; if you want to get married, you're afraid of regrets. Don't get married, for fear that she will regret it; have a child, for fear that you will have no money to support her; don't have children, for fear that no one will take care of you when you get old. It’s difficult for men too.” 10. I went and dropped my phone in the toilet. I was poor and had no money to buy a phone. I salvaged it, dried it, and continued to use it. I found that the Internet speed was much faster than before! 11. My boss asked me, “Are you okay after get off work?” ? Invite you to have a meal together? "I said; "Okay! no problem! ". The boss turned to the secretary and said: "Xiao Liu, order an extra fast food, they will work overtime tonight. ” 12. If you have a lot of homework, you can play cards with papers: “Mathematics for children”, “I’ll do three Chinese languages”, “I’ll do comprehensive science!” "I can't afford it" "I can't afford it" "I can't afford it" "Three English, I'll run away first" 13. According to the latest research by scientists, one hundred men participated in the experiment. After each person drank twenty bottles of beer, Everyone became extremely talkative but illogical, cried easily, behaved impulsively, their driving skills declined, and their weight increased. Therefore, scientists concluded that beer contains trace amounts of estrogen. 14. One time my best friend drank too much! He rushed into the men's room carefully, and in front of the panicked faces, this guy pretended to be calm and shouted loudly: "What are you afraid of! I didn’t bring a ruler~~~” 15. Late at night, my husband didn’t come home. My daughter anxiously called her mother: “Mom! If he hasn't come back yet, there must be another woman! "My mother comforted me softly: "Silly boy, be good, don't think about the worst, maybe you were in a car accident! ” 16. Being busy, making money is difficult, annoying, spending money, working hard for a whole month, and spending it all in a few days. If not for good performance, you have to live on old food. I have struggled for decades, just to marry a bride. I wish you all the best. You are busy. Your career is prosperous and your wallet is full. 17. The child came to his mother crying, and the mother asked: What's wrong, baby? Child: Dad accidentally hit his finger with a hammer. Mother: Why are you crying? : Because I just laughed. 18. When I went to the toilet, I saw Brother Kun polishing his shoes frantically, cursing, and asked with concern: "What's wrong, Brother Kun, who messed with you?" Brother Kun complained: "Damn it, kids nowadays are so clingy!" So annoying! The host was shocked: "Aren't you single?" Where did the child come from? Brother Kun smiled strangely: "Newborns can't do it!" ” 19. Making money is as quiet as a virgin, spending money is as active as a rabbit; making money is slow as a mouse, spending money is as fierce as a tiger; making money is hard work, and spending money is endless; making money is a waste of time, and spending money is a romantic person. In fact, Think about it carefully, why make money if you don't spend money, so I hope you can be happy with your earnings and spend your money happily! 20. A frog called the pastor and asked about his fate. The pastor said: "Next year, there will be a young girl. Will come to know you.

The frog jumped up happily: "Oh, really?" Was it at the prince's wedding? The pastor said, "No, it will be in her biology class next year." 21. I was waiting for the bus at the bus stop in the morning. There was a man and a woman standing next to me. They were talking affectionately. The woman suddenly said, "Are you strong in limbs?" The man said, "Don't I have well-developed limbs?" " 22. I ordered a couple's set meal with a best friend. When I went to the restaurant, I was told that it could only be enjoyed by couples. My best sister grabbed my hand, turned her head and gave me a mouthful of pop. Then she said to the waiter: " Who told you that a couple must be a man and a woman? "I was instantly petrified! 23. Once, several colleagues went to the United States to buy things in a supermarket and discussed in Jinan dialect. An American came over and said in standard Jinan dialect: "Are you from Jinan? Sweating, it turned out that this foreigner was a descendant of Americans who stayed in China during the previous war. His colleague asked him: "How is your English?" The foreigner slapped his thigh and said, "English is so damn difficult to learn!" "Haha, are you laughing? 24. In fact, the process from a lady to a tomboy is from a girl to a mother. I think back then I was also a lady who spoke as softly as a mosquito, and now I am the mother of two children. Yesterday I took the bus and the person next to me A girl wanted to get out of the car. She said several times and the driver didn't hear her. Her face turned red with anxiety. I couldn't help shouting. Someone got off the car and opened the door. The door opened immediately. I didn't realize when Become a man. 25. Someone yelled in the office: The director is a ball! The director just came in: I am a ball, what are you? This person reacted quickly: We are a ball, and we will unite closely around you. 26 .Sorry, I accidentally deleted it! Are you Shen Jinbin? Or is it Liu Mang or Qin Shou? If not, then you must be Zhu Tou! Awesome! I can ask you for help when I encounter problems that I don’t understand. I can rely on you to defend myself when I’m in danger. I can also use you as a decoration at home... You are really a multifunctional super fat encyclopedia! 28. I was having dinner with a friend, and suddenly I got a call and asked him to go on a blind date. The introducer said that the girl was very beautiful, with big eyes and double eyelids, and he came back after half an hour. I asked why, and he said no. Why can’t he have big eyes and a double eyelid face? He said that it is indeed a big eye and a double eyelid face, but the top of the face is upward, upward, upward. 29. Doctor: “I want to give you a prescription, but. Why can't I find my pen? The patient reminded carefully: "Doctor, didn't you put it in my armpit?" 30. Regarding the college entrance examination coming soon, I want to tell everyone that you must apply for Jiangsu, Zhejiang and Shanghai. School is not important, and major is not important. Anyway, you can find a job. Free shipping is the last word! Save the postage and dress yourself up and rely on yourself. Being a genius is your only way out! Then find a man, don’t ask for too much, just have money. 31. On the train, two people sitting next to each other talked. One of them said: Ronaldo, I admire him, he passes football. I make a lot of money from sports. Second: We are together, and I also play football. First: You are wrong, I am a surgeon. 32. My girlfriend and I said, "Let's live in only four square meters." That’s enough. Let’s put a 2×2 bed in it, hang a TV on the wall, and make do with it, don’t you think so? My girlfriend glanced at me and said, "I don't have any problem with the size of the house. I just want to know if you can do it when you get home and go to bed." " 33. We chatted with a girl and talked about dating. I said that my cousin graduated from a prestigious university and had a car and a house but no girlfriend. She asked why. I answered that my brother is scary-looking and scares away girls. The result She called me a pervert. I wondered why my brother's ugliness had anything to do with me. 34. Do your parents have a look on their face every time there is an English conversation on TV? Turning to you eagerly and asking "Can you understand?" Can you understand them all? Can you understand everything without reading the subtitles? ” 35. I want to hold you in my hand, but I’m afraid it will break; I want to hold you in my mouth, but I’m afraid it will melt; then there are only two choices, hold you in my arms or put you in my heart. We ourselves Guys, would you like to give me some advice? 36. One day a scalper met a snail, and the scalper sarcastically said, "They are both called cows, so why is there such a big difference between them?" ! The snail said calmly: "That's right. We have had our own house since we were born, and you still live in that shabby shack!" ” 37. The teacher asked the students to write a proposal for tuition and grades. Yisheng wrote: Pay tuition with Alipay, pay at the beginning of school, give grades after classes and tests, and then confirm receipt of goods. Good or bad comments can be dealt with. Teacher comments : I think it will work. 38. In the evening, several families gathered together to have dinner and drinks.

A said: His wife has gained N pounds again and is not as popular as before. B put down his glass and said: If it doesn’t work, change it. This caused A's wife to glare angrily, and B said calmly: If it doesn't work, just change the scale. 39. When we were young, we were childhood sweethearts. I would sing and you would dance with me. I could sing 200 songs and you could dance 200 dances, so people affectionately called me Erbai Ge and you Erbai Wu! 40. Tongtong asked his mother: "Why do you call Mr. Jiang 'ancestor'?" Mom said: "Because 'ancestor' is a name for the dead." Tongtong said: "Do the deceased grandmothers want to It’s called ‘Fresh Milk’. 41. Who knows more football rules? A said: I’ve watched a lot of football games! B asked: Really? Said: Then tell me how many holes there are in the football net. 42. In spring, it is fragrant when it is decorated with flowers; in summer, it is warm when the sun shines; in autumn, it is no longer depressed when there is a fruitful harvest; in winter, I will give you more. Add some grass and you won’t be cold. Haha! I wish you happiness! 43. Zhen Huan went to the roadside to buy pancakes. It is refreshing. It's great for refreshing your mind! If your heart is roasted and tormented, wilted and scorched, wouldn’t it be a failure? "Auntie: "Speak in human language! Zhen Huan: "Don't put green onions in the pancakes!" ” 44. During lunch, I heard that a murder occurred in our neighborhood the day before yesterday. The reason was that a young man in his twenties hooked up with a landlady in her forties, and then the woman’s husband discovered it. The result was that the man The landlord and his son killed the man in their own home. 45. Recently, I often went to Lazy Lai across from the company to eat pork ribs and rice. In order to get closer, the boss pointed out the way for us brothers and said, from now on, you can use takeout. I ordered it first, and then came right after get off work and served a few meals. Yes, I tried it decisively, but the meal was gone when people arrived! 46. Let me tell you a few ways to quickly relieve the heat: it is best and coolest when it is the hottest. The best way to relieve the heat is to look in the mirror, check your bank card balance, and pinch your belly. Look at the QQ invisible status of your sweetheart. Are you feeling cold now? 47. Go for bone hyperplasia? During the waist X-ray, nurse MM came over and asked me to stand next to the machine. There were only two of us in the room. MM whispered: Take off your pants! I was shocked. Fortunately, I was wearing boxer briefs today, otherwise I would be scared to death by the pile of hair. You. 48. My eldest sister’s naughty child, who is in the second grade of elementary school, likes to hit other children at school. One time, my brother-in-law apologized and said that the children should be educated properly! The child told me that if your child doesn’t spank him on any day, that day will be like the Chinese New Year! 49. Son: Can I have a little brother? Mom: No, your dad is very busy now and doesn’t have time to help mom give you a little brother. Son: Why don’t you ask your neighbor’s uncle for help? 50. The flowers are red. The grass is green, and I am true to you. The sky is blue, and the sea is deep. It is impossible to live without you. 51. On this day for women, I have something to say to you. What I have always wanted to tell you is that - I have two lives: one is when I was born, and the other is when I met you! 52. One morning I was taking the bus, it was a bit cold, I had a cold, and I stood alone. Next to him, he was catching up on his sleep. I suddenly sneezed and hit his face. He rubbed his eyes and said to himself why it was raining. I turned my head away in embarrassment. 53. I put happiness in it. Tong"zi, health is wrapped with "tiao"zi, sweetness is inlaid with "wan"zi, happiness is accompanied by "wealth", happiness is carved into "red", giving you happiness every day! 54. A village chief and a goddess, As soon as he entered the bottom, the goddess said: "You will die if you go in." The village chief hurriedly exited, and the goddess said, "You can't survive if you go out." The village chief asked the goddess, "Go in and out to keep you safe." Male colleagues can’t talk to female colleagues. Male colleagues: A woman can’t talk to you with two mouths. Female colleague: Even if you have three legs, you can’t catch up with one. Then the female team leader laughed, and everyone laughed. There is a sign indicating that the speed limit is 40 kilometers. The instructor asked: What is this sign? The apprentice was stunned and said: No parking! The instructor stared: What does it mean? 57. Let’s go. When I arrived at the entrance of an alley, a beautiful woman greeted me: Handsome guy, come in and have some fun. I was moved to tears. After all, after more than thirty years, someone finally recognized me as a handsome guy, and also a beautiful woman. If you don’t bring any money, I will definitely go in with you.

58. The difference between men and women; a fat woman is plump, a thin woman is slender, a tall woman is slender, and a short woman is delicate. When a man is fat, he is like a pig, when he is thin, he is like ribs, when he is tall, he is like a bamboo pole, and when he is short, he is like a winter melon! 59. A customer ran into a tailor shop angrily, pointed at the fashion designed for him by the shop owner and said, "I was standing on the corner of the street yawning, and the two guys who sent the letters stuffed the letters into my mouth!" 60. Marriage Proposal: The family is poor, 1.49 meters tall, has a rural registered permanent residence, has a primary school education, has a dilapidated house with three rooms and one acre of thin farmland, and has no wife who can make a hot pot or a hot stove. He is always willing to take medicine all year round. Today, he is recruiting girlfriends through text messages to join hands. Are you willing? 61. I admire your free and unrestrained expression and calm gaze, I am fascinated by your proud and majestic attitude in the wind, I admire your broad mind and magnanimity in doing things, I admire your heroic spirit and courage, and I even love your roaring and madness when you chase and bite Lu Dongbin! 62. I would like to be a flying bird in the sky. The air pollution is too bad. If we do tree trimming on the ground, deforestation and logging are unreliable. If the people of the world want to be happy, environmental protection must be done first! 63. I have only been in love once in my life, but this relationship left me with lifelong pain... "Why, the woman you love married someone else?" "No, she married me." 64. In fact, In my heart, you have always been a person who is particularly patient, charming, able to fight, and dedicated. Most importantly, you are particularly able to endure hardship... Sorry, I added the word "bitter". 65. When the wind blows, the clouds are carefree, when the raindrops fall, the stream smiles, when the snow falls, the red plum blossoms are in bud, when the flowers bloom, bees and butterflies surround them, and when I miss you, my brows light up with joy. I don’t feel distressed when I miss you, I love you and am enveloped in happiness! 66. Yijun came back from the barber shop pretending to be cool. When he opened the door, all the girls exclaimed: Cool guy is here! He scratched his head in embarrassment: Where! where! Just a cool haircut. It happened that the teacher walked by and said seriously: Even if you pick up some trousers, you have to hand them in! 67. A medical student asked the librarian: "Are there any latest books and periodicals on anatomy?" "Anatomy needs to be the latest. Could it be that there have been any new changes in human bones in recent years?" 68. Beauty is a woman The pass she received was obviously a sugar-coated bullet, and the man was hell-bent on pleasing her. A woman who lacks visual effects is obviously good medicine, but because of her bitter taste, men often cannot make up their minds to marry her. 69. The sun is shining in the sky, the scorching sun is smiling at me, the little bird says early, why did you get up so early, I have to go to military training, it will be bad if you are late, the instructor scolds, stand in military posture, go back at night and turn into black carbon! I wish those of us under military training can complete the training safely! 70. The shopping mall was conducting a promotion and advertised "Buy a refrigerator and get an air conditioner for free." After someone bought the refrigerator and was waiting for the mall to give away the air conditioner, the mall staff said: "Sir, where is your air conditioner? We can send it back to you!" ” 71. Yesterday, my friend bought a mimosa plant at the plant store. Since it was his first time growing this plant, he felt it was fresh, so he went to touch it. However, he called this morning to say that the mimosa plant was dead. Friends, you guessed it right, I was played to death by him for a day. 72. Pilot: Control tower, I don’t have enough fuel. Control Tower: Please stay calm and slow down immediately. Adjust the fuselage to the best gliding angle. Can you see the airport? Pilot: I'm parked at the south apron? I just want to cheer. 73. One day, Mantou was walking on the road and saw a car crashing into Wanzi. Mantou rushed to save Wanzi regardless of his own safety. As a result, there is one more food in the world - pizza. 74. I was out that day and met a handsome young man who was riding an off-road motorcycle and was riding fast and boldly. I thought to myself that young people are really cool and they are a generation of heroes. Before I could finish thinking about the ending, I saw the motorcycle being thrown down. 75. Go to bed earlier and you will be in better spirits; laugh more and your colleagues will be more harmonious; send more text messages and you will have deeper friendships; chat online and talk nonsense. Work hard and make lots of money. When you meet a beautiful woman on the street, keep your eyes sharp to avoid being flattened! 76. I seemed to be still, as if I was awakened from a long sleep and started to move. Are you really in front of me? Are you really breathing, talking and laughing in front of me? 77. The teacher taught the international students the wonderful things about Chinese characters: crooked means incorrect; prison means a person is imprisoned! The teacher asked the students: What is the symbolic interpretation of the word donkey? ! An international student answered: A donkey is a horse with a registered permanent residence! 78. Pig and puppy talk: Brother dog, what do you want to do in your next life? Dog: I want to be a human, what about you? Pig: I still like being a pig. A few years later, the dog's wish was not fulfilled, but the pig learned to read text messages!