⒂ random feeling15-the benefits of finding children

⒂ random feeling15-the benefits of finding children

? The day before yesterday, when I was talking with a fellow initiate about how to communicate well with children, fellow initiates asked my husband and wife to write down 50 advantages of children.

? After fellow initiates told me this, I thought of something good about the child. Thinking hard, I really can't remember 50 at the moment. I am ashamed because I pay less attention to my children. When I told my wife about it, she said it was easy to write. I think she's joking. Last night, when I was driving to pick up my children from school, my wife said to me in the car, "I wrote the advantages of 50 children in one breath." It only took 20 minutes, and Lian Bi hasn't stopped yet! "

? I am surprised that my wife has written 50 advantages in such a short time, and they are very in line with the actual situation of children. After reading it, a vivid and excellent child appeared in front of me, and the description was quite in place. My wife's literary talent is not as good as mine, but when it comes to children, it's really a flower in the pen. Whenever the child's past is mentioned, his wife's eyes are really sparkling, eloquent and endless, like telling a story, one by one. Writing is easy to come by; Say, open your mouth and come. When a person does not pay attention to another person, he is unaware of this, and his wife's concern for children can be seen. Compared with me, I am really poor. It's not just a big problem, it's just a difference. My wife asked me to talk about the advantages of the child found in the car. I said, "Handsome, kind, sunny, hardworking, filial, law-abiding, sincere to my friends, love playing basketball, respect for the old and love for the young, love and compassion …", and I tried to find these points. The wife said, "I haven't written the 50 advantages I am looking for." I want to write 100 to find it. "

? Why can't I think of so many advantages after all my efforts? Is the perception not strong? Or is there something wrong with IQ? Nothing. Needless to say, I usually pay too little attention to my children and pay too little to them. How can you gain anything by opening your mouth? Pay and gain are always in direct proportion. If there is no sowing in spring, there will be no flowering in summer, no harvest in autumn, and there will be only a hungry winter. Am I not? Normally, I don't pay too much for my children. I just meddle, meddle, meddle. I only look at the results, I just want the results. A child is like a seed, which has a normal process of rooting, sprouting, flowering and bearing fruit. I didn't inject nutrition into him when he took root; I didn't water him when he sprouted; I didn't fertilize him when he blossomed, all I wanted was results. Without the usual careful efforts, how can we bear attractive fruits? In the process of his growth, he also had the suspicion of slow growth, long flowering period and small fruit, which were all shortcomings and deficiencies in his eyes. I think my thinking is to point out shortcomings and correct them to become a better person. For example, "Dad didn't point it out to you in time, how do you know to correct your shortcomings and deficiencies?" I say the advantages of others just to set an example for you and let you learn from those good students. Am I wrong? "I don't know, this has caused great harm to children. This is what I feel after learning NIP and communicating with fellow initiates. What I see every day is shortcomings, that is, attacking the child every day and hurting his self-confidence. What confidence does he have to grow into a towering tree? There is something wrong with my way of thinking, and I am still arrogant there. Slowly, slowly, over time, my children have been extremely troubled and I am still numb. Not to mention fertilizing, watering and nourishing children is actually a good excuse to hurt children in the name of indirect "love"! I love you. But this kind of "love" and "love" is only the result, and there is no "love" process. The process does not "love", does not pay attention, and only sees many shortcomings and few advantages. How can you take advantage of 50, 100?

? The survey shows that 20% of parents can find the advantages of children 10 or more, 50% find four to nine, and 30% actually say that children have no advantages. In the process of children's growth, find less advantages and more disadvantages. They are not only uncertain about their own strengths and weaknesses, but also obsessed with their own shortcomings and deficiencies. How can we make children have the enthusiasm for learning? How can we get good grades? Problem children's problems are largely caused by parents' blind accusations.

? The process of discovering advantages is actually the process of appreciating children. The more you appreciate it, the more lovely, amiable and excellent it is. Looking at a child with appreciation, his advantages are more than 50. 100. But I can't see these, I only see "ranking" and only "results". The result is that children are either not confident or give up on themselves. The more you look for the advantages of your child, the more you feel ashamed, and the more you look for it, the more you feel sorry for your child. Why can't you say something that makes your child sound warm? In fact, everyone wants to be recognized by others. I think I know "appreciation education", but I just don't calm down when I encounter problems.

? From this experience, children will be happy every day if they are encouraged, praised and found the bright spots in their bodies.

? Children are happy, and I am happy!

? 2065438+May 7, 2008 16: 1 1 Yanzhou, Chen Tao