202 1 is a joke.

First, it's useless for people who are on the same road to squeeze.

Secondly, some people even say that I wear eye shadow, which is an insult to my dark circles.

Third, God gave me a stomach to eat food, but he didn't give me the status of a local tyrant.

Four, the three sentences that touched me most: I brought you delicious food, I invited you to eat delicious food, and I took you to eat delicious food.

A friend told me that she would come to see me after she lost weight, and I was very nervous. Perhaps this is the most tactful farewell.

Sixth, for the tall thing of losing weight, let's wait until we are full.

Seven, black and white style can set off the temperament of Laozi.

Eight, look up and brag, take a deep breath.

Nine, every woman who has failed to lose weight for a long time has a girlfriend who has been ineffective for many years.

Once upon a time, there was a fat man who heard that yoga could lose weight, and God was worth it. Two months later, he became a soft fat man.

Eleven, the ex-boyfriend sent a text message late at night: How are you? I replied tactfully: I'm sorry she fell asleep.

12. Only bow your head when lighting a cigarette and be gentle with the person you love.

Thirteen, don't talk about others easily, first look at what you are.

Fourteen, people are doing things, people are watching, you have to manage labor and capital.

Fifteen, the crowd searched for him for thousands of Baidu, and suddenly looked back at the man in the cafeteria at the door.

Sixteen, I want to live a good life, regardless of the fucking day, night and sunset.

Seventeen, I've been looking for you as a bitch all my life.

18. Being fat is not a crime, but God is jealous that you will be too perfect if you lose weight.

Nineteen, after reviewing, I took a Xinjiang name. From tomorrow on, people can call me a wise man. Naye won't come back? Quanbuhui.

Twenty, mathematics is actually very simple, only 90 points is difficult.

Twenty-one, my youth is not so gorgeous, but very luxurious.

Twenty-two, I know why I have been unable to lose weight, because there is a you in my body.

23. Someone asked: How big is your school? I replied: The aunt who sells mala Tang in the west gate of our school refused the pursuit of the uncle who sells rice noodles in the east gate because she didn't like long-distance relationships.

Twenty-four, the three most popular diseases at present: procrastination, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and difficulty in choosing. To put it bluntly, it is lazy, cheap and poor.

Twenty-five, to lose weight, fat people are shouting, and thin people are doing it.

Twenty-six, suddenly understand what is meant by "important things said three times", generally speaking, Weibo said it again, space said it again, friends said it again.

I am fat because I have a lot of things in my heart, and I am not thin.

Twenty-eight, when I love you, you eat shit and think you are cute. When I don't love you, you eat shit and think you eat shit.

Twenty-nine, I hope all the money in my wallet loves each other and have many children ~

Thirty, you can't afford the so-called eternity, and you can't wait for the so-called eternity.

Funny talk about 202 1

1, the only reason I am fat is that my body is too small to hold all my personality.

Last night, there was a loud noise and a flash of lightning passed by. I thought I had crossed the line. Damn it, the power is out!

Altman is the richest man in the world because ATM says ATM.

I shed a tear when I was lovelorn, so I got the Pacific Ocean.

I want to make a lot of money for my father, and then I will be a rich second generation.

6. Hold you in my hand and close my palm. I can't stop you!

7. I want to improve my life. I don't eat dried noodles. I want to eat instant noodles.

8. The light lengthened my figure and slowly disappeared. So I'm invisible.

9. Do you think I will watch you die? I'll close my eyes

10, I thought I was decadent. Today, I realized that my morning paper was scrapped.

1 1. When listening to the sermon in the church, we should keep quiet. It is impolite to disturb others' sleep.

12, I drink to drown my pain, but this damn pain has learned to swim.

13, if you see a shadow in front, don't be afraid, it's because there is sunshine behind.

14, I am a bird, I want to fly, but I can't fly high. Huh? I have no long hair.

15, it takes thousands of years to change from a monkey to a human, and only one bottle of wine is needed to change from a human to a monkey.

16, I couldn't stand it anymore, so I took out the mirror and meditated: I still can't learn well when I grow up.

17, because I took one more look at you in the crowd, and then I went blind.

18, donor, poverty comes from charity. Do you have fried chicken legs+coke, roast chicken wings+orange juice?

19, I can't sleep every night. If I fall asleep one night, it must be abnormal or I am dead.

20, you have to believe, believe that we will be like fairy tales, frogs and dinosaurs are endings.

2 1, I skipped classes too much. I wanted to go to class yesterday and met my teacher. The teacher was surprised and said, it's been so long, so long …

God, I will never call you grandpa again. You don't love my granddaughter at all

23. Zhuge Liang didn't take a single soldier before coming out of the mountain. You want me to have work experience!

24. I dreamed of Meng Po last night, so I said to her: Meng Po gave me a bowl of vinegar, and my stomach has been bad recently!

25. When you were born, you cried and they all laughed; When you left, you smiled and they all cried.

26. People who play with their brains have white hair so quickly that I have black hair.

27. Don't mess with my sister. I have a secret weapon: fan you to death, fan you to death, fan me to death.

28. If cutting my hair means cutting my memory, will I lose my memory if I cut my hair?

29. I wanted the paper plane to take me into your heart, but it crashed on the way.

I bought an egg, but I accidentally broke it. I know I have no fate with this egg.

3 1, it turns out that our biggest rival in love is not mistress. It is time.

32. Why do I often have tears in my eyes? Because I ordered eye drops.

33. After a handsome breakup, I shook my head and threw away my wig.

34. Even if a woman is like clothes, your sister's golden underpants are not affordable for you and others.

When I get rich, I will buy 100 million bicycles for everyone in China. I take the bus by myself?

There are too many bacteria in the outside world. I'm afraid I'll get infected as soon as I go out.

37. Whoever is unkind to me, I will write his phone number on the wall, and then write: Marriage is not limited to men or women.

38, guest officer, please respect yourself. Little girls only sell themselves, not entertainers.

39. The garden can't be closed in spring. I'm pulling apricots from the wall. QQ personalized signature

40. Every day, I keep setting a new world record, and the number of days I live in the world.

4 1, it is said that the only animal in the world that can maintain eternal love is the hedgehog-because hedgehogs can never get too close.

42. I put the TV remote control on my waist, making it look like I bought a new mobile phone.

43. Money is not everything. Sometimes you need a credit card.

44. Rich people hold a money field, and those who have no money go home and get some money to hold a money field.

45. Picking up girls is like hanging up QQ. Soak her for two hours every day, and the sun will rise soon.

46. Take the bus in the afternoon, take out the bus card and bump into the slot.

47. I won't bend over when money falls from the sky, because even pies don't fall from the sky, let alone money.

48. You are the first song in my heart, which always makes me thrilling.

If one day I become a pervert, please don't forget that I am innocent.

Everyone else is pretending to be serious, so I have to pretend not to be serious.

Funny talk about daquan 202 1

1, the difference between people and pigs is that pigs have always been pigs, but people are sometimes not people!

2. I want to be strong. God put me on the earth to make me a boss.

3. At night without orangutans, I attract you with monkeys.

4. It's hard to love someone. It's fun to love two people, but it's over to love three.

Sometimes it is more difficult for you to get through a person's phone than to get through Ren Du's second pulse.

6, QQ has been flying for a long time, and I want to play drift when riding a bicycle!

7. One worships heaven and earth, one worships Gaotang, and the other worships himself. Good-send it to the examination room. ...

8, handsome and can't go to the bank to swipe your card.

9. The hearts of employers and employees are also made of meat. Do you think it's stainless steel and waterproof?

10, I heard that it's 35 degrees on Qixi, and it's so hot that you're all paired up.

1 1, you said your brother was Conan and your name was Chen Ke (kowtowing) …

12, genetics tells us calmly that cross-species love is doomed to have no good results.

13, laughing and crying, crying and laughing. ...

14, please don't interrupt the TV series during the advertisement.

15, every summer, I always think, "Nothing, I'll make it up in winter."

16, sometimes I really think kissing can get pregnant.

17. Book me two tickets to heaven. I will personally find Yue Lao and force him to lead me with a red line.

18. When I grow up, I want to open a couple school. Couples will be given half of their homework and the exam will be free.

19, a woman without talent is a virtue, and I think I am too wicked.

20. I come from the earth, so don't talk to me about Martians.

2 1. If I can forgive your vulgarity, can you tolerate my compulsion?

22. If the relationship is long, when will you stay married?

23. Mr. Summer vacation, don't leave me. Shall we start over? I really love you and hate Mr. School! !

Summer vacation came and I haven't been back in the morning.

25. I am not happy once I review. If I'm unhappy, I won't review. If I don't review, I will be very happy. The happy day will pass.

26. When I saw you, I consciously pretended to be Altman.

27, not afraid of stealing tools, afraid of stealing children to understand technology!

28. How many couples have been created by reading and how many marriages have been destroyed by teachers.

29. Lao Tzu, never dance dazzle again! ..... because I removed the space!

Whenever adults praise me for being quiet, I want to open my mouth and laugh at you ignorant humans.

3 1 There is a loaf of bread. I was hungry when I walked, so I ate by myself.

32. If you are not happy to sleep, let him go. It's okay to be sad, but it's not good to hurt your stomach

When I was a child, my mother often gave me a cup of foreign coffee. I didn't know it was Banlangen until I grew up.

I can't find you in Baidu, so I have to go to sogou!

Don't be infatuated with me, because I'm just a legend. Don't be infatuated with elder sister, she will make you vomit blood after removing makeup.

36. After breaking up, I don't expect anything. I just hope that every woman in your future is not as good as one. ...

37, don't give elder brother discharge, sister-in-law there is caller id!

38. Leave your name if you do good, and run away if you do bad.

39. At the beginning of life, you are kind in nature, and you are a hero if you don't do your homework. What should the teacher do when checking? Raise the broom and work with him.

40. Help if you are in trouble, and help if you are not.

4 1. If you can't tolerate me, it means that you are either too narrow-minded or my personality is too great.

42. Everything will be fine. All shall be well, jack shall have Jill, but there is no lover suffering from heatstroke in summer.

43. Sudden rain can't wet the wings of ducks; Strong winds can't extinguish the light of fireflies.

44. Have you been single for long? I saw a sow with beautiful eyes recently.

45. Tell you a ghost story: school will start soon.

Rain God Rain God, come to my house and give us a heavy rain.

47. I wanted to be a lady, but life forced me to be a bitch.

48. In winter without your hand, I still live a wonderful life with a hot water bottle.

49. Blind date is to reveal the grave, confession is to dig the grave, marriage is both selfish, mistress is to rob the grave, and divorce is to move the grave.

50. This is obviously stupid, but it is not a reverse thinking.

5 1, we are not afraid of the teacher, but we are afraid that the teacher will call the parents.

52. I broke up once and said I had a stomachache.

53. As soon as others praise me, I worry that others praise me for not being good enough.

54. You are a genius, I am a talent, and you have no second one more than me.

If you are ill, don't call me. I'm not a vet.

56. There are fewer people crossing the street with grandma and more people crossing the street with mistresses.

57. Cut the wires with a kitchen knife, and sparks accompanied by lightning all the way.

58, shallow tortoise, big brother everywhere.