There is always a grievance in my heart that I can't get rid of. What should I do?

No resentment is more important than health. I used to have a lot of resentment My husband cheated on four women, including a woman 20 years younger than him, a yoga practitioner and his colleagues. When I learned about it, I felt that the sky was falling. I didn't eat well for seven days, didn't sleep well, and didn't recover for a year. I'm like Sister Xianglin. Did anyone see me say how I got seriously ill? I have passed now, be kind to myself, everyone in the world has failed me, and I can't fail myself. I do what I want to do, buy my favorite clothes and eat what I want to eat.

I quarreled with my husband again today. In my life, I have always thought that all small things can be noisy until the cold war for several days without talking.

I am 9 1, and he is 90 years old. I chased him at first, and many things happened in the middle. Fengzi got married. Finally, we got married. This man is violent. I don't know why I still live with him after 10 years. I gave birth to two boys, with average family conditions, and both of them are still working. Little care about me, male chauvinism. Take care of everything, don't talk to men, WeChat can't have male friends. After being with him for so many years, I don't have any friends around me. There are only a few girlfriends, and we can still talk. If I say too much, I also say why not go to someone else's house.

Why don't you find someone else every time you quarrel? Everyone else's house is good. You found someone else. The point is that I told him, I said a word, don't communicate, or you can think whatever you want and do whatever you want. Hehe, or shake your head and refuse to communicate. I am really tired.

It's been a tiring year. Let me admit my mistake. Everything is my fault. It's obviously a child.

I also want someone to care and be considerate. Someone asked if there was any money to spend. I obviously want to look like an innocent girl. But she became a woman who had to rely on herself for everything.

I want a divorce, but I can't bear the children.

My friend said that if I get divorced, I can find someone better than him.

I don't know whether I still love him or I can't bear the children.

I also have grievances. It will probably be with me for the rest of my life.

I live near my sister-in-law. Before marriage, my husband built a two-story building in my sister-in-law's house. My husband and my husband's family pay, and my sister-in-law's family goes out of the land. It is planned that we live on the second floor and the elder sister-in-law family live on the first floor. They haven't moved in yet, but they still live in the old building, which is a little behind our new building. My sister-in-law has three children, all of whom are under six. Noisy every day, the child has a big temper and cries endlessly. My sister-in-law's husband and father-in-law are drunks, especially my brother-in-law, who is always drunk and makes chickens fly and dogs jump. There are many contradictions between adults in their family, and quarrels are common. My room is close to their home. I always feel very upset and easily influenced.

I knew these things before I married my husband, thinking that I could tolerate and understand all this. But after a long time, I feel mentally tortured. I quit my job during pregnancy and came back here to raise my children. My sister-in-law often takes her children to see it, at least three or four times a day. At first, I didn't know how to refuse. Her children are already noisy in her house, and she brought them to my house to make trouble. Children don't care much, they just come in and out of my room. I really can't stand this noisy life with a big belly. I told my husband if I could ask your sister to bring fewer children. I didn't expect my husband to ask me to respect his sister, so that it wouldn't be so hard for the child to come here to play with his sister. I am really disappointed.

When the child was born, my mother-in-law took care of me with two uncles and a five-year-old child. It's really a swarm. Four older children are playing in my house. I can't sleep well. My daughter is often afraid of them. I really don't want to put up with this noise. I eat and four children run around me. I really want to tell the adults to leave, but my sister-in-law always helps us buy food when I am confined. It's hard to tell. She always brings her children to my house at any time. Finally, my children fell asleep, and she brought them back. There are many such situations, and I'm really going crazy. Why can't she have some vision? ?

Noisy children are only part of it. My sister-in-law is very dependent on my husband and asks him for everything. Her husband is an alcoholic, not a director. She always comes to complain about her misfortune. At first, I will listen and feel that we should understand each other. But over time, I think her misfortune has made us suffer a lot. I began to yearn for that quiet and simple life. When people live close to each other, there are many things. My husband always gets a lot of money from me. As long as he thinks his sister has no money, or should give it, he will give it to her. My husband has two older brothers who live far away from us. They usually don't care much about their eldest sister-in-law, but my husband can't let go. I think my husband and her sister are too close. If my mother-in-law comes to my home for retirement and my aunt comes again, my little home will be very busy and there is no time to stop. I think everyone has an independent family, or put their own family first. Better have a home.

My husband and I often quarrel because of my sister-in-law, and feel that every aspect of life is influenced by her. I really want to escape from this home without a sense of belonging and security.

I made it clear to my husband that as long as we continue to live together, your sister will always be our contradiction.

How can we get rid of this resentment?

It's simple. If you can vent, vent well. If you can't vent it, you can't hold it. Emotional illness can be discharged through the body.

Some time ago, there was a dispute with the property because of the decoration. At that time, I was so angry that my chest tightened and my back tightened. Still unhappy at night, from mood to body. I quickly sat up, rubbed the hepatobiliary area behind me and burped a lot. Then, the body is comfortable and the mood is much better.

People can't hold their breath, or completely vent their emotions, but in reality, many times, we can't vent, even if we vent, we can't enjoy ourselves, and may even hurt innocent people. It is better to dredge your body, your body is unobstructed and your mood is good.

The simplest way is to dredge the liver and gallbladder meridians and the bladder meridian behind them. Regularly dredging these meridians will dispel the old qi you are holding back and make people not angry when things happen. Body and emotion interact and can adjust each other.

Don't hold your breath, otherwise, you will be in a bad mood and may lead to various diseases, such as breast cancer, thyroid cancer, uterine fibroids and cervical cancer.

Everyone knows the truth, but the truth is in front of us, and her grievance is hard to get rid of: my sister-in-law bought a house in 2005, and I offered to lend her 80 thousand. At that time, she said she would pay back 10 thousand a year. As a result, she not only didn't return it, but her second child grew up, bought a house to decorate and get married, and followed 50 thousand. Because she is the youngest in the family, my brother said that she had a hard life and gave her more help. Now she bought one, and it makes me sick to think about it! I wanted my relatives to help me more, but as a result, people thought rich people were stupid, so you didn't discuss it.

I also had a hard time with my sister-in-law. In the past, when we were in trouble, she relied on us for everything. Now they have a car at home and treat them to dinner with delicious food. The children are still in our house. It's really a pity. Finally, I heard her tell her that we were not good. Even when I was seriously ill, she didn't even look at me and ran outside to talk.

I am a long-distance married woman. After marriage, I have two sons. When the children are older, I live a separate life. When my husband is not busy, I work at home and take care of the children. I go to my husband's place one month before Chinese New Year every year because he is busy there. After years of quarrelling, he became silent. A year after his death, I felt sorry for him because he couldn't cook. Let's eat jiaozi! Who knows what to do, jiaozi? He stood behind me without talking or helping, so I said I was busy with the bowl. Why am I standing? He said a word, who knows you let me eat! I was so angry that I wouldn't let you eat it. Who did I come all this way to cook for? I am angry because he can't talk. There are many such things. I haven't talked to him for a year now, and I haven't answered the phone.

Go and see the terminally ill patients around you. When life enters the countdown, treat every day as the last, and maybe the resentment will be gone.

My two sisters-in-law are about my age. Unfortunately, within a year, cancer was detected one after another. One is breast cancer and the other is lung cancer. Spending huge sums of money on treatment has dragged down the family and life has entered the countdown. Every time I think of them, I will say to myself: Live well, cherish the present time, and don't dwell on some unnecessary things. Life is too short to know which comes first, tomorrow or accident.

Go to the hospital and see how happy we are. Without healthy body, our family is safe. It's good to have more money and less money, and contentment is always happy!

We should allow ourselves to mourn, just don't indulge in it, just like the ancients managed water, but we can't stop it blindly, but we have to dredge it. If you have a lot of resentment recently, vent it, but don't disturb others. I usually write it out.

Find a piece of paper and write down all my complaints. At that time, I abandoned all my qualities, that is, venting. After writing, I tore the paper hard and washed it down the toilet.

If this still doesn't work, then run, run to the death, until you can't move a step, exhale, and vent all your grievances.

Then go home and take a hot bath, make yourself a cup of hot tea, play some music, read some books and sleep. Tomorrow will be fine. If it is not good, repeat this procedure.

Many people may tell you, forgive, forgive, let go of hate, that is, let go of yourself and the past to better embrace the future. However, these unpleasant words are all empty. Anyone can say that things are not on his own head, and anyone can say grandiose words, which seems to be rational restraint.

But no one can be so calm when it's their turn and can't easily open the knot in their hearts. Let's not talk about what to do. Let's talk about what we shouldn't do. Getting stuck in this knot every day will affect your work, study and life. The consequence of obsessing is that you will get stuck in that emotion more and more.

But there will be situations where you can't help thinking, so find something to do for yourself. You can exercise, talk to others and find a listener. At this time, the role of good friends is really important. Sometimes you feel that maybe this matter is not as serious as you think, and it is not worth spending so much time and energy on this unworthy thing.

And don't worry, time is really a good medicine to heal everything, do what you should do well and leave everything to time. The best advice I want to give you is to study. Of course, it's better not to be one of those silly high school romance novels. Others, no matter what books, settle down and read.

Slowly, you will find that you are not so impatient and anxious, you can start to think calmly, and you will really think rationally about the significance this matter brings to you, and what attitude you should take to look at its impact on you. Reading is really like a process of talking to others and yourself. You will gradually settle down, see the wise behavior in the book, or see other people's living conditions, and maybe you will feel that this matter of yours is actually nothing, and it is not worth your energy and good mood.

Therefore, my suggestion is to arrange things for yourself, give time, read more books and settle down.