Don't talk to me about gambling.

I always felt unhappy before, but I didn't know that I had ruined my happiness. There is nothing to look forward to anymore, because this family is broken, because I am broken! ?

After 90?

I was born in 1993 after the 90s. No matter how hard my parents are, they only give me the best. There has always been a saying, don't be afraid if you have no money, there is one at home. At that time, I was frugal, and I would wear a pair of sports shoes to the end. I wouldn't buy it if my family didn't see it. ?

/kloc-in July of 0/6, I graduated from university and came to the society, with a bright future. Because all the friends I knew before graduation were several years older than me, I naturally entered the society first. At that time, like a greenhouse vase, I chose to share a room with my friends because it would have a care. When I came to the house they rented, I realized that they had never worked, but just played in the room. ?

At that time, it was also the first time that I experienced those fashionable things. There are three people living in the dormitory, and the two computers win hundreds in turn according to their own plans. It is novel for me to read it. They all earned money on the first day of their stay, so naturally they celebrated my arrival. I was surprised at the speed at which their money came. 500 a day, 15 thousand a month, no wonder they don't work. At that time, it was a great temptation for a newly graduated college student, but I chose to submit more resumes to find a job. ?

However, my work is not as satisfactory as I imagined. I just left the society, my eyes are high and my feet are low. I was soon hit, and I was a little afraid of work. Because I watch them play in a dormitory every day, I naturally know the rules of the game of the times. I tried my best to charge 200 that day and won 400 successfully. Then I won hundreds in the next three or four days. I fainted at that time. It turns out that you can win hundreds a day. What can I do at this rate? At that time, everyone made money, but I don't think it makes sense to let them invite me every time. So for several days in a row, I pawned the bill several times. ?

During that time, laziness has made me feel that I can make money without looking for a job, and I don't have to look at people in the interview. But it didn't last long. On that day, I met the so-called black swan incident. I didn't open any code when I bought it, and I felt that I was being targeted. I'm crazy, and I've lost all my profits and my family's savings. That night, my head was numb. ?

Later, through friends in our dormitory, we realized the online loan platform. On that day, I took out 20 thousand yuan, and God knows how satisfied I am. Because I have so much money in my hand for the first time, although it is not mine. But I know I have enough bullets. That's good. All the losers won, winning two thousand. The IOU is a bit like a stone. I'll return it to him right away and tell myself to be steady. But soon, I was more courageous than before. From the initial bet 1000, my hands and feet trembled, and then I made the biggest bet, 5000. ?

At that time, I lent out the cleared online loan again, and this time I was not so lucky. I successfully lost 20 thousand online loans, I'm afraid. My friends in the dormitory comforted me and said it was okay. You should be steady, make a plan and come back early. I was afraid that my family would know about it. Out of the idea of saving myself, I chose to leave them, because I knew it was difficult for me to go to work in this environment, so I chose to go back to my hometown to find a sales job. ?

17 years 12 months, I worked very hard for eight months and never touched online gambling again. I quickly paid off 20,000 yuan of online loans. I really felt relaxed and happy at that time. Because I have realized the actual work, I am very satisfied with my salary, although it is only 3.5 thousand. This should also be the first pot of gold for my first job after I left the society. That year, I won the first place in our new sales, and I got a reward of 1000 yuan. I am full every day. ?

But it didn't last long. Because of the company's system, the sales of the store itself depend on commission. Our store was abandoned by the company first, and I got the basic salary of 900 yuan for three months in a row. Because before, my salary fluctuated from 3,500 to 5,000 yuan every month, and I paid it to 900 yuan every month. I occasionally go out to eat with my friends. Finding that I can't support myself, I really can't stand choosing to resign. Unemployed for two months In May, I was introduced by a friend to a state-owned enterprise as a dispatcher. Because of the system, the office of this state-owned enterprise is very idle. ?

So I watched the nba live broadcast, and a barrage on the live broadcast attracted me, which was the periphery of the Internet. After I clicked in to register, I said I wanted to send money. Anyone who is a little addicted to gambling knows that I am curious about the baby model again. So when state-owned enterprises are free every morning, I will choose one or two games to play a single festival. At that time, I had begun to have no intention of working. The leader is very kind to me, probably because I am a new boy. ?

It was profitable for a few weeks, and I won three or four thousand dollars. At that time, I went to work energetically. Because of the success of my various sandwiches, I think I am an nba master. Then the black swan came out and slapped me. I lost all my profits, including a few hundred dollars on myself, and there are more than 200 left. I am very unwilling, but the nba game is over. I clicked on a thing called Baccarat, because I saw the movie and thought it was novel, so I started playing. As a result, that day, I won all the losses in the nba in the morning and won more than 3 thousand yuan. At that time, I no longer played in the nba. Because I think it's faster and more exciting, and I can get a result in 30 seconds. As we all know, I came to the deeper sea. ?

During the Mid-Autumn Festival on 20 17, I won more than 10,000 baccarat. I am very bloated. After the Mid-Autumn Festival with friends, I feel a little dizzy when I go home. I made 10,000 yuan and 2,000 pieces with the power of wine. After losing three times in a row, my drinking power is getting stronger and stronger. I started to press 2000,4000 frantically, and soon 10,000 was gone. I wanted to change money at that time, and no one borrowed money in the middle of the night. I opened the previous online loan and found that because I haven't borrowed it for a long time, I gave it 65 thousand this time. I seem to see hope in ecstasy. I rolled out all 65 thousand, fantasizing about calling back 10 thousand or 20 thousand and I won't play?

But the evil door, what killed me, that night, I lost all 65 thousand online loans, and then I rolled two 20 thousand. But luck seems to have gone away from me. In just three days, I lost 1 1 ten thousand. I figured out that I had to pay 9500 yuan a month. I was confused for a few days and chose to confess with my family, but I didn't say that I was gambling. I only said that I was in college and did a little business with my friends, but I never said that I had been making up for it. My parents are reluctant to buy shoes and clothes because I am usually frugal, so they believe me and tell me to be happy and not to think too much. If I return it, consider it as the car I bought for you. ?

I cried so hard that day that I kept blaming myself. This is also my second time ashore. Although I passed by home, that night was also the best sleep I had in a year or two, and I was very practical. The third time, because I was still working in a state-owned enterprise, I felt bored and unwilling in less than a month. I lost to Baccarat 1 1 10,000 for no reason, but I have never been reconciled. I carefully charged 200 yuan to kill time. The door was evil that day, so I pressed everything. Since I won 12000 yuan with 200 yuan. ?

At that time, everything was delicious, and we won a total of * * * 40,000 for two or three consecutive weeks. Because of my debt to my family, I gave my family 25 thousand at the thought of winning so much, and then the remaining 15 thousand was used as bullets. Later, when I thought that my father said that I had lost a car, I thought, I can't. My car was given to it for nothing, so I bought a150,000 scooter with my profit as collateral, thinking that I would not pay it back every month. My family asked me how I got the car, and I was vague. A week later, because I graduated from junior college and worked in a state-owned enterprise, many financial companies gave me a high quota. I borrowed 15 thousand as my gambling money and wanted to make my own monthly payment plan. My monthly payment plan was killed in the cradle on the first day. ?

At that time, I borrowed money crazily, and I paid back all the 60 thousand online loans I had given me before. Because I had a lot of money and enough self-confidence, I began to spend money improperly. Soon, 65 thousand was gone, and I was in debt of 80 thousand I couldn't bear the pressure and chose to confess again. This time I said I gambled, but my family still believed me, told me not to touch it again, and gave me 80 thousand yuan to settle accounts, which still made me happy. It's not terrible to make mistakes, but to make mistakes again and again. I really wanted to change my mind. Although my family is very nervous, my parents never give me pressure. I admit that I lost nearly 200 thousand. ?

At the end of 20 17, after a month or two of plain life, my father suddenly fell ill. This is bad news for me at this time, and Zhuzi fell ill. Because my father's illness is very difficult, I am the only child in my family. The money at home also paid my debts. I am poor and can't afford a nurse. Only my mother and I take care of it. I didn't want it to be too difficult for my mother to resign, so I didn't go to work for half a year and had no financial resources. I started thinking about gambling again. I forgot that my father was ill because of me. It was the same at first, and I always won. I thought it would relieve the pressure at home. I gave all the money I earned to my mother, saying that I was a part-time job. My mother is glad that I quit gambling, but as we all know, this life didn't last long. ?

I'm becoming more and more withdrawn. My friends are far away from me because I gamble. When I make a profit, I only find a place where I want to eat. I go to ktv alone, and gamblers are lonely. But once again, I am reincarnated and strengthened again and again. This time, I didn't choose to confess. I have been looking for all kinds of online loans and even pressing the car. In just half a year, God knows what I have experienced. My debt suddenly reached 380 thousand. On New Year's Eve, I was still hiding in my room gambling, losing and losing, and losing all the time. It seems that I have exhausted all my luck and have nothing to borrow. I even started cheating. I cheated all my relatives and friends of their money. After the outbreak, my mother cried. I said I was hopeless. Don't save me again. My mother said, I must watch you get married, and then I can die in peace! ?

Now it is still in debt of 380,000, and it faces dozens of collection calls every day. My heart is broken. Some people say it's best for me to die, but I can't afford to die. I can't be so selfish, and my family can't pay it back. I have formed a happy family, a family full of hope, and my family has become indifferent and unpopular from a family full of laughter. The lights are off all day. Why do I write so much? Because the lights are more embarrassing! ?

What kind of life would it be if I could go back to the time when I just graduated and didn't go to that friend's rental house to share? It's too late to say anything now, only to find that the 50/ 6057898 that my three generations have been trying to call is not to put pressure on the family, but to turn it into pressure at home. If I make a mistake, I will bet on a dog. Always say that you can't gamble, how to pay your debts, and be selfish. I never think about this family. I don't know how to save myself anymore. ?

Watching my mother go to Lacrimosa every day, how can I keep this family alive? I always felt unhappy before, but I didn't know that I had ruined my happiness. There are no more festivals worth looking forward to, because this family is broken, because I am broken!