Always yelling at children, what should I do if I regret it afterwards?

Seeing this question reminds me of my old self. I am a traditional person and always put my work first. I don't want to be late for work and leave early. Busy at work, I don't want to look at the leaders with dirty eyes and listen to the leaders who are disobedient. When my children were young, I was always angry because my children were in a hurry, and I was always impatient with them. I always yell at my child when something happens to him. As a result, my children and myself are unhappy, and I often lose my temper, and my temper is getting worse and worse. In a bad mood, it is difficult to communicate well with children and rarely praise them. I always criticize children, and my relationship with them is getting worse and worse. I didn't realize at that time that the consequences of doing so were very bad, which would ruin the child's self-esteem and personality. Now I regret it and blame myself. So I advise parents not to yell at their children, to take care of their growth patiently, to cultivate a good character for their children, to overcome more difficulties by themselves, to restrain their impatience and to be patient with their children. The good growth of children is more important than anything else. Don't regret the roar when you are old! Because the reprimand left to the child will affect the child's life, and the result is difficult to reverse! I hope you can learn from it!

Thanks for asking. I have an experience to share with you. I hope my parents will grow up together.

I don't know if your child is a boy or a girl. My child is a five-year-old girl. Let me talk about girls for a moment.

First of all, I have to admit that yelling at children is actually a manifestation of too much fear and anxiety. My children are very slow and like grinding things, especially preparing for school. As a parent, I am afraid that she will be late, that she will leave a bad impression on the teacher, and that it will be difficult for her to achieve great things after she forms this habit. As a result, I got angry. I got angry when I endured it, and then I yelled. In the long run, nothing has changed. I get angry every day and my children are scolded every day. I thought about it, then forget it, I just don't care. Sure enough, she was late the next day and almost missed breakfast. In the future, I will only tell her what time it is symbolically, and it will be late before it starts. Then I quickly set an example by myself and didn't rush her. Instead, she is not slower than usual, or even earlier.

My experience is to adjust my mentality. Many times, as a parent, I am too burdened, think too much, or can't hold my breath at all, and I have a bad temper, so I will get excited with my children.

Secondly, treat the child as an independent individual, and don't take it for granted that he is your property. It makes sense that you gave birth to him and raised him. You can reprimand him with your head held high. We shouldn't be too child-centered. Taking him as a complete person, I believe he can understand your words and your kindness, provided that his parents have something to say.

Finally, it is also the most useful psychological suggestion. My child is a girl, I think so. If I reprimand her every day in the name of love, or even hit her emotionally, she has been used to this model since she was a child and thinks it is love. Then when she grows up, the mode of getting along with her lover or lover will be affected invisibly, and it will be terrible to habitually tolerate those excessive behaviors that are not within the scope of love. I don't want to hurt her at first, and then leave a bad influence for life.

Even for boys, parents are used to yelling to solve problems, and children will be exposed to it, either habitually patient or habitually irritable. What's more, a man born, regardless of age, must be respected, and he will respect others. Otherwise, it is sad to hurt or be hurt by others.

You are too impatient.

Be patient with children and don't lose your temper. Reasoning with him may not have any effect at that time, but it will be fine after a long time. But principled things, such as not playing with fire, not playing with knives and not climbing windows, will directly teach him to remember once, even if he is beaten.

Be kind and gentle. It will get better gradually.

I understand that it is not easy for a mother to take care of her children alone, especially before the age of 6. It is the time when they are most curious and have the courage to try. It's really hard to get the little guy to listen.

It is necessary to make a hullabaloo about in some cases, but only when children are in danger. In fact, many times, yelling has no positive effect on children's growth.

Worry and love seem to be the same thing, but in fact, what children need more is equality, respect and unconditional love. Yelling will make children worry and wonder, "Mom is terrible, doesn't mom love me?" If yelling becomes a habit, it may affect children's self-esteem, and you will find that no matter what you want children to do, it must be effective through hysterical yelling, because children can think.

Therefore, as a mother, we must learn to control our emotions, teach our children patiently, love and worry about them, and ask them to cooperate when they are busy.

If you really can't hold your breath, you must find an opportunity to apologize to your child afterwards, communicate in time, and tell your child that mom didn't do well, but mom is really worried about what happened to you. Let's make an agreement together and what to do in the future. Mom promised to control your temper next time.

Let the child feel enough love and security, so that her self-esteem can be improved and she will be more willing to cooperate with you.

My suggestions are as follows:

1. Take some time to train your child, let him/her gradually develop a regular sleep time, and try to overlap with your cooking time.

2. 15-month-old children can use pacifiers to calm him down when they need to suck, but they should quit pacifiers after two years old, and pacifiers should not be abused. It should be used reasonably according to the main points of use.

If possible, when the children are young, please ask the hourly workers to cook and take care of the children themselves.

Communicate with your husband, adjust the dinner time later, and try to cook dinner when his family can take care of the children.

Try to let your husband take the children or both on weekends or holidays, which can enhance the parent-child relationship and relieve your stress.

6. When you are with your child, try not to give him too many toys to make him feel close to a particular toy, and only give him peace when he/she is noisy.

7. Learn about children's psychology by yourself when you have time. I believe you will get twice the result with half the effort.

8. Cultivate his various hobbies, such as music and dancing. Arrange him/her to do related work when busy, so as to reduce dependence on his/her mother.

That's all I can think of for the time being I hope I can help you.

I won't give examples here.

There is too much news, and many official accounts of parenting WeChat have been written. The only thing I haven't written is the specific details about how we should adjust our emotions in the process of taking care of our baby.

I'd better talk about how I did it myself

Please get into the habit of talking to your baby in a low voice, which is the premise of controlling the lion's roar practice.

I have been talking to Mo Qiang Jian in a low voice since Mo Qiang Jian was born. Although there is no sister baby sounds, I will never show the first layer of lion roar for Mo.

This was supported by family members, and parents and grandparents talked with Mo Qiang Jian very calmly.

Doing so leads to a loud voice, no shouting outside, no harsh screams! It won't make you the object of attention because of the noisy baby outside. You will be embarrassed to shout directly in public, which will only make others look at you more askance!

Disadvantages When you meet an elder who is full of gas, he will be more afraid.

Occasionally, my family or friends will cry when they are loud and powerful, thinking that they have been hurt by the lion's roar, and then come to me for a hug.

I held him in my arms and explained to him:

Uncle and aunt are not yelling at you, just a little louder, but actually talking to you! It's okay, okay?

Get hard and stop crying slowly. Looking at the "strange uncle" with a loud voice in tears.

When you get into the habit of whispering to your baby, you will avoid many problems in the future.

Then you may say, you are an obedient boy. Of course you don't yell.

I ha ha, there is no quiet baby in this world!

If God wants anyone to go crazy, have a baby!

At noon yesterday, when I came back from playing outside to prepare lunch for Mo, he began to cry inexplicably.

I believe every parent has experienced this kind of inexplicable crying. No matter how coaxed, it is useless to do anything. Crying to the back, the only idea is to catch it and beat it up. Make you fucking cry and shut up! )

first time

I'm going to the kitchen to cook noodles for the mill.

Mo Qiang Qiang rushed in crying and hugged my feet: Mom, hug me!

Me: Mom will cook noodles for you!

Bite my teeth and cry red eyes: mom, hug me!

Helpless, I picked him up, walked back to the living room, sat on the sofa and quietly watched him cry in my arms.

After a while, I asked him: Are you ready? Mom is going to cook noodles!

Grit your teeth and climb down silently.

second time

Mo Qiang Jian rushed into the kitchen crying again. I picked him up and walked out of the kitchen. He pointed to the kitchen and wanted to go and have a look.

Me: Cooking in the kitchen. It's on fire. It's dangerous. We can't go there.

Grinding strong: which way to go!

I stood at the kitchen door with him in my arms.

Mo Qiang Jian pointed to the living room: Go there!

I just ...

the third time

I'm just about to take out the carrots and peel them.

The mill is strong again.

Because I was alone, I allowed him to turn on the TV and watch Peggy Piggy divert his attention.

Do you think he will watch TV quietly?

Do you think it's over?

You are wrong again.

the fourth time

He turned off the TV by himself, which is good. Although he can turn it on and off, he won't turn it on without my permission. About habit formation, after a period of time, I wrote it out, and everyone can learn from it. ), approaching me like a zombie in Plants vs Zombies.

Tell you, at this time, my patience has hardened and worn out. My only thought now is to take him back to his room and perform the first layer of lion roar!

Will you stop crying? If you cry again, mom will hit you! You can't stop playing!

Then take out the eighteen palms of the dragon and exhale.

Wow! The world is finally quiet.

Of course, all of the above are my own imagination. I feel like I'm leaving in minutes. Even if I try my best, I can't stop the rhythm of running away. It's like you're going to have diarrhea and then you find someone in the toilet. Tell me, how are you going to hold back?

In the end, reason overcame my animal nature. The little devil inside was defeated by the little angel.

I sit through the honest mill strong in her arms, sitting on the sofa, continue to slow down and ask him:

Can you tell mom what you are crying about?

I slowed down to give myself time to calm down and let him slowly turn his attention to what I said. )

Mill strong don't say a word, continue to cry, my tone is slow:

You just want to cry now, but don't cry if you want to! Mom will hold you until you cry enough, okay? Are you hungry now? Mom, can I cook noodles for you?

……

After about 5 minutes, Jian Mo stopped crying and looked at me with tearful eyes.

I asked him again: can mom cook noodles?

Be strong: mom cooks noodles!

Finally, with the consent of the mill, I took it out and cooked a bowl of noodles.

To tell the truth, up to now, I don't know how I held back when I think about it.

Maybe it's because of my long habit of whispering to Mo, I can't yell at him!

So personally, I think mothers can try this method I mentioned and get into the habit of whispering.

The more upset the baby is, you should learn to control yourself and be more calm.

Keeping calm is one of the skills we must cultivate as parents! * * * Encourage it!

There is only one way, restraint, restraint.

The biggest difference between adults and minors is that you can control your emotions. If you can't do this, you can only say that you are underage. How can you have children and raise children?

I can introduce you to several ways to control your emotions.

1, in addition to children making themselves angry, first think about what is the reason for their anger. Children's mistakes will never make you angry. Have all the trivial things in life been transferred to children? After finding the root cause, solve it, even if you suffer, you can't let your child be wronged.

When you realize that you have lost your temper, open the door and go out for a run. From a scientific point of view, losing your temper is because there is a serious backlog of emotions in your body and you need to vent. Running is a good way to relieve stress. You can try. I used it once and it worked well.

3. If it is simply because of the children's problems, catch up with your hot temper and let others take care of your children, your lover, your parents and so on. This is not to ignore children's lives, but to make them happier.

Finally, I will tell you the harm of being angry with children all the time, that is, it will make children distrust themselves and alienate themselves. Is this parent-child relationship what you want? Don't take this as an alarmist. It's too late to regret.

It will still be like this after regret! !

This is mother's * * * nature!

Every child has a different temper, but every child can easily trigger his mother's thunder point.

I have two boys of my own, even though my baby is recognized as a good boy.

But to be honest, I usually yell at the baby.

You're right. I yell at the baby and regret it. I do it every day.

Honey, this is from the bottom of my heart. You can enlighten yourself from the following aspects.

Mom is also emotional.

Dear, no matter how many babies you are, it's your first time to be a mother.

Why do you say that?

Because every baby is a unique individual. Therefore, for every baby, mothers may encounter problems that they have never seen before.

Therefore, when you encounter problems that you can't solve, there is nowhere to run and no one to ask for help. If you don't lose your temper, you will get sick.

Allow yourself to have emotions and let yourself vent. This is your salvation.

You may ask, you don't have to yell at the children!

I agree, if you can control your emotions and find another exit, I quite agree.

I mean, if you really can't control your emotions for a while and yell at your baby, you should recognize your emotions, don't regret it too much, and don't feel too guilty under the pressure of "positive education".

2, the baby will not get psychological problems so easily.

Yes, I don't think babies will shout out psychological problems so easily.

Most of the current parenting concepts need to be told to the baby.

I quite agree.

But I think yelling at the baby once in a while, in fact, from the baby's point of view, it's just that the mother is neurotic.

They are not so prone to psychological problems and psychological shadows.

Of course, this has to be measured by mom herself.

If you obviously feel that your baby is afraid of his emotions, then you really need to adjust.

But if it is only occasionally out of control, the baby can really bear it.

Every mother and baby have a unique way to get along.

Every mother and son have their own unique way of getting along.

The concept of online parenting is a guide and a reference.

But the child is his own child. He has been with you since he was a child. You care about his joys and sorrows, and he cares about yours.

You actually have a unique connection.

So the way you get along with him should be that you are used to it and comfortable.

As for parenting guidance and parenting concepts, of course, you need your mother to know, but don't tie them too tightly. Remember that mom must be good to herself first!

You can't contain your emotions. How can we find a good state and be a good mother?

Everyone * * * encourages!

Yelling at children is often not worth the loss! Children will be farther and farther away from you and like an unconstrained space. After a long time, children will have a home and don't want to go back, and they will slowly become bad outside. We should be children's big friends, don't put more pressure on them, listen to his words, support the good ones, don't immediately reprimand and stop the bad ones, but lead them to change!