Positive symmetry and effective complementarity

Positive symmetry and effective complementarity are so important!

Couples must watch, every day 1 actual behavior, give you a better life.

1, positive symmetry.

Positive symmetry refers to the two sides in an intimate relationship, stimulating positive language and behavior. What inspires good language and behavior is mutual recognition, gratitude and appreciation.

Example: You came home late, and the other half gave you a bowl of noodles. You said to ta, "thank you, dear, for letting me eat hot noodles and feel the warmth of home." Ta may also say to you, "Thank you, you have worked hard for us and this family."

Recalling these days together, the boys said to the girls, "Thank you for your tolerance and understanding, and for your love for me during the days with you." Girl: "I am very happy because of you." The words of both sides stimulate each other's positive words one after another, thus forming a positive cycle, which is very helpful to promote the relationship between the two sides.

2. Wrong demonstration: negative symmetry.

Similarly, sometimes because one side interprets negative relationship information from words and actions, it will also inspire the other side's negative words and actions.

For example, if you come home late, you want your partner to cook noodles for yourself. You said in an accusatory tone, "I have to work overtime to get home so late, and you don't even know how to make me a bowl of noodles for midnight snack." The other half: "Do you want to eat my cooked noodles when you come home so late every day?"

Tip: Positive words and behaviors will inspire the other person's positive words and behaviors. When two people get along, they can express their gratitude, appreciation, understanding and support to each other.

3. Effective complementarity.

In addition to positive symmetry, there is also effective complementarity, which refers to the words and behaviors of one party in intimate relationship, which stimulates the other party's completely different words and behaviors and forms a kind of complementarity.

For example, some couples, every time a boy sees his girlfriend angry, he will stop talking and then coax her immediately, or when his girlfriend is unhappy and doesn't talk, his boyfriend will take the initiative to approach her, share happy things with her and tell her jokes.

4. Wrong argument: invalid complementarity.

When two people get along, there will be invalid complementarity, which will interrupt the communication between two people.

For example, two people have some differences outside. When my girlfriend came home, she said to her boyfriend, "What did you think just now?" Boyfriend chose silence. The girlfriend looked silent and angry, and then asked, "Why don't you tell me what you think?" Boyfriend keeps silent.

Whether complementarity is effective or not is based on a tacit cooperation between two people, knowing what they will do next, how the other party will react, whether it can ease the relationship and help communication.

This requires us to think more about what we can get along with in life to help us complement each other effectively.

5. Suggested exercise content:

1. Think back to the days when two people lived together. What words and behaviors inspire the other half's positive words and behaviors, and tell yourself to stick to it. You can also find out the negative symmetric behavior and discuss how to improve it.

2. Think back to the place where two people get along, complement each other effectively, make them get along more happily, and tell yourself to stick to it. At the same time, we can also think about whether there are some ineffective complementarities. If so, you can tell the other party and put forward the behavioral appeal of negotiation and improvement.