Classic jokes laugh at you.

When the axe came to the forest, many trees said: At least its handle is our own. The following is a classic joke prepared by the joke column. Let's laugh together!

Classic jokes laugh at you (1) 1, mom, I'm home. ?

? How was the exam?

? Got 53 points. ?

? Even less than 60 points, still fail? Mother threatened to hit her son.

The son quickly dodged: Why not ask what the perfect score is?

? What's the perfect score?

? 150?

My nephew likes listening to my stories and insists on sleeping with me at night. I saw him wearing dirty pants, so I said, go, let your mother take off her pants and come to bed. ?

The little nephew paused and ran over to say to his sister-in-law. Mom, uncle asked you to take off your pants and sleep with him. ?

3. I asked my son: Baby, where did Dad take you to play today?

Xiong Haizi replied:? No, my aunt won't let me talk. ?

Take my son to the park and play by the lake. My son has to go boating.

Me: Dad dare not play. If you fall into the water, you will have no father. . .

Son: Nothing. If you fall into the water, I will help you fish it out and put it in the fish tank.

Me. . .

My wife has the final say in the family's financial power, and the pocket money she gives me every month is pitiful. My daughter, as my intimate little cotton-padded jacket, will keep the pocket money my wife gave me at the end of the month and give it to me without hesitation!

Until one day, my wife searched all the money I had saved for several years.

I saw the girl say happily:? Mom! I've been undercover for so long. How much are you going to give me?

The classic joke laughs at you (2) 1, and the phone rings. When I saw it was an old classmate, I answered it immediately.

On the other end of the phone:? Hey, old classmate, we have an engineering project here and we can't do it. Have you thought about it?

I was very excited at once: what project, can I collect money?

On the other end of the phone:? Good collection and on-site settlement. ?

I am ecstatic: what project? I'll talk to you right away. ?

On the other end of the phone:? The base on the Great Wall is short of one. ?

My colleague caught a cold and had a sore throat.

Everyone worked silently in front of the computer all morning, and the office was very quiet.

Who knows, he suddenly said, Oh, it's really hard today. I think my prostate is swollen.

Everyone was sweating, and they all stopped to look at him. Two seconds later, he said, Oh, no, goiter. ?

I came home yesterday and found the lock burned to death by toothpaste. Who have I offended?

It took a lot of effort to dig out the toothpaste. I was scared all night and didn't dare to sleep. The next day, I found that the door was written with an oily pen: Sorry, I posted the wrong door?

4. Two male colleagues are chatting together. Colleague A: I'm getting married.

Colleague B: Really? Congratulations! Actually, I'm getting married, too.

Colleague A: Really? Then let's ask the manager for leave together.

Colleague b: ok!

Colleague AB: Manager! We're getting married.

Director: Oh ... Um ...! ?

Classic jokes laugh at you (3) 1. A cartoonist wanted to promote abstinence, so he drew a cartoon of a skeleton drinking on his back.

One day, he went shopping and saw his cartoons posted on the bulletin board.

He wanted to see the effect, so he asked people around him what the painting meant.

The man immediately replied:? Drink to death. ?

Another person said:? No, drink the wine even if you are dead. ?

Another person said:? No, I want to be an alcoholic, even if I die. ?

The fourth man said:? You are all wrong. This is an advertisement for wine, which means: good wine is worth drinking to death. ?

2. Beggars in Nanjing Metro earn over 10,000 yuan a month and own two suites. On-site inspection of his belongings found that he had Hong Kong and Macao passes, passports and high-end mobile phones.

The reporter didn't understand, and asked: You are well-off, how can you still do this job?

An honest answer from a beggar:? We rich people just want to have fun! ?

3. A few decades ago, an old woman showed off to me: My three sons are all promising. The boss is in the materials bureau, and the furniture at home is often added, and the wood used for construction is inexhaustible. The second child is in the transportation bureau, so it is convenient to pull things, and it doesn't cost money to go out by car. The third is in the industrial and commercial bureau. It's our turn to deal with the goods first and buy things that are in short supply. ?

I laughed after listening to it. The only fly in the ointment is that. Without a son as a judge, if they break the law, how difficult it is to plead! ?

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