Accompany your child out of anxiety (3) How difficult is it to accept the fact that your child is sick?

I believe that many parents may have children who can't go to school, and they are still in the first stage, and they are extremely angry. Children who have worked hard to train can sleep at home all day, sleep and eat, wake up and play games, and they can't say no, you are angry, and he is more angry than you. Good boy. What's wrong? How many sleepless nights I cried and asked loudly in my heart.

Anger, injustice and unspeakable pain have made many mothers cry that life is worse than death.

Finally, I found that the child had problems, anxiety and depression. I don't believe it, I don't understand it, and I'm unwilling. At this time, it seems that mom and dad are ten thousand times more miserable than sick children. Think about it, if our loved ones are sick in hospital and need our care, but we are more painful and vulnerable than the patients, how can we have the strength to take care of the patients! Therefore, in order to be effective, we must accept the fact that the child is sick. If he can't get up, he can't get up, he can't learn without studying, and he can't get out without going out. Everything is caused by illness. Even if it looks much better to spend a rest with him, or it is completely better in our eyes, as long as it involves going to school, he can't close the door at once. In our opinion, he sometimes feels depressed. In fact, he is afraid of studying and going to school. This is not laziness, not lack of progress, but illness. It was emotional disorder that prevented him from picking up books and walking into the school gate. As for the reasons, all children's problems are related to their parents and families, without exception. This is the question I will talk about next time.

Acceptance, I understand that acceptance is acceptance and tolerance, accepting the fact that the child is sick, and tolerating his illness and his reaction due to illness. Acceptance doesn't mean thinking that the child may be like this in his life. If there is no hope, he will completely ignore it. That is giving up and that is not accepting.

I remember my son hasn't dropped out of school yet, but he has been resting at home for more than 20 days, talking and laughing. His father and I just want him to go to school. He looked down and said, what's wrong with eating and drinking? I must go to school tomorrow and pretend to be studying! The child never said a word again. The next day, I sent him to school. Actually, I forced him to go to school, and so did he when he fell on the road. When he was forced to go to school again, it was an afternoon when he fell asleep on the floor at home. It can be said that all previous efforts were in vain. Looking at the child's painful appearance, I thought to myself, I will never go to school again. Even if I take my child to set up a food stall, I will be self-reliant for a lifetime. But as soon as the child is well, the school year comes out again. Just like a child's illness, going to school has become my illness. Again, it is a long process to return to being able to eat and drink.

All repairs take time. We are often anxious about exams such as the senior high school entrance examination and the college entrance examination. In short, we are anxious, but it is not only useless, but also makes the children feel worse and makes the repair process longer.

Parents are anxious about whether to go on like this. He does nothing but eat, drink, sleep and play games. Isn't this a waste? We spend so much effort to care for him, not to abolish him. It takes time. This is not a tumor. Just cut it off for a few days. It is an invisible emotion that controls him. Need more effort and wisdom, more love and time to repair. I remember the old doctor said you don't have to worry. The child has no organic lesions, so it is good to recuperate. What should you do if it is really incurable? After listening to this, I feel really comforted, because children can be good, hold this belief, tolerate their symptoms, allow them to exist, make room for them, come when they come, leave when they leave, and just gently allow those things to come and go freely, even if they are demons. Facts have proved that he can't cure the child. You are not afraid, the child is not afraid, we are not afraid, and it will not come. If you are not afraid of it, you won't panic when it comes. Do what you have to do, care about the child, but don't emphasize the symptoms, keep warm, don't ask the symptoms, and sometimes turn a blind eye when you see him uncomfortable. You are strong, the children are strong, and the children are strong, so you really won't come. Because it is triggered by emotions, a calm and stable heart is a weapon to subdue it. Stay with your child calmly and steadily, and do "useless" things with him. You will find that unconsciously, your children can communicate with you, love to go out and exercise, and rarely lose their temper. Remember, at this time, no study, no school. Not forever, but not now.

Mom and dad, calm down. Don't use your anxiety and impatience to trigger a child's bad mood. Don't break down easily, life is worse than death. You are dealing with a broken child. Use your calm, steady and positive to influence him, and use your mature wisdom to drive him out of that gray and dark situation. Only you can, because you are both a father and a mother.