How to help children accept themselves

In life, we like things that pursue beauty. When buying clothes, I will look around and like to pick what I like; In the kitchen, I cook a delicious table for my family, which is a home-cooked dish. I do it with my heart, because I like to see the happiness enjoyed by my family. This is probably the pursuit of perfection. Adults are like this, and children are no exception.

When Bauer was two years old, he liked to build blocks. Most of the structures are simple bases, but sometimes I get excited when I am satisfied with my work. Often say: "Mom, am I good?" ,。 Seeing the child's interest and sense of accomplishment, I will give timely feedback: "Baby, you are really not rough. I think you are going to be a little architect! " ".Bauer got my affirmation and praise, and she was even more excited. The little face is filled with happy satisfaction.

At this point in the story, readers may feel that this is very good, and children's interest in building blocks has been supported. Here's the thing. Children gradually like building blocks more. However, the process of children's growth is not smooth sailing. Bauer likes to build building blocks and is often immersed in his own works. Sometimes, he accidentally knocked off a few pieces and the model was destroyed, but it was hard for him to accept. Crying little face and saying, "Mom, my work is broken!" " ".Bauer likes perfect works. Whenever the completed building blocks are damaged by themselves or others, they are very dissatisfied, and sometimes even lose their temper and get emotional. At first, in order to stabilize Bauer's mood, I will try to start over with him. However, I gradually realized that only secondary construction can not solve the fundamental problem. Bauer is a little too perfectionist.

Pursuing perfection can improve the concentration of work, strengthen the degree of effort, and often get more satisfactory results. However, sometimes there will be negative effects, such as Bauer, which will affect the mood. How can I guide Bauer to accept "imperfection" slowly?

When Bauer was five years old, he fell in love with magnetic movies. Small trains are usually made of magnetic disks. One day, the little train I worked so hard to build was accidentally damaged by my brother, which once again aroused Bauer's emotions and anger. Fighting with my brother. As usual, I accompanied Bauer back to the appearance of a small train.

As she was building it, she said, "Mom knows that Bauer likes to build a small train and see a complete and perfect model, but she doesn't want to see it destroyed, does she?"

Bauer muttered and said unhappily, "Mom, yes!" " "

"It doesn't matter, we can rebuild?"

"That's different from the original, not good-looking!"

"Two treasures, you know? Sometimes it's beautiful even if it's not perfect! There is a statue with only one arm. She is Venus, the goddess, and has become a world-famous statue. People call it incomplete beauty. In fact, as long as you work hard, even if there are imperfections, it is still a good work. Broken building blocks, we can start again, every time it is different, it is a good work! "

I see. Bauer is still focused on making his own small train. I don't know if I can understand and accept what I said.

A few days ago, Bauer was happily playing with the built train, and his brother broke the model again. My heart thumped, Bauer was going to be angered by his brother again, and the war between the two brothers was going to break out again. When I was thinking about how to "put out the fire", Bauer said quietly, "It doesn't matter, it's broken. I'll just take it again! " .

Bauer gave me another surprise. As it turns out, Bauer has gradually learned to accept imperfections. I am very happy to see Bauer's development. In order to better strengthen Bauer's changes, he said excitedly, "Bauer, learn to accept imperfections." Very good! Mom gives you a compliment! "

After being praised, Bauer continued to focus on making small trains.

In the process of children's growth, cognition changes slowly. Learn to accept changes in the environment, that is, accept yourself. Even adults, acceptance is not perfect, and it is difficult to accept themselves. From the professional point of view, individuals have uniqueness, advantages and areas that they are not good at. Many times, it is easy to be trapped in your own shortcomings and see your own imperfections. When we rationally recognize ourselves, we can accept the "short board". When children grow up and learn to accept themselves, they can go further and smoothly.

Today, I talked to Bauer again about "accepting the fact that the toy was damaged". I said, "When Bauer's toy train was damaged, he stopped crying. Can you tell me why? "

"Because I can already spell a small train!"

It turns out that Bauer's growth stems from "learning". When you learn a skill, your self-confidence is improved. Self-confidence born from the inside can help children change their cognition, gradually accept imperfections and accept themselves. At first, Bauer lost his temper when he saw the toy model destroyed. Simply put, I can't accept perfection. In fact, my efforts have been ruined, and I am worried that I can't create the same "perfect" work. With the growth of Bauer's abuse, I have mastered the construction skills and have the ability to build "perfect works" that I like. Inner self-confidence helps children accept "destroyed toys"

When Bauer is two years old, when he builds his own building blocks, if he can't satisfy himself, he will become emotional. At that time, I was worried that excessive "pursuit of perfection" would affect children's personality development. Now it seems that proper guidance from parents can help children grow up better.

This change of Bauer left a deep impression on me. Recording today's growth story is to sort out the past and help you better understand Bauer's growth process. There are still many questions in the recording process, and I look forward to the valuable opinions of teachers and wise parents. thank you