Are there any jokes about stock trading, please ask God for help?

1, I met a friend yesterday and chatted. I said, "The stock market has plummeted recently. Can't sleep well at night. What about you? How did you sleep? " He said, "Not bad, sleeping like a baby!" " I said, "I envy you to death." He said, "Sleep for an hour, wake up, cry for a while, sleep for another hour, and cry for a while after waking up." 2. A gecko got lost in front of the securities company. At this moment, it happened that a big crocodile crawled from a distance. In desperation, the little gecko hugged the crocodile's leg and shouted at his mother. The crocodile cried and said, "Little boy, you just lost weight in the stock market for half a month. 3.08 stock trading: don't enter the stock market in the near future, otherwise BMW will go in and the bicycle will come out. " Three points in the suit and three points out; The boss goes in and the wage earners come out; The doctor went in and the dementia came out; Yao Ming went in and Pan Changjiang came out; Crocodiles go in and geckos come out; Pythons go in and earthworms come out; Tigers go in and kittens come out; Lead the dog in and be led out by the dog; Men go in and eunuchs come out; Girls go in and old women come out; Wang Shi went in and the tortoise came out; Beijing goes in and Wenchuan comes out; Stand when you go in and lie down when you come out; Good women go in and prostitutes come out; The Brazilian football team went in and the China football team came out; Huang Shiren went in and Yang Bailao came out; Guan Xi went in and the photos came out; Liu Xiang went in. Fan ran out; In short, even if the earth goes in, table tennis will come out. 4, optimistic about not buying has been rising, chasing up and buying into a bear! Angry but sold in a few days; It went up immediately after it was sold out! Choose one of the two, you must have chosen the wrong one. If you buy it, it will fall, but if you don't buy it, it will rise! If you choose the wrong one, correct it, exchange shares, and then change the wrong one! Make up your mind not to engage in short-term, long-term shareholding, then long-term non-rise! I couldn't make it, but I threw a long line and the daily limit was the next day! Go to the short line again and be quilted immediately! It must be wrong to sum up historical experience and apply it to the next time! Back to the previous investment style, lost! ! What you recommend to others will go up, and what you have will go down! Swear to untie the condom and never buy it! I bought Bank of China again, and I was trapped. The prisoner was shot. The first shot didn't go off because of the poor quality of the bullet, and then the second shot was fired. . . The third shot. . . At this time, the prisoner cried and hugged the bailiff's thigh and said, eldest brother, you strangled me! It's fucking horrible. It fell off. Because of the poor skills of traders, they did not fall in the first round and fell in the second round. . . Third round. . . At this time, the retail investor cried, holding the thigh of the chairman of the CSRC and saying, "Eldest brother, you confiscated my money! It's fucking horrible. Why can't the poems of retail investors cry? The stock fell like a waterfall. My account is unbearable now. Five zeros became four digits. When I first entered the stock market, I thought I would get rich overnight. I fantasize about buying a car tomorrow and living in a villa the day after tomorrow without going to work. I can marry a beautiful wife. Who would have thought it would be more cruel here than hell? Chasing up today, falling tomorrow, always buying all positions. Finally, I cut the meat, only the skin and bones. I stand guard at the top of the water with loneliness, and I eagerly hope that the People's Liberation Army can come and save me. To tell the truth, I am a good man, honest and upright. I never listen to the party. I responded to the call of the country and insisted on having fewer children and planting more trees. But why does God punish retail investors like me and ask the main institutions to have mercy on me? 7. The restaurant owner posted a job advertisement, and three people came to apply ... The boss asked the first one, "What's your specialty? "I am a trader." "How is the craft?" "Nothing, just can fry the stock price from 5 yuan to 50 yuan. Great, I need a chef, and that's you. The second person handed in his resume, and the boss flipped through it and said, "Oh, it's a stock review. Tell you the truth, your job is to stand at the door every day and give me a hand when you meet someone. Is it not difficult for you? He turned to the third man and asked, "What do you do?" "The man blushed and said nothing. The second man quickly said, "I brought him here. He was born in retail. Just arrange a job of washing dishes and sweeping the floor. "The boss is a little embarrassed:" I am very advanced here. What do I want retail investors to do? "Just then, I heard a noise in the hall. The boss quickly called the waiter and asked her what was going on. The waiter replied: "The buyer forgot to buy meat today, and the food ordered by the guest was delayed and he was losing his temper." The boss suddenly panicked. At this time, the retail investor next to him suddenly pulled out a sharp knife, straightened his trouser legs, cut off a large piece of meat with a knife and threw it bloody to the waiter: "Take it first to save the emergency. He turned to his boss and said, "I have no other skills." Cutting meat is often done. Do you believe me? " "