Mother-in-law psychology after the cold war (mother-in-law often has these three manifestations)

Text | Mother's Way (senior mother-infant care practitioner, original is not easy, please don't copy)

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is always the most complicated and prone to contradictions in a family. The relationship between husband and wife depends on feelings, the relationship between mother and child depends on blood, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is more subtle.

The pictures in this article are all from the internet, and the pictures have nothing to do with them.

They were met by the same person and got together. In the traditional concept, they need to share family affairs and take care of children in the future, which can be said to be a complex social relationship.

Therefore, whether the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can live in harmony has a lot to do with the way they treat people. Many times, the daughter-in-law has just got married and is still respectful and filial to her mother-in-law.

If you don't get along well from the beginning, it is likely that your mother-in-law deliberately finds fault. Therefore, if the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have these three performances, it is difficult for them to get along well.

? My mother-in-law wants to control the family.

When the mother-in-law is strong and controlling, she often likes to control all the life of her son, including the life of her daughter-in-law.

As a result, there is always a daughter-in-law complaining that her powerful mother-in-law interferes with her work and life, and she also likes to have children, even the lives of her grandchildren.

Moreover, sons raised by strong mothers are generally weak. If a son does what his mother says, his wife is required to do the same.

No matter how the daughter-in-law handles it, the family is in a mess: a weak daughter-in-law may be depressed and uncomfortable in her heart; If you have a strong personality, you will quarrel with your mother-in-law

? Mother-in-law prefers boys to girls.

The mother-in-law who prefers sons to daughters regards "continuing the incense of her husband's family" as her mission and "having a boy" as a bargaining chip for her family status.

So such a mother-in-law will also force her daughter-in-law to have a son. If the first child is a boy, it may be peaceful, but if the first child is a daughter, the mother-in-law will have children and sow discord.

Moreover, such an old-fashioned mother-in-law likes to instill her traditional ideas into her daughter-in-law. When taking care of her grandchildren, she also likes to be opinionated in the way of the older generation.

Daughter-in-law with independent personality, new ideas and belief in science will find it difficult to get along with her mother-in-law.

? I like to do one thing to my face and one thing behind my back to provoke the relationship between husband and wife.

There are also some mother-in-law who tie their lives with their sons and have a strong possessive desire for him, so they don't want their daughter-in-law to have a better relationship with their sons.

So I like to create some contradictions artificially, let my son and daughter-in-law quarrel, and like to see my son face himself.

If the son is a mother-in-law, or is particularly easily annoyed by his mother, there may often be quarrels between husband and wife at home, and the whole family will become disharmony.

Psychologist bert hellinger once said that if the relationship between family members is misplaced, the family is likely to go to tragedy.

Mother-in-law can't see her position clearly, and likes to intervene in the life of a small family, which easily leads to family tragedy. In addition to quarreling and separation between husband and wife, it may also have an impact on children's education.

? It is not conducive to parents to establish prestige in front of their children.

Sometimes parents will do many things to restrict their children's health and study, such as not eating snacks and watching TV.

If the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are not in harmony, they are likely to secretly spoil and indulge their children.

At this time, parents' education may not only fall short, but also break the parent-child relationship.

? Children are prone to lack of love, inferiority and cowardice.

If the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not harmonious, children will be raised by their parents-in-law, and there will be few opportunities to see their parents. Then the child may have been instilled with negative information about his mother by his grandparents.

After a long time, such children are afraid to get close to their mothers when they are eager for maternal love, and are often regarded as grandma's tools, which easily leads to lack of love and inferiority.

? There may be something wrong with the child's expression.

If mother-in-law and daughter-in-law don't live together, they will be divided into camps, and children, as newcomers to the family, will become the object of their wooing, but the common way to woo parents is to slander others.

In this way, children may often live in an environment where family members complain, resent and blame each other, and they may offend many people if they don't know how to communicate correctly.

How to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law It's best not to live together.

If two people's personalities are very inappropriate, then don't live together. If the distance is far away, maybe there will be less mutual complaints.

Psychology shows that moderate spatial distance can produce the most psychological attraction effect.

? Let her husband stand by his side.

Problems in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are often due to the husband's inability to balance the relationship between them. If the woman can't convince him with words, it's better to find a way to let the other person see the truth.

Don't quarrel over trifles, lest you ruin our relationship.

? Use less negative language to communicate.

Even for a family, communication skills are equally important. If you use less negative language, there may be fewer contradictions between the two, and it may also prevent children from "being close to ink."