How to make rules for children?

Chatting with a colleague today. She said that her son was in the third grade. Every day when he comes back from school, his clothes are everywhere and his toys are everywhere. The first thing he will do when he gets home is to watch TV. Sometimes I can't finish my homework until 11: 12 in the evening because I watch it for a long time, and it is difficult to get up the next day. This situation gives her a headache. Although at her urging, her son can reluctantly pack up his things and turn off the TV, but this behavior seems to have become a habit. Although she is anxious, she is helpless.

If you don't make proper rules for your children, they will feel insecure inside. In the process of children's growth, if they can get what they want and are not bound by rules and disciplines, then children are likely to have serious behavior problems. How to make rules for children can follow the following methods.

1, we can make rules with our children. Some parents think that children are still young, making rules is a matter for parents, and children don't need to participate; As long as parents directly tell their children the rules and let them abide by them. In fact, children are the main body of activities. If children's wishes are not respected and children's feelings are not considered, rules may evolve into a mandatory order and even become a means to suppress children's reasonable demands and wishes.

Even for younger children, parents should be equal and respectful. Don't order children not to do this or that just because they are young. In fact, children can feel respect and love from their parents' attitude. If parents are used to teaching their children in an authoritative way, children may be hostile, even challenge their parents' authority and deliberately break the rules.

On the issue of watching TV, I made an agreement with my children, such as watching TV for half an hour every day, or just watching TV on weekends. No matter what the final rules are, the key is that children participate in the formulation of the rules and feel that they are respected before they are willing to implement the rules.

2. To fully consider the age characteristics of children, the rules must be within the acceptable range of children. When making rules, parents must consider their children's age and development characteristics. It is best not to make unrealistic rules for children in advance, which will make them anxious and miserable. If many rules are imposed on children before they understand them, it will be difficult to enforce them. Children's understanding of rules is "on the spot", that is, they will only consider them when they realize the necessity of rules.

When making rules, we should consider whether the rules are rigid or harsh. From the beginning, I made it a rule for my children that they should not talk while eating, that they must go to bed before what time in the evening, and that they should play with other children after finishing their homework. We can see that some rules (such as eating without talking) are difficult for adults to obey, let alone children. So these rules I made are incorrect, and it is very difficult to implement them, and it is also difficult for children to abide by them.

It is very important for parents to set an example and obey the rules. Parents are the best teachers for children. Children who have no rules and regulations often learn from their parents. * * * After making the rules, parents should set an example. Some parents stipulate that children are not allowed to watch TV after school, but when children do their homework, they sit in the living room and watch TV. Some parents ask their children to sit up straight when reading, but the children are lying in bed reading. Therefore, when educating children, I also constantly reflect, constantly correct, set an example and be a good example for children.

Summary: A child with a sense of rules is more likely to integrate into the collective environment, more willing to cooperate with others, and can better adapt to society in the future.

However, it is impossible to cultivate children's awareness of rules overnight. Parents need to negotiate with their children and make appropriate rules according to their age and development characteristics. Parents should set an example, abide by the rules, implement the rules, and don't break the rules easily to please their children. When children break the rules, they should be made to bear the natural or logical consequences, not punished.