Contact the reality of life and talk about how to deal with the contradictions you encounter.

College students' needs for interpersonal communication are determined from the moment they enter school. Interpersonal communication is an important part of college life, but it is not an easy thing. So how to establish harmonious interpersonal relationships in our real life? The establishment of college students' interpersonal relationship is a long-term process, which cannot be achieved overnight, and it needs our own long-term efforts. To establish a good interpersonal relationship, we must master the following communication principles: (1) Have a clear understanding of interpersonal communication.

As the main body of college students' interpersonal communication, college students themselves should clearly realize the following points in the process of interpersonal communication: 1. Communication is a two-way street. Without communication, there is no understanding. Only by opening yourself can we approach others more effectively.

2. Communication is equal. Only by respecting others can others respect themselves. When dealing with people, we should put both sides on an equal footing, that is, we should not feel inferior, conceited, arrogant and superior. We should have confidence in ourselves and be sincere, equal and mutually beneficial in dealing with others, so that we can have a good and lasting relationship.

3. Communication is selective. The two-way nature of communication determines the interactivity and selectivity of communication. Not everyone is right for you. You should choose someone who can have a * * * sound with you as your communication partner. Don't blindly ask for the number. We must pay attention to whether the object of communication can really last for a long time, and wishful thinking will cause both sides.

4. Don't expect too much from communication. Don't expect everyone to be your confidant. It is enough to have a bosom friend in life. In hierarchical communication, we must avoid the psychological loss caused by too much emotional input and too little return.

5. Trust each other in the process of communication. Emerson, an American philosopher and poet, once said: Only when you trust others will others pay attention to you. Treat people with courtesy, and people will be polite. Understand other people's motives and words and deeds from a positive perspective, don't speculate, and don't occupy other people's stomachs with your own heart. Otherwise, communication will not last. (2) Grasping the principle of successful communication In the process of interpersonal communication, in addition to having a clear understanding of interpersonal communication, we must also master some reasonable communication methods.

Forward-looking principle:

1, be modest and prudent, and straighten your position.

The key is to correctly understand and evaluate one's past, regard past experience as the cornerstone of future life development, take college life as a new starting point, treat people and things around calmly, strive to maintain a peaceful and rational attitude, be humble to others, and strive for a better life. 2. Treat each other as equals and get along with each other sincerely.

The personality characteristics of college students determine that the basis of their interpersonal communication can only be personality equality and honesty. Therefore, in the face of study, life and work, especially difficulties, help each other. "Being kind and great is nothing more than sincerity." "When people get to know each other, you will know each other's hearts." Enthusiastic praise and sincere criticism can make the other person willing to understand, trust, talk and talk. 3. Open the heart window and take the initiative to open it.

Everyone's hidden inner world is a mystery that others hope to discover. Generally speaking, only by sincerely opening your heart can you enter the inner world of others. When you make a friendly gesture of supporting or accepting others, he will feel a kind of pressure in his heart. In order to keep his psychological balance, he will repay your friendly behavior. Good at talking with people, having fun together, being able to reasonably allocate time to communicate with people and participate in group activities. Often achieve ideological communication, emotional harmony and interpersonal stability. 4. Psychological communication and compatibility

Spiritual communication between two people is very important in interpersonal communication. On the one hand, people can't understand others well because of various reasons in life. But when you stand in the position of others, you will understand what others say and do, gain a lot of understanding that you have never had before, and you will feel that the psychological distance is shortened. On the other hand, everyone has the right to keep his own opinions and live according to his own wishes. They can only influence others with their own thoughts, but they can't force others to change. If we always respect and understand others' choices, but don't expect too much from others, we can reduce misunderstandings. Try to be open-minded, understand each other and achieve psychological compatibility. 5. Cooperation and mutual assistance, friendly competition.

College students are not an isolated individual. People who stand out from the crowd are often regarded as "monsters". The environment in which college students live makes the cooperation between them inevitable. You should try to put down your movements when others are taking a nap; Wear earplugs when listening to songs by yourself; Friends and relatives from the same dormitory visited and received them warmly. Don't do small things with kindness. When you put yourself in others' shoes, the opportunity for cooperation comes. In the competition with others, college students should advocate "fairness, justice, openness, both competition and sincere help, both competition and mutual cooperation." (3) Master the art of interpersonal communication 1, language art.

"Good words are warm in three winters, and bad words hurt people in June." These two sentences tell us that we should pay attention to the art of using language when communicating. Making good use of language art can optimize interpersonal communication. On the contrary, if we don't pay attention to language art, we will often hurt people unintentionally and produce contradictions. Attention should be paid to proper address and politeness in interpersonal communication, and good language art must be timely. Moderate, moderate. 2. Non-verbal arts

Non-language generally includes eyes, gestures, facial expressions, posture, position, distance, body language and so on. It is very important for college students to master and make good use of this communication art. "Eyes are the windows of the soul", "Eyes can speak like mouths", and facial expressions are the external expression of inner emotions, both of which can express people's attitudes and emotions. If you are happy, you will be angry. In communication, human body movements can also be used to express ideas. In interpersonal communication, college students can correctly and skillfully use nonverbal art to express their thoughts and feelings according to the content and occasion of the conversation, and sometimes it can play the role of "silence is better than sound". 3. Learn to listen effectively

Interpersonal scholars believe that "listening" is an effective magic weapon to maintain interpersonal relationships. Almost everyone likes people who listen to him. Listening skills have become an important way to improve interpersonal communication. Therefore, college students should learn to listen effectively. When communicating with people,

As a listener, you should talk less and listen more, don't interrupt each other's conversation, and it's best not to interrupt until others have finished speaking. Try to show your interest in listening. When listening to others, look at their faces and avoid small gestures, lest they think you are impatient. Try to put yourself in the other person's shoes and show concern, understanding and sympathy for the other person; Don't argue or comment with each other easily. (D) enhance their interpersonal charm

Interpersonal charm refers to the tendency of individuals to give others positive comments in the process of interpersonal communication. Everyone has people he likes and is willing to associate with them; Everyone has people he hates and doesn't want to associate with. This phenomenon actually reflects interpersonal attraction. So, how can college students enhance their interpersonal attraction and be popular?

1, and strive to establish a good first impression.

How to make a good first impression? Psychologist Carnegie summed up six ways to make a good first impression in his book How to Win Friends and How to Influence Others: treat others sincerely; Smile; Mention other people's names more; Be a patient listener and encourage others to talk about themselves; Talk about topics that meet other people's interests; Let others feel his importance in a sincere way. 2. Cultivate good personality characteristics.

Good personality traits can promote the establishment of good interpersonal relationships, while bad personality traits will hinder the establishment of good interpersonal relationships. In life, everyone wants to associate with people with good character, and no one wants to deal with selfish, hypocritical, cunning, rude and narrow-minded people. Therefore, we should constantly form good personality characteristics and pay attention to overcoming weaknesses and defects in personality.

3, strengthen communication, close relationship psychological research shows that the closeness of people in space is an important factor to promote interpersonal attraction, because the closer people are in space, the higher the frequency of mutual communication, the more conducive to mutual understanding, emotional communication, close relationship: even if the interpersonal relationship between two people is tense, it is possible to gradually eliminate suspicion and misunderstanding through frequent communication; On the other hand, even if two people have a good relationship, if they don't communicate for a long time or rarely communicate, resulting in a decrease in mutual understanding, their relationship may gradually weaken. The life circle of college students can be said to be a school to a great extent. The narrow scope promotes the close contact between college students, which is a favorable objective condition for establishing good interpersonal relationship between college students. College students should make full use of this superior condition and maintain a moderate frequency of contact with friends, so that interpersonal relationships will not fade or even disappear, and they will try not to be isolated when they encounter difficulties.

My friends, if you can work hard in these directions, you will find that everything is changing quietly: the unhappiness between friends has disappeared, and more and more intimate friends can speak freely; Affection between relatives and friends; You will live a full and happy life and feel that interpersonal communication is a natural and relaxed thing, so you are full of optimism about your study life and confidence in shaping a perfect college life and future life.

College students are in a period of psychological development eager for communication and understanding. Good interpersonal relationship is an inevitable requirement for their normal psychological development, healthy personality and sense of security, belonging and happiness. In fact, the master of everyone's life is himself. The key is that you should make changes, have a strong desire for success, treat interpersonal communication with a positive attitude and behavior in view of the problems existing in your interpersonal communication, and find appropriate ways to cultivate your interpersonal communication ability, gradually learn to communicate and establish harmonious interpersonal relationships in combination with your personality characteristics.