Letter to my daughter in graduation season

How time flies! Your four-year college life is coming to an end. Four years ago, the scene of accompanying reading seemed to be still in sight. At that time, my mother often went downstairs to the vegetable market to buy food, three meals a day, oil, salt, sauce and vinegar, and tried her best to cook different dishes for you. Although the pattern is not very good, time is precious.

Mom is proud of you.

Growing up. When you first entered primary school, you told us, don't worry, I can do it. Your little face says firmness and fortitude.

When I was in high school, something happened at home, which made me see your emotional management ability and firm willpower, as well as your thinking mode, which made my mother feel at ease. You are a person who can achieve great things. You can be successful and happy.

When I was in college, my mother saw your wonderful performance in various school activities, your high morale as a volunteer for the Beijing Winter Olympics, your leadership style in leading social practice activities and your various honorary certificates.

Mom is proud of you.

Now that you have graduated from university, you have obtained two degree certificates and been admitted to the Chinese University of Hong Kong as a graduate student.

Mom is proud of you.

Hong Kong is a place closer to the outside world, where various cultures meet and collide, with a strong academic atmosphere. I believe you will gain more in your study, and I wish you a bigger stage in your life.

I like you and am proud of you.

It is remarkable that you have grown steadily and rapidly in time.

You're on your way.

Dad, thank you for giving me the opportunity to write to you. I feel very honored. You are a girl, and so is your mother. From this perspective, it seems that your mother can have more to say to you.

In this letter, mom will present it to you in several parts.

First, talk about career planning.

Career is the foundation of survival, and economic independence is very important. At the same time, career is also writing our life, and to some extent, it is understanding the meaning of life.

Mom can't give you a specific plan, and she won't give it to you. But at this special moment, I just want to ask you one question: what kind of person do you want to be? This problem is a bit big, which seems to have little to do with career, but I think if we can think about it carefully, the career will have a direction. People's lives are so precious that my mother thinks it would be great if the career could be well combined with hobbies, abilities and values.

Middle-aged mothers sometimes ask themselves this question. When I was a child, my mother's awareness of this aspect was very weak, which was a little regrettable. Now, as the first content of this letter, my mother throws this question at you, hoping to arouse your thinking and help you plan your career.

Let me talk about the second content first.

Don't you know that you are in love? What do you think of this problem?

Because of my career, my mother knows that a person's thoughts will be influenced by his family background. At this point, it's a pity that mom and dad don't seem to give you a perfect family. I don't know how affected you are.

I'm a little nervous.

I'll take this opportunity to talk to you about this today.

First of all, love is beautiful. Throughout the ages, love is the object of praise, which brings people spiritual pleasure and satisfaction. It is a great blessing in life if you can have a lover with a heart. At the same time, love sometimes brings people pain and makes life worse than death. She's beautiful. She is both complicated and subtle.

But at the same time, we also need to understand that the concept of love is influenced by social culture, and marriage is also the product of social culture. With such an angle, we will not be limited by something, we can be inside or outside, and we have human autonomy on the basis of biology.

But in any case, spiritual satisfaction and happiness are still important aspects that people pursue. Here, my mother will discuss it with you from this angle.

So, how can we get the satisfaction of mental health and real happiness? I believe you will have your own ideas in this regard. Mom loves you and hopes you can be happy.

Mom's occupation tells her that emotional processing is a kind of learning ability. Most people follow their feelings to deal with emotional problems, which is also the reason why many people have emotional problems. What my mother said here today is very simple, so I can't say too much. I'll tell you something theoretical, and I hope you can have this awareness.

A good relationship requires us to open our hearts, and at the same time, we need some independent consciousness, so as not to lose our sobriety. In a relationship, don't lose yourself for gain. It is very important to have a complete personality. Don't destroy the relationship at will to show your value. Only self-discipline and respect can accumulate happiness for your life.

Emotional processing is the core ability of personality and the background color of life. This part is usually very subtle and needs to be studied to see clearly. There is a poem that is particularly apt: "I don't know the true face of Lushan Mountain, but I am only in this mountain." That's what I'm talking about.

But it is also a part that can grow. Being a person with a sound personality, you are likely to meet someone with a sound personality. Even if you don't meet them, you still have the ability to identify and choose. For example, there is a famous PUA theory in psychology, which you seem to have heard! This is what narcissists are good at. This is not intentional bad, but it may be more harmful than intentional bad. If you want to build a stable, deep and sincere relationship, you need to open your heart and protect yourself.

Social culture is constantly changing. I believe that you can see what is behind the phenomenon in the turbulent culture and have the ability to identify and choose.

Mom believes that you are a modern woman with love, positive sunshine and wisdom. Love yourself, you can create value for yourself and others, you can establish harmonious interpersonal relationships with people around you, and you know how to advance and retreat and choose. I hope that you can continue to grow, you can pay or persist, you can end it at any time, and you can start again at any time.

I hope you can learn something from the above short words to arouse your consciousness and growth.

The career and emotion mentioned above are two important parts of life. They bring people a sense of meaning and satisfaction, but they also need to pay. It seems too early to talk about this now, but what mom wants to tell you is that this is an important part of life, which is related to your success and your happiness.

Mom wants to tell you that even if we are fully prepared, we can't avoid encountering difficulties and challenges. In other words, bumpy challenges are an important part of life, an important part of testing us and achieving us.

Life is not always smooth sailing. What kind of attitude should we take to face the difficulties and challenges in professional emotion? I think, on the way of growing up, you have learned courage, persistence and perseverance. Your performance and achievements are showing these. Mom is at ease in this respect, and these are icing on the cake.

What I want to say is that on the way forward, people still need some bottom lines. The bottom line is something you can't lose at any time, and it is the principle you adhere to. These bottom lines may include:

Respect yourself and others. Everyone is a unique individual and deserves to be respected.

Love yourself. Make sure that you are a valuable person at all times. No matter when, cherish yourself.

Take responsibility for yourself. If people can't take responsibility for themselves, freedom will degenerate into laissez-faire. A person should be able to face himself, others and the whole world.

In this place, my mother talks about bravery alone. Usually, going forward will be respected. But what mom wants to tell you is that it is also a kind of courage to stop and face it. Stopping or even looking back is sometimes a better way to move forward. Only in this way can we reflect, repair and accumulate energy, and then we can be more stable, efficient and textured when we set off.

The attitude of going forward bravely, the attitude towards the bottom line, the meaning of life and the way to deal with emotions are all in front of us. Mom wants you to do some homework when you are young and have a reflection and re-understanding of the above problems. In this way, you can see something clearly without going far.

All these require you to have a comprehensive and in-depth understanding of yourself.

The great thinker Socrates put "Know yourself!" As a declaration of their own philosophical principles. It's hard to know yourself, but it's important. This will increase your wisdom, foundation and ability to create a happy life.

You said you wanted to get to know your mother by keeping a diary. Mom is also interested. We became two independent people, walking side by side on the road of life. I also want to know each other, learn from each other and grow together.

In retrospect, my mother's life has gone through several stages. Let's not talk about the rest. When you were in high school, your mother had a new life. The past four years have been four years of rapid growth for you and four years of rapid growth for your mother.

I have read many books and read many other people's stories in recent years. These made me think and broadened my horizons. Written expression contains my professional thinking and also shows my life background.

Compared with food, clothing, housing and transportation, I think this is the most precious wealth a mother can give her children. Life gave me a paper. While I am answering questions, I am showing my children's ability to survive, choose and be happy.

My naivety was severely slapped by the test paper of life. This may be a special story, but I won't complain who assigned it to me. I'm still a little grateful. I didn't fall down in the play, but I grew up, although this is not the only way to grow up.

Life is a process. It is a miracle to experience, experience and practice with curiosity, and conscious people can create even greater miracles in this process. Although in the play, we can always jump out of the plot and look on coldly, which reflects people's autonomy.

It will be your 22nd birthday in more than a month. I remember 22 years ago, I was also a girl. Now that my daughter is so old and outstanding, I will be amazed from the heart. Life is so wonderful, so sacred, so magnificent. You and I have both grown up in the course of life. What a proud thing it is.

Finally, I have a little suggestion: if possible, you can take some time to read some humanities books. This can enhance self-awareness, promote self-growth, and make people's minds more open and lofty. These books sometimes seem useless, but they will enhance the texture of life and bring you closer to yourself. Mom loves you forever. Grow up with you, give you spiritual support, and give you material support when necessary. Come on!

mother

May 25(th), 2022