10 jokes

When I was a freshman, my classmate in the Communist Youth League branch was a very frugal little girl.

Every time she sends a text message, she will attach a joke or something.

We were puzzled and asked her why.

She said: "To fill 70 words, you can't move even if it's cheap!"

You, Wang Xiao, have never been keen on sports events.

A few days ago, I asked him excitedly, "Do you want to watch the opening ceremony together the night after tomorrow?"

He suddenly looked at me: "Whose grave is this?"

I walked into the bank and said to the cashier, "Please open a joint account for me, thank you."

"Ok, who are you driving with?"

"Who has more money, who will open it?"

Someone asked the master who runs an electrical appliance store to repair the TV.

The master said, "Who sold you such a bad TV?"

The repairman said, "You, you forgot, last year ..."

Master: "Oh, that's it. It is really durable. It can last for one year. "

An office worker is addicted to gambling and owes tens of thousands of usury.

The creditor caught him: "If you have no money, you have to chop your fingers! Chop off his index finger first! "

The office worker is frightened: "Please! Never cut off your index finger! I have to use it to punch in! "

The teacher attended class in the afternoon and saw that A's seat was empty. So he asked, "Does anyone know where classmate A is?"

B raised his hand and said, "Teacher, A twisted his foot. Let me ask for leave from you and run home by myself! " "

Teacher: "..."

Just going to the business hall to pay the phone bill, I heard the service lady say, "How much is it?"

I froze for a long time, but I didn't react. I thought English was very popular?

Then he replied, "50."

He also froze and repeated it.

I just realized what she just said: "What's the number?"

A friend of mine is called X Chao.

One day, he asked his mother, "Do you want me to be like a superman when I have super powers?"

His mother: "No, it's because of your super life!" " "

A man can't find a job because of his short stature.

One day, the man came home and said excitedly to his wife, "I found a job!" " "

The wife was overjoyed and asked, "Great, what job?"

The man said, "Sales! The boss said that when I stopped in the room, the house looked much bigger.

Get out of here.

My roommate made me angry at night, so I made him disappear in front of me.

He said, "If you can, let me disappear!"

So I decided to turn off the lights.

Watching the Olympic news, my mother said to me sadly, "Look at the people who won the championship after 80 s and 90 s, when will you give me an award to go home?"

I was shocked and roared, "Didn't I get it yesterday?" Here you are! Another bottle! "

My colleague received a cactus, and I asked him if it was from his wife.

He answered yes and explained that they had a big fight, and she might have sent an apology.

He asked me to read the words on the card to him.

When I saw it, it was written in big red letters: "Sit on it!" " "

In hot summer, the bus is sultry.

A young man jokingly said to the driver, "Master, if we don't turn on the air conditioner, we will soon become roast pigs."

The driver also replied humorously, "Then I must be the first one out of the oven."

During the summer vacation of their freshman year, the two brothers had nothing to do and decided to go to Hangzhou by bike from Shanghai together. Neither of them had any money.

After 14 and a half hours of trekking, they rode to Hangzhou Railway Station.

Exhausted and dying, they have already faded their original arrogance, just holding someone and asking, "How about a second-hand bicycle?" No, just change the train ticket back to Shanghai. "

While waiting for the bus at the bus stop, an old woman came over and looked at the stop sign with great difficulty.

I said in a friendly way, "Aunt, where are you going? Let me take a look at it for you. "

Grandma thanked me, took out an iPhone4S, skillfully unlocked it, skillfully entered the unlock password, skillfully opened the photo album, and showed me a photo of the place where she was going.

For a moment, I felt that I had a lot of free time. ...

My father is a mahjong fan. My son, who just went to elementary school, said to his father, "The teacher said playing mahjong is gambling and should be caught by the police."

Dad proudly said, "What are you afraid of? ! In case I am sentenced, you can send my father dinner! "

The son said sympathetically, "What if you are sentenced to death?"

On Xunyang Building, Sung River got drunk and wrote an anti-poem, which was tied up by state officials and sentenced to death.

Classical fidgeted after hearing this, but Wu Yong said unhurriedly, "Don't worry, brother. I have ordered all the heroes to rescue. If there is no accident, tomorrow will be a good time, and it will rain up the mountain in time. "

According to historical records, this is the earliest weather forecast in China.