Very naughty and interesting talk

1. Please remember one thing: You must eat breakfast! Of course, not because it’s unhealthy, but because it’s the cheapest meal of the day!

2. You have to remember that no matter how estranged we become in the end, a red envelope can bring us back to the beginning.

3. After the salary is paid, be arrogant for a week, make do with it for a week, save for a week, look forward to it for a week, and the month will be over!

4. I feel like I have fallen in love with my math teacher, because in front of the person I love, my IQ is basically zero.

5. Summarize my current situation in a few words: I am fat enough to concentrate on my work, but I am poor and have a peaceful mind!

6. When I was born, God asked me whether I wanted to have a good memory or be beautiful. I have forgotten how I answered at that time.

7. Every time I face delicious food, I tell myself: "If you eat too much, you will die." But it turns out that I am not afraid of death at all.

8. When you meet someone you like, pursue it bravely, so that you will know that there is far more than one person who will reject you.

9. Get a cup of milk tea and go through the security check. Security Inspector: What are you holding? Me: Milk tea. Security Inspector: Take a sip. Me: Get out! Go buy it yourself!

10. People who love to laugh will not have bad luck. To be honest, if a person is unlucky, I don't know how he can laugh.

11. The threshold for doing anything in this era has become so high. If you want to be a homebody, can you afford to buy a house?

12. A few days ago, a friend of the opposite sex asked me to borrow 100 yuan. After that, she called me often. Yesterday, she suddenly said that she liked me. I was so scared. Did she not want to pay me back?

13. I don’t want to be sentimental, I just want to have money and have you. Of course, if I have money, I can do without you.

14. Parents are really magical creatures. They will believe any rumors in their circle of friends, but they will expose the lies you make up at a glance.

15. A: Who is in charge in your family? B: I have the final say on big things, and my wife has the final say on small things. A: I really envy you. B: But nothing major has happened to our family since we got married.

16. Don’t be afraid, humble young man, we will eventually shine brightly, such as when we are cremated.

17. Other people’s faces are 70% determined by nature and 30% by dressing up. Your face is 10% determined by nature and 90% by filters.

18. There is a girl who weighs 200 pounds and has a mine at home! After dozens of blind dates, she was rejected every time. Her mother comforted her by saying, "Don't cry, my dear. If we continue to go on blind dates, we will always meet someone who is greedy for money."

19. The true meaning of good night is: don’t ink with me, I’m going to play by myself.