Tell me about not being a family member (you never treat me as a family member)

What is the most chilling thing that the other half does in marriage?

The most stinging reply is not cheating and domestic violence, nor cheating and indifference, but that you have been married for several years and you have never regarded me as family.

The conclusion of marriage is essentially the birth of a new family, and the members of this new family should be the closest and most important people in each other's world, because in the later life, they need to face the wind and rain together, bathe in the sunshine together and raise their children together in order to continue their lives.

Once upon a time, once married, husband and wife became one. Now, sometimes, people at the bedside are not as good as strangers.

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If you don't respect it, you will never talk about the flow of funds at home.

My friend told me that her parents were getting divorced recently, and I almost couldn't help laughing. When my grandson had them, divorce was a fashion.

My friend gave me a white look and said, "It's true, because my father lent money to relatives without telling my mother, and also borrowed 200 thousand."

Now that we have talked about "re", it is certainly not the first time. According to friends, they have been arguing about this problem for more than 30 years.

My friend said that when my brother-in-law got married, my father borrowed 10 thousand yuan. When my aunt bought a house, my father borrowed 50 thousand. My friend wanted to do business, and my father borrowed100000.

Now, my cousin wants to buy a house and get married, and my father borrowed a full 200 thousand without saying anything. If my mother hadn't bought her an apartment as an investment on a whim, she wouldn't have known that the family was inexplicably missing 200 thousand when she asked her father if she could take the money.

To this end, the two had a big fight. Dad also accused his mother of being cold-blooded, stingy and selfish. What happened when relatives and friends were in trouble?

After listening to this, I felt sorry for my friends and mother. She is not selfish or worried about money. She felt sorry that she had never been respected. What's more, after more than 30 years of marriage, her husband never regarded her as a member of the family.

No matter who is in charge of the financial power of the family, no matter who is the main economic pillar of the family, since they have become a family, both of them have the right to know and use all the assets of the family. However, the right to use must be negotiated by two people, and neither party may dispose of it without the knowledge of the other party.

This is not only a disrespect for each other, but also a failure to classify each other as a family from the heart. In some people's eyes, even if they share a bed for decades, even if there is the crystallization of love, they are still strangers with different surnames and no blood relationship.

However, if this is considered an outsider, then this person will never have real relatives in his life.

02

I don't care, even if I'm sick.

A wife in Zhihu confided that the family was isolated at home during the epidemic. She accidentally cut her finger while cutting vegetables and lost a lot of blood. Her husband just handed the medicine box without saying a word of concern or helping her cook.

That night, she lay in bed and shed tears all night. It suddenly occurred to her that the fetus was unstable during pregnancy and she would go to the hospital every three to five times. He never accompanied her once on the grounds of work.

After giving birth to a child, he was hospitalized with cervical spine injury. He never accompanied the bed except occasionally delivering a meal, because he had to ensure the quality of sleep in order to work well.

Last year, she was unfortunately hospitalized with a cerebral infarction, and he also shirked taking care of her on the grounds of work. At the same time, the doctor allowed her to go home and take a bath. He had a rest that day, leaving her to take a bath at home and running to the gym for five hours.

She questioned him. Is she so unworthy of his care? He always says that she thinks too much because she is too busy at work. When my mother-in-law was hospitalized after a stroke, she didn't work for forty days. He didn't go to work and the sky didn't fall?

Your wife is not an outsider, but a relative who has been with you for the longest time. She is your life partner. She deserves your extra care more than anyone else.

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Why do people get married?

Probably for someone to discuss something, talk nonsense together when bored, and squeeze a table for a meal after a tired day.

Probably still wronged outside, you can have someone to talk to when you go home; Sick, injured, injured, I can hear a heartfelt concern, I can feel at ease, can be carefully taken care of; When the years go by and the hair is white, there are still people who watch the sunrise and sunset hand in hand, stay together and face life and death calmly.

This is the meaning of marriage.

Marriage is the strongest bond in the world. It can bind two unrelated people together, and it can give people many new identities.

Husband, wife, father, mother, even grandparents, grandparents, but you still remember that all these identities can be summarized in two words, that is, family.

It must be a special fate to become a family along the way. If you love her more, she will repay you. You are the day when you can support everything for her. She is your gentlest harbor, and this is the real family.

May the person in front of you be your sweetheart, your sweetheart be your pillow person, and the pillow person be your family!