If you don't update, those middle-aged people who disappear into the circle of friends may be quietly surpassing you, do you know?

When people reach middle age, great changes will take place in physiology and psychology. They used to be spiritual boys squeezed by 996, and now they are middle-aged uncles who soak Chinese wolfberry in teacups. As they step into the ranks of 30 years old, many people around them have also entered the middle-aged stage of their lives, from a young and ignorant young man who dares to fight and fight to an aunt and uncle. Everyone has more and more responsibilities and pressures. Around middle age, there are completely two living conditions. When I was young, I was an ostentatious state of life. I can't wait to share every minute of eating, drinking and having fun with the whole world. When people reach middle age, they feel that everyone is slowly hiding themselves, the dynamics are not updated, and the circle of friends is rarely sent.

Moreover, there is a very strange phenomenon. Those who don't even make friends seem to be working hard silently and even living the life they want. After middle age, everyone's life no longer stays in the circle of friends, but shifts from the circle of friends to real life, and begins to really work hard for life and strive to pursue the future they want.

When I was young, I almost regarded my circle of friends as my whole life. I didn't understand the true meaning of life until middle age. Real life is what I should really care about. The original intention of Zhang Xiaolong, the father of WeChat, to invent WeChat was just to define it as a tool. In recent years, the development of artificial intelligence algorithm recommendation is both unexpected and frightening. Big data and algorithm recommendation can analyze everything I browse, label it and push what we like directionally. So there is the fact that everyone said that brushing videos can't stop. CCTV Bai commented on a video social platform: "It is brainwashing everyone in disguise, so that everyone can't live without it, but it can exist and develop to the present."

Some people only watch videos to improve themselves in order to avoid being immersed in them. In order to make up their minds to lose weight during the epidemic, friends usually only watch some videos that teach you to lose weight, and nothing else. Turning an entertainment social video software into a video fitness software is still the kind of free teaching and all-round weight loss.

To this end, I also interviewed some friends around me. They seldom make friends, some once every six months, and some don't make friends for a year. But there is a basic similarity. They have made great achievements in their own career and career development. Some of them were promoted twice a year, some of them got their monthly salary from 5,000 to 30,000 in five years, and some of them succeeded in starting their own businesses, earning 65,438 in the second year.

The middle-aged people who disappeared in the circle of friends all turned their efforts to real life. Many people are working hard in silence. Compared with retouching and racking their brains to copy in the circle of friends, they feel that the real life outside the circle of friends is a new world, real enough and cruel enough to force themselves to work hard.

Why don't you like to send friends?

The answer they gave me was: it's not that I don't like posting, but that there is nothing to post at all. When I was in my twenties, I felt that eating a meal, going to an amusement park and buying a new mobile phone were all things worth showing off. Nine photos and a few words are like showing my life to the whole world. At that time, many people's sense of accomplishment was that they got several praises in a circle of friends. Once they made a circle of friends, they at least kept the WeChat interface.

Now I don't think it's necessary to send anything on my circle of friends. In fact, we experience these things every day. Before, everyone's circle of friends was popular with fitness punching. Everyone sent photos of their fitness punching to their circle of friends, but the truth of the matter is: "Fitness for 5 minutes, taking photos for 2 hours."

In fact, from your own point of view, the state of your circle of friends is not the whole picture and true face of your life. Even if you send photos, only you know if you really went to the gym. Many people love to send friends to show off. At this time, the sense of accomplishment of showing off comes from your praise in front of the screen. Once, twice, three times, over time, the circle of friends has become a large-scale show-off scene. Of course, it is not excluded that some of them use friends to record and share themselves.

In fact, for many young people now, the circle of friends is an important channel for them to live a life recognized by others. Nowadays, the post-90s generation has a strong self-esteem. They can integrate into different people's circles by sharing their own things, and they don't want to be looked down upon by others, let alone be worse than others.

However, in the world of adults, especially embarrassed middle-aged people, they can only rush forward desperately. There is a state called "no time to make friends" and devote yourself wholeheartedly to your real life. In fact, there is no need to show or prove anything in the circle of friends, and the sense of accomplishment and vanity brought by friends will be greatly reduced. In real life, the promotion of position, the success of starting a business and the rise of salary are all more important to myself at this age.

Those middle-aged people who have enjoyed the pleasure of not making friends are all on the road to success, but some walk slowly and some walk fast. Instead of continuing to be a friend's puppet, it is better to give up friends, focus more on improving the quality of family life, educating children, supporting the elderly and so on, let go of people in your circle of friends and let yourself feel the real life, and you will feel more practical and motivated.

For middle-aged people, it is a trick for children to praise more than friends. Children's academic improvement, family harmony and happiness, and steady improvement of quality of life are the "friends circle" that they should bask in at this stage. The success of middle-aged people lies not in how much you like in your circle of friends, but in your control of life.

Also, they really don't care what your friends send.

Middle-aged people who are successful in the workplace may actually have many WeChat friends. Friends added in various work and private occasions may not remember who is who. However, there are so many important careers and contacts for them, but few closest family and friends. The rest are either indifferent or want something from themselves, so the circle of friends of most WeChat contacts is not important to them at all. They really don't care about their daily lives.

The adult world pays more attention to axiology. Whoever is valuable is worth interacting with. For middle-aged people who are successful in the workplace, measuring a person's value is never based on what his circle of friends has made. He didn't even have the time and opportunity to search your circle of friends. When you really give up the circle of friends that seems to lead to the world, you can actually find a bigger world. Friends circle can really connect with the real world, but for this group of people, they would rather.

Don't like to send friends, close friends are hard to find.

In fact, for people who have achieved something in their careers, it is actually very difficult to have an object and a friend to talk to. No one has experienced hardships and setbacks with him, and people naturally don't want to share the bitterness along the way with you. You only see people's glamorous times, but you can't see people's life lows. People who often only look at the results can't talk together. Their horizons and values are different. Moreover, many people's circle of friends is like a hodgepodge. Because of work, people at all levels may come into contact with it. When you send a circle of friends, some people think that you are showing off, and some people think that you are pretending and tired.

Of course, they will also have their own circle, and there are so many good friends worth talking about. There is no need to compliment each other and flatter each other. For them, it is the most comfortable state for everyone to sit together and chat.

When people reach middle age, their responsibilities and pressures are increasing, and many people will choose to return to real life, which is also the only way to grow up.